Five Past Midnight
by HereWithoutYou
Summary: After years of friendship the sparks fly, but what obstactles will an internship in a foreign country throw into their way? - AH/Slash ExJ Don't like it? Don't read it.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight related belongs to SM, like usually.**

**_________________________________________________**

**EPOV**

Even if I had known for months now that I was attracted to men and women alike, my first encounter with a man had practically blown my head off. I had months to prepare myself after my realization hit, although the realization itself took me years to have. I had always been happily dating women, never wasting a second thought about it. On that fateful day twelve months ago my best friend Jasper had left for an one year internship in Spain, leaving me with my world crumbling around me.

In a slow, at times rather painful, process I had an epiphany about our friendship: All this time I thought that my protective feelings and loyalty towards him were simply a bond between best friends. To explore why I never felt the same way about any other of my male friends didn't enter my mind for years.

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**(Flashback)**

_We were standing at the local airport, after hours of frantic packing, because Jasper needed to put it off to the last minute, the time to say good bye for a whole year was finally there. _

"_Stop worrying, Edward," Jasper chided me. "The plane won't crash, nobody will abduct me on my way and I'll be back in one piece in real short twelve months." _

"_Yes, I know.__You told me at least a million times for days now," I replied._

"_Because that frown seems to be constant on your face now. And neither do you have to worry about me being bored, I'm sure Spain has a lot of hot guys who wouldn't mind to entertain me for a while," he drawled, winking. He had come out to me shortly after his seventeenth birthday, right after the disastrous event of having sex for the first time, with a girl I might add. Only a few weeks later he told everyone else with me at his side to support him. _

_He considered himself gay, even though he had hit it off with women a couple of times after coming out. He always told me there were exceptions to every rule and that some woman simply attracted him but strangely he never even considered any closer relationships with them, for him it never went beyond attraction with them. _

"_That's not what I'm worried about and you know it, Jasper," I sighed._

"_Oh? __You aren't worried about those hot men snatching me from you?" __He joked. __"One could think that you have to say good bye to your lover with that frown imprinted on your face."_

"_I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I know what a great chance it is and I'm very happy for you, but you ARE my best friend and it'll be weird without you around. After all you were always there for about all of my 22 year old life." _

_It was a great opportunity for him, he had been studying hard for his journalism degree while he never could decide between writing and photography, this internship would give him the chance to implore both a little more. He was about to answer me when the announcement for boarding his plane haled through the huge airport halls. _

"_Alright, it's time I suppose," he sighed and wrapped me in a huge hug. Some people were looking at us, not that I minded. I was used to Jasper showing his feelings no matter how positive or negative they were. He had done so since I knew him and was what made him understand other's feelings so well, I think. _

_His scent clouded my mind and in a haze I listened as he told me not to mope around or else Emmett, a mutual friend, would let him know and he'd kick my ass once he was back. _

"_Take care, Edward," he whispered, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence. Without another hesitation he turned around and headed to his gate._

"_You, too Jasper," I whispered back to late and watched him take a piece of me with him, leaving me with a huge empty void inside me._

**(End flashback)**

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The first days after the scene at the airport I had been doing everything on auto-pilot. I had been visiting my classes, never truly participated though. My family, Jasper and music were always constants in my life, there had never been any doubt about my career choice. Working on my master degree in music, I had picked enough classes to keep me busy most of my days. I wasn't sure where exactly I was headed, composing was my passion, yet I could see myself teaching, too.

Nobody could make sense of my behaviour, not my parents nor my friends. They were clueless as how to act around me and even through my daze I could see how much I worried Esme, my mother. I tried to tough up my act around people, but obviously I had been pretty transparent, even to Jasper, who only read my replies to his daily e-mails.

When Jasper called me mere two weeks after he departed, only to threaten me, I knew just how much they all saw through me. He had threatened our friendship if I didn't get my shit together and made him come home. His sentiment was clear but I didn't truly believe his words. The worst about it probably was how clueless I had been, I couldn't tell why I acted this way.

After that call I had finally stopped operating on auto-pilot because I knew he'd make good on his threat and come home, I didn't want to be responsible for ruining this one time chance for the internship. I paid as much attention as possible to my classes and buried myself in the double of my usual work load. I kept on composing, even though it always felt like my pieces were missing something. I had to make this work though, if only to tell Jasper in my e-mails every day.

In the months he were gone I'd developed a severe case of insomnia, no matter how tired I always felt, I still often lay awake, wondering what Jasper was doing or why I had acted the way I did. The sleepy haze became a new constant in my life, effectively shutting out some of the never ending thought processes about Jasper and my weird reaction to his departure. Most people had stopped trying to draw me out, they never succeeded. Everyone but Carlisle, my father. He had approached me after maybe five months without Jasper.

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**(Flashback)**

"_Edward, are you in trouble?" He asked cautiously. _

_I sighed, already knowing where this conversation was headed. __"__No, I'm fine, dad__. __Please don't worry, I just have a lot work to do."_

"_I know how much you work and it isn't the reason for this all," he paused, testing my reaction and continued only after he was satisfied that I wouldn't shut him out completely. "There are huge, dark circles under your eyes, you look like you might fall asleep any minute now and you didn't play the piano in this house for months. You always played at least one song for Esme whenever you visited."_

"_I don't sleep very well lately, that's probably all. There's no reason at all to worry."_

"_You can't be serious, son. You have been acting like a zombie, for lack of a better word, for months. Don't you think that maybe Jasper has something to do with this?" he asked nonchalantly. _

_Jasper had been a part of my life for so long, it was useless to deny that his departure had nothing to do with my behaviour. "Probably, I just can't seem to figure out what exactly it is."_

"_I think you do. You just don't realize it, maybe don't even want to." _

"_Just tell me what you want to say, Dad. I can tell that you want to," I told him. _

_Searching for words it took him quite the little while to answer, "You should come to the conclusion yourself, it's not really that hard to see son." He walked over to the shelves behind his desk and turned back towards me with a photo album in his hands. __"__Here, something to get you started."_

"_Thanks," I said quietly, not a single clue what he was going on about, then I saw the album was labeled "Edward & Jasper". In my hand I held the recollection of my childhood and youth and not only mine, Jasper's too. Our mom's had been best friends as long as I can think, the bond between all of us grew even stronger when Jasper's father died four years ago._

_The first pictures showed Esme and Maria, Jasper's mom, with swollen bellies. The text underneath told me that Esme was in the 8th and Maria in the 6th month._

_Following was a picture with Esme and Maria holding Jasper and me, cooing over us. Jasper was in Esme's arms, easily identified by the tuff of blonde hair, while Maria was holding me._

_On the fourth picture were me and Jasper around two years old, I was pointing him my new toy car as he looked at me in wonder, his blonde hair stuck out every which way, not unlike my unruly bronze curls._

_The next one showed us at three years. We were sitting on the beach building sand castles with our fathers, it had been our first vacation, alone as well as together. Joy on our young faces and pride in our father's eyes, I immediately decided to make a copy of this picture for Jasper, knowing he'd appreciate it._

_The sixth picture was taken when we were around four years old. We were both bathed in baking powder and dough. Esme and Maria had attempted to let us help them bake but Jasper had sneezed into the baking powder, effectively covering me in it and making me cough like hell, which in turn covered us both even more in it. _

_The next was my favorite picture in the whole album. Jasper and I were around five in it, proudly showing of our broken arms, a large band-aid over his right eyebrow. I had broken my arm when we played racing on our bikes and was so sad when I heard that I couldn't play my piano that Jasper had decided to crash with his bike, too. It was an incredibly stupid thing to do, but I suppose in the logic of a five year old it was rather simple. Looking at the picture now my heart soared, he had risked his health in favor of my happiness. _

_Looking through the album holding one picture out of every new year of our lives, I couldn't stop the longing that burned inside me. It was the exact moment when it finally clicked: I didn't simply miss my best friend. I missed the person I could confide in, the one who'd all always put me on top of his priority list and was a part of my life even before we were born. I had taken his presence for granted, so much even that I overlooked my real feelings towards him. I didn't only long for my best friend anymore, but for the lover he could be to me._

"_I knew that you would figure it out," Carlisle interrupted my musing, not able to completely hide the smugness in his voice. He looked utterly pleased, whether by making me see the reality or the conclusion itself._

"_I'm in love with him," I whispered, trying out the words for the first time._

**(End flashback)**

_--------------------------------_

Not two minutes after my declaration I had freaked out completely. Lucky enough Carlisle had been there to calm me before I could totally lose it. He had reassured me that it had been okay to notice my feelings so late and that there wasn't anything bad about being gay. I can still see his comical expression when I told him that I wasn't gay. It was the truth though, I considered myself bi. While I was clearly in love with Jasper, I'd had great sex with women before. I found them attractive and after some more concluding I was convinced that both genders were attractive to me, but Jasper was the one I loved and no matter what that made me, it didn't change my feelings towards him.

There was an awkward distance between us since the night after the clubbing and I couldn't help but feel a little hurt by it and wondered where I went wrong with my conclusions. We had sex and he'd shown me through touches the same love I'd shown him, I couldn't comprehend where the problem was, but I knew I had to seek him out eventually to have that long overdue talk. It must've been confusing for him that I spent the night with him after being straight for the first 22 years of my life, I had to explain it.

The ringing of my cell phone brought me out of my thoughts and a glance at the display told me it was Alice.

"How come I haven't seen you in almost two weeks after that mysterious disappearance from the club?"

"Hello to you too, Alice," I replied. Alice wasn't someone to talk around things and it bothered her that Jasper and I made a secret departure from the club, even more it bothered her, that she didn't know where we went.

"Yeah, yeah. Edward I'm losing my patience here. What could have possibly made you two disappear on the evening we celebrated that Jasper was back and without saying a word to anybody?"

I sighed, she truly didn't get the concept that not everything was for her to know. She had been like this since I met in High School and usually it wouldn't bother me so much but this was something I had to talk about with Jasper before I told the rest of my friends. "I'm sorry Alice and I told you this before, but for now let it rest, please."

"It's driving me insane," she screeched and I had to suppress a chuckle. "Do you want me to be insane, Edward?"

"Of course not, Alice," _You are insane already. _The last part though I thought quietly to myself, no use in upsetting her any further, who knows how she might take revenge. A long sigh reached my ears and I couldn't help but chuckle. "Listen Alice, I promise to tell you once I've organized the mess of thoughts cursing through my brain. Can you live with that option?"

Another one of her _highly depressed_ sighs, as if Alice truly knew how to be depressed. "Yes, fine, but you better hurry up. And by the way, lunch tomorrow at my place. Don't even dare to arrive any later than noon, the others already know."

And without waiting for my answer or even saying a good bye she had ended the call. That was Alice to you, always pushing and nosing around in other people's business. She meant well, I knew, but it didn't change that I had to talk to Jasper first. He had a right to know about my epiphany first. At least if you didn't count my parents, they were the ones to bring me to my conclusions though. Esme had been ecstatic, her best friends child and her son. That we both were men didn't seem to matter one bit.

And damn me if Alice wasn't a little, scheming pixie. She had invited our whole little group for lunch, Emmett and Rosalie, Bella and Seth, and Jasper of course. She couldn't help but meddle into other people's business which didn't mean that I didn't want to throttle her right now. If Jasper and I met tomorrow for lunch, our friends would without doubt notice the awkward silence. Now I was forced to talk to Jasper, at least if I didn't want to raise the suspicion of the rest of our friends and keep them out of this. Jasper must have come to the same conclusion because the beep of my cell had announced a text message from him.

_We need to talk. I'll be over tonight. – J_

Alright, there went my calm demeanor. The worry washed over me and I couldn't help the panic raising in me at an alarming rate. I could act like I had gotten his message too late and go out now, missing his visit. And while the coward in me wanted to choose exactly this route, I decided to stay. We needed to clear this for my sanity and for Alice's.

I should have explained my actions to him right when we woke up that fateful morning but I didn't want to tarnish our night together, I hadn't anticipated how much harder it would be to tell him about my motivations now. Since nobody found a way to change the past yet, I had to regain my calm. The last thing I needed was for him to think I was freaked about what happened.

Hoping that running might help, I jumped into a pair of sweats and plan black t-shirt, grabbed my iPod and keys and went for a run to the forest close to my house. This was one of the major reasons for buying this house: It was located a little out of town, close to the forest and I enjoyed the quiet without direct neighbors. Walks often helped me clearing my head in my breaks from composing and small gatherings with my friends never were a problem either, there was nobody around to complain if we got to loud.

The first 30 minutes I ran full speed, enjoying the exhilaration the speed produced and walked back to the house in a light jog afterwards. As nice as the run had been, I still had too much time on my hands before Jasper would arrive.

Before I could start to worry again, I started to shed my clothes and went for a hot shower. It relaxed my still tense muscles but as soon as the spray of water hit me, my brain was assaulted by images off Jasper in nothing but a towel. When he'd woken me up after spending the night together, he came fresh out of the shower, a towel low on his hips and a few water drops running down his torso. Within seconds I was painful aroused and still amazed by Jasper's power over my body even when he wasn't here right now. Visualizing the feel of his hands and tongue on my body and how beautiful he looked, hovering above me, I started to stroke myself.

Ever since I've had sex with Jasper the images came back to me, making me horny as hell. I'd never encountered this problem before, neither that I jerked off instead of finding a willing woman. I wasn't sure why those memories evoked such powerful emotions, I could only guess that they were triggered by my feelings towards Jasper. Never before had I had sex with someone I truly loved, it obviously left an impact.

Steadying myself with a hand against the shower wall I picked up my pace to the fantasies of Jasper moving within me, it triggered my orgasm faster than I'd anticipated as I came all over my hand and bathroom tiles.

After I was done showering, I wrapped a towel around my hips and wandered to my piano, my body still humming with energy from my release. Transfixed I starred at the white and black keys, if only everything in life would be as easy, black and white. With closed eyes I started to play to first notes and felt my mind being overtaken by the music. I didn't need to see the keys to know which ones to hit, it made relaxing so much easier, at least until I felt someone sit down next to me and without opening my eye I knew it was Jasper. His scent swirled around me and I could feel the last tension rush out of my body. He patiently waited until I was done with my song and opened my eyes to meet his azure blue gaze.

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**AN: **

**Okay, after my One-Shot I came to the conclusion that it was rather hard to write without a plot (even more so because I couldn't decide on a pairing in the beginning, other than Jasper, and wrote from a neutral POV). All my thinking got me a whole plot and this is how it starts out. **

**Let me know your thoughts.**

**Love,**

**Sanny**

**P.S.: This isn't beta'd, let me know about errors and I'll correct them :o).**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight related belongs to SM, like usually.**

**AN1: **

**Okay let me say something real fast, a lot of people got confused with the timeframe. So here's the order in which things happened: **

**Jasper leaves for Spain**

**The talk with Carlisle – Edward realizes that he fell in love with Jasper (5 months after Jasper left)**

**Jasper comes back – they sleep with each other (One Shot Midnight Melody)**

**2 weeks after Jasper is back this story starts**

**I hope that clears things up a bit, if you still have question feel free to ask them :o).**

**_________________________________________________**

…_He patiently waited until I was done with my song and opened my eyes to meet his azure blue gaze."_

EPOV

His eyes held so many emotions, they overwhelmed me. Despite the love shining there, sadness and pain was prominent. "Jasper…," I whispered.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered back, his voice breaking as a single tear trailed over his cheek.

Confusion overtook me, what could he possibly be sorry for? Grabbing his hand I pulled him from the piano bench to my couch and sat him down. I sat on the coffee table in front of him, not able to bear anymore distance between us and kept his hand clutched in mine. I've never seen Jasper like this and with all that happened between us, I couldn't help but be worried over the pain that was now plainly showing on his face.

"What are you sorry for?" I asked gently. "Did something happen?"

He fidgeted in front of me, worrying me even further. He had never withheld information from me before, not that I knew of at least and for now I didn't know how to deal with it. I felt a little like Alice, desperate for information when he finally took a deep breath and answered, "I have to tell you something and I really need you to let me finish talking before jumping to conclusions. Can you promise me that, Edward?"

"Yes, I'll try," I told him without hesitation. I could see that he wanted to get this off his chest, but not sure if I really wanted to hear it. I tried to be patient, give him the time he needed to start talking and studied him in the meantime. His eyes had dark circles underneath them, as they were locked on the floor, his whole posture was hunched and one could practically see the tension in his muscles.

"Do you remember the girl from my e-mails, Edward?" He asked so quiet, I had to lean forward to understand him. I nodded and he continued, "I met Alyssa in my first couple weeks in Spain and we got along wonderful. We hung out a lot as she showed me most of Spain or we went to bars to dance in the evenings. I told you most of this in my e-mails."

Again I nodded, wondering where he went with this. I could still recall the jealousy every mention of Alyssa had spiked in me. He met my eyes for a second and before he dropped his gaze back to the ground I saw a glimpse of guilt and felt the panic in me arise anew until I felt his thumb brushing over the back of my hand. Like so often he had sensed my distress and tried to calm with a simple gesture.

"She was there for me whenever I missed my home or you. Even though I only talked about you as my best friend, she read between the lines and knew right away that it wasn't only friendship I felt towards you," he paused, taking another deep breath. "One night, almost four month ago, I was in a terrible shape. You've been distant for months now and I couldn't figure out why. She had comforted me when my world seemed to crumble around me. Her touches as she tried to calm me, gave me the feeling of someone caring for me. One thing lead to another and we…," again he trailed off, and I braced myself for what was to come. "I slept with her, Edward."

And there it was, the jealousy raging inside of me while I rationally knew that I couldn't fault him for this. He hadn't even known about my feelings for him when it all happened, so technically I had to blame my own stupidity. I opened my mouth to answer him just as another terrifying thought entered my mind; he wasn't going to tell me that he fell in love with her, was he? He hadn't figured out now that he wasn't gay after all so shortly after I came to realize my feelings for him?

"Edward, snap out of it. I told you to let me finish before you jump to any conclusions," he reminded me, it was the loudest I had heard him speak today. "It was only once and neither of us ever tried for something more, we stayed friends just like before that small incident."

Standing up, I walked into my office to retrieve the album I had made for Jasper over the past months. "What the hell are you doing, Edward? I wasn't done," he called after me. "And what the hell was that stunt two weeks ago anyway? I thought you were the straight one out of the two of us, yet you kept on flirting with me in that club until my self control snapped."

Reentering the living room, I sat back down on the coffee table and wordlessly held out the album to him. I didn't know what to tell him, the album could probably show him better, after all it had shown me what I hadn't been able to figure out myself for years.

He carefully took it from my hands and I watched him thumb through it with equal care, as if afraid to break it. When he reached the page with the picture of us and our fathers, new tears formed in his eyes and I couldn't resist the urge to touch him anymore. I sat next to him and pulled him against me, hoping to give him the reassurance he needed at the moment. He laid his head against my shoulder and I watched him discover the pictures in silence, the pictures I had spent hours upon hours on to find the best one for each year of our lives.

Once he was done, he shifted on the couch to meet my gaze. The wet streaks, where his tears had trailed, glittered in the low light and his eyes shone with love. "Thank you so much, Edward. I can't even begin to tell you how precious this is to me," he told my quietly.

"There's no need to thank me, it means just as much to me. My mother's album made me realize that I didn't just miss you as my best friend but that I was in love with you. Whenever I missed you, I worked on it," I explained. "I love you, Jasper."

"Please, don't talk about love until you know the whole truth, you might very well hate me then," he pleaded with me, tears still overflowing.

"What else could there possibly be? Are your intentions with me friendship only?"

"No, it wasn't only friendship anymore since I was fifteen," he whispered. "But…"

I didn't let him finish his sentence, cutting it off by sealing my lips over his. Nothing mattered right now but that we loved each other. A content sigh escaped me and my whole body relaxed as it finally got what it craved to feel for the past days. His tongue pushed against my lower lip, lightly caressing it and begging for entrance, which I gladly granted him by meeting his tongue with mine.

My hands seemed to move on their own account, one into his soft, blonde locks and the other stroke across his chest, pushing him back against the couch until I was hovering above him. Too soon Jasper pulled away, our breaths laboured. "We can't do this until we finished our talk, Edward," he said between breaths.

"Yes, we can and we will. Let me make love to you, Jasper." My lips recaptured his to cut off any protest he might have, if it wasn't for a lack of feelings nothing would stop me and according to his prominent erection pressing against my tight, it wouldn't stop us either. Slowly I slipped my hands under his shirt, stroking along his defined abs to his pecs until I reached is nipple and twisted it gently between my thumb and forefinger, evoking a low groan from him.

Stroking back to the hem of his shirt, I broke our kiss to pull it over his head and let him return the favour. As much as I wanted to just sit back and watch the rapid rise and fall of his gorgeous chest, my body seemed to gravitate towards his, needing to feel his skin on mine. My right hand palmed the bulge in his jeans, earning a moan from him, as my lips trailed kisses down his stomach until I reached the happy trail I loved so much. Before my brain even registered what I was doing, I had unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down along with his boxer shorts.

Once I got rid of them completely I sat back on my hunches between his legs, admiring the look in front of me. I figured after receiving numerous blow jobs myself, I could just reverse the things I liked on him and set out to start with slow kisses up his thigh until I reached the base of his shaft. I licked along his whole length until I reached his tip, wrapping my lips around it.

"Edward...," he started to protest, but ended up moaning as I hummed around him to cut him off. My left hand gripped his hip bone to hold him in place while my right hand worked in sync with my lips. By the sounds he made I figured out fast that he liked my teeth grazing the sensitive skin of his tip or the way I tugged lightly on his balls. His pants came faster and faster, mixing with low curses under his breath.

Looking up to him from under my lashes I saw how flushed his face was and my own erection twitched against my jeans, he wouldn't last much longer, which was truly a pity, considering that I enjoyed doing this more than I ever anticipated. I loved that I caused these reactions; every moan and groan was like a little reward and spurted me on only more.

Jasper's hands were knotted in my hair and started tugging me upwards until I had no chance but to release him from my mouth. "I want us to come together, Edward," he told me between pants and pulled me towards him until I covered his whole body with mine. Hooking one arm around my neck he pulled me close until he could reach my ear, biting my ear lobe he whispered, "If you keep that up I'll come so fast, darlin', it'll be embarrassing."

"Come with me then," I coaxed huskily, grabbing his hands to lead him to my bedroom and took the moment to clear the haze in my head, caused by being so close to Jasper.

The room was completely dark, the only sounds heard were our shallow breaths and the hard rain outside. We came to a stop in the middle of the room, when Jasper spun me around and pulled me back against him. His hands sneaked around my body, firmly grabbing my backside.

"Your ass looks divine in those jeans," he murmured into my neck, leaving little kisses between the words. "And it looks even better without them." Said and done, he unbuttoned them and let them fall around my ankles, my boxer shorts joining my jeans only seconds later.

His hands cupped my ass again, pulling me towards him and creating the most amazing friction, as our erections rubbed against each other. Even in the dark my lips found his. The light stubble on his chin, as it grazed mine, a stark contrast to the softness of his lips. I kept pushing his body towards my bed till his legs hit it and we lowered ourselves on it. Lying on our sides our kisses grew rougher with need, our hands touching every little bit of skin they could find. The moans were like music to my ears, with the rhythm of the pounding rain in the background.

I reached into the night table besides me to grab a bottle of lube and handed it to Jasper, who opened it but instead of using it to prepare me for him like I had intended, he grabbed my hand and squeezed the lube on it. Undeniably offering me his trust in bottoming for me, letting me take control of our pace.

I spread the lube on both hands and start to prepare him, starting out with one finger while my other hand started to rub his length in sync with my fingers. Jasper was patient, letting me explore what he liked, humming in content with every new sensitive spot I found until he writhed next to me. Gripping a condom from the night table behind me, he ripped open the foliage and put it me. His eyes locked on mine as he grabbed the lube bottle and applied some more onto the condom before he lay back down on his side, his back pressing into my chest.

His face angled towards mine in search for a kiss while my hands winkled one of his legs to give me better access. Slowly, to avoid hurting him, I slipped into him, feeling more at home with every inch till I was fully seethed. After moments of stillness to let us both adjust, I started to move within him. Reaching over his hips, I stroke him in time with my thrusts. My movements were slow and deliberate, which hopefully conveyed how much he meant to me, how precious he was.

Soon he started to move his hips along with mine, meeting each of my thrust. Our lips were always in contact, only pausing to pull in much needed air, words weren't needed. Before too long our pace changed, gaining speed with the increasing need for our releases. My lips found his neck and I started to suck on it, in hope of leaving a small mark and showing the whole world that he was mine. Mine to love and take care of, mine to make love to.

Feeling him twitch around me took all my concentration to hold off, I couldn't let go until he wasn't ready and he was seriously testing my self-control. "Let go, baby," I rasped. "Cum for me."

My words seemed to hit home because next his muscles clenched even more and a string of profanities slipped from his mouth, so incredibly sexy that they triggered my own orgasm. While I chanted my love for him over and over again, I picked up my speed one more time, riding out the waves of my release and only half aware of Jasper coming all over my hand and bed sheets.

Yet I wasn't ready to separate our bodies, instead I pulled him flush against my chest, my head rested in the crook of his neck while I waited for our ragged breaths to calm down. His fingers weaved through mine and pulled my hand to his chest, where I felt his ecstatic heartbeat. My eyes closed and my body relished the feeling of the warmth surrounding me, making me feel unconditionally loved.

I slipped out of him to prevent falling asleep in my relaxed state and carefully freed myself from Jasper's grasp to get out of the bed, hushing his tired sounding protest. On my way to the bathroom to fetch a wash clothes, which I drenched in warm water, I disposed of the condom before joining Jasper back in bed. Gently I cleaned his body from all the mess we made before I wrapped myself around him, and the sounds of the rain and Jasper's breath lull me into relaxation.

"You realize that we still didn't finish our talk, don't you?" His words sounded slightly slurred and he turned in my arms to face me. "We can't go on like this before you don't know the whole truth."

Tenderly I stroked the hair out of his face, watching how the worry crept back into his eyes, successfully banishing the contentment. "We don't have to talk about this now, Jas. I can see how much it hurts you, whatever it is," I sighed. "We have all the time in the world. We don't have to figure out everything right now, do we?"

"But we have to," he murmured, stroking my face with his fingertips. "I'm just so very afraid of your reaction. I dreamt of this, us, for so long now."

"Then tell me what's on your mind. I'm here for you, I've always been." No matter what had him so frightened, it must be a big thing, I had never seen him stall so much, never so troubled over telling me something. Squeezing his hand encouragingly I waited in silence until he was ready to tell me what had him so troubled.

After taking several deep breaths he finally began to speak, his voice barely above a whisper, "Alyssa is almost four months along."

I could feel my eyebrows furrow in confusion but he didn't volunteer anymore information. "What the hell are you talking about Jasper?"

His eyes closed in resignation before he answered several seconds later, "Her pregnancy."

It took a couple of minutes before my brain at last started to draw the connections and everything fell into place and the panic started to close in on me.

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**AN2: **

**Here you go, a couple of hours later than I intended, but I fell asleep, sorry ;P. **

**I consider writing the next chapter in JPOV, what do you think? Let me know your thoughts, good and bad. The next chapter should be up next week, while I try to find a beta, which hopefully can straighten out some of the things I mess up!**

**Last but not least, thanks for the reviews and PMs they helped me to find things that I need to work on harder. And that's about it!**

**Love,**

**Sanny**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight related belongs to SM, like usually.**

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_... It took a couple of minutes before my brain at last started to draw the connections and everything fell into place and the panic started to close in on me._

**JPOV**

The silence between us stretched and stretched but like the damn coward I was, I kept my eyes clenched shut tightly. I couldn't bring myself to open them and see the hurt and pain I felt reflected in his beautiful emerald eyes. His hands had stilled on my face, not moving another inch since he connected the pieces and came to understand what I was trying to tell him.

Alyssa was pregnant, a result from our one night stand that wasn't supposed to mean anything more. When Alyssa told me about it, three months ago, my reaction was similar to Edward's. To say that I was shell shocked would be the understatement of the year and I could only start to guess what Edward was thinking right now.

"Jas," Edward said quietly, his fingers moving over my cheekbones. "Look at me, please."

Taking a couple of deep breaths I steeled myself for what he had to say. Thoughts of him, yelling at me for ruining everything or him telling me to get out of his bed, house and life, ran through my mind before I slowly opened my eyes.

There was the pain I expected to see but also softness and vulnerability which took me by surprise and the total lack of anger surprised me even more. My throat felt constricted and made it hard for me to talk, yet I tried, "I'm so truly sorry, I can't even start to tell you how much."

"Shh," Edward shushed me. "I know that you certainly didn't plan this. Your emotions are all over the place and I think we should talk about this rationally. Sop apologizing, it's not needed."

What the…? I could feel my eyes widen at his words, who the hell was this guy in front of me and what did he do to my Edward, temper tantrums and all? His calm demeanor was such a new thing to me, I simply couldn't believe it and a part of me was still waiting for his outburst.

"I've been waiting months for you to come back, Jasper. I came to accept my feelings while you were away and I'm not going to back out now," he continued upon my silence. "We can talk this out and make it work."

I sighed. "I'm afraid we can't," I told him in the calmest voice I could muster. Instantly a look of hurt crossed his face, he had misunderstood me. "It's not because of a lack of feelings, I promise you that and hope you believe me. It's just…"

"What the fuck am I supposed to think then Jasper? Obviously calmness and understanding isn't what you want to hear. Neither that I want this between us to work out," he said, his voice raising in volume and taking a menacing calm tone. "So tell me, what do you want to hear?"

I had to choose my words carefully now that he showed the first signs of his anger spiking, that is if I didn't want him to leash out on me. "She is pregnant with my child, Edward. It is my responsibility and I don't plan on leaving her to deal alone with all of this mess. The only reason I'm here right now and not in Spain is that I wanted to tell my family and friends in person."

"She's going to live here then?" he asked and something I couldn't identify clouded his eyes.

"Do I really have to spell it out for you? You are smarter than that," I replied.

"I was just hoping that I interpreted it wrong," he mumbled, sounding utterly defeated.

And how I wished he was. I never even dared to let myself hope that he'd ever return my feelings and now that he did, I had this whole mess. I'd never felt this hopeless, not even when he had introduced me to his first girlfriend so many years ago.

When I decided to accept my internship I couldn't have made up all those changes. Initially I thought that maybe some distance to Edward would help me, show me how I could finally make my own life, eventually find love with someone else. But I had been kidding myself, with every day away from him I felt worse, missing little things about him the most.

I had missed the wonder in his eyes whenever he heard a new piece of music that touched him, the way he was pissed off all morning when he didn't have his lucky charms or the small little gestures that made him my best friend, like always in worrying over my unhealthy eating habits, feeding me when I forgot about it again or doing something to embarrass himself just to take off unwanted attention of me.

For the first time in my life I had done something without Edward and my life had been missing a piece so essential. I had taken his presence granted for such a long time and even if I knew there wasn't another option I didn't look forward to more time without him. I just hoped that my little son or daughter would take most of my attention, so that I wouldn't have time to think about home.

A shuddering breath right in front of me brought me out of my musing. Edward's eyes started to redden around the edges and his breaths were shaky. Knowing him for so long, I knew that he was fighting the tears and it was breaking my heart. It was okay if I hurt in the process of it all, but I couldn't handle hurting him along the way.

Pulling him close to me, I wrapped my arms around him and felt his face pressing against the crook of my neck. His arms snaked around my waist and by now I was hyper aware of our naked bodies, thankfully my body seemed to possess enough tact though not to react to it. Humming softly to him it didn't take long before I felt the moisture on my neck.

"I know it must seem like I'm repeating myself," I murmured, fighting my own tears now. "But I'm so very sorry for causing this whole mess."

"Don't be silly," Edward's muffled voice rang out, his warm breath tickling against the sensitive skin of my neck. "You didn't plan this and I won't hold it against you."

"I don't deserve that much understanding," I muttered. If I was honest, I had no clue how to fix this or if there was even a chance to fix it.

Edward loosened his hold around me and sat back a bit, so he could look at me. His eyes holding a dangerous glint and his voice rough as he answered, "It's as much my fault as yours. I was the one who took years to realize what you meant to me other than being my best friend. I don't want us to waste the time we have left with arguing and blaming each other. Let's make it count, alright?"

By the end of his statement his voice softened and I didn't have it in me anymore to argue. I was almost a hundred percent sure that it would make everything so much worse if we got this close now and had to say good bye in a couple of weeks.

"Are you sure about this?" I didn't even have an ounce of strength left to fight him on this, how could I? It was after all what I wished to happen for years.

"I've never been surer," he vowed, pulling me close with a hand on my neck to kiss me quickly before he continued, "I want to make this work no matter how many obstacles are thrown in our way. For example I could move to Spain with you."

"Don't be silly. You don't even speak a word Spanish. First of all you have to finish your education and then we can see how we will work this out."

Studying me carefully, he replied, "You'd tell me if you didn't want me there right? You aren't just making up excuses?"

"God Edward, how do these absurd thoughts even enter your mind?" I wondered out loud, he had changed a lot in the past year and I'll be damned if I'd knew where these insecurities suddenly came from. He had always been the more confident out of the two of us. Never caring what anybody else thought. This cocky attitude of his had been starring in so many of my fantasies and now I couldn't even see anything left of it.

"Well…," he hedged.

Lifting his chin up so I could see his eyes, I saw how tired he looked, his eyes were already starting to drop. "You are tired," I concluded, it had been a tiring evening after all. "You should catch some sleep. Don't think though this discussion is over, I still want to know what happened to my ever confident, arrogant Edward. I'll remind you about it once you had enough sleep."

"Okay," he answered, settling back into my arms. "Will you stay a little longer?"

"Whatever you want, my darlin'." And how could I deny him? Running my fingers absently through his hair, I started to hum a random melody again and drifted off into my memories. I could still remember how our mothers used to hum us in bed every so often when we were younger. It has always effectively lulled us to sleep and I hoped it would work tonight, too.

And I was right, it didn't take long until Edward's breathing evened out, the evening's activities must've taken a lot out of him and no matter how tired I felt myself, there was no chance of falling asleep anytime soon. Too many things went through my head, not giving me a second of peace. It had been like that since I knew about Alyssa's pregnancy, though I knew how to cope with it.

I watched the beautiful, sleeping man in my arms in awe till I was satisfied that he wouldn't wake up again anytime soon. Carefully I pried his hands from my waist and extracted myself to slip out of bed. I wandered back to the living room where I found my boxers and slipped them on before I went on search for a piece of paper and a pen.

When I sat down on the couch my gaze fell down on the scrapbook Edward had given me. It was the most precious thing I had ever been given, I had been telling him the truth about this. Again I picked it up and thumbed through it. The small book was bound in black leather, with thick pages that were filled with music notes on every page.

Edward had invested so much time in this and even without being able to read notes I knew for sure that these were small parts of his compositions. He had basically put a part of himself on paper for me, combining it with pictures that held some of the best memories of our lives.

Apart from the picture us with our dads on the beach, I liked the picture of Edward and me sitting on his porch the most. I could still remember the day so clearly, we both were seventeen and I had already come out to him. We sat on the stairs of the porch, with the sun setting behind us, his hand lay on my tight and I could still recall how he told me that there was no reason to be afraid of our parent's reaction. Seeing it now, it almost looked like we were about to kiss, though in reality we just didn't want anybody to overhear us and were whispering quietly to each other.

Another picture showed us on our first vacation without our parents. It had been a present from our parents after we received hour high school diplomas, a trip to Italy with a tourist group. The picture showed Edward and me sitting in front of the Trevi Fountain in Rome at night. Someone of our group had snapped while we were in engrossed in our talk, both smiling widely at each other, while the fountain's lights shone brightly behind us. I could still recall how we stood there with our backs to the fountain and threw coins into it. Neither of us really believing in the in the legend, yet it was a very fond memory.

The last picture in the scrapbook was taken maybe two months before I went to Spain. I had just gotten the news about my internship and we were locked in a hug and Edward had been congratulating me. The words he whispered into my ear back then still echoed in my mind: "It will only strengthen our friendship, Jas. Only twelve short months and everything will be normal again, like you've never been gone." Neither of us would have believed it if someone had told us what those months would bring.

And for the umpteenth time tonight the tears sprang to my eyes, weren't we some crybabies today? Silently laughing to myself I wondered when I, or even Edward for the matter, had cried for the last time to such an extent.

Not wanting to delve into another dark topic today, I banned the question from my head. I gently laid the scrapbook down next to me and grabbed the pen and paper instead to start writing a note for Edward. I didn't want him to freak out when he woke up and I was gone, but I needed some time to clear my head and I couldn't do it here in his house, for obvious reasons.

I started to collect my clothes, which were spread all over the living room, and put them on. Making as few noises as possible I tiptoed back into the bedroom, set his alarm for 11 am and placed the note on the empty side of the bed. I didn't want him to face Alice's wrath if he wasn't on time for lunch. One more time I looked at his sleeping form and was overcome by the pleasant tingling in my body. He had truly captured me, body and soul.

I made sure all the windows and doors were locked before I finally made my way home in a trans-like state. The rain was still pouring down and in the short walk from the car to my house I got completely drenched. My clothes clung to me and water dripped into my eyes, by tomorrow I probably would be sick as hell although I couldn't bring myself to really care.

Various thoughts ran through my mind, not allowing me a minute rest. Would I be selling my house or keep I for when I was visiting? It was only a small three room house however it had been my personal haven for about 5 years now.

Would I be able to visit often enough to keep the bond between Edward and me as strong as it currently was? I already knew that Alyssa outright denied to move to the states. She didn't do so to do get on my nerves; in fact she told me that she would understand if I didn't want to move to Spain. She simply wanted to have her family around for what, no doubt, would be a difficult time in both our lives. Who was I kidding, Alyssa and I were both scared shitless and if it soothed her to have her family around to help out, I could understand her completely.

Why did I have to make a cluster fuck out of everything? Exactly, because I had shown one moment of weakness. And now there wasn't a fucking thing I could do about it, no amount of whining and moaning about it could make it go away.

Time was probably the only thing now that could bring us any kind of solution. I had to focus on settling everything here in the states, so I could take care of my unborn baby and its mother. The problems between Edward and I would hopefully solve themselves, given enough time. He was so convinced we could make it work, maybe I just had to trust him on this, like I had done all my life.

Walking to the kitchen I found a bottle of vodka, unscrewed it and drank straight from it. Why bother with a glass if I intended to finish it off anyways? I wanted to take the edge of my thoughts badly, I needed some rest to think clear again.

As it turns out, I should have thought about this a little better. Before the alcohol took the edge off it made everything worse. Sitting in my dark living room, in my wetter than wet clothes, I had my very own pity party.

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**AN:**

**There it is, first JPOV. **

**I hope you guys like it, let me know either way. Good or bad, any feedback is welcome :o)**

**I hope it doesn't seem too glum, my grandma went to hospital last night and I've been writing to keep my mind from thinking of it. I hope not too much of it seeped into the chapter.**

**The next chapter should be up by the end of the coming week latest. My schedules a bit tight this week but I try to post as fast as possible :o).**

**Anyway, before I start to ramble that's about it! **

**Love,**

**Sanny**

**P.S.: This still isn't beta'd, so don't chop my head off for my mistakes :o). Anyone interested in beta reading for this story? Please let me know!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Like usually I don't own anything Twilight-related. I simply borrowed SM's characters for a bit.**

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**EPOV**

It took me quite a few seconds to identify this annoying noise as my alarm clock. Turning it off, I sat up, still disoriented from sleep. As the covers fell to my waist, an unpleasant shiver ran through me; seems like all the rain had cooled down the temperature. On the pillow next to me lay a folded piece of paper, which I grabbed eagerly, already concluding that it could only be from Jasper.

_Good morning, sleepyhead,_

_I set your alarm clock, so you don't have to face Alice's wrath._

_Please don't be mad that I left early, I needed some time to clear my mind._

_Come over before lunch if you want to, I'll be home till 11:45 AM._

_Love,_

_Jasper_

Short and simple, yet enough to make me smile till my cheeks hurt, typical Jasper. Swinging out of bed with said smile, I made my way to the bathroom for my morning routine.

The shower's hot water did wonders to get rid of the last bit of tension in the muscles in my back and if I hadn't been so greedy to spend some alone time with Jasper before lunch, I could've easily spent another couple of minutes under the spray of water.

Rubbing the fog from the mirror, I saw that my shower had erased the last traces of yesterday's tears. My eyes weren't swollen any longer, but bright and excited. I didn't even bother with brushing my hair, it would stand every which way in a matter of minutes anyway. After a quick shave and brushing my teeth, I went to grab the first pieces of clothes I could find and put them on, eager to leave.

The ride to Jasper's took only a mere ten minutes, including a stop for coffee because I knew Jasper would be grateful for it. Arriving at his place, I stood a whole five minutes in front of his door until I started to wonder if he was even awake yet. Using the key he gave me before he went away, I let myself in.

"Jasper!" I called, walking into the living room, where I dropped my keys and the coffee on the table. In the middle of the table stood an almost empty vodka bottle and slowly I started to wonder what the hell was going on.

When I reached his bedroom I saw him lying in his bed, on the covers, fully clothed and thoroughly passed out. Swiftly I got him a glass of water and two Tylenol from the bathroom before I crouched down next to him and whispered, "Jasper, honey, time to wake up."

A small smile on his lips, quickly replaced by a frown, was the only reaction I got from him. Stroking over his brow softly, the frown smoothed and it was so adorable that I could've watched him like this for hours. "Baby, wake up or Alice is going to kill both of us," I tried again, raising my voice a little and shaking him gently.

He groaned loudly and burrowed his face deeper into his pillow, mumbling something indefinable. At this point it was hard work to hold back the laughter that threatened to bubble out of me, but I kept persuading him to get up. "Look, I even brought you Tylenol and there's a mocha frappuccino waiting for you in your living room."

One could always count on Jasper's addiction for coffee and it finally got his attention. Lifting his head, he blinked up at me and silently accepted the pills and water, swallowing them swiftly. His eyes looked slightly swollen and his hair stood in several directions.

"Thanks," he croaked. "You are a lifesaver."

"Duh. Now go take a shower while I call Alice and try to keep her from biting your head off, which I'm rather fond of," I teased, already dialing Alice on my cell.

Obviously the threat of Alice made him finally snap out of his sleepy haze. At last he got out of bed and stumbled his way to the bathroom, while I stared after him. Who could blame me though? He had an ass to die for.

"Damn it, Edward, is it really so hard to get here on time?" Alice's whiney voice brought me back from my daydreams.

"Look," I mumbled. "There's really no good excuse. So I'll just ask you very nicely to forgive us. We'll be there as soon Jasper is ready to go, alright?"

"Fine, but you had better start figuring out how to make this up to me," she snapped and hung up on me. That's Alice for you.

Sighing, I let myself fall back on Jasper's bed, my legs dangling off the side. Immediately his scent surrounded me, causing me to inhale deeply. My body relaxed, my eyes closed, playing images of Jasper in the shower and if Jasper wouldn't have appeared a couple minutes later, I would've fallen asleep again.

"Don't you fall asleep on me now," he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. "Not until you tell me where you hid my coffee, anyway."

"Do you truly believe that I'd tell you before I even get the good morning kiss I came here for?" I asked and opened my eyes to see him full out smirking at me.

"Come here then, darlin'," he whispered and leaned into me until our lips almost touched.

His hot breath washed over my face, smelling of mint. As usual, his closeness made me feel like my head was stuck in a cloud and all that mattered was him. Knotting my fingers in his blonde locks, I closed the gap between our lips.

Trying to tease him, I pulled back after the shortest contact, but he'd have none of it. Instead he captured my lower lip between his teeth, nipping on it gently before he ran his tongue over it. Hooking my legs around him, I gladly fulfilled his request and opened my mouth for our tongues to meet.

As innocent as I planned this good morning kiss to be, Jasper had different plans. His hands found their way under my shirt, his fingertips fluttering over my abs to my pecs and back to the hem of my shirt. Breaking our kiss, he removed it and his shirt followed suit before he crashed his lips back to mine.

With my legs I pulled him closer till his whole upper body covered mine. My fingers twitched to touch his growing erection, which was deliciously pressed against my own hardness. With each passing second, our kiss grew more heated, leaving us breathless when we pulled apart at last.

Jasper's forehead rested against mine, his breath feeling cool against my flushed face. "I need you, Edward," he whispered between pants, as he ran his hand over my crotch.

His words found their way straight to my pants, evoking a heartfelt groan from me. I felt like I might just spontaneously combust, at least if I judged from the tightness of my pants. "Who am I to deny you then?" I questioned before running my tongue over his Adam's apple.

"It's not like you have much self-control, Darlin'," he teased, hooking his fingers under the waistband of my pants. "Or do you?"

"Not when it comes to you, Jasper." I admitted innocently and flipped us over. Hovering above him now, I closed my lips over his nipple and bit down gently. "But then again, who would when someone like you demands control?"

Arching his chest into me, he groaned, "Do that again and I will gladly give over all control to you."

"Not this time," I murmured and gave his nipple on last lick. "You needed me, so I suggest you take me."

"Damn right I will," he growled, popping the button of my jeans and pulling them down along with my boxer briefs. Pushing me off him, he got up from the bed and I wondered what he might be up to. My eyes fixed on him, I watched as he pulled my jeans down the rest of my legs and made quick work of his own jeans, carelessly tossing them in a random corner.

Returning his attention to me he started dropping kisses on my knee up to my hips, leaving out the area where I wanted him to touch me the most. It reminded me of the torture he unleashed on me on our first night. He kept crawling up my body, kissing his way over my stomach in a straight line to my neck, his fingers following a second after each kiss. The haze in my mind grew and by now I hardly recognized the weird noises as my own moans.

"_A friend is a friend, 'til the end of the end. That's forever and a day,_" my cell phone started playing this ridiculous melody, causing Jasper to groan above me. He, too, knew whose ring tone it was. Only one person we both knew would use it to set her own ring tones on another person's cell phone: Alice.

"Can't we just ignore her?" he begged me.

I outright laughed at him. "Honestly, we are talking about Alice, here. There's no way she'll let us ignore her," I told him, but right after I finished, my cell phone went quiet.

"Obviously we can," he drawled and picked right up where he left off, kissing up my throat. Once he reached my ear, he whispered roughly, "So tell me, do you want me to make you cum hard?"

I started to writhe underneath him upon hearing this, his words sending bolts of need through my body. Every thought of Alice was long forgotten as I felt the friction of Jasper's lean form on top of me. Parting my legs, he sat in between them, staring at me unashamed. His eyes held an undeniable desire that prevented me from staying still.

"Damn it, Jasper, will you stop simply looking at me and finally fucking touch me?"

A wicked grin appeared on his face as he leaned down, his head dangerously close to my now painful erection. "Now, now. Let's be patient, shall we?"

"Fuck patience. ...me." I ground out between clenched teeth. One of these days I'd make him pay for all of this. "Now."

"Do you know how sexy it is when you are all hot and bothered, commanding me to touch you?" he asked, blowing a breath on the tip of my hard length.

"_A friend is a friend, 'til the end of the end. That's forever and a day,_"

"No, no, no," I chanted. This couldn't be true, why did Alice never know when to leave people alone!

Jasper, still sitting between my legs, started to laugh. His shoulders shaking uncontrollably as he tried to hold it in. "You think that's funny, huh?" I asked, irritated.

"Let's face it, baby. She won't stop calling 'til you answer, so just get it over with."

Sitting upright, I crawled over the bed to reach my jeans and retrieved my damn phone. I hit the answer button and before I could even get a single word out, Alice's screech reached my ears, "Edward Anthony Masen, what the fuck is wrong with you? You are almost an hour late and so help me god, you better have the world's best excuse for making us all wait on the two of you."

"Alice," I cut her off. "You need to calm down, you hear me?"

"Calm down, you say? We have been waiting for one hour and the stupid lunch is long since cold. I expect you to be here in exactly twenty minutes, or else I'll make hell look like a nice place for you!" And again, she hung up on me. Shaking my head, I sighed.

"Come on, let's get going or she'll have our heads for real," Jasper said, giving me a quick peck. "We both agreed to lunch and it really wasn't nice of us to ditch our friends like this."

"Maybe, but I'd rather take care of the problem at hand," I murmured, gesturing at my boner. "Let's go face hell then."

Said and done, we both stood up gathering our clothes. Once we both were properly dressed, Jasper took my hand, leading me to the living room. Handing him his frappuccino, I grabbed my car keys and off we were.

After a silent ten minute ride, most of which I spent calming myself down and Jasper absently stroking his thumb over the back of my hand, we arrived two minutes before our twenty minute deadline at Alice's place.

Walking hand in hand to the door, I could tell by the look on Jasper's face that he was surprised how openly I demonstrated our newfound relationship status. Honestly, though, I intended to never hide my feelings for him again. I was proud to call him mine, even prouder that he considered me his.

The door opened, revealing a mad looking Alice who zeroed in on our joined hands in less than five seconds and started to squeal like mad woman. Talk about multiple personalities.

"I knew it, I fucking knew it," she yelled and gestured for us to come in. "But don't even dare think this lets you off the hook. You both have a lot to makeup for this stunt."

"Yes, we know and we are truly sorry, Alice," Jasper assured. "We promise to make it up to you."

"You talk like you have a choice," Alice chirped, dancing to the living room, where Bella, Seth, Rosalie and Emmett waited for us.

The rest of our warmed up dinner went quite peacefully. Alice, Bella, Jasper and I talked about random things, while the others stared unabashedly at my hand covering Jasper's. I hadn't expected them to keep quiet about our obvious relationship status for so long and judging from Jasper's furrowed brow, he didn't either.

Although Bella didn't surprise me, she's way too polite to address what was shell shocking everyone else and Alice had already declared that she knew it. She would no doubt start meddling at another point.

Emmett had shown the funniest reaction so far, his mouth had opened and closed various times, making him look like a huge fish, until he thought of something to say at last. "Edward, I know that you don't have a problem with Jasper's sexual preferences, like all of us. Don't you think though that people might think you both are a couple if you are holding hands like that?"

"Actually, that thought never entered my mind," I replied dryly, as I felt Jasper shaking from silent laughter next to me. Even Rosalie broke out of her stupor to punch Emmett's shoulder.

"What the hell, Rosie?" he whined.

"Emmett," I intervened. "We _are _a couple." It felt good to say it after months of keeping my feelings for Jasper to myself. I loved him and I wanted to shout it out to the world.

A couple hours and approximately a hundred questions later, Jasper and I took our leave. Again we apologized to Alice, who had thankfully calmed down considerably.

The car ride back to Jasper's place was once more a quite affair; the silence felt comfortable after the hours of chatter with our friends. Jasper seemed lost in thought, a smile playing on his plump lips.

"A penny for your thoughts?" I asked, once I parked the car in front of his house.

Turning to me, he smiled warmly, "I've been thinking about visiting my mom, she should know what's going on. And I thought that maybe I should invite your parents as well, I want to repeat that conversation as less as possible."

"Sounds good, so where is the problem?"

"Would you come along, too?" he questioned shyly. "I'd like to have you there for support and to tell them about the two of us."

Placing my fingers under his chin, I gently pulled his face to mine for a short kiss. "Silly man, like you'd have to ask," I stated, grinning. "I have one condition though."

Jasper raised one eyebrow in question, a sexy trait, before I continued, "Go on a date with me on Tuesday."

"And you call me silly," he chuckled. "Of course, I'd love to, Edward. Where are we going?"

"And you called yourself my best friend for 22 years, shouldn't you know better?"

Leaning into me, with his hand steadying himself on my thigh, he whispered, "Can't blame me for trying, can you?"

I captured his lips in a sweet kiss, while I wondered if he knew what he did to me with his little stunts. My dick seemed to react to the smallest of his touches and while sex with Jasper was phenomenal, I didn't want him to think that it was the only thing I wanted from him. He just made it so hard to control myself.

Breaking our kiss, before either of us could deepen it, I cupped his face in my hands. "As much as I'd like to continue this, baby, I think you should catch up on the sleep you missed last night. You want to be on your best for tomorrow's talk with the parents."

"I know you are right, I do. It's just so hard to leave this car without you," he sighed deeply.

"How about a compromise?" I asked. "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning for breakfast. Afterwards, we'll get a couple of movies and have a relaxing afternoon before the dinner. Sound good?"

"Sounds fabulous," Jasper smiled and surprised me by palming me through my jeans. Squeezing gently, he whispered huskily, "Sleep well, darlin'."

And in a matter of seconds he was out of the car and strolling to his house, leaving me stunned in the driver seat of my car. "You damn tease, Jasper Whitlock," I yelled after him, but instead of acknowledging it, he just disappeared behind the door. Taking a couple of minutes to calm myself down again, I made my way home. My head already filled with various ideas for our date in two days.

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**AN:**

**Thanks for your nice reviews and PMs on the last chapter. Let's repeat that, leave me some love. =]**

**I'm sorry I have taken a lil' longer to update than I said but the good news about it is, that I found 2 betas! Huge thanks to JaspersDarkAngel and Browneyedgirl620 who kindly agreed to beta this story. You did an awesome job fixing this up. Sp what are you waiting for people? Go read their stuff and leave them some love!**

**And I've actually written a One short for the "For the love of Jasper" contest, it's on my profile and once again it's slash, what else would I write? =] Check it out. **

**Next two chapters are done and will be up as soon as my betas had a go at them.**

**Love,**

**Sanny**

**P.S.: Alice's ringtone is "That's What Friends Do" from SpongeBob Squarepants. There should be several videos on YouTube for those of you who are interested.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Still not mine. Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM. In the light of recent happenings on FF, I'd like to point out again that this story contains slash and mature content. If you don't like it – Don't read it. Consider yourselves warned. **

**_______________________________**

**EPOV**

At exactly 9:34 AM I put my car into park in Jasper's driveway. I had really tried to give him some more time to sleep in, but my whole body buzzed with excitement at the prospect of seeing Jasper. I felt giddy like a little school girl, meeting her first love, and could do nothing against it.

I had been awake for four hours now and everything I tried to occupy myself with didn't work; my thoughts kept catapulting themselves back to Jasper. Reading, composing, playing the piano or watching TV—nothing had worked

Ringing the bell I waited patiently, not expecting Jasper to be awake already. Lately though, Jasper seemed to be full of surprises and today proved no different, completely dressed and with a breathtaking smile on his face, he opened the door.

"I didn't think you'd be ready to go already," I said, holding out my hand for him to take.

His smile turned rather shy upon hearing my words, but his hand slipped in mine nonetheless. "Yes, I was too excited to sleep any longer and nothing would hold my attention for long."

"I'm glad that I'm not the only one then," I winked at him and pulled him towards my car. "What kind of breakfast shall it be?"

Tapping his chin in a thoughtful manner, he seemed to contemplate what would suit him best on such a wonderful morning. "How do you feel about pancakes? I'd kill for them right now."

"Your wish, my command." Raising our joined hands from the console between the car seats, I brought them to my lips and kissed his knuckles lightly. "IHOP, here we come."

Our morning couldn't have gone any better if we tried. It was filled with lots of chatter and playful banter. "You realize that you order Chocolate Chip Pancakes every time we come here, for as long as I can recall?" I questioned.

"Hey! Don't insult my pancakes, they are the best," he lectured.

In all honesty it was too adorable, but I couldn't let it go without a little teasing. "But how exactly can you tell when you never tried anything else?" I retorted. Cutting a piece of my French toast I stuck my fork out. "Here, try this."

Instead of taking the fork like I had planned, he wrapped his fingers around mine and brought it to his mouth. I'm sure my eyes popped out of my head, my mouth hanging open slightly. Watching the fork slide between his lips, I wished desperately to be that fork.

I'm sure my shell-shocked expression wasn't lost on him but he just went on as if nothing had happened, happily cutting his pancakes. "You know, the toast is heavenly but nothing compared to my pancakes," he explained, popping a piece of pancake in his mouth, moaning around his own fork. "You want to try them?"

"I, uhh…" I started, but the haze in my head canceled every thought I previously had. Shaking my head slightly to clear it, I silently reminded myself that today wasn't about physical things. No matter how hard Jasper made it for me. "No, thank you. Your little performance made it pretty clear."

"Done teasing?" I wondered aloud. "One of these days I'm going to repay you and you won't know what hit you."

"Promise?" he grinned.

"Yes, you big oaf, now finish your pancakes so we can get the movies and hit your couch."

The rest of our breakfast passed without further incident. The banter between us stayed easy and Jasper actually refrained from teasing me into oblivion. But without realizing, he had given me the perfect opening to our date tomorrow. We hadn't specified at what time of the day our date would start and I fully intended on keeping him close tonight, ergo our date could start as early as I wanted.

Our trip to the movie corner was a whole different story though. While Jasper and I shared some movie favorites, not much of our choices overlapped. In the end it had taken us almost forty minutes to agree on two movies. Ironically enough, once we were at home, we watched some random TV show instead of the movies we brought with us. Neither of us was really interested in watching, instead we reveled in being close and soon turned off the TV altogether.

"I wonder…" Jasper said into the silence, anguish filling his eyes. "How are we going to make this work, Edward?"

"You know, there are planes, cell phones and something called the Internet. This won't be forever, we'll work something out within time, I only have one year of school left, too. What has you this worried?"

Closing his eyes, he leaned back and started to talk quietly, "There were definitely nice times in the past year, but Edward, do you even realize how often I was heartbroken because I couldn't be home, close to you? I'm not sure I can handle being apart from you now that we are even closer."

"I've certainly felt no different about you, Jasper. You have to have some faith in us though. It's one of the ways to make it work. Logistics? That we can figure out once it's time," I told him.

He shook his head gently, eyes stilled closed. "I have faith in you, Edward. Me? Not so much. I'm scared to fall apart without you there."

"Baby, look at me," I coerced gently, caressing his cheek. "No matter how far apart, I'll always be there for you. You'll always be the Lucy to my George*. You'll always be my best friend, no matter what the hell happens in the future."

Having this talk with him, again, wasn't easy. I truly hoped that for once he couldn't pick up on my own worries. Yes, there were just as plenty as his, just that I could overplay them a little better. I was scared shitless for the day when he had to leave, knowing what it did to me the last time. I was just as scared as him.

At night my brain worked overtime, searching for a solution. Yet, no matter how I turned it, there was no way around finishing school first. I couldn't speak five Spanish words, let alone a whole sentence.

"Should I be worried that I'm Lucy and she was obviously female?" Jasper attempted a half-hearted joke, before shaking his head about it and continuing, "I know all the reasons, Edward. I just can't shake the bad feelings, I'm scared."

"How about we make a deal?" I proposed. "We enjoy our time together until you have to leave and then we start figuring out where to go from there. Theories won't help us anyway."

"Deal," he accepted, wrapping me in a tight hug. "And I promise to have more faith."

Angling my face so I could kiss him, I quickly pecked those plump lips. "Just try, that's all I'm asking."

Leaning back, he lay us down with my body covering his. "I will."

Laying between Jasper's legs, our feet tangled and my head on his chest, I felt more comfortable than I had in years. His eyes closed, Jasper's fingers stroke absently over my back, drawing delicious shivers from my body. It was nice to just lie there, wrapped up in each other, without having to fill the silence with unnecessary chatter.

***************

At some point I must've fallen asleep, because the next thing I remember is Jasper whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

"Sleep well, darlin'?"

"Mhm, how could I not all tangled up with you?" I asked, my voice still laced with sleep, and watched a beautiful smile light up his whole face.

"Damn right, I don't intend to let you sleep anywhere else but my arms for the remainder of my time in the US," he told me firmly. "And did I ever tell you how sexy you sound when you just woke up?"

Groaning, I wriggled against him. "Let's not start something we can't finish," I warned.

"I know, I know," he amended. "We have to leave now either way. Don't want to be late twice in as many days, right?"

"Come on, then," I sighed and heaved myself off him. I didn't want our alone time to be over just yet, hopefully though there was a lot more quality time to come on our date tomorrow. Grabbing my car keys, I laced my fingers through Jasper's and led him to the car.

As usual, our car ride seemed to be of the silent sort, not that I minded. Jasper seemed lost in thought and I let him sort through everything going on in that pretty head of his. He had enough to explain once he told our parents everything; he deserved the calm before the storm ahead.

Sitting in the car in front of my parent's house, I waited patiently for Jasper to make the first move to leave the car. Looking at him, he seemed incredibly nervous, fidgeting in his seat and his eyes locked on the house.

"Jasper, baby, look at me," I said, my voice adapting a gentle tone. "Your mom and my parents love you, I love you. Nothing you say tonight will change that in the slightest, okay?"

And at last his beautiful blue eyes locked with mine, stealing my breath. "Thanks so much, darlin'. I love you, too," he whispered.

Leaning into him, I kissed his lips tenderly. "Let's get this show on the road, then."

Taking one more deep breath, he murmured an, "I can to this," to himself and finally opened the car door. Standing next to each other in front of the huge oak door, he still looked awfully pale and I truly hoped he'd get over his nerves soon. We had agreed beforehand that we would tell our parents about us after dinner but before he broke his news of becoming a father.

When Esme opened the door, her whole face was lighted up in a huge smile, Maria and Carlisle only two steps behind her. After exchanging hugs and kisses all around, they ushered us directly to the dining room.

"Take a seat, boys, dinner is just about ready," she chirped, always happy to have her home filled with people, and danced back to the kitchen to start serving the food.

Taking a seat next to Jasper, we waited patiently till the table was filled with all kinds of Esme's homemade pizza before we dug in. It must've looked liked we were half starved the way we abandoned our table manners and wolfed down the delicious meal, Maria and Esme had to scold us more than once.

I had problems keeping my hands to myself, I had grown so used to Jasper's touches the past two days, and the food actually was a welcome distraction. The light conversation, filled with questions about things and cities Jasper saw in Spain or the questions about my classes helped in distracting me, too. Occasionally I'd see Esme and Maria trade secret glances, or the twinkle in Carlisle's eyes and by the end of dinner I was sure they only waited for our official statement that we were a couple now.

Once we were all stuffed with pizza and seated on the plush sofas in the living room, Maria served her famous apple pie and fresh brewed coffee. A plate in each of our hands, I nudged Jasper slightly with my foot; it was time he'd open his mouth and told them the reason why we were here.

Nodding slightly, he cleared his throat and finally started to talk, "Actually, we came for dinner because I had to talk about something with you all."

Once the words were out of his mouth, it had a nearly comical effect on our parents. Their eyes shot all at once to me. Shrugging, I nodded my head to Jasper. We had decided that he'd tell them beforehand.

"Alright," he started, taking another deep breath. "Before you freak out, I have two things to tell you. And I want you to listen to both first, and then you can say whatever's on your chest, okay?" Waiting for everyone's nod, he grabbed my hand and continued, "Edward and I are officially a couple now."

Nods all around, urging him to go on.

"I won't talk long around the second matter, there's no good way to tell you this, so I'll say it straight out," he explained. "In Spain I became fast friends with this girl, Alyssa, and it turns out she's almost four months pregnant."

Esme, Carlisle and Maria all looked at each other, obviously clueless as to what to do with this information.

Sighing, Jasper went on, "With my child."

Cue to gasps all around. Under different circumstances it would've been funny to see their faces drain of all color. As it was though, there wasn't a fucking thing funny about this situation. Holding onto Jasper's hand, I rubbed circles across its back, a rather desperate try to calm his nerves a little.

"B-but…" Maria stuttered.

"I know, Mama. Trust me, I damn well do."

"What will you do now?" Carlisle interrupted.

Wrapping an arm around Jasper, I pulled him into my side. Just because I'd promised to let him do the talking, it didn't mean that I wouldn't try to support him. From our parent's faces I could see how worried they were; especially Esme kept shooting nervous glances my way.

"Alyssa doesn't want to come to the states, she wants her family around and I can't really be mad about it. Yet the child is also my responsibility, I helped to create this mess after all," he told them. "In other words, I plan on moving to Spain for the time being."

"Jasper!" Maria cried. "What do you mean, for the time being? Can't we find another solution for this? You can't just move a twelve-hour flight away, there has to be another way."

"Let's be honest, Mama. A child shouldn't grow up without its father and if you look at this rationally, you'd agree with me. "

"But you are my child, Jasper." By now tears were silently streaking down Maria's face as Esme rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"He's right, Maria," Carlisle said quietly, surprising me in not keeping neutral like he usually did. He barely ever poked his nose into other people's businesses, but apparently Jasper was more like a second son to him and he felt the need to say what was on his mind. "Under different circumstances or any other man you would agree with Jasper. You'd want the child to have a father."

"No, no, no…" she denied. "He can't just pack up everything and run off to Spain and abandon his family in the process. What about your relationship with Edward?"

Clearing my throat, I successfully turned her attention to me. "I knew about the situation with Alyssa before we decided to be an item. I have faith in him that he'll do things the right way and that we can make it through this together. We can visit him and he no doubt will visit, too. There's cell phones and the Internet. I love Jasper, and I'm convinced that we'll make it through this," I tried to reason with her. "Don't get me wrong, though, I'm not saying it'll be easy, just that we have to find a way to work around it."

"Thanks, darlin'," Jasper said quietly to me, before he continued a little louder for everyone to hear. "I realize this isn't easy. Maybe I should let you progress this first and we talk again in a day or two. What do you think?"

Nodding her head silently and still wrapped in Esme's arms, Maria seemed to agree. Looking over to Jasper I figured it was time to take our leave for now, he stood up and walked to Maria, kissing her forehead tenderly. His lips moved, but he talked so quietly that I couldn't make out what he said. He lingered for another moment before he turned to Esme, pecking her on the cheek.

I, too, walked over to them, kissing them both gently on their cheeks. Turning to Carlisle, he hugged first Jasper, and then me.

"I'm proud of you, Son. You did the right thing," he whispered, before releasing me.

I mouthed a silent "Thank you," before I slipped my hand into Jasper's and we took our leave.

As soon as we sat in the car, tears ran over Jasper's cheeks. It broke my heart to see him like this. He had handled the situation with our parents so well, I had forgotten for a moment how very hard it was for him. "Come here, baby," I cooed, engulfing him in a hug. "I'm so proud of you, you did well in there."

Tightening his hold on me, he frantically shook his head while sobbing into my neck. "Damn, Edward, were we in the same room? Did you see my mother accusing me of abandoning my family or the fear in Esme's eyes?"

"I did, but I also know that Esme and Carlisle will help her see reason. And I'll be with you along the way, I promise."

"I hate it," he growled, his tears starting to soak my shirt. "I fucking hate to see everyone I love hurt because of me."

"You have to snap out of this," I told him, my voice growing deeper, firmer. "You made a mistake, shit happens. Wake up, this is life and it's not always rainbows and sunshine. Real life means hurt and pain at times, there's nothing wrong about that. But wallowing in self-pity? That's not the Jasper I know.

Pulling back from my arms, Jasper blinked at me. "And here I thought you became a calmer person when I was away," he said, a small smile grazing his features. "Are you ready to take me home and hold me in your arms for the rest of the night?"

I kissed him softly before I replied, "Yes, there's nothing I would rather do."

Arriving at home a couple of minutes later, we did exactly as he had requested. Stripping to our boxer shorts, we both crawled under the covers of his king-sized bed. Our feet tangled and arms tightened around each other, we spent the next couple of hours in silence, enjoying the feel of our naked skin against each other until we fell asleep.

**________________________________**

**AN: **

**Thanks for the amazing reviews and PMs on the last chapter, guys!**

**There are many reasons why this chapter is so late, I won't bore you with any of them – just keep in mind that real life sometimes sneaks up on you and punches you in the face ;o).**

**Thanks to Browneyedgirl620 for taking the time to beta read this! And once my other beta, Jasper's Dark Angel, had a go at this chapter it'll be reposted :o).**

**I hope the next chapter will be up faster – it'll be the big date night (it's written already and I'm really excited about it). Leave me some love!**

**Love,**

**Sanny**

***Lucy and George: This is a reference from "A Room with a View" – Thanks to Zulfiqar for taking the time and finding this reference for me!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, I only borrowed her characters :D. **

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**JPOV**

Waking up to Edward trailing kisses along my neck, combined with the wonderful smell of bacon, eggs and coffee attacking my nose, definitely made it to my personal top three ways of waking up. Squinting against the light streaming into the room, Edward's sharp features came into focus. With his emerald green eyes and sharp, angular face, and the sun filtering in through the huge windows behind him, he looked like he stepped right out of a storybook.

"Good morning, beautiful," he murmured, smiling crookedly at me and letting my heart skip a few beats in the process.

"Always, with you here," I croaked, my voice still scruffy from sleeping.

Leaning in, he chastely kissed my lips before he gestured for me to sit up, pushing a tray filled with the most amazing foods in front of me. There were scrambled eggs with bacon, waffles with whipped cream and strawberries, a bowl with mixed fruit, toast and marmalade, orange juice and the heavenly dark wonder called coffee. Taking inventory on everything on the tray, my eyes came to a Polaroid in one corner of the tray. Picking it up, it was showing bacon laid out in an L-form on my kitchen counter. _What the hell?_

"Edward?" I questioned, holding up to picture for him to see. "What's up with the bacon on my counter?"

His eyes were glinting mischievously, and he was chuckling at what I assume must be my dumbfounded expression. He replied, "For me to know and you to find out. Now, let's dig in."

Well, he didn't have to tell me twice; this breakfast looked amazing. Scooping up a plate of still-warm waffles, I watched him climb back into bed, sitting opposite of me. "So what's in store for today?" I wondered.

"Really, Jasper?" he said, grinning. "Stop trying to get any information out of me, it won't happen. It's 8:30 a.m. now and I planned for us to leave in around an hour. Our whole day is planned out, so you don't need to worry about a thing. Just wear something comfortable."

"Won't I even get the tiniest hint?" I whined.

"No, you won't, you big kid," he replied and kissed the corner of my mouth, humming. "Mm, there was some whipped cream."

Could you believe this guy? He actually called me a tease, but the images on my mind—with Edward licking whipped cream from my body—surely spoke different words. Knowing Edward, though, he had in fact carefully planned out the whole day and I didn't want to ruin anything by teasing him and making us late in turn.

Finishing our fabulous breakfast thirty minutes later, Edward shooed me away when I tried to help him clean up the dishes. Instead, he ordered me to a shower and shaving so we could get going. Happily complying, I erased every body hair I could find and hoping that the extra effort would be appreciated by Edward sometime during the day.

Throwing on my favourite green sweater because it reminded me of Edward's eyes, and a pair of washed-out jeans, I was ready with five minutes to spare. Sneaking into the kitchen, I came to face Edward's back as he leaned with his hands against the kitchen counter, and noticed for the first time today that he was wearing my clothes. Instantly I was hard. Wrapping my arms around him from behind, I whispered softly to him, "Your ass looks fabulous in my jeans. If you hadn't planned out a whole date, I'd keep you prisoner in my house and fuck you into oblivion."

It only resulted in him pressing his ass more firmly against me, and that I could actually hear him swallow didn't help my predicament one bit either. "I'm glad we agree in this, Jasper," he told me, completely calm, like he wasn't a single bit affected by this. "Are you ready for our first destination then?"

"More than ready," I grinned. Regarding surprises, patience had never been a strong suit of mine, this was no exception.

Intertwining our fingers, he led me to his Volvo, where he held out another Polaroid for me. Its background was a soft green, which had me guessing that it was taken at Edward's house. His living room was painted in this color. The only thing seen on it was some kind of handle, standing straight up against the wall.

"What's with all those pictures?" I wondered, again.

"By the end of the day you'll have it figured out, I promise," Edward told me, a small smile playing around his lips. "If you don't, I'll tell you. Deal?"

"Deal," I agreed. I'm a smart guy. I could figure this out, right? Lost in my pondering about the picture and what our destination might be, I was surprised when Edward turned off the car already after such a short ride. Looking up, I couldn't believe it. And that's when it hit me, the handle in the Polaroid was a golf club. _God, I could be so dense sometimes._

"You are a damn genius, darlin'," I exclaimed, my body bouncing with giddiness.

Chuckling, he explained, "I thought it would be nice to go for a round of mini golf, where our fathers used to teach us. I have very fond memories of this place.

"So do I, and I'm glad you thought of it. It makes our first date all the more memorable. Thank you." And I really meant it; he knew me well enough to know how much I treasured every memory of my father. To others, those little details might seem insignificant, but to me they meant the world. They showed how much he truly cared about it. Kissing him quickly, I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the entrance.

"You act exactly like you did back then when we were seven-year-olds," he told me, chuckling. "We've played this course a million times, yet here you are all excited like you are here for the first time."

"And how could I not be? I'm here on a perfectly sunny day, with someone I love after I've had a spectacular breakfast. What else would a guy want?"

"Oh, I could think of a thing or two," he replied with a wink.

"Now, I'm sure you do. First, let's get this show on the road," I urged. And that we did, after Edward had paid for both of us, our first little disagreement since we were an item, the fun could start. Goofing around and trying to impress each other with ridiculous moves, we didn't even bother to take score; our handicap would've been horrendous.

It was all for the fun of it and fun we had tons. Without doubt I hadn't laughed as much in the past weeks than I had in those two hours at the mini golf park. Yet, I was surprised how well Edward dealt with the stares we received for our chaste kisses; he no doubt wasn't used to this kind of attention for showing affection to his significant other half. We were in our own bubble and today nothing could take this away from us.

Two hours later we had finished the eighteenth hole and it was time for the next destination, or so Edward said. I doubted he could actually beat the mini golf but wouldn't dare to say so out loud; besides, I wouldn't put it behind him to come up with even more amazing things for us to do today. After all, he had always been one for big gestures.

"Where's my next picture?" I questioned once we were safely seated in Edward's precious car with our safety belts on. "Or aren't there anymore?"

"There are a couple more, don't worry, honey," he answered, a crooked smile grazing his features as he reversed the car and drove off to the next part of our date. Reaching into the back pocket of his jeans he pulled out another Polaroid and handed it to me. "Here you go."

"Well damn, you don't plan on making it easy for me, huh?" This time the picture simply showed one letter, an O. It seemed to be printed on a wooden sign, leaving me again without a single idea about where we were headed.

The sweetest smile on his face, as if he was innocence personified, he simply lifted our joined hands and kissed my knuckles. A gesture I had come to love in the past days, it was sweet, yet intimate. "Where would the fun be if I'd make it too easy on you?" he asked.

"Right, why not let this poor boy here die of suspense? You're right, it's a way better option," I mumbled.

"Wow, how come you never joined the drama club back in high school? You would've been their number one act," Edward teased. "If you really want to know, I'll tell you, but I'd appreciate it if you would be a little more patient. I also promise that it's worth it and we'll reach our next destination in five minutes. What do you say?"

"That you are my awesome boyfriend and I'll do whatever you wish and stop trying to ruin your surprises by whining," I vowed. "Now hit the gas!"

On second thought, he didn't really need encouragement to speed and true to his word, only five minutes later we pulled into the parking lot of the Woodland Park Zoo. It was another place, where we used to spend a lot of time with our families. Again I had to ask myself how I actually got this wonderful person as my boyfriend

It wasn't even noon yet and still I was sure that today was something that would be hard to top. All the great memories about our youth he brought back, it was the best first date one could ask for. My body was literally vibrating with excitement as we stood in line to pay and again Edward refused to let me pay, insisting that today was his to do as he pleased and that obviously included paying today's expenses.

"Where to first, baby?" he inquired.

"Edward, do you truly think I forgot where we always headed first?" I asked, rolling my eyes at him. "You'd drag us to the mountain lions first thing whenever we came here and I don't plan to change it this time."

Shooting me that beautiful smile of his, he grabbed my hand and literally dragged me off in the direction of the mountain lions. He looked so positively giddy that this time around one would think he was the seven-year-old. Seeing his face light up once he saw his beloved mountain lions was worth it big time though. Remembering our old argument made me laugh out loudly and actually drew Edward's attention from the animals.

"What has you laughing like that?"

"Oh you know," I said between chuckles. "I still like the black panthers better." And it was true, I didn't just say it to annoy him, their sleek black frame with the vibrant yellow green eyes and the way they moved, simply fascinated me. I was intrigued by the fact that most of them were leopards or jaguars which suffered from melanism.*

"Oh no," he scowled. "We are not going to have this argument. We have to agree to disagree."

I grinned, he just knew that I would never agree with him and he couldn't stand it. It was his vain attempt to make him look less stubborn, although I saw right through him and he must know it. "Sure, darlin'."

"You sound so very convincing, I'm floored," he told me. "Come on, let's take a look at your precious black panthers, what do you think?"

"It's a plan," I agreed and off we went. Our route was still the same as all those years ago. Once we were done with the feline house, we made our way to the day exhibit where most of the reptiles were kept. We still had our fun pointing out the well-camouflaged animals and even had the luck to see a boa constrictor which we usually rarely see.

After the reptiles, we went to the Temperate Forest where I, much to Edward's amusement, totally fell in love with the red pandas. I couldn't help it; they were just the cutest little things and almost rivaled my love for the black panthers. By then we had been walking around for almost three hours and my feet slowly but surely started to protest. I was more than ready for a little break.

Stopping mid-walk, I pulled Edward close to me and wrapped my arms around him. I couldn't thank him enough for how much I liked all he had planned. Kissing him lightly, I spoke against his lips, "It's been such a great day already, and I won't even dare to guess what else you got up your sleeve, but know how much I love you and thank you for this."

"You are more than welcome, baby," he whispered back. "Are you ready then for the next place? I promise it won't include walking."

"I'd follow you to the other side of the world, so lead the way."

Another thirty minutes of walking later, we finally reached the car and I was glad to sit down for a little. Seeing the content look on Edward's, though, was well worth the little pains that came along with all the walking we did today, and he had already promised that the next activity wouldn't include more of it.

"Our next destination I chose so we could relax for a little," he explained. Tucking another Polaroid from the car's driver side, he held it out to me. "Here's your next clue."

Looking at it, a loud laugh bubbled from my throat. There was no way in hell I wouldn't recognize this. On the picture was the U from the distinct green and white Starbucks logo, something I would instantly recognize with my addiction for their frappuccino. "Thank God, Edward," I sighed. "It's about time I get my coffee fix."

"I thought so," he chuckled. "And I would've been seriously worried if you hadn't gotten this clue."

"You are one in million and my love for you just increased tenfold."

"I didn't have you pegged as buy-able, but I'll tuck that little information away for later reference," he grinned.

"Sure, whatever. Just get me to Starbucks," I retorted. Lucky enough, we didn't get into the rush hour and reached Starbucks faster than I would've thought, though a lot of credit went towards Edward's habit of driving like a maniac.

Reaching the counter, he didn't even bother to ask me what I'd like, he simply ordered my beloved frappuccino, a white mocha for him and two blueberry muffins. Seating ourselves in a quiet corner, opposite of each other, we quietly ate our muffins. I had reached my point of exhaustion by now and hoped it would recede again once I've had some rest.

Sipping my frappuccino leisurely, my eyes fell on Edward's hands fidgeting with another Polaroid. He was careful to keep it's backside to me though. "You gonna give me that or are you going to change your mind and end our date right here because it was so terrible?" I teased.

"Like any time spent with you could ever be terrible," he vowed. "I'm just trying to imagine your reaction to this."

"Stop spiking my curiosity and give me the damn picture," I demanded, in afterthought I added, "please." Couldn't have me being rude on a date; my mama taught me better manners than that.

Without another word he dropped the picture on the table, front first so I couldn't even sneak in a glance, and ever so slowly slid it towards me. Losing my patience, I simply pried it from his fingers. Staring at it, my brain tried to form some kind of reply towards the picture I now held in my hands.

"Those are barbells arranged in an E," I said, oh so eloquently. They were the straight kind, often used for tongue piercing and my brain almost overheated, thinking of all the possibilities this picture could mean.

"I'm aware, Jasper. I wondered if you remembered when we had our tongues pierced right after graduation."

"How could I ever forget that little episode? I thought our parents would kill us. Esme and my mom were in hysterics. Will, my father, looked like he might explode any minute, his face was that red. And Carlisle, true to himself, simply stayed silent through the whole exchange."

With his beautiful smirk in place, Edward replied, "Yes, I remember. Afterwards, they forced us to take them out and even though we were technically adults, we still complied."

Yes, we had and never even attempted getting another piercing done, no matter how much we both liked them. Why he brought it up now was a mystery to me, but I know him well enough and he wouldn't just hand me the picture without a purpose behind it. All the Polaroids he'd given me had led to some location, so I could only assume this one would, too.

"You aren't planning on someone sticking needles through our skin, do you?" I asked tentatively.

"Actually I did," he confirmed. "I walked past this piercing studio some time ago and remembered said escapade after graduation. And if you don't want to get one done, that'll be fine, I just hope you won't mind waiting for me until I have mine."

I couldn't help it but stare at him in amazement. Alone, the mention of a piece of steel penetrating his smooth skin, made my pants feel uncomfortably tight. "What part of this delicious body do you plan on getting pierced?"

"I won't be telling you, you have to wait till it's done and then eventually, if you show me that you really want to know, you might get to see it. And you better make up your mind about your own soon, 'cause my time plan says we are headed towards the piercing parlor right about now," he winked, a dangerous glint in his eyes that I knew only too well. Needless to say, that I willingly followed him after I had adjusted my still too tight pants.

My reaction of a) having someone run a needle through a part of my body, b) the chiding from our parents all those years ago, which I still remember all too well, or c) a piece of gleaming steel decorating Edward's delicious body, I didn't know.

Not that it mattered in the least; Edward had already walked inside, oozing confidence. Gathering all my nerves, I finally opened the door to follow him and not a second too early. Upon hearing my arrival he looked up at me, a smirk gracing in his beautiful features before he continued to whisper something into the heavily pierced ears of the girl behind the counter.

The glint in his eyes could only be described as mischievous and went directly back to my pants, where my just-calmed erection sprang to life anew. Wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into, I strode idly to the counters that displayed various piercings in a quite desperate attempt to reign in my nerves.

Edward knew very well how much appeal piercings and tattoos held to me and I could only assume that it was exactly the reason why we were standing in a Piercing & Tattoo parlor at the moment. I had to give him credit though; beyond all the nervousness I was giddy, excited, and already contemplating what kind of piercing I should get.

Winking at me, Edward followed the lead of the girl to one of the backrooms and left me to fend for myself. Looking at the pictures, all of them displaying various piercings and tattoos decorating the walls, I directly decided against something that would be visible to everyone. And I even admit that our parents' reaction had a little to do with it.

Mainly though I knew that I wasn't the only with an attraction to this specific kind of body decoration. I wanted it to be something that Edward could discover once we had the privacy of either his or my house. The thoughts of having my tongue or even penis pierced definitely intrigued me, yet it would rule out any physical activities for the time being, especially if my choice would be the latter.

Instead of breaking my brain over this, I walked to the counter, now occupied by a scary looking guy, completely covered in ink. He resembled a walking piece of art, but even for my taste it was a little too much. I told him that I decided to have both of my nipples pierced and chose two rather simple looking titan rings, each decorated with a little titan ball.

Leading me to another of the backrooms, he told me to take off my shirt and get comfortable on the stool in one of the corners. Sitting down in the chair, which, oddly enough, felt like I was sitting at the dentist, I watched how he prepared his tools. Putting on a pair of latex gloves, he disinfected the cannula, a sturdy looking needle, the rings I had chosen, and put them on a small tray together with some kind of spray dose, ice spray I assumed.

Placing the tray on a little holder next to my head, he towered over me. "Last chance to change your mind, kid," he told me, a toothy smile firmly in place.

"No way, let's do this."

Luckily the guy worked quickly. After disinfecting my chest and letting the ice spray numb it, he didn't even leave me time to catch my breath before he pierced my nipples in fast succession. Handing me a little hand mirror to check his work, he explained about the aftercare, handed me a small tube of cream to apply after showers, and put two band-Aids over the shiny rings. He explained that I, too, should do this for the first couple of days to avoid any tearing while they hadn't started to heal.

Once the guy led me back to the front of the shop, I tried to pay, but Edward had already made sure that everything was taken care of. With no other choice but to wait for him to emerge from the backroom, I sat down on the plush, black sofa and looked through some kind of tattoo magazine in a vain attempt to keep my mind from wandering to the, no doubt, delicious addition to his body.

Almost one hour after we had arrived, Edward reappeared at last. I carefully scanned every visible inch of his skin, yet I couldn't detect the smallest change, even his face showed off a completely blank expression. When his eyes stumbled upon mine, he returned the favor, scanning my body from head to toe for any changes. While I very well knew he didn't find any changes either, I couldn't help but fidget under his firm gaze, one look from those piercing green eyes was enough to reduce me to a puddle of goo.

Once he wrapped things up at the counter and held a hand out to me, which I gladly accepted. Lacing our fingers, we walked back to Edward's car in silence. Both of us obviously too stubborn to ask about the piercing, knowing full well neither would tell. Reaching the car, Edward finally broke the silence.

"Are you ready for our next location?"

* * *

*** Melanism = the occurrence of an increased amount of dark pigmentation, in other words the equivalent of albinism.**

**AN: **

**Yes, I broke the chapter in two and there's one simple reason for it, I'm a little OCD when it comes to the symmetry of things and this chapter got ridiculously long, so I split it. The second half will be posted in a day or two – once I had a chance to overlook it again myself.**

**Thanks to Browneyedgirl620 for beta reading, I know you are busy and truly appreciate it. Last but not least, all places mentioned are real places in Seattle, although I've never been there and the car rides would probably take longer.**

**Let me know what you liked and what you think I should make better, please, and leave me some love!**

**Sanny**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: Like always nothing Twilight-related belongs to me, credit goes to SM.**

**AN1: Two small things: I got a new One Shot up for the Slash Backslash contest, check it out if you want to and there's also a new chapter of **_**Teach us, Mr. Whitlock**_**, just as info for the ones of you who read it but don't have it alerted :o).**

**Previously: **

_Once he wrapped things up at the counter and held a hand out to me, which I gladly accepted. Lacing our fingers we walked back to Edward's car in silence. Both of us obviously to stubborn to ask about the piercing, knowing full well neither would tell. Reaching the car, Edward finally broke the silence. _

"_Are you ready for our next location?" _

* * *

**JPOV**

"Always, where are we off to?" I asked as nonchalantly as possible.

He didn't even bother to acknowledge my very plain attempt to get some kind of information and simply handed me the next picture. My first thought upon seeing it definitely was, "What the hell, only Edward arranges leaves." But then I actually figured out that the leaves were arranged to display a V. They ranged from yellow over red to green and I wondered what kind of trees he scouted out to find all these different colors.

Slipping the picture into the back pocket of my jeans to the others, I kept pondering where we could go. A variety of parks came to my mind but I doubted that he'd find so many different colored leaves there around this time of the year.

Once the car stopped and I saw where Edward had driven us, I could've slapped myself for my stupidity. Of course he'd bring me to the Japanese garden; it was a place from our childhood, too. Esme and Maria brought us here frequently after the mini gold excursus. Needless to say that it wasn't the most interesting place for small boys, yet I couldn't argue the beauty of the park now that I was an adult.

It was filled with a million colours, each more intense than the other and so many different kinds of flowers and bushes that one couldn't decide where to look first. Every now and then there were small ponds or little rivers, and I knew that once the sun would set and the hidden lights would go on, this place looked like it was taken right out of a fairytale.

"It'll forever be a mystery to me how you remembered all these things and combined them for today, darlin'," I sighed contently. "I only wish I had my camera."

"Do you now?" Edward questioned with a huge grin on his face as he opened the trunk and handed me my camera.

"Could you be any more perfect?" I asked after kissing him in thanks.

Combing a strand of hair out of my face, Edward's fingertips traced along my cheek, a crooked grin firmly in place, "I'm far from perfect, but I appreciate the sentiment, babe. Walk with me?"

"Always," I assured, clasping our hands together. And even while my inner voice chided me for being so incredibly cheesy, I couldn't help but enjoy every second of it.

Opting for a slow pace, we walked a random path through the park, silently enjoying each other's company. But before too long, the sun started to set, giving the whole park a beautiful orange hue. The photographer in me turned into a giddy five-year-old kid as I started to capture picture after picture, sneaking in one of Edward every once in a while. The small smile on his face told me that he didn't mind, and when twilight rolled around, I saw Edward crouching close to a small river. It was the perfect shot, the faraway look in his eyes as he smiled contently with this beautiful background; I couldn't believe how lucky I got snatching that man for myself. Not only that he was my boyfriend—no, he also loved me as much as I loved him.

Following his lead through the park, I was speechless when we reached a clearing close to a small pond. There was a table with two chairs in the middle of all the colourful flowers and under a pink blooming cherry tree. The hidden lights bathed the place in a soft glow as the darkness around us set. I wasn't sure if my eyes were playing a trick on me.

"Edward, how did you do all of this?" I asked when he pulled out one of the chairs for me.

"A couple of favours and some help," he replied, pulling a big black box from under the table. Opening it, the most wonderful smell hit me as I watched him pull out a basket with garlic bread, two covered plates, and bottle of white wine.

As if in a trance, I watched him place everything on the table, filling each glass with the wine, and lifting the lids from the plates to reveal a delicious looking lasagne, before sitting down opposite of me. "I don't know what to say, Edward," I murmured.

"Don't say anything, then," he said simply. "Just enjoy our meal."

"I do, more than I can express in words, and not only the meal, all of today," I told him while cutting off a piece of the heavenly looking lasagne, it tasted even better than it looked, as did the garlic bread.

"Is this the last place we'll visit?" I wondered once I cleared my mouth, but upon on seeing his expression I continued, "Come on, it's not like I could guess anything if you tell me there's more or not."

"True," he grinned. "Two more places after we finish our dinner, but we have time if you want to take more pictures now that it's dark."

"Nope, that's fine. We'll just have to come back sometime and you'll be modeling for me," I winked.

"I'd be fonder of modeling for you in your bedroom," he winked back and handed me another Polaroid.

It showed a Y on a rather weird background. I definitely knew that I had seen it before, yet I couldn't recall where exactly I saw it. I hoped the last two activities wouldn't take up all night because watching him slide the fork into his plump mouth had me rock hard for the third time today. I needed some kind of release and I hoped to show him just how much I appreciated all his efforts.

Our conversation while eating was simply comfortable, there was no other way to describe it. We chatted about random things, like books we recently read, art and movies we wanted to see. Our banter stayed playful, and it felt good to have such a light conversation after all the hard ones we had in the past days.

Before I knew it, we had both cleared our plates completely and according to Edward it was time to move on, our conversation never ceased though. All throughout the car ride, Edward told me about his newest additions to his music collection, and his newest compositions, the pride in his voice couldn't be overheard. Like usually when he talked about music, his face was alight with happiness. He told me that he decided to take the teaching route since he could always compose in his free time; it was the only way he could combine two of the things he envisioned for his future. To me, it sounded like he made the right choice, no matter what he decided, as long as his face glowed like this it would always be the right choice.

When the car slowed and I saw where we were headed, I couldn't hold in the laughs He had driven us to the Drive-In Movies in Seattle, where we both had our first date at the age of sixteen. Only thinking about Jessica and Lauren, our dates back then, gave me a slight headache. They were both bleached blonde, and had this nasal voice that had driven me nuts. Most of the evening had been spent putting distance between Lauren and I in the backseat while watching Edward having the same troubles in the front with Jess, nonetheless we had received our first kisses that evening. They were even showing the same black and white movie we saw back then: _Bringing Up, Baby_.

Grasping my hand and kissing my knuckles, Edward asked, "I thought we might be able to replace the memories of a disastrous first date with new memories, hopefully better ones, what do you think?"

Pulling his face close to mine, I let my lips hover inches away from his before I murmured, "I think we should sit in the backseat and make out like horny teenagers."

"Best idea I've heard in a while," he breathed against my lips before he pecked them lightly.

Opening my car door, I saw that there weren't many people here and most of them were closer to the screen; Edward had parked a good distance in the back of the parking spaces. Perfect. Not one to waste much time, I crawled onto the backseat, Edward following suit from the other side of the car. Closing the distance between us, I engulfed him in an open-mouthed kiss, putting as much heat into it as I could muster while my hands wandered to his bronze locks, tugging on them lightly.

Groaning against my lips, Edward pulled away and panted, "The movie hasn't even started."

"Fuck the movie," I grinned, pulling his head right back to mine. Nibbling gently on his lower lip, he didn't waste another second to kiss me back with as much fervor. His hands slipped around my neck to pull me closer, while mine did the best to grope him through his clothes. Palming him through his jeans, I started to massage him lightly, while our tongues danced together. I felt like a teenager again, sitting in the backseat of his car and making out with him and couldn't deny the attraction it held that there were other people close by. While I knew that they couldn't actually see us—it was too dark and the next car was too far away—but just the possibility was enough. Who knew I'd find my exhibitionistic streak once I started dating Edward?

The next time we broke apart, it was to catch our breath. We were both panting by now, yet I couldn't keep my lips away from his skin. Starting on his collarbone, I left open-mouthed kisses along his throat to his Adam's apple, sucking lightly on it until I continued my path of kisses to his ear. Sucking his earlobe into my mouth, I felt him shudder underneath me, his panting breaths hot against my neck.

"I want to suck you off, darlin'," I whispered as I heard his breath hitch. "I want your hard cock in my mouth, devouring every bit of you until you yell for release."

"Jasper," he moaned while my hands were already fumbling with the button and zipper on his pants, eager to free his dick from its confinement. Lifting his hips, he let me slide his jeans down, so I could see his cock straining against the thin fabric of his boxer shorts. Licking my lips, I saw Edward's gaze transfixed on my mouth, the longing in his eyes clearly visible. I didn't know if it was a reaction to my words or actions, maybe both, but couldn't help feeling a little smug about the obvious impact I had on him.

Dragging my lips over the rough stubble on his chin, I reached his mouth to engage him in another heated kiss, all the while my right hand found its way into his boxer shorts. Rubbing the tip of his erection between my thumb and forefinger drew another delicious groan from his mouth, a sound deep from his throat and so damn sexy.

I wished I could strip him naked and have my wicked way with him right now, but that was probably too much for a public place, so I resorted to the next best thing. Licking down his neck, I let my head rest there for a moment to catch my breath before I leaned down to his lap. Pulling his boxers down, his cock sprang free, standing proudly. "Mm, so hard for me, baby," I murmured, after licking his dick from balls to shaft.

Wrapping my lips around him, his hands started to fist in my hair and his hips bucked into my mouth until he hit the back of my throat. One of my hands pushed up the hem of his shirt, raking my nails over his perfectly built abdomen. The other massaged his balls lightly, tugging every once in a while as my head bobbed up and down on his cock.

It didn't take very long until his body writhed and jerked underneath me, and I doubled my efforts to bring him the release he seemed to seek out so desperately by now. The twitching increased and I was aware that it would be only a matter of seconds now, but before I could finish that thought Edward growled loudly, releasing in my mouth.

Swallowing every drop, I cleaned him up nicely and tucked him back in, even pulled his jeans up and buttoned them. When I looked at him, his head was resting against the seat, his eyes still tightly closed and his breath not yet completely evened out. It was a sight to behold: his hair stood every which way and his face didn't hold a single line of worry anymore. He was totally relaxed and I was proud that it was something I had achieved, it didn't even matter that my own cock was almost painfully hard at this point. I could wait until later.

Edward's arms wrapped around me and broke me from the haze of my thoughts. Opening his eyes, his green gaze locked with mine for a moment until he kissed me sweetly. "Thank you, babe," he said quietly against my lips.

"My pleasure," I murmured. "And I'm certainly not done yet for today."

"Good," he breathed. "How about we ditch the rest of the movie and move on to our last location?"

"As much as I enjoyed being here, and I did immensely so," I told him. "I like the idea of a bed in the near future much better. Now give me the next picture."

"So demanding," he muttered and handed me the picture.

"And you obviously enjoy it," I winked. Taking a closer look at the Polaroid, I wasn't a hundred percent sure, but it looked like a part of a tattoo. Again there was a letter, this time an O, surrounded by little music notes and staves. "We aren't going back to the tattoo parlor, are we?"

"No worries, it's something else entirely," Edward chuckled. "Let's get back to the front seats and we can take off."

Doing as he suggested, we slipped back into the front seats and turning to me, Edward said, "I'm going to blindfold you, or else you'll guess where we are headed too soon. Turn around, please?"

Shrugging, I complied and waited patiently until he finished tying a scarf around my eyes. Shoving the picture into the back pocket of my jeans to the others, I wondered if we might go to a club or maybe a concert. The music notes didn't leave much doubt that there would be music, but the rest of the photo could be interpreted in a lot of ways. That he thought I might figure it out the next place too early made me suspicious, too. It meant that I knew the place, though hadn't I technically known all of our locations today?

"We'll be there in less than five minutes," Edward interrupted my musings. "Please keep on the blindfold; I'll help you out of the car."

"How are the chances you'll molest me while I can't see a thing?" I teased, but as soon as I finished the sentence it stroked me how much I'd actually like that. Edward's hearty chuckle was the only answer I got though and, nonetheless, I decided to keep this idea stored for sometime soon. He might just like some light bondage and I couldn't deny the appeal of having Edward bound to let me do with him as I pleased, or even the other way around.

"Alright, here we are," Edward announced. "I need to check on something really fast. You stay seated and I'll get you in a minute."

"Sure, darlin'." I strained my ears to pick up on any sounds that could possibly tell me where we were, but no such luck. Everything was eerily quiet and just as I started to wonder why Edward took so long, my car door opened.

"Here, take my hand," Edward's smooth voice instructed. "And take care of your head while getting out of the car. Wouldn't want to hurt that pretty face, would we?"

"Says the guy who can actually see where he walks," I muttered. Thankfully Edward's hand helped me out of the car and guided me carefully until he sat me down somewhere, and I even made it without hurting myself.

"Alright," he said, shuffling around until he sat next to me. "You may take it off."

Complying, I easily untied the scarf and waited for my eyes to adjust. We were sitting right in front of Edward's piano with the full moon shining brightly right outside the window, its pale light illuminating the room and without further comment he started to play. It was a hauntingly beautiful melody, and to my surprise, I recognized it as the piece he played on the evening of our confessions about our mutual feelings. Edward's eyes were closed; he didn't need to see the keys to play what his heart told him to. He didn't even need to tell me, I knew the song was about us, our very own story in music notes.

Once the realization had hit me, it was hard to sit still beside him. I wanted to hug him, kiss him, thank him, make love to him, and tell him how much I loved him over and over again. Even when he finished the song his eyes stayed closed for another couple of moments until his eyes snapped to mine. They were alight with happiness, just as surely mine were the blue mirror image.

"Will you please give me all the photos I gave you today?" he asked politely, confusing the hell out of me, but then again, who was I to question this man's genius mind?

Taking them from me, he stood up and started to line the pictures on the piano. Once he was satisfied, he crooked his finger towards me, silently asking me to join him. Standing up, I stepped up behind him, slinging my arms around his waist and looking over his shoulder. Fucking hell, how could I be so damn blind and stupid? After Edward arranged the pictures, the letters on them spelled, "I love you," and I had not once today entertained the thought that the letters might mean anything other than be a pointer to the places we went.

Turning in my arms to face me, Edward whispered quietly, "I wanted today, our first date, to be something that you'd always remember. I wanted you to have at least a small visual reminder." Leaning back a little he grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulled it over his head and continued, "The last picture is the only one you haven't seen in its real form yet, but I'm about to change that."

I caught a glimpse of a band-aid across his left nipple, knowing it was the piercing he had gotten today, but then he turned his back to me and a loud gasp escaped me. He must've taken another band-aid off his back when he was in here alone earlier because there, in the center of his upper back was a tattoo, the words, "il mio cantante," were written in elegantly swung lines, staves and notes swirling around them; it was a part of this tattoo on the last Polaroid. The black ink looked so incredibly hot against his milky white skin, it was almost surreal. The words, I assumed, were Italian, a language Edward spoke fluently and liked quite a lot, just like its country.

His back still to me, he continued quietly, "When I sat down at the piano in the last months and played my own compositions, I came to realize one thing: most of them hold a streak of you. In our years of friendship, you inspired more than one melody in me and even now, that my feelings towards you changed, you still are my inspiration, each and every one of those feelings, good and bad, are anchored in those songs. My love to you, and the love you return, sings to me. That's what makes you my singer, il mio cantante."

Wrapping my arms around him from behind, careful to avoid the freshly tattooed skin, I murmured, "Today was a day of many words and big gestures; you've simply stunned me speechless, darlin'. There are no words to tell you how much it all meant to me, but there's one more thing I wish to remember when I think about today." pausing, I gently turned Edward to face me and asked him softly, "Will you make love to me?"

Without hesitation he claimed my lips, and from this moment on, no more words were needed. The kiss was slow and sensual, so very unlike everything else we experienced in our previous encounters. When our former physical encounters were often driven by pure physical need, accompanied by clumsy actions in our haste to feel each other, today was different. Tonight was about showing our love.

Our touches were slower, more deliberate, as we took our time to take off each other's clothes. The passionate kisses never ceased, not even while Edward guided me to the bedroom, his hands never leaving my body, every inch of skin worshiped. Laying us down on the bed, it was all that happened for a long time, passionate kissing and touching.

Even once Edward slipped gently into me, his thrusts remained controlled and every once in a while he halted his movements completely to shower my face with butterfly kisses; we had found another way to show our love without words until Edward collapsed on top of me after our mutual releases.

Locking my arms around him, I held him to me, whispering sweet nothings in his ear till exhaustion overcame us. When dawn came, we were asleep tightly wrapped around each other and utterly spend after one of the best days in history.

* * *

*** il mio cantante = My singer, the male equivalent to la tua cantante. **

**AN 2 (important!): **

**Here you go! The second part of the date night. This chapter meant a lot to me and I hope I could carry over the emotions as it was meant to be. Again, the Japanese garden is a real place in Seattle, quite beautiful, google it up :o). A link to the tattoo will be posted on my profile!**

**Before I forget it, my internet will be gone between 1 and 4 weeks, so I apologize in advance if it takes longer till the next chapter is posted, but I promise it'll be the first thing I do once I have the internet back!**

**Once more a huge thanks to Browneyedgirl620 for beta'ing, go leave her some love. Let me know what you think, good and bad – constructive criticism is always a good thing!**

**Love,**

**Sanny**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight belongs to SM – like always. I only play with her characters.**

* * *

**EPOV**

Waking up in Jasper's arms the morning after our date was pure bliss. Yesterday had been planned out so carefully that it brought me immense joy to see Jasper enjoying himself so much. The worry that had always been a constant in the past weeks, finally fell off of him and it was worth every second I had spent obsessing over yesterday's plans. Yet, I already knew it wouldn't last long; today we'd met the rest of the gang for brunch. Jasper wanted to tell them about the new developments in his life and would have to face a shit-load of questions.

Checking the clock on my bedside table, it was 9AM, enough time to spare, and let him sleep a little bit longer; he could use it. Extracting myself gently from his arms, I quietly sneaked out of bed to take a fast shower, brush my teeth, and shave. Once I was done, I put on my boxer shorts and made my way back to the bedroom to see Jasper still asleep. Crawling back into bed and leaning on my elbow, I watched the heavenly creature in front of me sleep peacefully. His blond locks were heavily tousled, no doubt from last night's activities, his mouth slightly open. My fingers itched to touch him, to trace to sharp features on his face.

Time seemed to fly as I silently lay there, watching him, and only when it was time to wake him up, I no longer denied my hands to do what they longed for. Lightly my fingers fluttered over the planes of his face, tracing his straight nose over the prominent cheekbones down to his plump, kissable lips. The small smile appearing on his lips intensified my heartbeat times ten. Leaning down, I brushed my lips across his throat, smiling at the content sound that escaped his lips.

"Time to wake up, baby," I whispered against his skin.

"Mmm," he purred, his voice still thick with sleep. "Five minutes more."

"Sure, take all the time you need. Just keep in mind that Alice will have our heads if we are late again this time," I teased.

"Damn lil' slave driver," he muttered under his breath, causing a loud laugh to erupt from my chest.

For what it's all worth, it was true, but it was the Alice we all knew and loved. Jasper, too, knew this as he grudgingly rolled out of bed, and made his way towards the bathroom to take a shower. Chuckling to myself over his grudge to wake up, I decided to brew coffee for him. It might just raise his mood, though I knew better than to take offense; he was only worried what brunch would bring. After starting the coffee machine, I went to get dressed. As I stood in front of my closet contemplating what to wear, Jasper crept up behind me. Engulfing me in his arms, the naked skin of his heated chest pressed tightly against my back. My body reacted instantly.

"Jasper," I warned. "Let's not start something we can't finish."

Sighing into the skin of my neck, he whispered," I just wanted to thank you again for last night, and ask if you need help to bandage the tattoo."

"Yes, please. Just let me get the salve from the living room," I told him.

When I reentered the bedroom, Jasper was already fully dressed, in my clothes I might add. Sitting on the bed, he spread his legs and motioned for me to sit between them. Doing as he asked, I silently sat down, not quite able to hide the reaction my body had shown to him in my clothes. His hands were pleasantly warm as he softly rubbed the salve over my back, covering the whole area of the tattoo, before massaging my neck and shoulder area for a little while and finishing off with small kisses over every part of my back he could reach before he bandaged the inked area.

"Thanks, baby," I said, twisting so I could peck his lips quickly. "There's freshly brewed coffee in the kitchen, I'll just get dressed, and we can be on our way."

"I always knew there was a reason why I loved you," he joked and sauntered off in the direction of the kitchen.

Not twenty minutes later we were on our way to the restaurant, and even made it there with ten minutes to spare. The hostess graciously guided us to the table, all the while not quite able to hide the scowl fixed on our joined hands. Shaking it off, I greeted Bella, Seth and Alice, who were already seated at a huge round table. Now only Emmett and Rosalie were missing.

"How are you boys doing?" Alice asked, her tiny frame vibrating with excitement.

Rolling my eyes at her try at subtlety, I answered, "Ask already, I know you want to."

"It was the best date ever," Jasper gushed, knowing Alice well enough to guess what she wanted to hear. "So many joyful memories of my childhood were revived and just wait 'til you see the tattoo Edward had done."

Alice eyes grew slightly at the latter part of his sentence, making me wince in anticipation of what was to come. You simply didn't involve the pixie in planning things, but hide part of the event from her. And promptly she demanded, "Why didn't I know about this part, Edward? Did you hold out on me?"

"Uhh," I said, trying hard to keep a straight face to her dramatics, "I didn't plan it. It was impulsive?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper raising one eyebrow at me in question. We both knew very well that it wasn't impulsive, but Alice didn't have to know. With the slightest shake of my head I indicated for him to stay silent about it, hoping he got my hint.

Whipping out his cell phone, Jasper held it out for Alice, who of course didn't hesitate one bit before grabbing it. Leaning into her I saw that it was a picture he'd taken this morning, when I was looking for something to wear, sneaky bastard.

"It looks gorgeous, Edward," Bella commented from Alice's other side as I smiled at her in thanks.

Thankfully Emmett and Rosalie walked in, distracting Alice enough to forget that I didn't tell her about the tattoo, at least for now. Once they were seated and the waiter had taken our orders, Jasper told our friends about the changes in his life. Like always, when he talked about Alyssa's pregnancy, his whole body was tensed, his knee bouncing nervously. Taking his hand in mine to show him silent support while he explained, he shot me a quick, thankful smile.

Needless to say, our friends were in various degrees of shock. Ranging from Alice's excited squeal about buying baby clothes to Emmett's exclamation about Jasper's sexuality, loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear. The rest of brunch they wanted to know every little thing they could think of: how far along Alyssa was, if they knew a gender already, why he moved to Spain instead of moving Alyssa here, what he'd do with his house, on and on the questions went.

"How are you coping with all of it, Edward?" Bella asked out of the blue, as usual the perceptive one. And suddenly six pairs of eyes locked on me, as if our friends just realized that those decisions would affect me now even more than before, their faces were filled with worry and compassion.

"I'll cope," I told them, my voice steady and calm. "He'll come to visit and vice versa. And even with the time differences we should be able to talk on the phone every day, then there's always the internet."

"Yes, we'll work this out," Jasper promised, determination ringing in his voice.

And so the questions continued: did I plan to move, too? Had we already planned when I'd visit him for the first time? The stream of questions continued steadily as Jasper and I did our best to answer as many of them as possible. The further into the talk, the more I realized how much those people around us would be affected from the changes in Jasper's life, too.

Our circle of friends was close, since high school we had known each other and shared many experiences. In the past year, when Jasper was gone, there often occurred awkward silences when all of us sat together and the discussion steered in his direction. The awkwardness would no doubt continue now that he'd miss more than one birthday or holiday to celebrate with us. In my mind, I could already vividly see the pity on their faces at such days, and once again I wished things were differently. Lost in thought, I was startled when everyone started to stand up. Obviously I had missed that everyone decided to leave and come back together for an evening out the coming weekend.

Once we reached Jasper's house, one look at him told me that he seemed to be beyond worried. Inwardly I cursed myself for not paying more attention and drifting off in my own thoughts. And while I still contemplated if I should ask him about it, or give him some space, he asked if there was something wrong with me.

"No, just thinking, babe," I told him. "Why?"

Pulling me to him onto the couch he replied, "You've barely said three sentences in the past two hours."

"I'm sorry," I apologized, kissing him quickly. The last thing on my mind was to make Jasper uncomfortable or worry him. "I have a request though."

"Anything," he answered, kissing my temple. "You should know that by now."

"It's still so surreal," I said, smiling. "You and me as a couple, I mean. A very positive surreal. I was thinking that today we should discuss what else your move put on our minds, and after that we should forget about it as best as possible. I want to enjoy the remainder of my time with you here. What do you think?"

"It's a good idea. You want to go first since you brought it up?" Upon my nod, he continued, "What had you so deep in thought back at the restaurant?"

"It's not such a big thing, really."

"Edward, didn't we learn how miscommunication, or in our case, no communication at all, ends?" Jasper asked, his fingers running through my hair.

I couldn't deny his statement, it was the simple truth. Sighing heavily, I spilled, "I was thinking about the awkward pauses it will create when you'll be missing holidays or birthday celebrations, the way everyone will pity me."

Stilling his hands, he, too, sighed. "I can't promise to be here for every birthday party or every holiday, Edward. But I promise you that I'll try my best to spend as many of them as possible with you, be it here or in Spain."

"Don't you think I know that? I can't seem to help myself; it keeps taking over my mind, making me feel like a goddamn, whiney five-year-old. Contrary to the obviously common beliefs, I don't exactly enjoy being the moody, brooding type," I told him irritably. "I know that I might be over thinking things, so please bear with me."

"There's nothing I'd rather do, darlin'," he murmured, pressing me to his chest tightly. "I've known you all my life and the traits you just spoke about have been a part of your personality since I can remember. They make you you, the person I love."

"Thanks for reassuring me, but I know there's something else on your mind you won't tell me. Don't you think you should?" I asked. I had known him long enough to realize when he was hiding something from me, no words needed. The way he stiffened under me was just further sign that I was right. "Didn't we just agree that miscommunication is our worst enemy?"

"Yes, yes we did. I just…" he started, before he stopped mid-sentence, seemingly searching for the right words.

Twisting in his arms to face him, I saw the worry in his eyes as plain as the frustration the rest of his face showed. Weaving my fingers through his hair, I pulled him closer to me, saying, "You know that you can talk to me about it, no matter what."

"Ever since I've known that I'm gay, this wasn't the future I envisioned," he began quietly. "I never thought I'd be having kids, yet here I am, a couple of months away from being a father."

"Plans change, right?"

"They do, and it scares me shitless just to think about being a dad, being responsible for another human being when I can barely make the right decisions myself. What the hell did I get myself into?"

"Baby, you'll be a wonderful father," I told him sincerely. I wasn't just trying to reassure him; I truly thought he'd be amazing. "You are one of those people who never hesitate to help another, no matter when or where, no questions asked, you are there for the people around you. You always know what to do or say to make someone else feel better, without having to be told. How could you not be an amazing dad?"

"Do you really mean that?"

"Of course I do, why would I lie to you?" I questioned.

"Don't be silly, I know you wouldn't lie to me," he stated. "It just means the world to me that you think I'll do well. Your approval has always been important to me, will always be."

"And you won't have to do it all alone," I pointed out. "Alyssa will be there and her family. From time to time, even one of us."

"True, if I can face the wrath of a pregnant woman, I can also handle a baby," he joked.

"Come on, Alyssa can't be that bad," I said, glad to see that the mood lightened some. "She's only four months pregnant; there'll be harder months when she'll have that huge belly to move around."

"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"Nothing I can think of right now, how about you?"

"Nope," he grinned. "I got way better things on my mind."

"Oh, now what would that be?" I wondered aloud, playing along.

"Mmm," he purred and pulled me to him. "I'll gladly show you."

Nibbling lightly on my lower lip, Jasper's hands slowly sneaked underneath my shirt. His fingertips danced over my abs, teasing my tense muscles that anticipated his touch. With less than two sentences, he had my mind in the gutter, unable to think about anything else but his beautiful body covering mine. Not one for broken promises, his mouth detached from mine long enough to slip the shirt over my head, his own following suit not five seconds later.

His hands flat against my chest, he pushed me down until I lay flattened against the couch, legs spread to give him space to crawl up my body while leaving kisses, licks and bites along the way until he reached my lips. His soft, lush lips pressed against mine in short intervals, never staying long enough to satisfy the need for him. As much as I loved his teasing, it frustrated me endlessly.

Fisting my hands in his blonde curls, I pulled his head to mine, keeping him in place as I growled against his lips, demanding that he kiss me properly. Jasper seemed to get the idea as his lips started to attack mine feverishly, his tongue rubbing against mine, still toying with me, teasing. With him pressed against me so tightly, I could clearly feel his erection pressing against my hipbones, sending another spike of pleasure through my body.

I could've kissed him for hours if I wasn't so fucking impatient to feel more of his skin against mine, the warmth of his chest alone not enough anymore as I longed to feel every inch of him pressed against me, to have a part of him inside of me. One of my hands moved, seemingly on its own accord, between us, teasing the smooth skin of his abdomen. Slipping two fingers between the waistband of his jeans, I managed to pop the button with my thumb. Sliding down the zipper, I cupped his cock through his boxer shorts causing his hips to buck into my hand and eliciting a throaty moan from him.

Drawing my hand away from its sacred place, Jasper groaned; for once he was the frustrated one, and I couldn't help but feel a little smug about that. "Patience is a virtue, cowboy," I breathed against his ear.

"Fuck virtues," he all but growled at me, his eyes glazed over with lust. Rolling off me, he grabbed my hands and all but dragged me to the bedroom. "Stand against the wall, face towards it and hands placed on it."

What the hell? Not that I complained, my cock was twitching impatiently, discovering this new side of Jasper. Doing as told, I assumed the position, straining my ears to pick up sounds that would tell me what he was up to. Hearing a drawer close, I silently prayed that he retrieved condoms because I couldn't wait much longer to feel him in me.

When he stepped up behind me, his hands trailed over my waist, to my abdomen to open my jeans and push them down my legs, including my boxer shorts. His movements were too fucking slow for my taste right now, and in hoping to urge him on, I leant back into him, just for my ass to meet his hard dick. Damn him, somewhere along the way he had shed the rest of his clothes, the warmth of his skin seeping into my own.

My resolve to let him take the lead was fading quickly, yet he'd have none of it. Placing his hands atop of mine, he pinned me to the wall. "What was this little thing about patience and virtue, darlin'?" he asked. "Keep your hands on that wall and spread your legs for me. No matter what, you won't move and I won't repeat myself." Biting down on my neck, pain and pleasure shot through my body, only increased by the words that just had left his mouth. "Understood?"

"Yes," I tried to say, though even through my lust-hazed mind it sounded more like a moan than anything else. As soon as the word left my mouth, I felt Jasper's lubed finger slip into me. Starting with a steady rhythm his finger pumped in and out of me. When he added another finger, his other hand found its way to my front. Adjusting to the fingers that fucked me, his other hand moved along my cock – long, almost languid, strokes.

When his mouth started to drop feather light kisses all over my spine it was almost too much, too many different sensations and only when his fingers slipped from me, I had the chance to catch my breath for a second. Every other movement, too, stilled until I felt the tip of his cock enter me slowly. Like always, he assured that he didn't hurt me, always taking care of me even in the hurries of passion and need.

Filling me completely, he halted his movements again, letting me adjust. I loved this moment when we were so wholly connected to each other, and we simply had the time to enjoy it before the need started to take over again. After the first slow and teasing motions of his hips, his pace started to quicken, his hand always moving in sync over my cock.

He brought us both so close to the edge that I couldn't stop the low growling sound slipping from my throat when he once again stilled behind me. Leaning his head on my shoulder, I could feel his breath washing over my skin, fast puffs of almost cold air compared to my heated body. His free hand trailed over my arm, intertwining our hands, where I held mine still stoically against the wall.

"I fucking love the black ink against your skin; I definitely should take you like this more often," he whispered, his voice raspy, and without giving me the time to respond his hips moved again. Not slowly, not teasingly – fast thrusts bringing us both right back to the edge until we fell over it together.

* * *

**AN:**

**As promised, more **_**innocent**_** fun ;D. Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and Browneyedgirl620 for the awesome beta skills, you girls rock!**

**So tell me what you thought, good and bad – I'd really like to know :o)!**

**Love,**

**Sanny**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight belongs to SM – like always. I only play with her characters.**

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**EPOV**

The rest of the week went by in a blur. I had finished my last classes for this semester and could now spend as much time with Jasper as possible. In other words, we were practically inseparable. We cooked together, we read the newspaper together, shared a bed, showered and brushed our teeth together… to make it short; we seemed to be attached at the hip, a delicious image if one were to ask me.

I reveled in the feeling of having him so close to me on a daily basis; he had become an even more essential part of my life than he had already been. Every now and then, mostly in quiet moments like now as I waited for him to get dressed, the thoughts of Jasper leaving crept back to my mind. With our promise that we wouldn't talk about it anymore in the back of my head, I tried to ignore these dark thoughts as much as possible. In reality though, I was truly terrified.

I knew we'd make it through this as a couple, there wasn't ever a doubt about it, yet I couldn't even begin to imagine how I would be coping without our daily interactions. My heart tightened and there wasn't enough air in the room only thinking about it.

_Not today_, I chided myself. Today was supposed to be a fun day, Alice's insistence. What the hell took Jasper so long anyway? I started to grow bored waiting for him, so we could get to Emmett's and Rosalie's place before hitting the club. Yes, the same club we went to right after he was back from Spain, where we grinded against each other on the dance floor for hours and afterwards ended up having sex with each other for the first time.

Jasper chose this very moment to interrupt my daydreams of said night as he walked into the room, in exactly the same outfit he wore that fateful night. Yes, I'm a guy and yes I notice what he wears – it's Jasper after all. Everything about him, including little details such as clothing, would hopefully be burned in my brain for all eternity. For now though, I feared my jaw was unhinged as it hung open widely while I stared at him unabashedly.

"Ready darlin'?" he asked, but looked way too innocent for me to even consider that he was as clueless about his outfit as he pretended to be.

Hadn't I known that Alice would have our heads; we still weren't back in her good graces after being late to her brunch, I would have dragged him right back where he just came from, his bedroom.

As it was though, we had to hurry, else we'd be late. Walking towards him, I hooked my fingers through his belt loops to pull him to me. Without further warning, I pressed my lips to his in an opened mouth kiss. He remained still for a second, no doubt a little shocked by my horny outburst, but regained his composition fast enough to respond in kind.

Breaking away, I turned around, although not without getting a glimpse of the now obvious bulge in his pants. Assuming that Jasper would follow, I grabbed my keys and made my way to the door. Obviously what people said about assuming was true, turning around, I saw him still rooted to the spot where I left him.

"What the fuck?"

"Weren't you asking if I was ready to go?" I asked innocently.

"I did," he replied, shaking his head lightly while walking over to me. "Payback's a bitch, I promise."

Grinning I followed him to the car, let the fun begin.

Arriving at Emmett's and Rosalie's apartment we were greeted by Emmett, a bottle of beer in one hand and a shot glass in the other one. "Hi guys," he cheered, his voice like usual, booming. "Damn Jasper, nice shirt, I bet it would look better on my bedroom floor."

Jasper and I traded looks but before either of us could voice a word, Emmett walked back into the apartment, leaving us to follow him. Walking into their living room, I seriously wondered how much they had to drink. Emmett was sitting on Seth's lap, Rose, Alice and Bella were giggling uncontrollably, waving at me and Jasper. Judging from their red facing this was already going on for a while.

Looking at Jas, he just shrugged and let himself fall down on the couch and dragging me with him. Snatching two unopened bottles of beer from the table, I handed him one, before I opened mine and took a long swig. We obviously had some catching up to do and my car would stay here anyway, we had already decided to take a cab home tonight.

"What exactly has you guys laughing so hard?" Jasper asked.

"Ohh, Jazzy," Alice squealed. "I was just telling them about a guy from this morning, he walked up to me, asking me to screw him if he was wrong and my name wasn't Gretchen."

She barely finished talking as the lot of them broke into another round of giggles. I could see the fun in the situation, especially considering that the guy made an idiot of himself but even more I wondered how someone could be possessed enough to say such a thing, Instead I pointed at Seth and Emmett, asking, "What exactly have these two to do with this?"

"Easy," Seth said, completely at ease like he didn't have a two hundred pound guy sitting on his lap. "I asked if he wanted to sit on my lap and talk about the first thing that pops up."

And if this wasn't comical enough, Emmett pouted, stating that nothing had popped up. The whole room was filled with laughter, it was so relaxing and exactly the kind of night we needed with all the stress lately.

"Alright, I have another one," Rose giggled. "Did I ever tell you what Emmett said when we first met?"

Shaking my head, I saw everyone but Emmett copy the motion, he was already explaining that he had been piss drunk as he so eloquently put it.

"Yeah, whatever, He walked to me and had this absolutely heartbreaking look on his face, as if someone just stole his puppy," Rose told us. "I was just about to ask if he was okay when he asked me if I would keep him if he followed me home."

More laughter all around but it was obvious that it had worked; else we wouldn't be sitting in the apartment they had bought together. Behind me I could feel Jasper's chest shake with laughter; glad that he, too, enjoyed this evening, I leaned into him and whispered, "You know, you have the prettiest teeth I ever dreamed of coming across."

His eyes widened as he realized that I was, indeed, referring to a blow job. But they, too, darkened with lust. Pulling me to him, our lips only inches apart, he countered, "The word of the day is legs. Let's go home and spread the word?"

Damn him. His words and the look in his eyes went straight to my groin, no matter how stupid the pickup line, it was the promise his words held. I had never gotten the chance to respond as our friends had decided to move on to the club while we had been trapped in our own little bubble.

The walk to the club took us maybe twenty minutes. Twenty minutes filled with laughter and silly jokes. Emmett and Seth were already so intoxicated that I found it hard to believe that both of them could still walk straight, the girls were talking, or eventually I should say giggling, about only god knows what and Jasper was swinging our hands back and forth like we often did as kids.

As empty as the streets seemed to be, the club was packed and the masses of people seemed to pulse with the music. Squeezing through said masses, we made it to the bar; our first destination. Once everyone had their desired drink in hand, we went on search for a table and lucky as we were a group just deserted one big enough for the seven of us.

"Hey guys, Emmett and I actually have to tell you something awesome," Rose said, interrupting the carefree chatter at our table. Satisfied that she had everyone's attention, she continued, "We sold our apartment to buy a two story building becau—"

"Rosalie!" Alice squealed, cutting her off mid-sentence and almost ripping the drink out of Rosalie's hands. Wondering what I just missed, I chanced a look at the rest of my friends but was greeted by the same clueless expression that no doubt graced my own face. All of them bore the same "What the fuck?" look, obviously neither of them having a clue either.

Alice seemed to live in her own world though and huffed, "Come on! You know yourself that you pregnant women shouldn't be drinking alcohol!"

"You crazy girl," Rose pressed out between gasps of laughter, while the rest of us was too stunned to even comment. "I'm not pregnant, you fool, we will be opening our own garage. That's why we need two stories."

"Oh," Alice whispered, her face falling as everyone around her fought the laughter and went on to congratulate Emmett and Rosalie. They'd finally make their dream come true – together – and without doubt every single person at this table was genuinely happy for them.

After quickly downing the round of shots, Emmett had purchased to celebrate; Jasper dragged me off to the dance floor, the rest of our friends close behind.

Although as soon as his arms hooked around my neck and his hips started to grind to the beat, everything around us seemed to fade, the music as well as the people. All that mattered was Jasper and the way his body felt against mine: how his hips touched against mine for the shortest moments and his hands weaved through the short hairs at the base of my skull.

"One of these days I'm gonna take you to one of my favorite gay clubs, darlin'," he breathed into my ear, the movements of his body against mine making it hard to make sense of what he just said, let alone form a response.

"Why?" I croaked out, my mouth feeling incredibly dry.

"'Cause I could probably fuck you right on the dance floor there and nobody would bat an eye about it," he responded huskily after trailing his tongue down my throat. "On second thought, they actually couldn't take their eyes of this beautiful body but I'd make sure to let them all know that you are mine, and mine alone."

To emphasize his point, he bit down on my neck, sucking in the same spot once he released the skin from his teeth. By the time his lips lifted, only to return to my mouth, I was sure he had left a mark. I didn't mind, mainly because he was right, I was his and had been for a long time, even if I was too stupid to realize it.

His tongue found its way into my mouth easily, stroking mine as one of his hands slid under my shirt, his short nails raking lightly across my abs. Needless to say that I was so hard at this point that my pants started to feel uncomfortable. If he'd keep this up, I might just spontaneously combust. Breaking off the kiss, we were both panting heavily and I couldn't help myself but notice how his broad chest rose and feel rapidly, it was mesmerizing and the only thing that entered my mind were possibilities of getting him out of his clothes as fast as possible.

Letting my eyes wander to his, I noticed him staring at me and lifted an eyebrow in silent question to see what the matter was. Leaning into me, his lips grazed my earlobe as he spoke one single word: _payback_. Abruptly he turned around, walking away and disappeared in the mass of people. And here I was, shell-shocked in the middle of a crowded dance floor with a raging hard on that was almost impossible to hide in, what felt like too tight, pants.

Lifting my gaze, I was met by my friends amused expression, who had doubtlessly witnessed the whole exchange. Shrugging and not really caring I started to weave my way through the people in the same direction Jasper had taken. Scanning the crowds around me while walking, it didn't take me too long to locate him standing at the bar. He was leaning with his elbows on the top of the bar, his upper body slightly bent and his ass minimally pushed out, yet enough to fill my mind with various images, one naughtier than the other.

Sneaking my arms around his waist, I pushed my erection right into his ass while my nose skimmed along his neck, taking in his mouthwatering scent. "There are 256 bones in the human body," I said, my voice sounding rough and husky even to my own ears, my lips inches away from his ear shell. "How would you like one more?"

Even if my question held a hint of truth, I certainly wouldn't mind having sex with him right now; I was pleased to hear the loud laughter, straight from his belly. Twisting in my arms to face me, his eyes were alight with happiness, complete with a real smile that spread across his whole face. Nodding his head to the bar, I followed his gaze to see two shot glasses, two lime slices and a salt shaker indicating that the glasses were filled with tequila – his favorite.

Grinning I took his hand and ran my tongue across its back, added salt to the wet spot and wedged a lime slice between my teeth, all the while holding Jasper's gaze. Gesturing for him to go ahead, I watched his tongue flick over his hand before he downed the shot and carefully took the lime from between my teeth. At this point I gave up on getting rid of my erection for the remainder of the evening, my whole body screamed for his mouth on my skin.

Reversing the process, Jasper returned the favor and when I took the lime from his mouth, after downing my own shot, the desire was plain to see in his eyes. Repeating the same actions with five more shots, Jasper seemed to have enough. With a tight grip on my hand, he led me through most of the club until we came across the bathrooms.

Pulling me inside, the door hadn't even completely closed before he pinned me against it, kissing me feverishly. I felt his hand move behind my back, followed by hearing the distinct clicking sound, signaling that he had just locked the door.

He seemed to be in a hurry, one second his mouth was on mine and the next he was on his knees in front of me, fumbling with the zipper on my jeans. Pulling gulps of air in my lungs, my brain seemed a little slow to keep up with his actions. When my jeans fell around my ankles, I finally found my voice.

"Jasper, we are in a public… Ohhhh," I moaned, by the end of the sentence his lips had wrapped around my cock, cancelling my ability to speak for the moment. Scrapping together the last bits of my willpower, I ground out the rest of my sentence between pants, "bathroom. We can't do this."

Jasper laughed around me, causing all kinds of delicious vibrations and released me from his mouth. "Don't be silly, there's nobody in here. So yes, we can and will do this." Grinning devilishly at me, he added, "Just watch me."

Without pausing another second, his lips engulfed me again, taking me in till his lips almost hit my pelvis. I was weak and my body screamed at me that yes, we indeed could do this. I knew I wouldn't last long and the image of his hot, wet mouth around me was already enough to bring me to the edge, not to mention what this boy could do with his tongue.

Clenching my eyes shut tightly, his tongue swirled around the head of my erection, teasing me. He repeated it a couple times and then his head started bobbing back and forth, a hint of tongue here and there but then his hands started to massage my balls, his teeth grazing along my shaft and I came undone.

"Ungh," I moaned, the only warning I was able o give him.

Jasper didn't seem to mind though and feeling him swallow around me intensified my orgasm. When he swallowed the last drop and licked me clean, he tucked me back in, since I couldn't have moved to save my life. Leaning against the wall, my breaths still came in rapid bursts and my brain refused to form any coherent sentences in my post coital haze. Jasper simply hugged me to him, content to let me come down from my orgasm induced high in silence.

Moving my hands down between our bodies, intent on returning the favor, Jasper caught my hand in his. Studying his face, I wondered why he stopped me but Jasper only smiled, seemingly reading the question on my face, saying, "I can wait a little longer. Let's get back; we wouldn't want our dear friends to worry, now would we?"

"Alright," I agreed, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. "Thank you."

"The pleasure was mine, darlin'."

Catching my reflection in the mirror I couldn't stop the grin spreading on my face. My hair was disheveled, my face flushed and now with the silly grin, everyone would be able to tell what exactly had happened in here. Finding our little group, nobody said a thing but their knowing gazes spoke volumes.

The rest of the night was spent with much more laughter and even more alcohol until we all decided to call it a night. The girls were laughing at Emmett and Seth, who leaned against each other for support. I was surprised to see them still standing upright with the amount of alcohol they had consumed.

While I, too, had enough alcohol, Jasper was a little worse off than me, his whole body swaying as he walked. Hailing down a cap for the two of us after we separated from our group, I helped him into the backseat and slid in next to him. The ride home didn't take long, yet it seemed enough for Jasper to fall into a light slumber. After paying the cab driver, I shook him awake gently and brought him inside and directly led him to my bedroom. Sitting him on the bed, I took off his shirt and helped him lay down to take off his jeans and helped him under the covers.

Using the bathroom to brush my teeth quickly, I undressed as well and crawled into bed with him. Curling myself around him, I rested my head in the crook of his neck, enjoying his warm skin on mine. "Night my little drunk," I whispered.

"Edward," Jasper mumbled just as I was about to fall asleep. "I'm not drunk; I'm just intoxicated by you."

* * *

**AN:**

**A little more playful banter before the big storm ahead. The next chapter will be Jasper's department, I warned you ;o). Like always thanks to my two fabulous betas Browneyedgirl620 and ****Jasper's Darlin' Kathy, you are both awesome! **

**Just to update you guys, my internet still doesn't work (*sigh* I know, it was supposed to work weeks ago) so I honestly can't tell you when the next update comes around. Most likely there won't be another update for Christmas, so I wish you all a merry Christmas and a good start into the next year!**

**Leave me some love and let me know your thoughts about the chapter!**

**Love, **

**Sanny**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill =]. **

* * *

**JPOV**

Would things go my way, I'd turn the car around this very second and go back home with Edward. I had become so good in ignoring the fact that I was leaving, today felt like a slap to my face. Waking up and knowing I'd have to go back to Spain, I wished I could rewind the time. But no matter how much I dreaded this, it wouldn't go away. In exactly 3 hours and 24 minutes the plane would go in the air and take me to Spain, without the love of my life.

The car was eerily silent, nobody dared to speak. Not Edward on the driver seat next to me, nor Alice and Emmett in the backseat. Edward was gripping my hand to an almost painful degree, although I didn't have it in me to tell him so. Rosalie, Bella, and Seth in the car behind us didn't fare much better, at least judging from the look through the rear window.

Needless to say, that I was scared shitless about our future after today. Not only would it break my heart to leave him behind, I also feared Edward's reaction. The last time I was gone, nobody would tell me anything about him; not because they didn't want to, but nobody had seen him enough to say much about it.

Back then he had completely withdrawn from everyone, so much that even I had noticed it – and we mostly had conversed via e-mail. The only thing Edward occasionally mentioned was how much he had missed me during that year, although he never went into more details. Now we were a couple though and were highly dependent on conversation, since the physical would be missing. I hoped with all my heart that we would find a way to work these things out; or else our relationship would go down the drain pretty fast and I was a hundred percent sure that neither of us wanted that to happen.

My knee kept bouncing in time to Edward's fingers tapping against the steering wheel and even without a conscious effort; I couldn't manage to stop the nervous movement. The tense silence, so unlike our usual carefree chatter, in the car just spiked my nervousness even more and for at least the fifth time today I wished for the easy banter that had accompanied the most of the past weeks.

To top it all off, my head felt like someone kept pounding a baseball bat on it, which I knew was only a reaction to my barely existent sleep. Edward and I hadn't been able to keep our hands off each other while laying naked in bed and whispering about our love for each other. Remembering the silent tears we shed, my heart gave a sharp tug, just like last night. Thoughts of Edward's angst, plainly to see in his eyes, and knowing that I was the reason for his tears had me wondering if I truly made the right decision.

Was it right to leave him alone when we both were so conflicted about it? Was it right to keep him in a relationship in which his partner lived a twelve hour plane flight away? Was it right to sacrifice my life with my lover, family, and friends for an unknown future in Spain? Was it wrong to contemplate these things, knowing that there was a pregnant woman in Spain, carrying my child?

Questions upon questions swirled through my head, constantly increasing my anxiety and so many of them could have been solved if Alyssa had agreed to come to the States with me. Yet she had outright refused, even when I went as far as begging her to think about it. Yet she hadn't let me finish the sentence before she screamed a "No," at me.

More than once I wondered why she refused so vehemently to only think about it. I knew that her parents were in Spain but that was about it, she had no other relatives there and three close friends; counting me in. In the States there would've been so many more people to help us but at some point she had stopped to acknowledge me when I started this conversation and I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.

It bothered me to no end that I couldn't figure out what she kept from me and soon I would have more than enough time to figure it out. After all I'd be alone in Spain and didn't even have a job to occupy my time. Right now though there were more pressing matters than my dark thoughts.

We had arrived at the airport five minutes ago and ever since Edward parked his silver Volvo he hadn't moved an inch. He was pale as a sheet and even though his fingers had stopped tapping, they were now gripping the steering wheel so tightly, it looked downright painful. I, too, stayed behind with Edward while Alice and Emmett had left the car and waited with Bella, Seth, and Rose in front of the airport entrance.

"I can't do this," Edward whispered, his voice barely audible, breaking on the last word.

"Come on, darlin'," I nudged him lightly and hoped like hell that my voice would stay calm. "We talked about this; you'll visit as soon as possible. We can do this together, right?"

Sighing, he clenched his eyes shut and nodded ever so slightly. The small movement was enough to reassure me for the moment because I honestly didn't know how I was supposed to change his mind and calm him, when I had a hard time, too, believing in the things we promised.

"Let's go then," he murmured. "Wouldn't want you to miss your flight, would we?"

Too choked up to answer, it was my turn to nod as we made our way out of the car. Grabbing my luggage, we joined our friends in the airport before I got everything settled at the check in and sat down in the waiting area in front of my gate.

The silence in our little group as the whole airport around us buzzed with life was almost deafening. It was like they were too afraid to say the wrongs thing and simply boycotted talking at all. Especially for Emmett and Seth it was so uncharacteristic that the guilt of doing this to my friends weighed down on me heavily. Everyone around me kept suffering for a mistake I made and it drove me slowly crazy with its feeling of wrongness.

Edward, who even in his own bad mood seemed to pick up on my distress, pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me. Once his delicious scent hit my nose, it was almost too much to bear; especially knowing that I wouldn't experience his warmth for the next couple weeks, if not months.

Time flew, like usual when you didn't want something to happen and it was time to say goodbye, thankfully my mother stayed at home. She alone had shed so many tears this morning that I was sure I wouldn't have been able to deal with it if she was here. Emmett and Seth were the first to grab me into tight hugs, telling me encouragements I barely understood with the fog of panic evading my mind. Next, Rosalie, Alice and Bella stepped forward and one after another, their cheeks streaked with tears, their eyes read and puffy and there small bodies pressed against mine to hug me goodbye.

Last but not least, there was Edward, who had been quietly standing off to the side and looked so pale that I worried he might faint any second. As brave as I had been with the rest of our group, when Edward stood in front of me, his lips claiming mine in a passionate kiss, filled with longing, I couldn't hold back the tears anymore as they gave our kiss a salty touch. Pulling away, he leaned his forehead against mine, his breath coming in short gasps and his red rimmed, green eyes piercing into my blue ones.

Right in that moment, there was another announcement to board my plane and Edward flinched as if someone had slapped him. "Go," he said quietly, so much pain in his eyes that it knocked the breath out of me. "I love you, never forget that."

"Love you, too," I murmured against his lips, never wanting to let go as the tears kept coming faster and faster, effectively messing with my sight until Edward's face blurred in front of me.

"Let me know you landed safely, promise?" he asked, the tears evident in his voice as it kept cracking.

"Of course, darlin'," I promised and kissed him a last time, the announcement that t was the last chance to board my plane sounding through the huge airport hall. Pulling away from him, I made my way to the gate, not looking back at him because I couldn't trust myself to enter the damn plane once I saw the pain on his face again.

Seeing the pity on the faces of the flight attendants, as they seated me, only made it worse. Slumping down in my window seat, I thankfully accepted the bottle of water I got handed. I unscrew the cap, and placed the bottle on the small table in front of me so I could search through the contents of my backpack until I found the small bottle of sleeping pills I had packed. Shaking two of them in the palm of my hand, I washed them down with water quickly before I put the rest back into the backpack.

I could only hope that they would take effect before the plane took off and last over most of the twelve hour flight, or else I couldn't guarantee what would happen. I was truly favored to break down in private not in the middle of a plane flight with a bunch of strangers all around me. Ordering a neat whiskey, I drained it at once, hoping it would speed the process up, but I needn't have worried – less than thirty minutes later I was asleep.

When I woke up again, the plane was already in the process of landing and my brain still too fogged up from the sleep and med combo. Operating solely on auto-pilot, I claimed my luggage, hailed down a cab and finally checked into my hotel room. Despite having been asleep for such a long time, I felt completely drained, not only physically but also emotionally.

The young girl showing me around my suit seemed to be highly offended that I simply nodded over all the details instead of "oohing" and "aaahing" over this beautiful room. I couldn't help myself though; the room lacked one essential thing to be truly perfect – Edward.

Sighing in relief when she finally stopped babbling, I tipped her and went to retrieve my cell phone to keep my promise to Edward. Opting for text message because I didn't trust myself not book the next flight back if I heard his voice, I quickly typed out that I landed safely, missed, and loved him. I knew he'd understand.

My mind still swirling with thoughts of Edward, I quickly dug through one of my suitcases until I found a pair boxer shorts and everything else I needed to shower, including Edward's shower gel. Turning on the hot water in the luxurious looking shower, the bathroom quickly filled with fog as I undressed.

The hot water felt heavenly as it washed away the stickiness of the twelve hour flight and even my tensed muscles started to relax. For a couple of minutes I just stood there, taking deep calming breaths and enjoying the water cascading down my back until I made the mistake to open the bottle of Edward's shower game.

As soon as the all too familiar smell of it filled the bathroom, my eyes welled up and for the first time since I left him standing in the airport I let go. Lone tears quickly turned into full blown out sobs as I sank to my knees, the water beating down on my shoulders. The anxiety I felt was almost overwhelming and for the first time in months I felt truly alone.

I didn't know how long it took till I started to calm down, but when I finally reached the point of being able to breathe halfway normally, I yelped in surprise – the water had turned ice cold. Who knew that one could exhaust the warm water tanks in hotels.

Turning off the shower, I grabbed one of the fluffy hotel towels and wrapped it around me. I stood in front of the mirror as I contemplated if I should shave or not and to my mild shock, I looked terrible, like I hadn't slept in days. My eyes were swollen and red rimmed from the crying, big bags underneath them. Well what the hell, who cared if I shaved anyway? It wasn't like I planned to move from my hotel room for the next couple of days, I fully intended to stay holed up in there and wallow in self-pity.

No longer caring, I simply slipped on my boxers, fished out my sleeping pills from my backpack, snatched a whiskey from the mini bar, and settled in the soft hotel bed. Merely lying there brought me back to the dark place in my mind, which was flooded with approximately a million questions. What if our relationship wouldn't stand a chance? What if something happened back home and I wouldn't be there? What if I completely sucked as a father?

Before too long the questions made me dizzy and I decided to take another round of the sleeping pills. Logically I knew that pills and alcohol weren't a solution but it was the only one I currently had. Like on the flight they kicked in incredibly fast and unconsciousness finally came.

When I woke up again it was dim outside and for a moment I couldn't figure out if it was evening or morning. The jet lag combined with my on and off sleeping schedule had messed up my whole system. Groaning, I shuffled around in bed until I found my cell phone buried under the pillows.

Well fuck me, 3:58 AM. And there was a message from Edward and two missed calls from him. For just a moment I felt relieved that I missed them, so I didn't have to deal with the problem of missing him even more upon hearing his voice. The thought had barely processed and I instantly felt guilty and ashamed.

If I was even too scared to talk to him on the phone, how could we ever make this work? I knew it wasn't right to try and avoid him; it would only raise a lot of problems once he figured it out. Regardless, I couldn't deal with it at the moment; I could only hope that I would learn how to deal with this situation better because I didn't even expect that the hurt would ever be less.

When I had been gone for one year, Edward had always been in the back of my mind, no matter where I went or what I did; I assumed the future would look similar. Needing to be close to him so badly that my body ached, yet too far away to see him as often as I wished – everyday.

Not feeling very hungry I just stayed in bed for a while, lying motionless and listening to the silence until it became unbearable. As my eyes fell on the little bottle of sleeping pills, I promised myself that I'd just take one more, then I'd at least get up to eat. Washing the pill down with water, I settled back into the soft pillows, such a pure substitute to Edward's lean body, and waited for sleep to claim me.

The next time I woke, the sun was cheerily shining through the windows, so much that it hurt my still sensitive eyes; as I wanted to punch it in the face because my mood was still everything, but cheery. There was a rapid pounding and I needed a moment in my sleepiness to realize that there was someone at the door.

Scrambling out of bed, I headed back to the bathroom where I had abandoned my jeans in a heap on the floor yesterday. Slipping into them, I got my hands slightly wet at the sink and ran them through my hair, which stood every which way after going to bed right after my shower; not a pretty sight.

Then there was silence, seems like whoever wanted to see me had left. Taking my time now I brushed my teeth and went to search for a shirt in my suitcase as the pounding picked up again, even harder than before. I was just about to yell that I'd be there in a second when I froze upon hearing the voice yelling through the door.

"Jasper Whitlock, if you don't open this damn door in the next ten seconds, so help me god I will kick your ass six ways to Sunday!"

_

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_

**AN: **

**Here you go: the separation from Jasper's POV. **

**First thanks for the reviews/PMs on the last chapter, sorry that I couldn't respond (internet problems still) but know that each of them made me beyond giddy :o).**

**I hope the chapter wasn't too bad; I had major problems writing it. It might seem a little "detached" but it's Jasper's way to deal. Also if you found the chapter confusing, for once it wasn't my mind messing up. It was purpose – Jasper's overwhelmed, hurt and confused, his thoughts won't stop attacking his brain :P. Next up will be the same scenario from Edward's POV :). **

**Like always, thanks to my two wonderful betas: Jasper's Darlin' Kathy and Browneyedgirl620. Leave them some love and let me know your thoughts about the chapter – good and bad, like always.**

**I wish you all a happy New Year! **

**Love,**

**Sanny**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill =]. I own nothing, but the storyline.**

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**EPOV**

The moment Jasper walked through the gate my world crumbled around me. My chest tightened to the point where I had trouble breathing and I knew that very moment that there was no way around the panic attack. I at least tried to stop it by pulling huge gulps of air in my lungs, but even to my own ears my breathing sounded raspy.

Everything around me seemed strangely quiet all of a sudden, but that might've only been because of the blood rushing through my ears. My vision was kind of dull, but all I could focus on was that Jasper was gone. He had walked through the gate without a single glance back and then he was gone. Off to Spain without me.

I could hear the voices of my friends calling my name, but they appeared so far away and my focus lay solely on the gate Jasper walked through. At some point my vision must've screwed up still more, the gate seemed to have grown in height; at least that's what I thought until I noticed the cold floor under my knees.

"Come on Edward, let's get you home," someone said.

How could they bring me home though, my home was with Jasper, who was in Spain. They must not know what they are talking about or else they wouldn't suggest such a stupid thing. Neither wanted me to leave the airport, what if he changed his mind? Shouldn't I wait at least a little bit longer?

"No," I protested, to whom I didn't know, my gaze still fixed on the corridor Jasper took. "I want to stay. Home isn't home without him."

I thought I made myself clear but then hands started pulling me up. Why didn't they listen to what I said? I could not go. "Stop that," I said between gasping for breath and I tried to push the hands off me. "Just leave me alone."

Upon my protests the hands stilled and the swirl of voices around me picked up, but I wasn't able to make out what they said and I couldn't bring myself to care about it. Running my hands over my face I was surprised to find it wet. Was I crying? Doesn't matter either way, I decided.

"Carlisle, we kind of have a situation here…," Alice's faded voice announced. Why was Carlisle at the airport anyway? He was supposed to be home with mom and Maria and keep them from hysterics. Or maybe Alice was mistaken, who knew. Not that it mattered.

"Where are his damn car keys?" Someone else asked, while hands flittered all over my body, obviously in search of said keys. What the fuck was their damn problem? Batting the hands away as good as possible with my gaze still fixed on the path Jasper took a couple minutes ago.

I wasn't sure what was happening, everything was blurry and the edges of my sight were fading; it was quite annoying. As if that wasn't enough, my chest hurt like a motherfucker; it felt like someone pierced a knife through my lungs multiple times. I began gasping for air, struggling for each breath as if a snake were slowly constricting my chest. Within moments, I was disoriented; it felt as if the life was being sucked out of me from my head to my toes before I finally collapsed.

Waking up completely bewildered, it took me a moment to realize that I was in my childhood bed; yet I had absolutely no recollection of how I came to be here. As soon as I tried to sit up my head felt like someone tried to split it in two and I quickly let my head fall back into the pillow. Turning my head, the red glowing number of my alarm told me that it was just shy of 8 AM in the morning.

Slowly, almost painfully, my memories of yesterday came back; the airport, Jasper leaving and waiting stoically for Jasper's return, on my knees in the middle of the airport nonetheless. Digging for my cell phone in my jeans, it felt bittersweet to see a text message for him.

It was good to know that he arrived in one piece, worse that it wasn't even 24 hours ago that I had held him in my arms and yet I already missed him terribly. It felt like a part of him was missing, almost like when he left for his internship. Unlike back then I could now place my emotions though, not that it made me feel any better.

Trying to dial him, I was even more disappointed that he didn't answer, so instead I settled for a short text message. Repeating the sentiment of missing him, even though words couldn't truly tell how I felt about his absence.

A soft knock on the door, revealing Carlisle, drew me from my inner musings. Nodding slightly to signal him that it was fine to enter, he did just that. Pulling a stool closer to the bed, he took a seat and simply looked at me for a moment before a huge sigh escaped him.

"How are you feeling, son?" he asked, worry clear in his voice.

"I'm fine," I croaked out unconvincingly, avoiding his gaze out of fear what I'd find there.

"You worry me, you know?" He asked rhetorically, his voice so quiet that I had to strain my ears to understand him. "Your friends brought you here after you fainted and once you woke up, I had to sedate you. You were so hysterical that you weren't at the airport anymore and nothing would calm you."

Letting Carlisle's words sink in, I was speechless. I didn't even remember waking up, yet it wasn't hard to believe that I had been hysterical. I made a mental note to call my friends and thank them for taking care of me once I was back home. Clearing my throat, I answered, "I'm really sorry, dad. There's no logical excuse, I simply lost it."

"There's absolutely no reason to apologize, just know that your friends and family are there for you," he promised. "Please don't shut everyone out again, like the last time. It hurt all of us."

"I'll try, I truly will but I won't make any promises," I told him.

He nodded. "That's all I'm asking. Now get ready for the day, your mom cooked breakfast."

"I'm going to take a shower and join you downstairs," I said, watching him leave and close the door behind him. Sighing, I got out of bed, grabbed some of my old clothes and headed for the bathroom. I welcomed the warm water as it relaxed my tense muscles; more so I welcomed the minty taste of the toothpaste. After all that sleeping and crying myself practically hoarse, I felt a bit better once I left the bathroom; I'd be easier to face Maria and Esme.

I shouldn't have bothered though, as both of them had a look of pity on their face when I entered the kitchen. Esme instantly fluttered around me like a clucking hen afraid of having her eggs taken away. She piled tons of food on my plate, brought me a cup scolding hot coffee and if I had asked for her liver, she'd probably given me it as well.

I knew she only meant well, I couldn't seem to appreciate it though. On top of it, Maria, whose son left for another country, mustered so much pity for me that it was simply unnerving. Had I really acted that badly to justify all of this?

By the time I left my parent's home, guilt was eating at me. I never intended to make the people around me suffer with me; it was the exact reason why I had withdrawn from everyone the last time. In this moment I knew how it would be to hold the promise I made to Carlisle. I didn't want anyone to suffer because of me and I doubted that I could figure out how to control my emotions better. All my life I had been an emotional and passionate person, I couldn't just turn that off now.

Arriving at home, the hole in my chest grew even bigger. In the past weeks I had spent so much time in my house with Jasper that he had become an essential part of it. Now that he wasn't here it felt empty and cold, deprived of the warmth it held when Jasper had been here.

Silently I wondered what to do with myself, not only now but also for the duration of the coming week. My next semester wouldn't start for another week and I had absolutely nothing to do; it would just make me miss Jasper even more if I sat around at home all day long doing nothing.

For the moment I tried the TV, hoping that some random show might catch my interest and keep me occupied at least for a little while. After zapping through about 50 channels though, my hope to find some easy distraction was smashed. Sighing, I clicked off the TV and looked around the living room.

I was determined now to find something, anything really, to shut up the burning awareness that Jasper wasn't here. Walking over to the bookshelves I scanned the books, but again nothing caught my attention. It was almost like my brain simply refused to think about anything else, but Jasper.

At this point I was so annoyed at myself that I contemplated calling Alice. She would, no doubt, come up with a hundred activities in five minutes flat; although if I would like any of them would be another matter. Then she would simply talk me into something I didn't want to do and my mood would sink even more. Another idea dismissed.

The thought of food crossed my mind, but I didn't really feel hungry; a drink though I wouldn't dismiss. Walking to the fairly stocked bar in the corner of the living room, my eyes fell upon my shiny, black beauty. I could've cursed myself for not thinking of this earlier, it should've been the first thing on my mind when looking for a distraction.

Abandoning every thought of a drink, I sat down and touched my fingers to the ivory keys. Without much thinking, bittersweet tones filled the room; one of the first pieces I had written. My eyes closed, minutes turned into hours and my fingers never paused; I played every piece that came to mind.

Music had always been the perfect outlet for my emotions, especially after I had discovered how much of them had a piece of Jasper in them. It was almost too easy to pour all my love, need, and longing for him into them.

And so I sat in front of my piano for hours, relishing Jasper's and my sweetest moments while the gentle tones captured me. Each song told its own story, flooding my mind with little stories of our shared life; the bad and the good, both was retold in my pieces.

Hours later, when my fingers started to cramp, I played the last note and waited for it to die away before I went to get the drink I had desired earlier on. It had turned dark meanwhile and I still didn't find the thought of food very appealing.

Instead I grabbed my drink, a couple of sleeping pills from the medicine cabinet and made my way to the bedroom. I stripped down to my boxer shorts and sat on the edge of the bed before washing down the sleeping pills with whiskey.

When my drink was finished, I buried myself under the sheets and was instantly attacked by Jasper's scent. Inhaling deeply, tears shot to my eyes and slowly trailed down my cheeks as the world of unconsciousness sucked me into a dreamless rest.

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**AN:**

**I hope you all started the New Year well!**

**Shorter than usually, yes :o) But I felt like everything was said that needed to be said. **

**After there was such a strong reaction to sleeping pills mixed with alcohol (and I used it in this chapter again)… don't worry people, Edward and Jasper aren't trying to commit suicide. They just want a break from the rollercoaster of emotions :o)**

**Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for being an awesome beta, you rock bb! Leave her some love and tell me what you thought about the chapter; the good and the bad, like usually.**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill =]. I own nothing, but the storyline.**

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_**Previously: **_

"_Jasper Whitlock, if you don't open this damn door in the next ten seconds, so help me god I will kick your ass six ways to Sunday!"_

**JPOV**

What the fuck, how did she even know where I was? Recovering from my little shock, I knew better though than to let her wait much longer. She would make true on her promise to kick my ass, I knew that from previous experience. Hurrying to the door, I opened it to reveal an angry looking Alyssa; one hand on her hip and the other on her swollen, seven months pregnant belly.

"Did you lose your brain on the way over here or what exactly made you not call me to let me know that you arrived well?" She seeded, only pausing to take a deep breath before she continued her rant. "I was worried sick, when I heard nothing from you! You didn't even answer your fucking cell phone and I had to threat the poor boy at the reception with the wrath of a pregnant woman to even get your fucking room number."

While she talked, she pushed me out of the way so she could enter the room, but when I didn't answer her directly she whirled back around to face me and continued to hiss, "So would you care to explain what possessed you? And even better, tell me why the hell do you look like a bus ran you over?"

"Jesus, Alyssa calm down, will you?" I asked, slightly worried. "I'm fine and all this stress isn't good for you."

Too late, I realized that this wasn't the right words. "Oh? This stress isn't good for me, huh?" She spat venomously. "Well guess who is responsible for all this stress then, Jasper Whitlock!"

Running my hands through my hair, a nervous habit I had picked up from Edward already years ago, I thought carefully about my next words but even the small mental reminder of him caused my concentration to falter.

"Look, I'm sorry okay?" I sighed. "I've been taking sleeping pills because my emotions were on a complete roller coaster after I boarded the plane in Seattle. I truly didn't mean to worry you."

Upon the mention of the Seattle her eyes softened. She knew about Edward, of course, and could probably imagine how hard it was for me to leave him at all. Alyssa, after all, was the one person who had constantly listened to my stories of heartbreak, while on my Internship here in Spain.

"I'm sorry, too," she told me, her voice softer now. "I was just worried and probably overreacted; these hormones drive me crazy."

"Don't worry about it," I assured her. I honestly wasn't mad at her and figured the sooner I get used to her crazy mood swings the better; I didn't say so aloud though. Once she finally believed me and told me that she had called about ten hotels to find me, she convinced me to get breakfast with her.

As we sat in a small Starbucks in the middle of the city, Alyssa fished a newspaper out of her clutch and laid it in front me. "I thought it might be smart to start looking for an apartment, what do you think?"

Thumbing through the newspaper until I found the section with apartments for rent, I replied, "You are right, the hotel would be too expensive with the time. I also have to find a job."

"What about that company from your internship, have you checked with them?" she questioned.

"Not yet, maybe I should just visit them and see if they have something for me before I start going through the papers, what do you think?"

She smiled, "They already know how good you are, so yes I don't see anything speaking against it. Would you like to have dinner with me and my parents tonight?"

"Do you even need to ask? You know that I love your mama's cooking," I winked.

"And she loves having you around, it's all she's been talking about for days," she said.

"Then it's settled, now let's check for a new apartment," I urged, wanting to be over with this part. I already knew it would be hard to find something here that I would like, my home would always be in the US with Edward and family. My hopes of finding something similar here were slim.

Two hours and another three newspapers later, we had five apartments on our list. Alyssa called them, since my Spanish was alright but naturally hers was better. One of them was right out because small kids weren't desired, for the rest she made appointments all throughout the day so we could look at them.

It felt good to have her around; her enthusiasm was almost infecting as it helped to keep Edward and the rising need for him out of my mind. Every now and then something would remind me about him, but Alyssa's constant babbling often pushed it to the back of my mind as it was hard to focus on everything else, but the steady flow of her words. I'd have enough time to wallow once I was alone in my hotel room.

With a promise to meet Alyssa again later on to look at the apartments, we parted ways. She wanted to pay a short visit to her mother's work and I decided to find an internet café to write an E-Mail to my mama and Edward. Due to the time zones they'd probably still be asleep; not needing to hear the voices I so painfully missed was just another bonus.

When I sat in front of a comp though, I couldn't think of a single thing to write them and starred at the empty E-mail for at least ten minutes; my brain seemed to be wiped cleaned. Drawing a deep breath, I started to write to my mom.

I reassured her that I had landed safely and hadn't answered her messages yet because I had been catching up on my jet lag; it wasn't a complete lie after all. I told her about the apartment search and that I planned to look for a job, too. Lastly I added that she should tell Carlisle and Esme hi from me and shouldn't worry too much, that I'd be fine. It wasn't much but it should satisfy her for now.

My E-Mail to Edward was a completely different matter. As I wrote down the same nonsense I already wrote my mother, I inwardly cursed myself. We were supposed to make this work and here I was talking about stupid things like weather and apartment search. Instead of really talking to him, I avoided him; too scared of what his voice might do to my emotional well being.

And so the tone of my e-mail changed, I told him how much I missed him already and longed for him to be in my arms. How I'd give anything right now to feel his skin against mine and that I'd wish nothing more than to hear his soothing humming. I also told him about the past three days, how I'd broken down without him here, after leaving him at the airport.

I knew it might worry him, but it felt important to be honest with him. We couldn't make this work if we weren't honest and I didn't spend years of secretly waiting for him only to ruin it now because I felt insecure. We had promised each other that we couldn't give and I had to believe in it; otherwise we could've split up the moment I left.

Although the thought of breaking things off with him was unbearable. It would be hard to work things out with our situation, but in the end we'd find a solution. I had to believe in it, in us; otherwise I would break me.

I finished the E-mail with a promise to call him after the apartment hunt, giving myself a reason not to find an excuse to suspend the call again. Hitting the send button, a wave of relief washed over me. It felt good to share with him what was going through my mind, I knew he'd understand.

The next thing on my list was the call to the company I had my internship at. They seemed genuinely interested as they invited me over for a talk and as it turned out, Alyssa had been right. They already knew me well from the year I had spent with them and welcomed me back as a photographer with open arms. For now I only had a six months contract, but it was better than nothing and I knew that I had good chances to have it extended.

The work permit I had already gotten situated right along with my residence permit before I left for my trip home to the US; it was another thing I didn't have to worry about.

Just like that another weight had been lifted off my chest; I now had a job, one I truly liked nonetheless, and could easily support myself and help out Alyssa with the baby. I felt like I had accomplished something good for the first time in weeks and couldn't wait to tell Edward about it in the evening as I knew he'd be proud of me.

Checking my watch, I saw that I still had almost thirty minutes until I needed to meet Alyssa for the apartment viewing; enough time to walk the short distance as it was located close to the city. I actually enjoyed walking through the familiar streets; I had gotten quite used to the small, narrow street filled with shops while I lived here for a year. Now though there were barely any people, seeing how a lot of Spanish people still cherished their siesta; a little rest in the noon.

The afternoon passed rapidly as we headed from apartment to apartment. The first two had been too small and while the fourth was too big, I was really smitten with the third. It had an open, friendly looking living room, a kitchen with all the kitchen equipment I could possibly need, a smaller bedroom for me and a bigger room which would be turned into a nursery.

It wasn't home, at least not the home I've gotten to know with Edward around. It had its own charm though and would provide a nice place to stay at; it also had enough space for a kid and most importantly – it was affordable.

"Something wrong?" I asked Alyssa on our way to her car.

"Not at all, my back just hurts and I have some minor cramps," she replied, and seeing the look on my face she added, "Nothing to worry about."

"Shall I bring you to a doctor?" I wondered. Looking closer now, I saw that her face was white as a sheet as if she was in serious pain. "It doesn't look like it's nothing."

"I'm fine, seriously," she answered vehemently, her voice telling me clearly that she wouldn't budge.

"Let me drive at least then, you look like you'll pass out any second," I demanded, pleased as she nodded her agreement. I helped her into the passenger seat and even though she tried to, she couldn't hide the gasp and little grimace when something hurt her sitting down. It was all I needed to know, no matter how mad she would be and that was a given, I'd drive her to a hospital for a check up.

Exactly like I had expected, she cursed at me for tricking her the second she noticed that I wasn't driving her home, but to the hospital instead. "Jasper, turn this car around this very second, I told you I'm fucking fine," she hissed.

"Of course you are, we'll just let a doctor confirm that," I answered, my voice calm. She could yell at me all she wanted but I was worried and wouldn't budge from my opinion until a doctor pronounced her current medical state _fine_.

And yelling she did, all the damn way to the hospital. We registered her with a nurse before she was led to an examination room and vehemently refused to let me to accompany her. While I was sitting in the waiting room, I wondered how bad it would be once she'd be in labour; I should probably buy protection gear.

I was reading through a baby magazine when the door of the room finally opened and Alyssa emerged; a tall, dark haired guy in scrubs right behind her.

"Ah, you must be the daddy to be," he mused in heavily accented English as I made my way over to them. Alyssa had obviously told him that I was from America.

"Jasper Whitlock," I nodded and introduced myself, shaking his hand.

"I'm doctor *** and I must ask you to make sure that this stubborn woman here strictly stays in bed. Even though she keeps saying that she is perfectly fine, her *muttermund* is already *2 inches* open. While it's nothing to worry about at the moment, the rest should assure that it won't open anymore. We wouldn't want the little one to be too prematurely, now would we?"

Again, I nodded, signalling that I understood. "Consider it my new full time job for the next weeks to make sure that she stays off her feet."

"Now that's more like it," the doctor said, his eyes twinkling. "I can assure you, it won't be as easy as it sounds. Most women in this prediction will kick and scream all the way until they are allowed out of bed again. Last but not least, please come back in a week. I want to check on you again and see if the *muttermund* opened anymore, alright?"

"Yes, doc," Alyssa muttered, her eyes glaring daggers in my direction; I'd never hear the end of it even though it had been the right decision. I only hoped that she, too, would realize soon that I only brought her to the hospital because I was worried and with the realization she hopefully would stop being mad at me.

"Look I'm sorry, Alyssa," I told her quietly as I helped her into the car, this time I'd really drive her home. "I was worried and I don't want anything to happen to the little one, please don't be mad at me."

Sighing deeply, she nodded, "Don't be silly; I know that. I'm just pissed because I'll be stuck in a bed for a while and it wasn't even that bad. On top of that I'm tired, hungry, and grouchy."

"Let's get you home and fed then," I said.

Once Alyssa was home, she called her mother to cancel dinner and tell her about the doctor's visit while I ran out again to get her favourite Chinese food. We ate together and I cleaned up the leftovers before making sure that she would have everything she might need for the night. With a promise that I'd be back in the morning and that she should call me at any time at night if she needed something I finally left her place at 11 pm to go back to my hotel.

As soon as my hotel door closed behind me, I stripped down to my boxer shorts and lay down on the king size bed. Starring at my cell phone as it lay next to me, I instantly grew anxious again. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to Edward; in fact I was beyond desperate to hear his voice.

I was so damn worried about how I would cope after I heard his voice. Would the aching need, which started to consume my body, quiet down or act up? Could I deal with hearing his voice knowing that I won't see him again for another couple of weeks?

On the other hand I could only guess how he would react. Our friends and Edward's parents, Carlisle and Esme, had told me how withdrawn Edward was when I left for the first time. Just that it is so much worse this time around; there's no date to when I will be back in the states. We still were without any options, but doing this damn long distance thing that seemed so very hopeless.

The more I contemplated, the darker my thoughts grew. I had promised to call him though and I never broke my promises. With a wildly beating heart, as if I was a teenager getting ready to call his first crush instead of his lifelong best friend turned into lover, I dialed Edward's cell phone.

It rang once, twice, thrice and as it rang a fourth time I was already disappointed. It wasn't like Edward to take so long before picking up, he must be busy with something. But just as I was about to hang up, his smooth voice teased my ears.

"Hello love," Edward said quietly and my whole body sighed in relief upon hearing his voice.

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**AN:**

**Here we go!**

**One short thing, I cut my hand two weeks ago and wasn't allowed to type until yesterday, so I fell a little behind in my writing. Also, I have midterms coming up in 4 weeks and the company I work for takes my grades very seriously. Nonetheless I hope to be able to update very 2 weeks like usually; in fact I'll try my hardest to do so. I simply wanted to give you a little heads up if the next update takes longer (=!**

**As always thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy, for being the awesome beta that she is. **

**Tell me what you thought about the chapter, good and bad; you know the drill!**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: As usually, I don't own anything but the story line. Everything Twilight related belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**AN: Sorry for the confusion everyone, something messed up the end of the chapter, I don't know what exactly did it but I reloaded it and hope it's fixed now. Again, I'm sorry.**

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**EPOV**

Pacing up and down in my living room didn't seem to help the slightest. I was more than nervous and feared Jasper would go back on his promise to call me or maybe something had happened to him that prevented him not to call. My brain was going crazy as it tried to come up with conclusions and nothing could hold my attention anymore. I went for a walk, tried to watch TV, started reading a book and played the piano; nothing helped.

I had been waiting for hours for Jasper to call when my hope died down; I finally gave in and went to take a shower. The hot water beat down on my shoulders, mixing with the silent tears rolling over my cheeks.

I had been so euphoric after reading his e-mail. He had opened up to me, told me how bad he felt and as much as it hurt me to read about him feeling just as bad as me, I was glad that he trusted me enough to tell me all of it and knew that I had to tell him about my side of the story.

I longed so much to hear his voice, but I knew better than to push him. He had to come to me on his own as he realized a long distance relationship could only work out with communication; I simply had to keep my faith in him and our relationship.

I truly hoped that time would make this more bearable. It hadn't even been one week and the thought of Jasper alone made my body ache and stand completely at attention. Hoping that a release might help me get a better grip on my emotions; my hands gripped my length as I imagined Jasper's hands on me. Memories of Jasper's lips around my cock or his hands stroking every inch of skin, they invaded my mind as the water caressed my skin.

I was just getting into it as my phone started to ring, Jasper's assigned ring tone. My eyes flew open and I jumped out of the shower, still dripping wet. I hastily dried my hands and took two calming breaths before I answered.

"Hello," I said simply, desperate to hear his voice in response.

"Edward," he sighed heavily. "What took you so long? It's unlike you to let your phone ring this long."

"I was in the shower, sorry love," I explained, a smile stretching across my face when I heard his low groan. "Which reminds me, hang on for a second." I placed the phone on the towel holder and wrapped a towel around my hips; I had already dripped enough water on the floor, no need to leave a wet trail throughout the whole house.

"Alright," I said, placing the phone back against my ear. "Isn't it late for you?"

"Indeed it is," he agreed, his voice smooth. "I'm in bed already."

Now it was my turn to groan; how I wished I could be with him. "Do you have the faintest idea what you do to me, Jasper?"

"Probably the same you did to me about two minutes ago when you told me that you were taking a shower," he replied nonchalantly.

"How about I tell you then that I'm lying on our bed, clad only in a towel?" I teased but there was a hint of truth, it was our bed with him in it or not.

"Mhm," he breathed. "Then I have to tell you how much I wish I could crawl up your naked body, your skin sliding against mine and my tongue trailing all over your body until I reach those pouty lips that are just waiting to be devoured by my mouth."

"What then?" I wondered; my breathing already labored.

"I'd kiss you senseless, rough and passionate before crawling back down between your knees, spreading them far apart," he murmured, his voice taking a rougher edge as his desire grew.

Closing my eyes, I let Jasper's voice seduce me as he painted these delicious images in my mind. My hand stroked over my erection, feather light touches that left me wanting so much more but I wanted to prolong this experience as much as possible. "Tell me more," I rasped; my own desire just as clear in my voice as it had been in Jasper's.

"Leaning down until my mouth was only inches away from your hard cock, my tongue flicks over that glistening, tasty drop of pre cum; mhm," he hummed. "Delicious."

I groaned, if he kept going it wouldn't take much to make me cum. His voice drawing these fucking awesome images in my head was enough to bring me close to the edge; so much for trying to prolong this as much as possible.

"Jasper," I moaned. "I wish it were your hands touching me right now."

"Touching yourself, huh?" he chuckled lightly. "What a bad boy you are, I think I must punish you for doing such a naughty thing."

"Whatever you must do," I breathed, my body shivering in anticipation of his next words.

"I think a slow torture would be best," he mused. "I kiss along your stomach, letting my tongue dip in your belly button before I move my lips to your hipbones, down to your thighs where my fingers already stroke along your nice muscles. Touching you any place but the one you want me to touch. How would you like that, darlin'?"

"More," I moaned, every coherent thought leaving my mind at once. My hand seemed to speed on its own accord, stroking over my erection faster.

"Patience," Jasper murmured, his voice growing even more seductive. "I keep kissing your legs until you are writhing underneath me, twitching for me to place my mouth where you need it most, isn't that right darlin'?"

"Please, baby," I begged; it wasn't beyond me to beg as my need for him rose to an almost excruciating level.

"Tell me what you want," he coaxed, his breath hitching upon hearing my pleading tone.

"I want your mouth on my cock," I rasped between pants.

"My mouth on your cock, huh?" He repeated with a voice smoother than honey. "Close your eyes and imagine how I'd suck the tip of your dick into my mouth while one of my hands massages your balls. Like that?"

My hand increased its rhythm, the groans falling from my mouth. "Yes, just like that," I ground out; unable to come with an intellectual response once I heard his breath sped up. I didn't need to ask to know that he, too, was touching himself.

"My tongue swirling along your length when I bob my head up and down, gradually swallowing a bit more of your thick cock until you hit the back of my throat," he continued.

"So good, Jasper," I groaned. "Can't hold out much longer.

"Cum for me," he urged. "Let me taste you as you cum deep down my throat. Let me swallow every last drop."

"No," I gasped. "I want you to cum with me. I want to stroke you until you moan around my cock, knowing that it is me who invokes these sounds from you; that you are mine."

"Yours," he moaned. "Always and don't you ever forget it."

His words were enough to drive me over the edge and I vaguely realized that Jasper, too, came along with me. Our groans and heavy breathing were the only thing heard as the waves of our climaxes overtook us. Even if I couldn't feel his skin under my hands, this was the next best thing.

Afterwards it took us both a moment to catch our breath enough to resume a normal conversation and he told me again about his day. He had gotten his old job back and I couldn't help but tell him how proud I was. Of course, I would've preferred him to have a job in the states but no matter how complicated his life had gotten, he managed it.

When he told me about Alyssa kicking his ass into action it was a mild understatement to say that I was amused. She seemed like a little firecracker, even more coupled with her current pregnancy hormones. Her characteristics reminded me a little bit of Alice, go figure.

He told me about Alyssa's ordered bed rest and I immediately felt bad for my earlier emotions when he hadn't called. He seemed really worried and I tried to reassure him, but could tell that it wasn't really working; never before had I realized how much he cared even if the whole situation gave his life a complete new spin.

We both knew that we kept stalling, avoiding the subject of Jasper avoiding me and both of us feeling like shit without the other. I knew though that eventually we had to talk about it if not to prevent it happening again; for now our whole relationship was solely based on communication.

"I know it's not an easy topic," I began. "But we should talk about what happened, Jasper."

"Okay," he agreed slowly.

"I understand why you acted the way you did," I told him, hoping this would help him ease up a little. "It's hard to be apart after being so close together, but I need you to promise me something."

"What's that?" Jasper interrupted.

"I need you to tell me when you need space, not just disappearing without letting me know what's happening," I explained. "I worry, you know."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking how it affected you," he sighed. "I've been so caught up in the roller coaster of my emotions that it was hard to see beyond my own pain, but I promise to let you know the next time."

"Don't apologize, I know how you feel," I amended. "I wasn't better off."

He sighed deeply, but before he could start blaming himself I continued to talk, "Carlisle had to sedate me right after I got home from the airport and baby, I'm not telling you this so you can beat up yourself over it. These things might happen again. But we'll only get through it if we talk to each other."

"You are right," he sighed again. "I know you are but it doesn't make it any easier. I promise though to try harder."

The fatigue in his voice grew and I knew that our conversation had to end at some point; it was no doubt the middle of the night for him already. Stupid time zones; as if distance allowed wouldn't have been bad enough.

I told him to catch some sleep after all the excitement of the day, that we could talk again tomorrow and after saying our "_I love you's, _we hung up with the promise of another phone conversation the next day.

That night a new routine had been born, every day we would talk, even if it only was for a couple of minutes. No matter how busy Jasper was, he always took the time. He had renovated his apartment and moved in before he had to start working again.

Work seemed to be good for him as it gave him some time away from all the drama that lately dominated his life. After work he often looked after Alyssa and on the weekends he was busy arranging the nurseries. Not only did he have to finish one at his place, but also the nursery at Alyssa's place since she was still out of commotion due to her bed rest.

He often seemed genuinely content; at least until the distance between us came up then his mood would do a 180° swing. Yes, we had learned to work around it most of the time, but that didn't mean it wasn't still hard. It was without doubt one of the hardest things I ever had to do regarding Jasper.

It was a busy time for him, but our phone calls kept constant, we even started a new habit with including a webcam to our talks and more often than not we ended up naked. It was a poor substitute to touching him, but I greedily took what I could.

Even as I filled my schedule with a lot of school work, family dinners and whatnot, our daily phone conversation stayed the highlight of my every day. I was beyond giddy when the time of his call neared that the minutes crept by unbearably slow. On some days they were my sole focus, so much that I couldn't concentrate about anything else but the moment his voice would be cooing into my ear again.

Nowadays the ringtone I had assigned to Jasper was almost enough to get me rock hard as my need for him never faded. While I often got a temporary release during these calls, my need to touch him and feel him next to me never subsided.

He was gone for two months already, two months that passed so very fast with our hectic schedules and now I only had to wait another seven weeks before I could finally hug him tightly to my body again. I could only hope that the weeks would keep flying the same way they did at the moment.

Just as I was about to be completely engrossed in my daydreams about Jasper, my phone beeped with a text message.

_Hello darlin'! Can't make it for our phone call today, Alyssa went into labour._

_Call you when it's over. Love, Jasper_

Wow, that was unexpected. She still had another month time but it seemed like the little one didn't want to wait anymore. Not even here yet and already interrupting its daddy's alone time with his boyfriend, I thought to myself, a little irritated.

Logically I knew that my irritation was ill-founded, the baby didn't do this to annoy me, yet I also knew that I'd have a hard time to share my time with Jasper with someone else. My train of thought felt quite childish, but I couldn't seem to shake it.

In the past weeks he had grown more excited about the baby, always telling me how fascinating it was to see it move in Alyssa's belly. I was glad that he started to come around to the idea of having a baby, even if he was scared shitless. When he told me for the first time that he never accompanied Alyssa to her doctor appointments I was truly surprised. Didn't he want to see his baby on ultrasound or hear its heart beat, I wondered. He had just shrugged of my inquiries, telling me that it made Alyssa uncomfortable, since she spent most of her appointments only half dressed.

I had dropped the topic sensing that it bothered him despite his nonchalance, although I often kept wondering about it. Why did she feel bothered by such a little detail after she actually had sex with him? The thought of them together usually brought out the jealousy and I avoided thinking about it.

I only wished I would have my jealousy better in control, especially when it came to the baby; who in their right mind was jealous of a mother and her still unborn baby.

Instead of brooding about it more, I grabbed a book in an attempt to pass the time until Jasper would call; there was no use in overanalyzing things. I should've known better though, the book couldn't hold my attention and I wasn't able to check my watch minutely. Minutes changed into hours and before I even realized it, I was drifting off into unconscious.

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**AN:**

**Okay, I thought you all deserved some fun after the heart fail in the past chapters and I'm even on time with posting ;)! Like so often, let me know what you think as I'm not quite sure why I still have a heart fail every time I post. Just let me know, critique is always welcome!**

**Everyone ready to see a nervous new Daddy meeting his son/daughter in the next chapter? Ready or not, the time is almost there!**

**Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for being the awesome beta she is. Leave her and me some love! (Almost 100 reviews by the way, you guys rock and I truly appreciate each and every one of them!)**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill =]. **

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**JPOV**

The boring white walls of the waiting room held no more interest to me than they did the past six hours. The antiseptic smell hung heavy in the air and my eyes kept closing on their own accord; I was tired of waiting.

Yet the thought of what was happening only a handful of rooms away reduced me to a nervous bundle of nerves within seconds; the delivery room. Every now and then Alyssa's cries of pain rang through the hall and I tensed, anticipating to hear the cry of the baby any second now.

When Alyssa's mom had called me eight hours prior to let me know that Alyssa was going into delivery, it had taken me exactly forty-three minutes to gather enough courage and nerves to go to the hospital. Too late I realized that I'd be totally useless, sitting around in the waiting room because we all agreed beforehand that her mother would join Alyssa in the delivery room.

I had easily agreed, knowing that she could offer Alyssa more support than I. Even though Alyssa and I became good friends over the past weeks, reestablishing the friendship we'd had before we had sex, she felt awkward when she was in such a state of undress with me in the room and I couldn't truly hold it against her.

It was 4:17 AM and in my hurry to get to the hospital I had almost forgotten about Edward, only three hours ago the thought that I wouldn't be calling him entered my mind and I sent him a short text message.

It was the first time I missed one of our phone calls since we started the routine of talking every day, no matter how short. Things had gotten better after I promised myself and Edward to share my worries with him, I didn't withdraw from him anymore, but instead told him when I felt bad or missed him so much that it hurt.

It was still hard not to have him close to me, a constant ache as my body and mind longed for him and I doubted that it would ever change, yet I had learned to live with it. Absolutely absorbed in my thoughts, I startled when I noticed a nurse right in front of me softly calling my name.

"Yes?" I croaked, my voice almost completely gone after not talking for so long.

"Congratulations to the new Daddy," She smiled, her English heavily accented. "Alyssa will be in her room in about twenty minutes, you can meet her there:"

"Thank you," I smiled back as I rose from my chair and made my way to Alyssa's room. Suddenly all my nerves were back and even worse than before. It was finally time to meet my son or daughter and there was no more going back; not that going back had ever been a real choice.

Pacing up and down the room with my nerves shot to hell, the minutes dragged on. These were most likely the longest twenty minutes in my whole life. Behind all nervousness there was a hint of excitement though. I hadn't entertained the thought of having my own child and as much as it took time to get used to, it was an incredible feeling; knowing that I helped to create this little person whom I was about to meet.

When the door opened to reveal a huge hospital bed with Alyssa and a little blue bundle of fabrics in her arms, I stopped dead in my tracks. She looked really tired, her sweaty hair still plastered to her head but there was a small smile gracing her lips as she looked down at the baby in her arms; our son.

The nurse wheeled the bed to its previous spot, while I still stood frozen. Before she left, she caught Alyssa's gaze and nodded slightly towards me, effectively bringing me to her attention. Alyssa's eyes locked on mine as she motioned me closer.

"Meet your son, Jasper," she whispered, her face glowing with happiness as she spoke the words.

Hesitantly I stepped closer, still not truly believing that I was indeed a father now, even after the many months I had to prepare mentally for this moment; it seemed almost surreal. But then I caught sight of the little guy and could feel my eyes fill with tears; a shock of dark hair, eyes tightly closed, a little button nose and a small pink mouth, slightly opened.

My heart swelled with a new emotion and in that moment I knew that no matter what, I'd always love him with everything I was capable of. Snapping my gaze back to Alyssa, I stepped next to her.

"May I?" I asked quietly, afraid to wake him up.

"Of course," she murmured, sitting up as she instructed me how to hold my arms. "Be careful to support his head."

Doing as she told me to, she placed my son in my arms. I was vaguely aware of the tears trailing down my cheeks, I couldn't care less. Indescribable emotions surged through me as I gazed down at my son while I held him for the first time, his beautiful features and his little hand trying to grasp something in his sleep. In less than five minutes he had become my whole world and with a clarity, which I had only felt once before when it came to Edward, I knew that it would never change. This moment would be burned into my memory forever.

Glancing up, I saw that Alyssa had fallen asleep and I slowly moved to a chair in the corner of the room, still scared to wake my son up. My son, still fucking unbelievable. Sitting down, I started to hum a random melody and while I logically knew that one hummed to kids to make them fall asleep and not when they were already asleep, it felt right.

When my eyes started to close, I placed him in the crib next to Alyssa's bed. I quickly scribbled her a note to say that I'd be back once I caught a couple hours of sleep and a shower. Before I left, I walked over to the crib once more and quickly snapped a picture with my cell phone. On my way out of the hospital I quickly wrote out a text message to Edward and attached the picture.

_Hello darlin', meet Aden Whitlock Sanchez, my son. Can't wait to talk to you. Love, J_

On my way home I wondered how this change would affect our relationship; although I was sure that we would work through it nonetheless. In the past weeks, living with a distance relationship, I had grown more confident. It was easier to open up to Edward now, talk about my emotions and he always managed to reassure me.

We both had learned to turn previously physical reassurances into lingual ones. And that doesn't mean there wasn't still a lot of pent up need for each other, we just made sure to find temporarily different ways to make up for the physical part.

Luckily in only seven weeks I'd be able to hold him in my arms again; I was only afraid that things would be worse again after he had to go back to the states. We still had to work out a permanent solution, yet also both agreed that we should wait till Edward would be done with school.

Arriving at home, I uploaded the picture of Aden to my comp and sent my mother as well as my friends a short E-Mail to let them all know about my new status as proud Daddy before I dropped into my bed and let the exhaustion take over. All the waiting and nerve wrecking had taken its toll on me and without much time to mull over my thoughts anymore, I fell asleep.

Two days later Alyssa was already allowed to go home, so I bundled her and Aden up in Alyssa's car and drove us to her place. She still looked terribly tired and I decided to spend the following week to help her out. My boss gladly gave me the week free, seeing how I wouldn't become a Dad every other day. It was without doubt the shortest and simultaneously the longest week of my life.

Aden woke up every three hours screaming, he was like clockwork. Alyssa had pumped milk, so that I could take over some of the feedings while she caught up on sleep and so our routine developed. We started to sleep in turn, while one was awake to take care of Aden when he woke up, the other was sleeping. It didn't take us long to realize how flawed our routine was, there simply was no sleeping through Aden's cries; by the end of the first week we were both dead on our feet.

I was actually glad when work started up again, compared to Aden's cries it was heavenly quiet at the office, even though I missed being around the little one all day long. Being a dad still felt so strange and new, yet it brought out the most incredible feelings. I was sure Edward was already sick of my gushing, as he was the one who had to endure it most of the time.

My talks with Edward, too, changed. Not only did I talk a lot about Aden but I was often too tired to spend the usual amount of time on the phone. After work I'd stop by at Alyssa's place and often found her cooking with her mother, it was their bonding time, and once I arrived at home I was operating on auto pilot, too tired to do much more than shower and drop into bed.

Edward had grown quieter while our talks, letting me do most of the talking as he listened; something seemed to bother him. I didn't find it in me to ask him, instead opting to wait till he was ready to talk about it. Yet I had promised myself to ask him if nothing changed till he came to visit.

Not enough that Edward had grown quiet, Alyssa did, too. She often seemed lost in thought and I started to worry that she maybe was overcharged being a first time mom. The only time she was genuinely happy was when she held Aden. I had tried to talk to her various times, but she always blocked all my questions on the topic; a shrug was the biggest reaction I could get out of her.

I had even talked to Alyssa's mother, hoping she would know what bothered Alyssa. She reassured me that everything was fine with Alyssa and that she didn't act out of the ordinary. I wondered if being a dad had made me paranoid and dropped the topic, hoping that she would come to me if she had any problems.

With all the mood swings of the people close to me, it often seemed like my job was the only constant still left. Due to a coworkers sickness I had taken over as a photographer and found that I really enjoyed this position. I was always out and about on the job, meeting new people and seeing new places. It was a nice contrast to hours at home in the evenings.

It felt good to be so busy and it made the time fly even faster. I tried to pull one or two over hours every day and when there were only five days left till Edward would arrive, I had enough over hours to take off a couple of days to spend with Edward without touching my actual vacation time as I tried to save them for a trip to the states.

The days of his arrival crept closer while the excitement and worry in me built up. I wasn't worried how he would handle being around Aden, I was a hundred percent sure that he'd be a natural with him. No my worry was all about Alyssa, how would he get along with her, knowing that I had sex with her; that she was the mother of my son? And how would Alyssa react to being around someone holding such a high value to me, when suddenly not all my attention was on her and Aden anymore?

Instead of dwelling on my worries I tried to focus on the excitement. My heart almost burst with giddiness at the prospect of holding him in my arms again, kissing him and falling asleep to his steady heartbeat. I was excited to show him how my new life looked and maybe even how his could look if he ever decided on moving to Spain.

The closer the timeframe of his visit came the more time slowed down. The day before his arrival I was reduced to a giddy mess, literally shaking with excitement. I couldn't keep a train of thought all day long; my sole focus lay on Edward's plane landing at 3:56 pm the next day. The whole night I lay awake counting down the minutes till he would be in Spain, thus finally would be in my arms again.

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AN:

This story actually reached 100+ reviews (never thought it possible!) and I wanna say thanks again or all the encouraging words. Thanks to ones of you who review every chapter, the ones who review occasionally and the ones who read. Also a huge thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for doing an awesome and fast job, you are the best bb!

So Jasper's a daddy now :) Keep in mind that I don't have any kids; I can only imagine how it would feel to be a mom or dad. I hope it didn't turn out too bad! Let me know your thoughts, please.

Last but not least… excited for the reunion (posted in 2 weeks)? I definitely am!

Take care,

Sanny


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill =]. I merely own the storyline.**

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**EPOV**

Sitting on the plane, too excited to sleep, I reviewed the past couple of weeks; to say they were rocky would be wishful thinking. They were rocky and then some more.

After Jasper's confession of his fears and worries, we had established a routine of daily calls; even found a way to express our feelings openly without the physical aspect of our relationship. We had found the best way for us to cope with the, hopefully temporary distance.

At least until Aden was born. Our carefully constructed routine crumbled little by little. Jasper seemed to be permanently tired and when he wasn't, he often talked about Aden. It was good to hear Jasper talk so positively about his new status as father, but I couldn't help but feel like it was something that I could never truly share with him.

It was an experience that we couldn't share and as hard as I tried, I somehow couldn't see past that. I had started to withdraw and I knew that Jasper noticed it all too well, yet I couldn't bring myself to explain my worries to him. Even in my own mind it seemed like such a petty thing.

Matters didn't improve when he first told me about Alyssa's strange behavior. The more he talked about it, the more I wondered. I had even started to research on the internet and at first I thought that she had started to develop a postpartum depression, but soon came to the conclusion that her symptoms didn't add up with the usual ones. Her problems seemed to be completely unrelated with the birth.

Not only did Jasper play her behavior down, he had also started to question his own perception; especially so after Alyssa's mother had ensured him that she couldn't see anything wrong with her daughter.

Thus I sat on the plane contemplating what I should expect once I arrived in Spain. Would I get along with Alyssa? And how would it be to see Jasper with Aden; to actually see with my own eyes that there was one experience that we could never share?

Looking out of the plane window I tried to calm my racing thoughts. There were still two of hours of my flight left and I couldn't seem to fall asleep. The past hours, sitting stoically in my seat with a snoozing older lady next to me, had dragged on endlessly. I couldn't wait to stretch my stiff legs as I walked right in the arms of my love.

When we finally landed, all I wanted to do is run out of the plane and through the airport until I was in Jasper's arms. The people around me had different plans though; without a care in the world they strolled through the aisle of the plane and continued equally slow through the gate. I was ready to yell at them to move their asses a little faster when I saw his anxious face as he sorted through the people emerging the plane.

The moment his eyes met mine, I seemed to be rooted to the spot by the intensity of his gaze. The most breathtaking smile took over his features, the features I had missed so terribly in the past months. Not caring anymore, I elbowed through the people until my way to him was free.

Standing in front of him, he grabbed me in a bone crushing hug and my body seemed to sigh in relief once his all too familiar body molded against mine. I wanted to protest when he started to pull away but then his lips met mine and for the first time in months I felt like I was truly home.

The noises around us faded, as Jasper once again became the sole focus of my attention. His scent clouded my mind while his soft tongue urgently pressed against mine. With my eyes closed, I forgot about everything around me; there were only Jasper and me; his hard body pressing into me and his soft mouth moving with mine.

When he pulled away this time, we were both breathing heavily and as the sounds of the busy airport around as came crashing back, I slowing opened my eyes. My eyes met his intense gaze, my breath hitching when the need for him surged though my body.

"I love you," he whispered. His voice sounded like dripping, hot honey and sent shivers of pleasure through my body.

"I love you, too," I whispered back before I leaned in closer until my lips grazed his ear. "And take me to your apartment because I don't care if the whole airport watches when I bury myself in you; I need you."

I could hear him swallow noisily as he grabbed my hand without words and pulled me towards the baggage claim. Once we found my two suitcases, he dragged me on until we reached his car; a sleek, black BMW. There weren't any more words spoken after my declaration of need, even when I felt like the sexual tension in the car might cut of my breath.

Our hands lay joined in between us, his thumb rubbing circles on the back of my hand. The smallest of his touches seemed enough to make my body hum with giddy energy and like an inpatient little boy I wanted to ask how long it was until we arrived. After my eleven hour flight one should have thought that a twenty minute car ride should be a piece of cake, yet it was everything but that.

I wanted to taste him, feel every single part of his toned body beneath my hands, and make love to him until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. And when we finally reached his apartment, we didn't even bother to bring the baggage. Jasper led the way and when he started to fumble with the keys, I couldn't take it anymore; turning him around to face me, my mouth crashed to his.

He was trapped between my body and the door, his erection pressing tightly into my hip bone as our lips began moving against each other in a frenzy. Moaning into my mouth, his hands inched their way underneath my shirt.

Breaking the kiss, I panted, "Let's get inside."

The words had barely left my mouth when suddenly I was the one wedged against the door. In a movement so fast that I had only registered it after it happened, Jasper had reversed our positions. His lips kissed along my neck, stealing every last rational thought I had left. I was completely consumed by him that only when we stumbled into the door, I realized that jingling sound were Jasper's keys.

When Jasper's hands found their way back under my shirt, a loud groan escaped. For months I had waited to feel his skin against mine and with a new found worry I stripped the shirt over my head and dropped it; seconds later Jasper's followed.

My thumb brushed over his pierced nipple, slightly twisting it and evoking the sweetest moan from him which went straight to my cock. My jeans as well as briefs started to feel uncomfortably tight as my erection strained against its confinement.

But Jasper didn't waste any more time before unbuttoning my jeans and ripping its zipper open. I slid my fingers through the belt loops of Jasper's jeans and pulled him flush against me, intending to return the favor when a Jasper's ringing cell phone penetrated the fog in my brain.

"Ignore it," he groaned against the skin of my chest. "Fucking ignore it."

He didn't have to tell me twice; there was nothing I'd rather do than keep my hands on him forever, not letting a single thing bother me. My hands made fast work of his jeans and he simply kicked them off before leading me towards the couch on our right. Together we sank down on it, my body covering his.

Sucking his lower lip into my mouth as our legs tangled, my hands moved over every inch of skin I could reach. It felt like heaven when Jasper's fingertips danced across my scalp until he reached my neck and shoulders; the sweetest kind of torture when my arousal spiked in response to his every touch.

I wanted to kiss the living daylights out of him but eventually I had to break away to fill my already burning lungs with air. The silence around us was filled with our harsh gasps as my eyes were to drawn to his red, swollen lips. Immediately a picture of these lush lips, wrapped around my cock, flashed through my mind; they looked so very fuckable.

There it was again, the ringtone of his cell phone; Jasper broke our eye contact to glare at his discarded pants and I couldn't bring myself to care. Instead I brought my mouth back to his soft skin. Kissing over his pecs, down his hard abs until I reached the waistband of his boxers, I dipped my fingers inside and started to pull them down; successfully distracting him and myself from the annoying ringing.

But the ringing didn't cease and Jasper's eyes swept back and forth between me and his ringing pants. Sighing deeply, I sat back on my heels to give Jasper enough space to stand up.

"Go ahead," I murmured. "Take it."

His apologetic eyes flickered to mine for a second before whatever worry he had won over the guilt he felt for interrupting us and he scrambled off the couch to retrieve his phone.

"Alyssa?" He asked, flipping the phone open. Ah that explained a lot, he must've been worried that something happened when she didn't stop calling; almost instantly I felt guilty for being irked by the interruption.

"Mhm," he agreed, muttering something inaudible under his breath as he made his way back over to me, the phone still attached to his ear as he listened to whatever Alyssa said. When he sat back down next to me, the crying baby was clearly audible over the phone, even with the distance between Jasper and I.

"Alyssa, calm down," he tried to reassure her. "I'll be there in fifteen."

After a quick goodbye he turned towards me, the frustration and anguish clear on his face. Sighing deeply, he said, "I'm so sorry, darlin'. Aden won't stop crying and Alyssa seems to be on the verge of a break down herself."

"Don't be silly, let's go. I want to meet your son," I said, nudging him slightly. "You can make it up to me."

"I will," he promised, rising to his feet to gather our clothes off the floor.

Dressing quickly, we took the short trip with Jasper's car; all the while I willed my raging erection away as it started to become quite painful. Cock blocked by Jasper's son for the first time; it probably wouldn't be the last.

The look on Jasper's face quickly made me forget my train of thought. He seemed to be anxious to see what was wrong and it felt wrong for me to dwell that we didn't get to finish what we had started, there would be another opportunity. The faster my body understood that Jasper's son would come first from now on, the easier for all of us. It was, after all, a simple process that even I could understand.

When we entered Alyssa's building, we were greeted by Aden's cries sounding through the halls. He sure had a nice volume for such a little guy. Jasper's stride sped up as we made our way to Alyssa's apartment to which Jasper let us in with his key.

"Alyssa?" he called.

"In here," a tired sounding, Spanish accented voice called back.

Jasper immediately moved towards the source of the voice, leaving me to follow him or stand in a stranger's small hallway. The first option appeared to be less awkward, so I went with it and slowly followed behind Jasper until we stepped into a small nursery.

The wall painted in a light blue gave a contrast to the white baby furniture and right above the crib there was a huge black and white shot of a sleeping baby, Aden. Jasper had sent me this picture before. Aden had only been three days old when it was taken, but from the moment he had been born it was easy to tell that he was Jasper's whole pride.

Tearing my eyes away from the peaceful picture, Alyssa came into my focus. She paced the room up and down with Aden in her arms, quietly muttering in Spanish while Aden cried on the top of his lungs, his face completely flushed. When she spotted Jasper the relief on her face was evident, the dark circles under her eyes a clear indicator for her lack of sleep. Jasper quickly crossed the distance to the both, reaching out to gently take Aden from Alyssa's arms.

I wasn't prepared for the emotions coursing through me when I saw for the first time how Jasper cradled his little boy in his arms. My chest constricted as I saw the both of them together, it seemed so right, but before I could contemplate it any further Jasper's voice disrupted my inner musings.

"Shh, all will be well," he murmured before he shifted his attention back to Alyssa. "This is Edward."

"Shit," she cursed lowly. "I'm sorry to interrupt your arrival, but it's nice to meet you, Edward."

"Likewise," I smiled. "Don't worry please, we have plenty of time left, I understand."

"Make yourself at home, boys. I'm in desperate need of a shower if you'll excuse me," she said, her nose wrinkling a little as she took in her own appearance.

"Actually, I thought it a good idea to take Aden with me for the night at least," Jasper offered. "You can catch up on sleep and relax a little; what do you think?"

Alyssa contemplated the offer for a moment, but her fatigue seemed to conquer the anguish of leaving her child out of sight for the night. Nodding, she held her hands out to take Aden. "Let me say good night to him. And I hope to meet you again soon, Edward."

"I'm sure we will," I smiled. "Should we fix up the back seat, Jasper?"

"Ah right, there are your suitcases still," he agreed. "Let's see how we can make some space."

Walking back outside we tried to force the second suitcase in together with the other one in the trunk, but all fumbling appeared hopeless. The trunk was simply too small to fit both of them.

"Would you mind sitting in the back with Aden?" Jasper asked. "We could put the suitcase on the front seat; it's the only thing I can think of."

"No problem," I encouraged. "Shall I grab the child's seat from Alyssa while you rearrange everything?"

"Please," he muttered, already absorbed into rearranging everything to have enough space for the child's seat.

Going back inside, I called out for Alyssa since I wasn't going to wander around her apartment until I found the seat on my own, but she didn't reply. Instead I heard her distantly hissing in Spanish. Following the sound of her voice I found her in the nursery still. Aden was strapped into his seat while Alyssa was angrily hissing into her phone.

"Hijo de la chingada," she growled and as expletives were always the easiest to learn in any language, it was no problem for me to understand that she just called the person on the other end a son-of-a-bitch.

I didn't want to risk being caught eavesdropping and called her name again, this time catching her attention as she came walking out of the room with Aden only seconds later. She looked as if nothing had happened, which only bothered me more.

"Could you bring the bag I packed?" She asked timidly, all her previous anger with the phone call suddenly vanished as she smiled at me.

"Sure thing," I answered, fetching the bag and walking back outside together with her.

Jasper just finished closing the front door as we stepped outside and once Aden was safely strapped into the car and Alyssa kissed his forehead good bye we were back on our way to Jasper's. The sun started to set when we arrived back at the apartment and even Aden had calmed down a little with the rocking motion of the car, but as soon as we exited it, his cries started up again.

Carrying my suitcases and Aden's bag inside, I left it to Jas to bring Aden in. I brought the baby bag into the nursery, setting foot into it for the first time and to say I was surprised would be an understatement. It, too, was held in hues of blue and white furniture, but the ceiling was covered in hundreds of little lights. Every available space on the walls covered with various black and white pictures of Aden.

It was without question the most thoughtful nursery I had ever laid eyes on; and again I was captured by my emotions going haywire. Every detail of the room spoke of Jasper's love for his son. Shaking my head to clear it of the whirlwind of thoughts, I made my way back to find Jasper pacing in the living room with Aden.

"Could you look after him for a little while I try to whip up something to eat for us?" he asked.

"Of course," I said softly, stepping up to Jasper to take the little guy into my arms. "Hello there, little man. I'm your uncle Edward."

Jasper stood motionless for a moment, starring at me with an unreadable expression on his face before he wandered into the kitchen, a beautiful smile playing on his lips.

Utterly clueless as how to calm Aden, I started to pace the room as I'd seen Jasper and Alyssa do. It quieted him down a little, but the cries never stopped altogether. Out of nowhere I remembered that children often liked humming and thought myself an idiot for not thinking of it sooner; music was my thing after all, it should've been the first thought on my mind.

I quietly started to sing "All the Pretty Little Horses" to the little boy in my arms and was quite surprised to find his cries quieting down further. It was the only song I could still remember from my own childhood and when I finished the song I resumed humming random melodies.

I had no feeling for the time as I grew tired myself; jet lag finally catching up with me. Lying back down against the huge, comfortable couch I kept humming even when I found Aden fast asleep against my chest, securely nestled in my arms. The last thing I remembered was how proud I was for calming him down enough to sleep before conscious overcame me, too.

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**AN:**

**Hey guys, I'm sorry that I failed to answer the last reviews, but know that I read them and appreciated each of them. Been a little short on time and I figured you'd rather the next chapter :o) On the bright side, my midterms are over, yey! More time to write!**

**Let me know what you though, good and bad! Don't be so harsh on Alyssa, she serves a break, no? ;)**

**Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for getting this beta'd in no time, you simply rock! Leave her some love and on second thought… me too :)**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill =]. I merely own the storyline.**

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**JPOV**

Smiling to myself, I chopped the several ingredients which I would need to cook dinner. I had been happy to discover that there was everything at the apartment to make lasagna – one of Edward's favorites. After all I had to make up for our earlier interruption and cooking his favorite dish seemed like a good place to start.

I could faintly hear Edward humming to Aden as I worked and contemplated to check on my boys but from the sound of it Edward handled everything without a problem. Aden's cries stopped and I had been baffled to find out that Edward was a natural with kids; it was a whole new side of him.

When I saw him cradle my son carefully in his arms, I was surprised by the intensity of the feelings surging through me in that very moment. My chest still swelled with emotions, as I could picture this as our future with a perfect clarity; Edward calming our son while I cooked us dinner. I sincerely hoped that it was a future which we could call ours at one point in our lives.

I was almost done with cooking, only the lasagna needed to be placed in the oven just as Edward's humming, which had grown quieter while I worked, ceased all together. I quickly set the right temperature for the oven, wiped my hands on a towel and made my way back to the living room – only to be greeted by the picture of perfection.

Edward was lying back against the couch as he held Aden securely to his chest, both of them fast asleep. Tiptoeing to my bedroom, I silently grabbed my camera, afraid to make any noise that would wake them up. They looked so peaceful that it would have been a shame to let this moment pass without saving it forever in the form of a picture. I quickly snapped a couple of shots from various angles, before setting the camera down on the coffee table.

I was so absorbed as I stared at my boys that I was startled out of my thoughts by Aden's soft mewling sounds; it was the cutest thing and a clear indicator for me that he soon would wake up hungry and demand his milk on top of his lungs. Hurriedly I extracted him from Edward's arms, hoping that Aden wouldn't wake him up, he deserved to catch a little rest.

Preparing a bottle with one hand had definitely become easier in the past weeks and after a couple of minutes, Aden was silently drinking his bottle. There was no crying and even when he had finished and I changed his diaper and placed him in his crib, there wasn't the slightest sound; he simply fell back asleep. The previous crying fit, which had lasted through the better part of the day and most of last night, had obviously done a number on him as well.

Turning on the little, twinkle stars on the ceiling and the baby phone, I gently closed the door behind me and retreated back to the kitchen to check on our dinner. Starting to clean up the mess I had made earlier while I waited for the lasagna to finish, I wondered if I should let Edward sleep a while longer, but it probably wouldn't help him with his jet lag.

I still hadn't decided by the time the kitchen was clean and dinner was ready. It wasn't necessary anymore either because just as I placed the lasagna on the table, I felt Edward's strong arms wrap around my waist; his body flush against my neck and his face nuzzling my neck sweetly.

"Mhmm, delicious," he breathed deeply.

"I hoped to make it up to you a little for our interruption earlier with a favorite of yours," I explained, turning in his arms to face him.

"Who was talking about food?" He smirked. "But you are my favorite alright."

And just like that I was hard. The lack of physical contact coupled with his teasing was enough to accomplish this feat in mere seconds; my body felt like it would be consumed by need. Instead of answering, I simply crashed my lips to his and feeling his soft lips move against mine, his tongue sweeping against my lower lip, sent my hormones over the edge. I needed to have him, right now.

"Bedroom," I panted, breaking away from his lips.

Lacing my fingers through his, I led the way to the bedroom, only pausing to grab the baby phone while I mentally prayed that nobody would interrupt us this time; my groin wouldn't be able to handle that.

I placed the baby phone on the dresser before I returned my attention to Edward; his eyes were dark with lust as his gaze fixated on my lips although he made no attempt to kiss me again. Stalking towards me, his hands slipped under the hem of my shirt before he pulled it over my head and dropped it to the floor, his followed suit seconds later.

His fingertips, feather light, stroked over my upper body and my muscles eagerly strained in anticipation as he moved to unbutton my jeans. He didn't waste any more time, pulling them down together with my boxer shorts to let his eyes rake over my naked form and for once I was the impatient one. I needed to feel his skin against mine, I didn't want to wait another moment and swiftly rid him off his jeans as well.

Then finally his lips were back on mine, his hands stroking over every part of my body they could reach while I guided our bodies to my bed. When I felt it knock against the back of my knees, I pulled him down with me until he was on top and I could enjoy feeling his body flush against mine, with his erection pressing firmly into my own.

It felt like heaven to have him in such a close proximity to me and only now I realized how much I had truly missed him in the past months. All the stress at work and Aden's birth had easily overshadowed my feelings, but I couldn't deny anymore how much my body and mind craved him.

Turning us on our sides, his hands started to explore every inch of skin and I gladly followed his lead to reacquaint myself with every part of his body. Every birthmark and little scar was rediscovered as our hands wandered. There was none of the heated urgency from earlier; instead there were gentle caresses and loving strokes.

All rational thoughts left my brain though when one of his hands slid over my cock from base to tip until he found a steady rhythm. His other hand was thumbing over my nipples until my back arched all on its own to bring me even closer to Edward's probing hands. My mouth was firmly attached to his, only breaking away to breathe, but that was already too much of a separation. I wished I could crawl into him and never leave again.

For now though I settled with stroking the hard planes of his body; his shoulder, pecs and six pack until my fingers met the soft hair of his happy trail which was a definite favorite of him as it led straight to what I desired. My hand closed around his hard length causing him to moan breathlessly into my mouth; it sounded like the sweetest music to my ears.

"I want to bury myself in you," Edward groaned against my lips, his voice sounding rough and edgy; so incredibly sexy.

"What are you waiting for then?" I teased. Rolling onto my other side, I grabbed a condom and bottle of lube before turning back to him. I handed him the lube while I ripped the condom package open myself and rolled it over his erection before I leaned back on my elbows and watched him apply the lube to his fingers. Only by watching him I seemed to grow impossibly harder. His green eyes appeared almost black in the darkness of the room and probably just like my own they were filled with lust and love.

Spreading my legs, he kneeled in between them and when his finger gently penetrated me for the first time in months, a heavy breath that I wasn't even aware of holding, escaped my lips. Moan after moan fell from my lips as he stretched me and before too long, two of his fingers were moving in and out of me in a swift rhythm that left me squirming in front of him. He was teasing and we both knew it. Good for me that I knew as well which of his buttons I needed to push to make him follow through on his teasing sooner than he probably intended.

"Edward," I breathed. "Make me yours again. Please."

Suddenly all his ministrations stopped and he was on top of me, his face mere inches from mine. "Not playing fair, are we?"

"Who said that I had to play fair?" I asked grinning, but as soon as the words left my mouth, Edward's lips were on mine in a heated kiss.

Faster than I would've liked he pulled away again, his gaze locking on mine with a beautiful smirk gracing his face. "Remember, babe," he said between pants. "Payback's a bitch."

My mind hadn't even time to fully register what he meant when the tip of his cock penetrated me and with another smooth motion he was fully seated in me. His eyes held mine to watch for any sign of distress, though there surely weren't any to be found. I had almost forgotten how completely he used to fill me; right now it seemed like the best feeling in the world.

Edward, too, must've seen that I wasn't in the least uncomfortable because his hips finally started to move; slow, languid motions, clearly meant to drive me insane with want.

He nuzzled my neck, sucking and biting his way to my ear lobe while my hands knotted in his unruly hair. "I love you," he whispered, speaking out loud what our touches had already been saying. Reaching down between us, he gripped my erection tightly and started to stroke it in time with his hips.

"I love you, too," I groaned; stringing together a whole sentence, no matter how short, almost seemed like an impossible feature as his every touch drove me closer and closer to the edge. The familiar pressure was already building in me and I knew that wouldn't last much longer.

"Darlin'," I panted. "I'm so close."

"Come for me," Edward growled against my neck, speeding up his thrusts. "Let go."

Listening to him, my body bucked against his as my muscles jerked when my orgasm hit me harder than ever in the previous weeks without him so close by. "Yours, Edward," I moaned. "Only yours."

My words coupled with my clenching muscles were enough to bring him over the edge with me. Biting his shoulder hard, his groans were muffled against my skin as he pulled out of me and came all across my stomach. Stilling his body he collapsed on top of me; a weight I happily welcomed. Both our chests were heaving, our bodies covered in a sheen of sweat, but I was too contently tired and happy to even contemplate moving a single finger.

"Thanks for dinner, baby," Edward laughed once our breathing had returned to normal.

"You are very welcome," I replied chuckling. "We should probably get cleaned up."

"We should," he agreed, lifting himself off me and before I could follow, he added, "Stay here, I'll only be one minute."

I relaxed back into the pillow, the fatigue from the long day catching up with me. Yet I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to miss a single minute I could spend with Edward. Appearing back in the bedroom, he started to clean our mess off my body with a warm, wet towel and tender caresses. Once he was done, he dropped the towel onto the floor and joined me in bed. Covering our naked bodies with a thin sheet, I gathered him in my arms.

We lay quietly for a couple of moments until I quietly started to speak, "Edward, why did you pull away from me?"

I hoped that I hadn't ruined our peace with the question but it was something that had bothered me for weeks and I really wanted it out of the way in the beginning of our time together. That way we had the rest of the time for ourselves without anything standing in our way. Edward though appeared to be genuinely confused by my question and I wondered if I maybe had been paranoid after all.

"You have been a lot quieter during our phone calls," I clarified. "You were withdrawing from me and I keep thinking that it must have something to do with me."

Sighing he shook his head, "It's silly, really."

"Tell me anyway," I demanded.

"It's more about me than you," he started to explain. "When Aden was born, it was this whole new side of your life that I couldn't be part of. No matter what I did, the thoughts about this kept coming back and I felt guilty for being jealous of a baby in the first place; I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," I soothed, running my hand through his hair. "But yes, you _are_ silly. When I saw you holding Aden earlier as you hummed to him and then the both of you asleep, all I could think about was the thought of having this kind of future with you."

Angling his head towards me, I could see tears forming in his eyes, despite the breathtaking smile taking over across his face. "You are serious, aren't you?" he asked, a disbelieving tone to his voice.

"Silly man," I chuckled and kissed him tenderly. "You are all and more I could ever want for the rest of my life."

"Thank you," he whispered almost inaudibly and nestled back into my arms.

"You are welcome," I replied just as softly.

Silence took over the room then and before too long Edward's breathing evened out and he fell asleep. I wasn't ready to let unconscious claim me just yet though, not if I could enjoy having Edward back in my arms. There were so many details I never wanted to miss again; his rough stubble slightly scratching my skin where his head rested on my chest, the way his body melted against mine or how his arm and leg were possessively wrapped around my torso as if I would ever walk away from him willingly.

Awaking to Aden's cries over the baby monitor it felt like it was only seconds ago that I had been lulled to sleep by Edward's soft snores. I entangled myself from Edward, who seemed to be gifted with the sleep of the death, as fast and quietly as possible to retrieve Aden from his crib. Thankfully, unlike the previous day, he calmed down once I held him in my arms.

Waiting for Aden's bottle to warm up, I put the lasagna in the fridge; a shame really but the alternative had been so much better and the food would still be edible tomorrow. Just after Aden's bottle reached the right temperature, I sat down in the recliner to feed him and watched the sun come up; with a little luck Aden would go back to sleep without a fuss and I could go back to bed for a while longer as well. I certainly wouldn't mind to go back to the warmth of my bed holding a currently sleeping Edward.

When Aden finished his milk, I walked up and down the living room with him until he burped. I didn't have to worry though, after a fresh change of diapers, I walked with Aden a couple of rounds through the apartment. I had discovered that the movement often helped him immensely to go back to sleep; not even twenty minutes later he was in a deep slumber.

Laying him down in his crib, I simply stood there for a moment watching my son. On some days it was still a hard concept, but on the majority of the days I was filled with pride. I felt like I would never tire of talking about my little boy. The first time I'd told my mother about these feelings, we had an 'I told you so' argument. Even though she meanwhile agreed that a father should be with his child, I now understand how she felt about me leaving.

I couldn't wait to visit her, Esme, and Carlisle; the thought about fussing over Aden brought a huge smile to my face. Between them, my friends, and Alyssa's parents our kid would be spoiled rotten – like every child should be.

With these positive thoughts on my mind, I went back to join Edward for a little longer in bed. Now we only needed to find a way that I could have both of my boys in my life permanently and even more important, in close proximity.

* * *

**AN:**

**Hey guys!**

**Hope you enjoyed this little tidbit of fluff; our boys certainly deserved it ;) No Alyssa this time because you guys seem to dislike her enough already :P. Don't be too happy yet though, she'll be back in the next chapter! Let me know your thoughts - good and bad, like always!**

**Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for being the awesome person that she is and beta'ing all my stuff; also thanks for the reassurances – it means a lot to me :). Leave her (and me ;)) some love!**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill =]. I merely own the storyline.**

* * *

**EPOV**

I woke up to the sun filtering through the window and took a moment to realize that I wasn't in my bed in Seattle; no I was in Jasper's bed in Spain. His body was tightly wrapped around mine with him still fast asleep. Sighing contently, I looked at the man next to me. His skin had now a golden tan which made him almost glow and even in his sleep there was a small smile playing on his lips. I watched his back rise and fall, in an almost hypnotizing rhythm, with each breath he took; to me, he was perfection.

The warmth emanating from him pressed against my skin and in that moment I was completely convinced that not even heaven could be better. Simply lying there with him, the stress from the past weeks without him seemed to dissipate. Nonetheless I detangled myself from him gently, ignoring how every cell in my body screamed at me to stay by his side.

Judging by the shirt he had put on at some point last night, he had been awake to look after Aden and I wanted to let him sleep a little longer; the unclean baby bottle on the living room table only confirmed my thoughts further. I had taken the baby monitor with me, in case Aden woke up while I prepared breakfast. Cooking eggs and bacon, I was reminded about our first date and wondered what he had done with the pictures I had given him back then.

With a mental note to ask him about it later, I kept filling a tray with food until nothing would fit anymore; fruit, toast, coffee, orange juice, eggs and not to forget the bacon. Grabbing the baby monitor, I carried the tray to the bedroom, where Jasper was still sprawled across the middle of the bed, the sheets twisted around his bare legs.

He had definitely a backside one could admire for hours, but I quickly pushed these thoughts aside; I didn't want to be the cause if our food turned cold again. I still felt slightly guilty over the lasagna yesterday. Setting the tray down on the bedside table, I crawled onto the bed and ran my hands over his shoulder.

When there wasn't a single reaction, I started to rub more firmly. This time I was rewarded with a quiet hum as his breathing changed. Even though he never opened his eyes, I was a hundred percent positive that he was awake, I kept massaging his back for another couple of minutes before I trailed kisses along his neck and whispered, "Time to get up, sleepyhead."

"Mhmm, you made coffee," he mumbled, burying his head into the pillow. "And it smells amazing; I love you."

"I see how it is," I chuckle. "I feed you and the declarations of love just keep tumbling out of you."

"Hasn't anyone ever told you, babe?" he drawled. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Always has, always will."

"I suppose it's a good thing then that I prepared half a feast," I joked, slapping his ass lightly. "Now get up so we can eat before Aden wakes up."

Yawning, he complied and sat up, propped against the wall. "He's sleeping over four hours already," he said after checking the clock on his bedside table. "That must be a new record."

"Nonsense," I argued, grinning. "He's being nice so that Uncle Edward can woo his daddy properly.

"May I should tell Uncle Edward that I already consider myself properly wooed," he told me with twinkling eyes. "I really appreciate the food though."

Instead of answering I simply pulled him against me to kiss him good morning. His soft, warm lips moved against mine before his tongue swept across my lower lip. This was definitely the kind of morning I could get used to; at least until Jasper's growling stomach interrupted us.

Breaking away, I laughed at the pout gracing his face. "Come on, let's eat now," I repeated. "There'll be plenty more of this later on; I promise."

Finally giving in, he grabbed one plate for himself and handed me the other one as we started to eat in comfortable silence. Neither of us seemed to feel the need to fill the silence with unnecessary chatter, instead we enjoyed our rediscovered companionship; only our eyes looked every so often as we smiled at each other. We were almost done when Aden's whimpers over the baby monitor broke the silence.

"Shall I get him while you fix a bottle?" I asked because the alternative of me fixing the bottle could easily turn into a disaster; especially seeing that I didn't have a clue how to prepare a bottle for a baby.

"Please," he whispered as I watched a breathtaking smile spread across his face. The conversation from last night came back to my mind and just like last night, my chest swelled with pride when I recalled his words. He wanted us to be a real family, not just lovers anymore. Not only had he erased most of my fears about being left behind, but he also made me realize how much I wanted to have a family with him as well.

Lifting Aden from his crib, his soft cries died down by the time we reached the kitchen where Jasper was testing the bottle's temperature on his wrist. He was clad only in boxer shorts and a wife beater, yum. My mind instantly conjured up images of him pressed against the kitchen counter, but the little guy squirming in my arms reminded me pretty quickly that there was no time for this kind of thoughts right now.

When Jasper noticed me standing in the doorframe, he gestured towards the living room and told me, "Go ahead, I'll be there in a minute."

Doing as I was told, I sat down on the sofa only to have Aden start up his cries again. He obviously liked walking around more than simply sitting here. Before I could even attempt to calm him though, Jasper joined us.

"Do you want to or shall I?" he asked, holding up the bottle.

"No, uhh… you do it," I answered, stumbling over the words a little. As comfortable as I felt around Aden, I was still slightly worried that I would do something wrong. Jasper took him from my arms and settled him down in his before he sat down next to me.

"Hungry little man, are you?" he cooed, holding the bottle to Aden's pink, little lips; he instantly latched onto it. It was mesmerizing to watch and I wasn't prepared for the soaring of my heart, which seemed to want nothing more, but to build a family with Jasper right in this instant. The two of them looked so adorable together, I simply couldn't look away. There was such a tender expression on Jasper's face when he concentrated solely on his son; I wouldn't want to miss a second of it.

Both of us silently watched Aden's impatient drinking and faster than I thought possible he had drained the bottle. Jasper waited a couple of minutes before he began to pace up and down in the living room until Aden burped. Turning to me, he asked, "Would you mind looking after him while I do the dishes from breakfast?"

"Be serious, I'll do them."

"But you already cooked it," he protested.

"And made the mess," I interrupted before he could talk further. "I'm quite capable of cleaning my own mess; spend some time with your son."

"Thank you," he said quietly and pressed his lips against mine lightly for a short peck. "Would you like to see a little more of Spain later today?"

"Of course, I would go everywhere with you," I smiled and went to retrieve the dishes from the bedroom to start cleaning the mess I had made in the kitchen. I was just about to be done when I heard Jasper talking on the phone to presumably Alyssa, promising to bring Aden over around noon.

I wondered if he could stay a little longer with us because I really wanted to spend more time with him and learn how to do things properly; heating the bottle, feeding him, bathing him and even changing his diapers.

"Hey, I'm gonna take a shower, alright?" I asked Jasper after I was done with the kitchen.

His thought process was transparent as I watched his eyes darken with lust before he nodded in agreement. Stripping out of my shirt, I walked away with my ass waggling exaggeratingly and laughed when I caught Jasper's grumbles about me being a tease.

Standing in the shower, I hummed to myself while the warm water cascaded down my body and washed away the remaining stickiness from last night; the thought alone of last night had me rock hard. Thinking back, I remembered the last time I was in exactly the same predicament while showering; Jasper had interrupted my shower and we ended up having phone sex for the first time. Sadly enough, there was no chance of finding release together with Jasper this time though, he was after all still looking after Aden.

I continued washing myself and just as I wanted to switch the water to cold to help with the situation I found myself in, the bathroom door opened. Jasper didn't say a word as he banged around in the bathroom, only when he slid the glass door of the shower stall opened, it occurred to me what he was doing – he was going to join me after all. I was still facing the shower wall and more or less frozen to the spot when Jasper's arms wrapped around me.

"Thank god that babies need so much sleep," he whispered against my neck as I felt him equally aroused against my backside. "I've dreamt about this since our first phone call."

There wasn't much time for my brain to register what was happening before my hands were spread against the cold tiles as Jasper's hands moved over my ass and one, apparently lubed, finger slid into me. He chuckled deeply at my choice of curse words, but damn if the bastard didn't come prepared.

This was almost too much, the cold tiles against my front and the hot water caressing every inch of skin that Jasper didn't cover while his finger moved in and out of me in a rapid rhythm. My moans echoed through the room and in an attempt to lessen the noise so we wouldn't wake up Aden, I bit down on my lip hard. Jasper knew no mercy though, his free hand wrapped around my cock and the last rational thought fled my brain when his teeth grazed over my neck and the desire amplified.

"I need you," I rasped, my body racked by a shiver.

For once he didn't tease me mercilessly and his erection filled me, something I was immensely grateful for, seeing how I wouldn't have been able to take much more without exploding on the spot. After letting me adjust for a moment, he started to move with me once I pushed my ass into him. I was really desperate to find my release at this point and more than happy when his thrusts sped up.

"Won't last much longer," I grunted.

"Neither will I," Jasper gasped loudly, his mouth dragging over my upper back, exactly where my tattoo was located. "The damn ink drives me fucking insane every time."

The words had barely left his mouth when one of his hands closed of my nipple as if he just remembered the nipple piercing I had gotten. He gave them a hard twist and it was all I needed to trigger my orgasm. The tremors coursed through my body and two thrusts later, Jasper's release followed; our bodies shaking together as his face buried in my neck. At least I wasn't the only one blowing my load so fast.

Standing still for a few moments, we waited for our breathing to return to a less alarming speed and started to wash each other. There weren't any words, only tender strokes and languid caresses; a complete opposite from the fast paced sex that had just occurred. No matter how different though, nothing today could wipe the smug grin off my face anymore. Last night we had made love, sweet and slow. Today it was rough sex, hurried and filled with passion and need. What else could a man ask for?

Even after the shower was turned off, the gentle touches remained as we dried each other off and slipped into our clothes. It was sad to see so much of him covered up; if I could, I would definitely make him walk around naked all day long. On second thought though, it might only be a good idea when we stayed at home and since we planned on visiting Alyssa, he should probably keep his clothes on.

Packing Aden's things, we filed into the car and made our way to Alyssa's. It was a rather quiet drive except that I proposed the idea of Aden staying with us a little longer. Jasper smiled, telling me that I'd get to see much more of his son in my remaining time here. The happiness radiating from him told me though that he was truly pleased with my question.

Arriving at Alyssa's place she was genuinely happy to have her baby back, but she seemed off somehow; I couldn't place what it was though. She probably had worried, as many first time moms did, about being away from her child this long for the first time. Maybe it was what Jasper thought to be a depression; I didn't really know much about these things.

In the thirty minutes we'd been there she was often in thought unless she was taking care of Aden, she was always a hundred percent there when it came to him. With horror, another thought evaded my mind, what if she's actually in love with Jasper? Could it be the reason why she appeared to be so depressed at times? My horrifying thought temporarily disappeared though when Alyssa's top rode up and I saw the enormous bruise on her hip.

"Sweet Jesus, what the hell did you do, Alyssa?" I gasped, pointing to her hip and watched confusion take over her features until she looked down to see what I pointed at.

"Oh, that," she shrugged, rolling her eyes. "When I woke up after twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep I panicked, thinking that something happened to Aden until I realized he was with you. By then I had already ran against the dresser though."

"You need to sleep more, Alyssa," Jasper said, concerned. "The next time you call me earlier, promise?"

"Alright," she agreed. "It's only half as bad as it looks though, I had already forgotten about it."

There was an awkward moment before Alyssa, trying to break the silence, spoke up again, "Mama told me to invite the both of you to dinner tonight, what do you think?"

"As much as I love your mother's cooking, we already have other plans," Jas explained. "Tell her thanks though and that we will definitely visit another time."

"She'll be sad, but I'm sure she'll understand," Alyssa assured him.

They talked a little longer about Alyssa's parents until Jasper announced our leave, but not until Alyssa promised again to call if Aden kept her awake this long without a break. Saying our goodbyes' to her and Aden, Jasper drove us to the Center of Barcelona where he wanted to start out the personalized sightseeing tour.

He showed me his favorite restaurants and shops, even his work building. Wandering through the streets with him, I could easily picture him doing this alone. Though he probably simply wandered without a real destination as he photographed whatever caught his eyes. The city was fairly big, buzzing with life and while I enjoyed seeing more of it, I couldn't wait to see the sights in Spain's smaller towns. The narrow streets, lined with cozy shops which were filled with souvenirs, held the real appeal to me.

"Hungry?" Jasper asked as we walked past another of his favorite restaurants. Only now I realized that we had spent hours walking around and nodded frantically; it was definitely time for dinner.

The waiter seated us at a table in the garden and I could easily see why Jasper liked it here so much. It was a mix of a perfect groomed garden and the most colorful wildflowers; it was breathtaking. Reading the card turned out harder though, seeing how it was in Spanish. Jasper solved this problem though, insisting that I had to try paella, a definite national dish.

This didn't turn out to be the best decision though. Starring at the plate in front of me, I frowned and asked, "What the hell Jasper? There are mini octopuses on my plate. You can't mean for me to eat them?"

"Just try them," he insisted, picking one up with his fork. "They are really good."

Mesmerized, my eyes followed the fork as it made its way to Jasper's mouth. "Ew, dude. You just ate something with suction heads."

The rest of the dinner went in a similar manner, me being weirded out by the things in my food and Jasper teasing me about it. I was quite glad to leave the place when we were done. I thought we were going back to Jasper's place but even I, not being from here, recognized we were driving in the wrong direction.

"Where are we going?" I wondered out loud.

"That's going to be a surprise," Jas smirked while I simply rolled my eyes at him. Unlike him I could wait a couple of minutes to see where we are going and once we arrived I was really glad about it, too.

We had stopped at a beach, and after a ten minute walk and some light climbing, we reached a small bay; completely secluded. Opening the backpack, Jasper had brought from the car, he produced two blankets; one he lay down on the sand and gestured for me to sit on it, the other he placed next to me.

Instead of sitting with me though, he fussed around the small bay. I was curious to see what he was up to when he withdrew a couple of pieces of wood between some rocks. Only now did I noticed the small stone circle in front of us and watched in silence as Jasper arranged the pieces of wood before lighting them. The ease with which he did this, told me that it wasn't the first time he was here and not fifteen minutes later, we had our own small bonfire.

"Doing this often, are you? I asked, when he sat down behind me.

Pulling me back into his chest, he wrapped the blanket around both of us. "Yes, I like to come here to think, it's my favorite place."

"Thanks for sharing it," I whispered, leaning my head against his chest, my eyes fixed on the small flames as they danced in front of us and the dark ocean behind it. I enjoyed the light breeze around us while the waves ran out onto the beach and created a gentle background music.

Kissing my neck he answered, "I'd share the world with you if I could. I love you, darlin'."

"I love you, too," I murmured.

* * *

**AN:**

**Didn't come out as I planned but oh well ;) Who can turn away from a shower quickie? :D**

**Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy as always. And thanks to you guys for all the kind reviews and PMs, I truly appreciate them even if I didn't get around to answer them all (I spent every free minute the past week drawing on my uncle's wall, then there's the two jobs and yadda yadda… ya know Real life ;)). But know that I read them all and each one made my day! Let me know your thoughts about the chapter, good and bad; like always :).**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**JPOV**

Time seemed to run away and with each passed day the panic about Edward's departure rose. At first I had avoided the thought of him leaving like the plaque, but now that there was one week left 'till he would be sitting in a plane back to the states, the thoughts crept into my mind every chance they got; there was no avoiding it.

I feared a worse breakdown than the first time around and not only for me either. We had managed to find a comfortable balance in spending time with Aden and time we had for ourselves; yet all too soon it would be ripped away from us again.

It was almost like playing house, only that it felt too real to be a game; we had turned into a real little family. Edward was more than eager to learn everything about Aden and kids in general, it was adorable. Every time I saw the two of them together, my heart felt like it might burst with love. It gave me the hope that our relationship would be fine, at least once we found a solution for our fucked up living situation.

Edward often had quiet moments and even though I wondered what was going on in his mind, I trusted him to talk to me when he was ready. I recalled the phone call when he told me about his breakdown at the airport and sincerely hoped, for both our sakes that the outcome wouldn't be as gloom this time around.

From weekly phone calls with Carlisle and Esme, I knew how much they worried about their son. Despite being honest and open with me on the phone, it seemed that he still was withdrawing from the other people in his life. It was nothing I could help them with though, it had to be Edward's decision to make changes and let them back in his life. He'd probably block up more if he felt pressured and we had already come too far; I wouldn't be able to handle it if he blocked me out, too.

First things first though. Today was Friday and Edward was complaining for me to hurry up. We were about to pick up Aden and Edward was beyond giddy. After Aden's day long crying fit two weeks ago, Alyssa and I had agreed that every Friday Aden would spend the night with me and Alyssa had some time for herself. The car ride to her place was quiet, although Edward seemed to vibrate in his seat with excitement.

"Darlin', you act like you are five years old and I'm about to pick up your best friend for a play date, should I be offended?" I chuckled as I parked in Alyssa's driveway.

"You'll see tonight," he shrugged, his whole face lighting up with a smile. "There might be a little surprise."

Shaking my head, I lead the way to Alyssa's apartment, I knew it would be useless to ask him anymore about his plans; he wouldn't tell me. At the door we were greeted by a very annoyed looking Alyssa. Taking Aden from her arms, I asked, "Somethin' happened, sweets?"

"I wanted to go grocery shopping earlier, but my car wouldn't start," she explained. "I called my usual mechanic, but he won't have time to fix it before Monday."

"I can take a look. I'm not the best mechanic, but I know a thing or two," I offered. "It's worth a try and if I can't fix it, we can take you shopping, sounds good?"

"Thanks, Jasper. The car is parked behind the building," she smiled and handed me the keys before she gestured for Edward to follow her. "Come on, I'll make us a coffee."

Kissing Aden on the forehead, I handed him back to Alyssa and made my way back to Alyssa's blue VW which was neatly parked behind the house. Trying to start the car first, the motor stuttered a few times, but nothing more happened. Looking through the tool box, which luckily still lay in my car from renovating Aden's room, I decided to test the battery first; it would be the easiest explanation. The battery was okay though and completely connected.

Checking the fuses, they too were all in their proper places and working, but I noticed a cable and a tube which stood oddly in the air and seemed to be damaged. Even though I had found the error now, I couldn't do anything about it because I had nothing to repair the two pieces with nor new ones to exchange them.

Locking the car up again, I picked up my tool box and made my way back to the apartment where I was met by the frowning faces of Edward and Alyssa. Huh, I was gone for a maximum twenty minutes, what could have possibly happened in such a short time to justify their grim faces. Alyssa was staring in her coffee cup, her eyebrows drawn together while Edward was leaning over Aden's portable crib, cooing lowly. His voice was gentle, but his face was the exact opposite from his earlier giddiness.

"There is a cable and a tube broken," I said, hoping to diverse some of the tension in the room. "How about you drive us to my place and keep the car till tomorrow?"

"Are you sure?" she asked, her frown lifting slightly.

"'Course, it's the easiest solution, isn't it?" I smiled at her. "You can run your errands and come by tomorrow evening; I'll drive you home again."

"That'd be great," Alyssa said as she stood up and brushed her lips against my check in thanks.

She had already packed a bag for Aden and dropped us off at my place thirty minutes later. Leaving Edward looking over Aden in the living room, I went to put Aden's things away. I pondered if I should inquire what happened between Edward and Alyssa; I doubted that either of them would tell me own their own. Both of them were too stubborn for their own good and had more in common than either of them realized.

Pushing the negative thoughts away, I thought about what to do today. In the past few days Edward and I already visited most of the smaller cities around; Edward seemed to be most interested in them. I had shown him my favorite places, shops and restaurant and whenever his eyes lit up with delight, I allowed the hope to swell in me. It looked like he started to like Spain as much as I did and I hoped that he would warm up to the idea of living here one day.

I figured a day at home with movies and home cooked food might be nice, not only because Aden stayed with us, but also because we had eaten at restaurants all week long. Although remembering Edward's mention about a surprise, I joined my boys in the living room to check with Edward before I made further plans.

I found them lounging in the love seat, Aden safely nestled into Edward's arms as he hummed a foreign melody. Checking the clock, I realized that Aden was probably ready for his nap. They looked almost too peaceful too disturb though.

Sitting with them, I wrapped my arms around Edward and pulled him into my chest. Gently, I smoothed a lock of hair out of his face and felt him relaxing against me as he smiled beautifully, his eyes shining with love; his humming never ceased though. I leaned my cheek on his shoulder and closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling of having him so close to me. It didn't take long before I was on the brim of falling asleep; Edward's rhythmic breathing and the soothing tones from the lullaby he hummed were the most relaxing things I could think of.

"Jasper," he whispered. "Let me lay Aden in his crib and pick up groceries. You take a nap, too."

"Mhmm," I murmured, too tired to protest even in the slightest, "Bring a movie or two, will you?"

"Anything for you, love" he said quietly while I stretched out on the love seat. Leaning down he placed a light kiss against my lips. "Now sleep; I love you."

When I woke up again, the sun was already setting and the air was filled with the second best smell ever; Edward's homemade pizza which was only topped by Edward himself. Scrambling up, I found Edward in the kitchen, crouched down in front of the oven.

"Impeccable timing," he teased once he noticed me standing in the doorway, just looking at him.

"I told you," I grinned. "Food equals love in a man's mind. Is this the surprise you told me about?"

"Never forgetting about a surprise, do you?" he asked, striding towards me, his eyes firmly fixed on mine. "Sorry to say so, but the surprise will take place a little later."

My mind immediately went to the gutter, knowing that with Aden we wouldn't leave the apartment; what better way to surprise me than with something sexual? Upon seeing my expression, laughter bubbled out of Edward. "You've got a one track mind, Jas. Is it always sex and food?" he teased. "It's a surprise for you _and _Aden. Besides, I thought I had tired you out after last night."

"My nap remedied that," I countered and pulled him closer to me, my lips meeting his. My tongue traced his lower lip, causing Edward to groan deeply and push into me before I broke away and continued speaking, "I can never get enough of you, you should know that by now."

"You are such a tease," he muttered. "And unless you want to eat burnt pizza, I should get it out of the oven. There are two movies by the TV, start one while I bring the food and drinks."

Doing as I was told, I found two movies on the table. One I've never heard of before and Sherlock Holmes. Reading the title, childhood memories of Edward and I dressed as Sherlock Holmes and Watson flooded my mind. At the age of eleven we had discovered Sherlock Holmes' adventures in my father's library and both of us wanted to be just like our fictional hero; always out and about solving crimes and nothing, but mischief in between.

Halloween had rolled around and while other kids had dressed as zombies, vampires or pirates, we hadn't given our mothers a minute of peace until we had our desired costumes. Edward as Holmes and me as Watson, we had worn the costumes even way after Halloween. I made a mental note to ask Esme if she could send me a couple of pictures.

Edward soon joined me with two plates filled with pizza and two bottles of beer. Grinning widely when he saw the start screen on the TV telling him that we were watching Sherlock Holmes, he set the plates down in front of us and sat next to me. He opened the beer bottles and handed one to me just as I settled back in the soft cushions and pressed play.

"I couldn't resist when I saw the movie sitting there on the shelf," he explained.

"It was my first thought, too," I admitted, biting into my pizza and good god, it tasted heavenly. I definitely hadn't eaten Edward's homemade pizza in way too long. Basically inhaling the pizza, our mothers would be shocked by our non-existing table manners if they could see us.

The room grew quiet as we got completely captured by the movie's happenings; it was almost like we were eleven years old again. Halfway through the movie, I turned my eyes on Edward. His face wore a look of concentrating as he tried to solve the mystery playing out on the screen together with Robert Downey Junior. I couldn't stop the laughter erupting deep from my belly.

"We are still nerds just like back then, aren't we?" I asked Edward, laughing still.

"Hey speak for yourself," he exclaimed, pouting mockingly. "Now shush, I wanna see this."

"Well, I was going to say that I thought nerds to be seriously hot and irresistible, but since you deny being one…," I trailed off.

"Shut up, Jasper," Edward laughed. "Once the movie is over you can seduce me all you want."

"I'll take you by your word," I murmured quietly before I focused back on the movie. Even though it seemed like a good movie, my mind kept wandering back to Edward. The next Halloween we would get to spend together, I would organize Holmes and Watson costumes; no matter if it would be next year or ten years from now.

When the movie credits started to roll, I leaned in to kiss him soundly on the lips. "Thanks for a wonderful evening."

"You are more than welcome, but the evening is far from over," he replied. His lips crashed back to mine, his tongue sweeping against my lips, asking for entrance which I gladly granted. Our tongues pressed against each other as his hands crept under my shirt, tickling me slightly when his fingertips danced over my stomach to my nipples.

Too soon Edward pulled away, slipped the shirt over my head and dropped it to the floor next to the love seat; his own shirt following only seconds later. Once the offending barriers of fabric between our chests were gone, Edward pushed me on my back until his body covered mine. Without hesitation his lips were back on mine, licking and biting while his fingers wandered to the waistband of my jeans.

His hand moved toward the zipper and I waited for the distinct sound of it opening, finally lifting the confinement of my now too tight jeans. The desired sound never reached my ears though. Edward hadn't gotten the chance to unzip my pants before there were small whimpers coming from the baby phone and as they grew louder by the second, I knew that my sweet child was awake for good and wouldn't fall asleep again.

Burying his head in the crook of my neck Edward sighed deeply, "I swear your son will regret all this cock blocking once he turns a teenager. At the age of twenty-five he'll still be a virgin because whenever he's about to get laid, I'll interrupt him."

"I'm sorry darlin'," I apologized and planted a kiss on his shoulder. I knew it was annoying to keep getting interrupted, but Edward's little outburst had me working hard to suppress the laughter that threatened to bubble out of me.

"C'mon, let's feed the little guy," I said, sitting us up. "Pouting won't make him stop crying."

"I'll get him while you make the bottle," Edward said as he handed me my shirt and put on his own before he disappeared to get Aden. Heating Aden's bottle I marveled again how easily Edward fell into his role with Aden and me.

True to his word he had learned how to change diapers, how to make the bottle and feed Aden. He easily accepted Aden's presence with us and cared for him without being asked. I could only imagine how hard it must've been for him to come to terms with the fears he had told me about.

When the bottle reached the right temperature, I found Edward sitting back on the love seat again, Aden once more in his arms as he told my son a story about a twenty-five year old virgin. Chuckling I handed him the bottle and watched him feed Aden with great care and this time he even managed to make him burp without Aden throwing up all over him.

"Alright, since the little one is changed, fed and burped," Edward said. "It's time for my surprise now. Can you hold him?"

Nodding, I settled Aden in my arms and watched Edward disappear in the bedroom, only to emerge a minute later with his iPod. Connecting it to my iPod home system, he came back to sit with me. This time our sitting positions were reversed though; his arms tightly wrapped around me while I leaned against his chest with Aden in my arms. Closing my eyes contently, I waited for him to explain what was going on.

"It's just something small and even though this is mainly for Aden, you'd probably understand the feelings behind this, "Edward said. "I hope it makes you as happy as me."

His words sunk in and I was ready to question him further when soft piano music poured into the room. The melody of gentle tones carried a happiness and kind of freedom only a child could experience; it knocked the breath right out of me. Tears pooled in my eyes as I thought about Edward writing a song for my son; a song filled with so much love that you had to be deaf to miss it.

"When..?" I whispered awestruck, words failed me.

"I've written it just this week and went to this little studio today to record it," he told me.

"Grocery shopping my ass," I mumbled and angled my head to whisper a soft thank you against his lips.

"Anytime," he replied softly, brushing a tear from my cheek with his thumb. "Just know that even in this short time, I couldn't love Aden more if he was my own son."

Those words were enough to let my tears flow freely. Too chocked up to reply, I simply linked my hand with his and gazed down at Aden as I listened to the rest of the lullaby.

Once the melody quieted down, Edward spoke again, "Here are the sheets. When Aden is a little older I would like to teach him how to play it."

"Thank you," I rasped, my voice raw with emotion. Fingering through the small notebook he had handed me, I tried to calm down enough to ask Edward to play the song again. The universe, like so often, had different plans for us though. Before I could speak my question aloud my cell phone started ringing, interrupting the perfect moment.

"Am I speaking to Mr. Whitlock?" a woman with a Spanish accent asked.

"Yes, who am I speaking to?" I replied frowning, her voice didn't even sound vaguely familiar.

"This is Señora Gomez from the Barcelona Central hospital," the woman explained. "Señorita Alyssa Sanchez has listed you as her emergency contact and we need you to come here as soon as possible. She is in surgery right now."

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**AN:**

**Cock-blocker Aden :D. And by the way, I got no clue about cars, so please bear with me – I needed Jasper gone for a little while so Alyssa and Edward could have a face to face; more on that in the next chapter though . Let me know your thoughts, good and bad. Constructive criticism is always important to me :).**

**I almost forgot again that it was posting day today; life keeps trying to kill me ;). Let's hope I finish the next chapter in time! Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for providing her awesome beta skills; leave her some love. **

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

**Sorry for reuploading the chapter guys! I had a couple of people message me that the chapter couldn't be found. I hope that fixed itself now, if not: let me know please and I'll try to figure out why it doesn't work.  
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EPOV**

After receiving the phone call, Jasper's face turned white as a sheet. The only thing I could gather was that something had happened. Putting two and two together I reached the conclusion that it could only be Alyssa. I listened patiently as he promised to be there shortly and hung up the phone. For a moment he just stood there, not moving a single bone only to erupt in frantic movements seconds later, muttering something about Alyssa and his car.

"Babe, calm down," I said, trying to gain his attention. "Tell me what is wrong, so I can help you figure out what to do."

"Alyssa," he sighed, frustration evident in his voice. "She's in surgery right now, but the hospital didn't say what happened. She had my car though and now I don't know where it is or how to get there or what the fuck is even wrong."

"Alright, go get dressed while I pack things for Aden and call us a cab," I directed in a gentle tone. "The cab will bring us to the hospital where we most likely find out what happened to Alyssa and if it was something about the car we'll know."

Nodding, he started to move towards the bedroom before he came to a stop and snapped around to face me, "But what about Aden?"

"We'll take him with us of course. If there was nothing wrong about the car, I'll see if I can locate it. With a little luck it's still parked at her place," I explained patiently. "I'll pick up the car to drive us home. Aden will be fine; he just woke up, is changed and fed. Plus, you know how much he likes movement such as walking or car rides."

Visibly calmer now he continued to the bedroom and emerged a couple minutes later completely dressed in jeans and a shirt. His arms held another pair of the same items which he handed to me after taking Aden from my arms. Dressing myself, I watched him cooing to Aden quietly and no matter the situation we were in right now, I couldn't stop the feeling of love spread through my body; it had been such a perfect evening until the phone rang.

Barely finishing the thought, I immediately felt guilty. Here I was whining about a ruined evening while Alyssa was in the hospital. As much as I disliked that she was the reason for Jasper to be in Spain, Aden deserved to grow up with his mother around. My thoughts kept straying to the afternoon and my talk with Alyssa.

Jasper wasn't out of the door for even five minutes when the doorbell rang; standing in front of the door was a sleazy looking guy. He was maybe a head shorter than me, but packed some bulk. His black hair was slicked back and his posture practically screamed hostility.

Without understanding a word they said, I guessed this was the guy she had called a bastard over the phone, but there was no other clue to who he was. Spanish words for whore, fag and bastard were flying left and right while I had no idea what to do; just as I was about to interfere, he turned around and was gone. Asking Alyssa what just had happened, she appeared defensive, but couldn't explain a single thing; not that she tried.

No, she had shut down and ignored every single question I asked; in the end I gave up, seeing that I couldn't get a thing out of her. After all I was basically a stranger to her, someone dated by the man she had a child with. I probably wouldn't confide in me either if I were her; the thought that she might still have feelings for Jasper, too, seemed to be a reason against me.

I had debated with myself if I maybe should talk to Jasper, but decided that it was her life and she obviously didn't welcome me to interfere; even if I only wanted to help. I hoped she would go to Jasper herself; telling him about her trouble with this guy. Now she was in the hospital and the guy with his aggressive behavior could very well be the reason for it. I was going into full panic mode when the door bell shook me from my thoughts; the cab was here.

Installing the portable baby seat properly, we all filled into the back seat of the cab. Leaning in to me, Jasper whispered, "Thanks for being here for me, baby."

Lacing my fingers through his, I squeezed his hand to let him know silently that there was no need to thank me. Speaking aloud I said, "Everything will be fine."

He nodded his acknowledgement to my words, but none of the tension left his body, so I let him be for the moment. He was lost in his thoughts and there wasn't anything I could do for him right now until we actually knew what had happened to Alyssa.

The fifteen minute car ride seemed to drag on forever as the cab weaved its way through the early evening traffic; the tension in the air was thick. When we arrived, I paid the driver while Jasper extracted the baby seat from the car. Taking Aden from him, I let Jasper lead the way and for the first time, I heard him speak Spanish perfectly fluent to the receptionist.

The language sounded like pure sex as it was falling from his lips, a fact that had me telling myself that this wasn't the right moment for a boner. Nonetheless I filed this little piece of information away for later use. Shaking my head, I tried to clear it from the sexual haze which invaded my mind, only to find that Jasper finished his conversation and was waiting for me to come along.

Wordlessly I followed him through seemingly endless corridors as we turned left and right till we came to a stop in front of a nurse station. Again I watched Jasper closely as he communicated with a blonde nurse, hopefully getting some information about Alyssa.

Turning to me he shook his head, "She doesn't know anything, we have to wait until she gets a chance to talk to a doctor."

"Let's head over there then," I said and tugged on his hand for him to walk to the waiting area with me. This would probably be the most agonizing part; waiting for someone to tell us what was going on. I hoped, for Aden's and even more for Jasper's sake, that they would make it a short wait. Sitting down next to me, his knee was bouncing rapidly as his free hand restlessly raked through his hair; more signs of his nervousness.

The minutes came and went and the bouncing rhythm of Jasper's knee increased steadily. At some point, he got up and started pacing. The time appeared to crawl backwards instead of forward and I was surprised to find that only forty minutes had passed when a doctor walked towards us.

Again, there was a lot of Spanish of which I didn't understand a single word. Instead I focused on Aden who started fussing in his seat. Taking him into my arms, I gently rocked him as I told him all would be well; soon he'd be back in the arms of his mommy.

"She got mugged by 4 or 5 people," Jasper stated immediately once the doctor left. "She was walking from the front door to the car, or the other way I guess when it happened. She was lucky that one of her neighbors saw it and called the police and ambulance right away. She had severe internal bleeding which had to be fixed first thing; next they will have to fix her completely shattered left arm."

Stroking the back of his hand with my thumb, I watched him close his eyes, gathering strength before he kept on speaking, "The doctor said that if she survived the night she would make it, but until then all bets are off. It's also a possibility that they induce coma so that her body can heal faster. "

"I suppose you are going to stay here?" I wondered.

"I'm not sure," Jasper mumbled. "I can't do anything for her being here and Aden needs to be taken care of."

"Don't be stupid, Jasper," I interrupted. "Of course I'll take care of Aden. I can see that you want to stay here; it's right there, plainly to see for everyone in your eyes."

Looking up to me, his face looked pained, but he nodded slightly anyway. "You are right, I just don't want to waste any of our time together no matter what, and neither do I want to dump Aden onto you."

"Stop being so damn stubborn," I muttered before I claimed his lips in a kiss. "I love Aden, too. It's my pleasure to look after him and we still have some more days left. No dwelling, promise?"

"Promise," he agreed.

Jasper asked one of the nurses to call a cab for me. While we waited, I made him promise again to call me if something changed or he needed me and told him that I'd be back in the morning once Aden was awake if he hadn't called by then. I went to get him a coffee and said a quick goodbye before I went outside with Aden to wait for the cab.

The cab took us to Alyssa's place and when I walked to find Jasper's car parked behind the house I saw a part of stones still decorated with blood; Alyssa's I assumed. I tried not to panic upon seeing it, but it provided a vivid image of what Alyssa might look like right now. Guilt overcame me as the thought of this creep at her apartment came back to me.

What if he had been of those people who mugged her? Maybe she owed him money. What other ties could she have to a person like that, someone who obviously threatened her? My thoughts whirled as I strapped Aden's seat into the back of the car, but this wouldn't get me any further. Alyssa had to be the one to explain who that person was and if he had something to do with her current condition.

I vowed to myself that even if she wouldn't talk about it, I would tell Jasper what I knew. Eventually he could shed some light on the situation or at least get Alyssa to talk. Yet all the way home my thoughts kept tormenting me. I might have been able to stop all of this on time if I only talked to Jasper; everything might've been prevented and it was my fault for keeping my nose out of Alyssa's business. At the moment it had seemed like the right thing to do, she was after all a grown woman but right now the guilt kept eating at me.

It was a wonder I got myself and Aden home in one piece with the car and the level of my guilt increased even more. I had told Jasper I would care of Aden, not that I would endanger him by my driving style when I was completely lost in thoughts. Aden though seemed oblivious to everything around him; he was fast asleep when I took him out of the car.

Placing him into his crib, careful as not to wake him up, I decided to take a hot shower in hope that it might help me relax a little. Taking the baby monitor with me to the bathroom, I shed my clothes and stepped into the shower. The water cascading over my neck and shoulders felt like a relief, for minutes I just stood there and let the water beat down on me.

When the water started to run cold and forced me out of the shower, I settled down in the living room and wished that there was a piano for me to play. Running my hands over the ivory keys always helped me to calm down and focus my thoughts. And then there was composing which helped me to forget everything around me as I got enveloped by the music.

Although Jasper's apartment held a guitar which I also could play a little, I didn't want to risk Aden to wake up. With not much other options I went to search a book to occupy myself a bit for a while, instead I stumbled across the photo album I had made for Jasper when he had come back from Spain after his internship. The pictures of my brightest childhood memories made me smile involuntarily.

I often wondered if I had figured out my feelings for him if he hadn't left in the first place. Would I still be oblivious to the love I felt towards him, thinking that it was nothing but a deep friendship? Everyone around seemed to have it figured out a long way before me, but I was confident that at some point there would've been another action that would have opened my eyes.

Jasper was my life, had always been and I couldn't even picture it without him. He, now more than ever, seemed to be that essential part without which existence ceased to be. Even in my head, I sounded exceptionally cheesy. I blamed the shock and excitement of the past hours and how the happenings showed me that everything could be over in the blink of an eye.

Thumbing through the album I decided that nothing could stop my mind from running a mile per minute and taking it with me, I made my way to the bedroom. Still in the towel from my shower, I slipped into boxer shorts and lay down on the bed in the darkness. The glowing red numbers on the alarm told me that I still had a long night ahead of me as it was only a couple of minutes after midnight.

Again I opened the album and this time I focused on the happy thoughts that swept through me, no more dwelling on things that couldn't be changed anyway. It wasn't long before my eyes started to drop, but the small whimpers on the baby phone told me that Aden soon would be fully awake for his next meal.

Hoisting myself out of the bed again, I ignored the bone deep tiredness that had crept over me. I swiftly fixed Aden's bottle which had become easier with every time he did it and retrieved Aden from his crib. Sitting in the rocking chair, I patiently waited till Aden drank almost the whole bottle before I changed his diaper and walked him around the apartment.

Humming quietly it didn't take long until the little boy was fast asleep again. Caring for Aden started to feel like a second nature to me, one I was grateful for. The more time I spent with the baby the surer I was that my future lay in teaching, not composing. Standing quietly at Aden's bed I watched him sleep for a while and secured my thoughts about teaching. It was a welcome change from my gloom thoughts from earlier.

At last I fell back into the huge king sized bed in Jasper's bedroom, it felt so utterly empty without him by my side. Clutching his pillow to me, it didn't take long before I too, fell asleep.

Waking up to Aden's cries, I was surprised to find that I had gotten five solid hours of sleep after all. I repeated the same routine from before bedtime. I retrieved Aden only after I finished making his bottle and watched him as he hungrily drained the whole thing before I once again changed his diaper; thankfully it was a task that didn't make me gag anymore.

I secured Aden in his portable seat and hurried to clean myself up and get dressed. Jasper hadn't called, so I assumed that everything was as well as it could be. Nonetheless I wanted to see him and make sure that he was alright. Fixing a thermos of coffee for him, he surely would need this after such a long night; I drew up a map with a description to the hospital from my cell phone.

It wasn't too hard to find and I made it without getting lost. At the hospital though, I had to rely on a nurse who explained the way to me in broken English and after a little searching I found Jasper, sitting crooked and with closed eyes in one of the uncomfortable looking hospital plastic chairs.

Placing Aden on one side of him, I sat down on his other side and gently stroked over his cheek. His red rimmed blue eyes opened slowly, taking in the sight of me. He looked beyond tired with the red lacing his beautiful eyes and the dark bruises underneath them.

I kissed him gently and said, "I brought you coffee. How is she doing?"

"You are a lifesaver," he sighed, grabbing the thermos from my hands. "The last I heard, she was still stable, but they have been trying to fix her arm for hours now."

His eyes darkened with his last statement, but before I had the chance to reply a nurse hurried over to us. Her face looked just as grim as Jasper's with her eyes equally tired and I hoped it wasn't an indication about Alyssa's current state.

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**AN:**

**This probably wasn't what you expected, at least regarding Alyssa's and Edward's talk. But let's be real, Edward would never inquire her feelings for Jasper after he knew about her probable mental instability. He's not that insensitive ;P.**

**This chapter had a lot of Edward's inner monologue and I hope I didn't bore you guys too much with it but to me it felt essential. Let me know your thoughts, good and bad :).**

**Thanks for the awesome reviews and PMs on the last chapter, even though I lacked time to reply (like so often lately) I truly appreciate all of them! Thanks to my beta Jasper's Darlin' Kathy, leave her some love!**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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JPOV**

The nurse walking towards us looked grim enough that it immediately squished any hope of good news. In fact she looked down right murderous and Edward's squeeze on my hand only established my suspicions; he must have felt the same way about her expression.

Walking towards her, my knees were shaking so badly that, for a moment, I thought about sitting back down before I collapsed. The lack of sleep and anguish about my son's mother didn't seem to be an ideal mix, but fortunately, the nurse's expression wasn't an indication about Alyssa's well being as I learned when she simply told me that we could see Alyssa now. I was vaguely aware of Edward picking up Aden before we accompanied the nurse, probably the safest option seeing how unsteady I was on my feet and having my son in the hospital was the last thing I needed.

While the nurse led us to the room, she explained that the surgery had gone well and the doctors thought that Alyssa would be able to regain the full use of her arm and hand; they had done their best to save every nerve, but only time could prove how much of the use she'd be able to regain. Standing in front of a closed door, she explained further that Alyssa didn't wake up from the induced coma yet; it might take a while longer. I nodded silently, for now I only wanted to see her and make sure that she was as alright as she could be in her current condition.

The nurse held me back though, telling me that the police hadn't made any progress in their search; they, too, were waiting for Alyssa to wake up and hoping that she could identify her attackers since the neighbor who called the police couldn't say more than that all of them were men. Again, I nodded, but this time she stepped aside, allowing me to enter the tiny hospital room, but upon entering, I almost wished she hadn't.

In the bed lay a person that I could barely recognize as Alyssa, her left arm was covered in gauze up to her shoulder and the majority of visible skin was covered in hues of black, green and blue as the bruises on her body formed, wherein the unharmed skin looked unnaturally pale. Her nose was braced, her eyes almost swollen shut and her lip cracked in several places. She looked downright broken. It was glaringly obvious that she wouldn't have survived this if she hadn't been fortunate enough to be seen by one of her neighbors.

Closing my eyes while white hot rage shot through every nerve ending in my body, I felt Edward's presence behind me as he moved towards me until my back touched his chest just the faintest bit; he was telling me, without words, that he was there for me. He was here to catch me if I'd fall. For the thousandth time in the past hours I thanked the fates for having him in my life. The warmth radiating from Edward was enough to relax my tensed muscles a bit. I wanted to go home and curl up in bed with him until I forgot, at least for a little while that the past twenty-four hours hadn't actually happened and weren't a cruel result of a bad dream.

Opening my eyes, guilt washed over me; all of this was my fault. I was the one to suggest that Alyssa take my car; my time with Edward had mattered more than finding a different solution, one that might've prevented the robbery. My son could have lost his mother because his father only thought about spending every possible minute with his boyfriend.

Edward who was completely in tune with my emotions, wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered, "She will be alright again. Let's get you fed, showered and caught up on sleep, okay?"

"Just a moment," I whispered back before I entangled myself from Edward and moved towards the hospital bed. Gently pushing a strand of hair out of her face and I prayed that she would wake up soon. Leaning down to place a kiss on her forehead, I talked quietly to her, "Wake up soon, sweetheart. Our son needs his mother."

With one last stop at the nurse's office and their promise to call if anything changed about Alyssa's condition, I felt the bone deep tiredness creep up on me as we walked out of the hospital; I felt like I hadn't slept in days even though I knew it only appeared that way because of the emotional struggle about Alyssa's health.

The car ride home was filled with silence, each of us lost in their thoughts about the happenings in the past hours. Aden had fallen asleep almost as soon as Edward started to drive and I was glad that he was still too young to understand what was going on right now; he shouldn't need to see nor understand his mother's current condition.

Dwelling on my thoughts, I was surprised to see that we arrived at my apartment already. I carefully extracted Aden from his seat and followed Edward inside. I silently motioned to him that I was going to bring Aden to his room where I lay him down in his crib. Watching him as I stood there, I hoped that he would be able to keep his childlike innocence for a long time; I would do anything in my power to ensure it. Sighing deeply, I backed out of the room and found Edward waiting with open arms for me in the living room.

"I'm afraid if I sit down right now I won't get up again to make it to bed," I told him, my voice sounding strangely vulnerable even to my own ears. Taking his hand in mine, I continued, "Lay down with me for a while?"

Looking at me, his face was a mask of concern. "Don't you want to eat something first?" he asked.

"My bed and you," I answered, grinning wryly. "That's all I need right now."

"Then who am I to deny you that?" he teased, leading me to the bedroom and sat me down on the bed. His hands dragged to the hem of my shirt, taking it off as I followed his silent instruction by lifting my arms. Then his hands moved to unzip my jeans, dragging them off me as I lifted my hips. For once there was nothing sexual about the gesture and I was beyond grateful that he seemed to be able to read my mood perfectly well.

His touch, like always was a comfort to me and as I watched him undress and join me under the covers. There were no words spoken, but even then he knew exactly what to do. His arm circled my waist and pulled me to him until my back was flush against his chest; his legs slung over mine. Burying his face in my neck, he inhaled deeply and started to hum lightly.

With his body wrapped around mine, the world felt more right again. The warmth of Edward's skin seeped right onto me wherever our skin touched; I felt safe in the cocoon of his arms and it didn't take very long before sleep claimed me.

Waking up, I was disoriented by the setting sun, but it didn't take long until the past evening's events crashed back into my conscious. Edward was nowhere to be found, but the air smelled deliciously; looks like Edward cooked for me. The clock told me that it was 7 PM already and this time I was surprised to find that I hadn't been woken by Aden. Had I really been so out of it that I hadn't even heard him?

Groaning, I rolled out of bed; damn it if not every single muscle in my body hurt as a result of sitting all night long in the uncomfortable hospital chairs. Grabbing a shirt, I found Edward in the kitchen stirring some kind of sauce and noodles.

"Dinner is ready and look who magically rose from the dead," he teased when I wrapped my arms around him.

"You know it, baby," I said. "What about Aden?"

"Fed, changed and happily back asleep," he told me smiling. "He came first, now it's your turn."

"Sounds good but I want a bath, too," I murmured and dragged my lips across his neck.

Turning in my arms, his face broke into a grin. "I think that can be arranged if you are going to be a big boy and finish your whole dinner."

"As if there ever was any question about the size," I winked, watching as he arranged the noodles on two plates. Grabbing two beers, I followed him into the living and greedily dug into the food. By now I was so used to Edward's presence and all the little things he did for me, like taking care of Aden or cooking for me that I wondered what I'd do when he had to leave.

"Jasper."

Looking at Edward, I was startled by the serious look on his face. "What is it?"

"Uhh… I don't really know how to say this," he said, clearing his throat self-consciously, "but there's something I have to tell you."

"You're starting to worry me," I frowned. "Just spit it out, Edward."

"Ah it's not bad, I think," he stuttered. "Well it is, but it's not about us if that's what you thought…"

"Edward!" I interrupted, he seldom was so flustered and I didn't have a single clue what caused him to act so strange; he truly started to worry me.

"Do you remember when you went to check on Alyssa's car?"

"Of course I do, it was only yesterday," I murmured and tried to wait patiently until he found the right words to continue.

"There was this guy at Alyssa's door and even though I didn't understand what they actually talked about, I could translate some of the cussing that went down. The guy appeared to be seriously mad and called her a lot of names while Alyssa tried to get him to leave."

It took me a moment to put the pieces together and figure out what this could mean, yet I had to make sure and asked, "What exactly are you saying?"

Running his hands through his hair, he sighed deeply. "If I knew the answer to your question, I would've told you already. I have no clue who this man was and what he wanted. But do you remember the large bruise on her hips a couple of days ago?"

"She said that she walked against a cupboard, why would she lie about it if she was in trouble?"

"I don't know, Jas," he replied. "I've also witnessed a phone caller whom she called a bastard. Don't you know who this man could be?"

"Don't you think I would say so if I did?" I asked, the frustration clear in my voice. Fidgeting under my gaze, he shrugged his shoulders halfheartedly and my anger only grew. "Why didn't you fucking tell me any of this until now? Why did you keep this from me?"

"She's a grown woman, Jasper. I'm basically a stranger to her and she blocked me completely out when I tried to talk to her about," he explained quietly.

"All the more reason to talk to me, damn it," I seethed. Edward's whole posture showed that he, too, knew that he should've told me; that it could've prevented Alyssa being in the hospital right now. I had to figure out who this guy was, but I didn't even have a starting point. Alyssa only ever hung out with one girlfriend, there have never been any other men that I knew of and how had she been able to keep that from me with the amount of time we spent together?

"I'm sorry," Edward apologized. "I really am, but I hoped that she maybe would talk to you herself. I didn't have to right to involve myself in her business, unasked nonetheless."

"That is bullshit and you know it Edward."

"But…"

"No, just let it be for now," I interrupted. I was too mad to continue this conversation with him and feared that I might say things which I'd came to regret later on. "I want to be by myself for a bit, I need to figure this out."

Not waiting for a reply, I went to the bathroom to take a shower. Logically I knew that I was lashing out at the wrong person, but I wasn't thinking too clearly right now and Edward had been wrong, too. He shouldn't have hesitated to tell me, especially not when he suspected that Alyssa was abused by someone. He never said this was actually the case, but everything he said pointed to it. Maybe she was in some kind of other trouble, but even if my life depended on it, I couldn't begin to guess what trouble she could be in.

_Why though didn't she say a single word about it? _I wondered as I stood under the hot stream of water. _Or did she hint at it and I simply didn't see the signs?_

I had been so focused on having Edward back; I couldn't deny that I might've missed some kind of sign from her. That wasn't entirely true though, I did notice something wasn't right; I had just presumed that it was a postnatal depression or something similar. But how the hell should I have known it was someone possibly abusing her instead? There had been no outwardly signs except the bruise Edward mentioned earlier and even then, she had explained it with such an ease, I never thought about it twice.

Frustrated I turned off the water, the brooding and pondering wouldn't help me, I decided. Drying off, I put on a clean pair of boxers and went to lie down on my bed. The thoughts wouldn't leave me alone though; if I only knew who this guy was. Alyssa had a lot of answering to do when she woke up, that was for sure. Until then, maybe I should check out her apartment, it may hold a clue to what was going on.

The longer I thought about it, the more frustrated I grew. Not only didn't it bring me to any conclusion, but Edward and I had fought and I couldn't even remember our last fight; that's how long ago it was. Alyssa was the only one able to shed some light on the situation and there wasn't much to do about it until she woke up.

Being helpless sucked, I wanted to rip out my hair and never fight with Edward again; I felt terrible for being so harsh on him, but like a petulant child; I pouted in my room instead of apologizing to him. Turning left and right, I thought about what to tell him. The longer I tossed around in bed, the more my annoyance grew again. God, I was worse than a thirteen year old girl having fought with her biggest crush.

Edward and I had already been through enough, not to ruin everything at this point with such a stupid fight. Rolling out of bed, I decided to man up and apologize to him; we could put this behind us and move on together.

Slipping into the living room I saw him sitting on the couch, feeding Aden. I was such an idiot. Here I was too busy pouting and moaning instead of taking care of my son and Edward cared for him without complaint, no matter what time while I was yelling at him for not telling me something that Alyssa should have told me.

"Edward…," I whispered, my voice breaking on the second syllable.

But this time he interrupted me, "Shh, come here." I watched him scoot over to make space for me and complied with his request. Slipping in between his body and the couch, I drew him against my chest. Leaning my head in the crook of his neck, I listened to the happy sounds of my son as he drank his milk and Edward's steady breathing. I could see the smile form on his face and opened my mouth to apologize.

Interrupting me again he said, "It's okay. We've both made a mistake, babe."

Lacing my fingers through his, I looked at our joined hands for a long time before I answered, "So we did. I'm sorry still, Edward."

"I am, too," he agreed. "Let's not waste anymore time fighting about this, please. Our time together is too precious."

"You are right," I acknowledged and brought our hands to my lips and placed a kiss on every knuckle of his hand.

"I love you," he whispered. "Both of you."

"I love you, too," I choked out as tears pooled in my eyes. "Always."

_What had I done to deserve such a good man_, I wondered.

* * *

**AN:**

**Do you still think that Alyssa is the bad guy?**

**I hope you aren't to cross with me because of the boys fighting but it was essential for what's to come. Again there was a lot of inner monologue, hopefully you weren't too bored but it, too, is essential. In the next chapter some things will be cleared up. **

**As always (at least lately) I've failed to answer your awesome reviews, but I read & loved all of them, thanks for all the lovely words. Huge thanks to my awesome beta, Jasper's Darlin' Kathy who is always reassuring me no matter how insecure I am; I'm truly grateful, hun!**

**Tell me your thoughts on the chapter, good and bad – I'm always thrilled to read them. **

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

**EPOV**

By the time morning rolled around, my fight with Jasper yesterday seemed no more than a bad nightmare. Even though some of his anger had been rightly directed at me, I knew that most of his outburst was caused by his frustration. It bothered him endlessly that he couldn't do a thing to make the situation better.

At least he had reached Alyssa's mom who had fallen into a mix of shock and guilt this morning; shock that someone would do this to her baby girl and guilt because she was out of town with her husband to celebrate their wedding anniversary and couldn't be reached. At the rate we were going we had to get in line with our individual guilt trips.

At last she told Jasper not to worry about packing a bag for Alyssa as her daughter's place was on the way to the hospital, she could just stop by. With a promise to call if anything changed with Alyssa's condition, the phone call was over and a day of lounging around and waiting for news lay ahead of Jasper, Aden and me.

I didn't mind a bit, seeing how my visit in Spain was slowly coming to an end, with only four days left before I was on the plane back to the states. I desperately wished that I didn't have to leave just yet, even though I knew very well that it wasn't going to happen; my semester was about to start up again and now that I finally had my plans for the future set, I was excited to take on this new challenge. My only regret was going through this phase of my life without Jasper at my side, physically speaking at least.

All the more, I enjoyed our morning on the couch cuddling. There was not much to do besides watching TV as we waited for any news on Alyssa and I reveled in every second of the feeling of Jasper's arms around me. Soon the movie playing on TV became nothing more than a distant background noise and our gentle pecks grew to heated kisses and nips. Lying on top of me, Jasper's hand crept under my shirt and set my skin on fire wherever his fingertips touched me.

All the frustration and anger from the past days seemed to convert into blown out lust as his hands kept groping over my body; undressing me and himself the best he could with our lips firmly attached to each other and who was I to complain about the direction our afternoon was taking?

Pulling my lips from his mouth, I drew in some much needed breaths while Jasper fumbled to get our shirts off. Helping him, I drew the shirt over his head and ran my hands across his broad chest, savoring the feel of his muscled body under my hands. At this point I was sure that not even in a hundred years I would have enough of him.

Straightening up, he helped me out of my jeans and boxer shorts and said, "Don't you dare to move, I'll be back in a second, babe."

Watching his delicious backside disappear in the bedroom, I couldn't stop the low moan falling from my lips. My hand ran over my cock, seemingly on its own accord while I waited for him to come back to me but true to his words; in a matter of seconds he was back in front of the couch on his knees.

"Such a naughty boy; touching himself," he groaned and adjusted my body so that I was sitting right on the edge of the couch with my feet propped against the coffee table and Jasper kneeling between my spread legs. "Damn, I wish I could have a picture of this sight. I'd be able to look at my man spread in front of me whenever I wished.

"Take one," I said without hesitation, surprising not only Jasper but also myself.

And I didn't need to say it twice, Jasper was already standing and on his way to get his camera when he halted his movement and asked, "Are you sure about this?"

"Of course I am. I suggested you take one after all," I winked at him. "Although you should probably hurry up before I change my mind."

Apparently that was enough encouragement for him as he stood in front of me with his camera tightly clutched in both hands only a minute later. I tried not to focus on what he was about to do; taking picture of me spread out in front of him, completely naked. Instead my eyes devoured every plane of his body while he stood there in only his boxer shorts, half his face hidden behind the camera.

The longer I looked at him, the more my erection throbbed, practically begging me to pay attention to it. Grabbing the tip of my cock in my hand, I increased the pressure as I started to stroke myself slowly. Leaning my head against the couch, I closed my eyes and imagined Jasper's hands dancing across my body; teasing me mercilessly.

Entirely wrapped up in my fantasy I was slightly startled when I opened my eyes to find Jasper, without his camera, sitting between my legs, his lubed finger about to enter me.

"Are you sure you've never had these kinds of pictures taken before?" he teased. "Because you looked damn hot and I can't wait to bend you over this couch and fuck you thoroughly."

Hearing his words, I thought I might just cum on the spot and if dirty talking Jasper was the reaction I'd get from letting him take my picture, we will be having a lot of fun with the camera in the future. My inner musings were cut short though when Jasper's fingers started to prepare and stretch me while his other hand lubed up his cock.

"Jasper," I moaned, at the sight of this fabulous man in front of me. "I'm good, love."

Without any further comment he withdrew his hands, rose to his feet and helped me stand up. Leading me to the side of the couch, he pressed me against his chest; his erection poking into my backside as he ran his nose over my neck.

"You smell good enough to eat," he murmured, his hands caressing my shoulders until they reached the base of my neck. Knotting one hand into my hair he pulled my head back towards him while his other hand bent me over the couch; just like he promised. "And now I'm going to fuck you hard."

Moaning I pushed my ass into him, hoping to speed along his process of teasing, but he'd have none of it. Instead he positioned the tip of his cock right at my entrance and stopped moving. I was convinced that he wanted to drive me insane and he was on the best way to do so because every time I pushed back, he moved back as well.

"Jasper," I groaned. "Please…"

"That's right," he cooed, pressing his cock into me a little more. "Beg for what you want."

"I need you," I rasped, a shudder overtaking my body. "Please, fuck me."

"Such a good little boy, aren't you? I suppose you deserve a reward," he whispered roughly and thrust into me wholly.

A gasp fell from my lips as he filled me and instead of waiting any longer, I started to move my hips to tell him silently that I was okay to go. Picking up on my silent request he set a fast pace, thrusting into me as he held my head back and kept me steady with his unoccupied hand.

As much as I enjoyed our gentle love making, this was something else and even though my neck started to hurt the tiniest bit from his tight grasp it was well worth it. Lifting my hips, he hit directly on my prostate with his every thrust and I soon saw stars in front of my eyes. Neither of us would last very long, but sometimes fast and hard trumped gentle and slow, no matter what; especially seeing how much I loved his dominating side.

"Fuck," he panted. "You can't imagine how much I love your tight hole."

Again his words went straight to my almost painfully throbbing cock as the moans kept slipping from my lips. I wanted to find my release badly, but the prospect of ending this even sooner made me reluctant to touch myself; I wanted to see what else Jasper had in store. I was sure that I wouldn't be disappointed.

Loosening his grip on my hair, he now held me in place with two hands on my hips while he sped up his movements even more; I could tell that he was close, but if I wanted him to let go without me cumming first, I had to work for it. Pushing my ass back to his pelvis with every thrust, I had him panting hard in no time.

"Cum in me, baby," I groaned. "Fill me with that mouthwatering cum of yours."

I felt his cock twitch inside of me and knew that I had succeeded in my mission when he shuddered and groaned behind me. Slowing his thrust down until he emptied his whole load; he collapsed with his chest onto my back, panting heavily.

"You little cheater," he huffed once he regained a somewhat normal breathing rhythm. "You did that on purpose."

"'Course," I chuckled, poorly mimicking his Texan accent. "Damn me, but I want your lips wrapped around my cock badly."

"Well then," he drawled, straightening up. "Your wish shall be my command."

Taking my hand, he led me back to sit on the couch while he sunk to his knees in front of me for the second time in one day. His hand massaged my thighs while his tongue darted out to lick across the length of my shaft. Closing my eyes, I focused fully on the feeling of Jasper's lips closing around my erection, his tongue grazing the underside of my shaft as his head bobbed down ever so slowly until I hit the back of his throat.

A shiver of pleasure went through my body as Jasper's deep moan sent vibrations straight to my cock and I was close to wager that it was one of the best feelings in the world. Running a hand through his blonde locks, I let my nails rake lightly over his scalp; knowing how much he liked that and was promptly rewarded with another groan and a graze of his teeth which was all I needed to come undone.

Swallowing every last bit of my cum, Jasper ran his tongue over my softening dick one last time before releasing me from his mouth and crawling on top of me. Slipping my arms around him, I was beyond content. Not only was I completely sexually satisfied, but I felt secure with his weight wrapped around me like a security blanket.

Nuzzling his face into my neck, he asked after a few minutes, "I could really use a shower right about now, how about you?"

"Sounds like a good idea if it only didn't involve us having to get up," I sighed.

"If that's your only concern," Jasper grinned, standing up and before I could even question what he was talking about he had hoisted up in his arms. In my surprise I even forgot to question what the hell he was doing and simply locked my hands behind his neck as Jasper carried me to the bathroom and set me down on the built in seat of the shower. "See barely any movement on your side necessary."

"How did I ever land such a perfect man?" I smiled at him, watching as he adjusted the temperature of the water.

"Do I hear sarcasm in those words?" he smirked and held the shower head in my direction, drenching me from head to toe in the process.

"Well, well… now you definitely do," I shrugged, nonchalantly. "What do you expect with actions as the one just now?"

"Allow me then to make it up to you," Jasper proposed, a smile playing on his lips at our continued banter, but true to his proposition he grabbed the soap and lathered it all over my body; gently caressing every inch of my skin until not a single part of my body remained untouched.

"Mhmm," I hummed, watching him soaping up himself. "That definitely would deserve a picture, too."

"Who knows, I might just surprise you with one," he winked. "Now close your eyes."

Doing like I was told, I closed my eyes and waited patiently until Jasper rinsed all the soap off my body. Once he was done, I took the shower head from him and returned the gesture, my fingers skimming over his skin while the soap bubbles rinsed off his body. Turning off the shower, I fetched two towels, handed him one and started to dry Jasper off. Just as I was finished with him, the soft whimpers over the baby phone broke the silence in the bathroom; Aden was awake and ready to be fed.

"You finish up, I'll get Aden," he said, pulling his clothes on and pecking me on the lips before he left the bathroom.

Hurrying to join my two boys, I emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed, in time to watch Jasper settled on the couch with Aden in his arms. Joining him wordlessly, I watched him tenderly feed Aden the bottle of milk, as usual his whole attention on the little boy. About halfway through the bottle Aden began fussing, seemingly sated for the moment. Jasper shifted him in his arms and started to pace across the room until Aden burped.

"C'mon I'll change his diaper," I offered. "You can order us something to eat, I'm famished."

"Alright," he agreed, placing Aden in my arms. "How about Thai?"

Nodding, I secured Aden safely in my arms and walked off to the nursery. "Sure sounds good to me."

I gently placed Aden on the diaper-changing table and swiftly set to the task at hand; something I had excelled in the past couple of days. Who would have guessed such a little guy could make so much mess? But with the routine came at least a slight immunity to the smell for which I was immensely thankful.

Changing Aden's clothes as well, I heard Jasper talk a rapid Spanish in the living room and just like that I was getting hard again. Diverting my attention to Aden, I picked him up again; he was still fussing and apparently not the least bit tired. It looked like he was starting to stay awake longer after each feeding. I was about to enter the living room when I almost ran into Jasper.

"That was Alyssa's mom," he explained. "She finally woke up. Will you come with me?"

"You didn't have to ask, of course."

Packing a small bag for Aden with everything he might need while we were at the hospital, we arrived at Alyssa's hospital room roughly an hour after the phone call. Knocking twice we entered the room to find Alyssa with open eyes which was the only thing that looked better about her condition; she was still chalky white while the bruises on her face had only darkened their color. She looked tiny, even in the small hospital bed; it was so bad that she could be easily mistaken for a teenage girl instead of a grown woman.

Jasper walked towards her, murmuring gentle Spanish words as he arranged Aden on her uninjured arm while I watched the three of them interact. There were streaks of tears running over Alyssa's cheeks and she still seemed to be a little off from just waking up shortly ago. Overall she looked nothing like the strong-willed person I had met; she looked downright broken and this fact only fueled Jasper's rage. I probably was the only one in the room right now who noticed the tension in his shoulders and balled fists as his voice stayed ever so quiet, murmuring words to Alyssa.

I barely understood a sentence Jasper told her, merely single words, but it was enough to figure out that he assured her that Aden was alright; why she was so concerned about Aden's health was a huge mystery to me though, after all she was the one brutally attacked while Aden was safely asleep with Jasper and me. Startled from my thoughts by Alyssa's voice which sounded just as weak as she looked, I was surprised to find her speaking English.

"I'm sorry for ruining your vacation," she whispered, addressing me.

And before I could tell her that she was talking nonsense, Jasper interrupted her by telling her exactly what had been on my mind. "That's the least of our worries right now," he said. "The most important thing right now, is for you to get better and the police to nail these guys for doing this to you."

"There's something else I need to tell you," Alyssa said so quietly, that I had to strain my ears to hear what she said. "It's good that all of you are here because I'm not sure I can tell this story more than once."

**AN:**

**How much do you like Jasper's dominant side?**

**Thanks for all the great reviews and PMs on the last chapter. I read them all and failed to answer any of them BUT I love your feedback. Last week my router/modem/parts of my comp died because a lightning bolt hit something, so please bear with me :). **

**This wasn't the chapter I intended to write but I was short on time and thought we all, including Jasper and Edward deserved a little break to get their kink on ;). Let me know your thoughts, please!**

**A huge thanks to my beta Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for her continued support, thanks bb!**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

* * *

**Previously**

"_There's something else I need to tell you," Alyssa said so quietly, that I had to strain my ears to hear what she said. "It's good that all of you are here because I'm not sure I can tell this story more than once."_

**EPOV**

"I can't identify all of my attackers," Alyssa murmured. "But one of them was definitely my ex-boyfriend, Juan. I broke up with him almost two years ago; yet he never truly accepted my decision."

"Why…?" Jasper started to ask, only to be interrupted by Alyssa.

"Please, no questions right now. Let me tell you the whole story first. This is hard enough for me to talk about without interruptions."

Once satisfied with our nods of agreement, she continued, "At first he had simply followed me around. I didn't think much of it until his advances grew bolder. Not one day passed without him bringing me little presents or flowers, begging me to take him back, but I stayed consequent; my decision was final."

Shifting her body, Alyssa stopped talking and grimaced; seemingly in pain. Letting my gaze wander through the room, my eyes landed on Alyssa's mother who was crying silently and I realized that she already knew the whole story her daughter was telling us at the moment.

A movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention as Jasper stepped closer to Alyssa to take Aden from her arms, but she shook her head violently und shooed him away.

"It's okay, I only hurt when I move too much," she explained and waited for Jasper to sit back down on the chair next to her bed before she went on with her story. "He had never hurt me until I started seeing other men and even then it was mostly tight grips of my arms or shoulders when he tried to convince me of his opinion. The first time a man stayed at my place over night was another catalyst. The following evening he had been brutally beaten, numerous of his bones broken and I assume it's safe to say that Juan was responsible for it."

Pausing, she drew a shuddering breath, her eyes filled with tears. "It was then that I decided to move away, to Barcelona to be exact and start anew. I had only been here for around two months when I met you, Jasper," she explained further, slightly smiling at him. "Things were going really well until a couple of months ago. Seeing me almost seven months pregnant, Juan had been shocked enough to follow me only from afar, but it didn't last long. It hadn't taken him to figure out where I lived and once Aden was born, he became more aggressive in his advances. The bruise on my hip, the phone calls and visit which Edward witnessed, as well as the attack behind my house; Juan was behind all of it."

Falling silent again, Alyssa was visibly exhausted, her eyes were wide and terror filled and her face streaked with tears. I probably couldn't grasp wholly what exactly she had to go through since breaking up with that guy, nonetheless I couldn't even begin to understand why she hadn't said a single word, especially when I asked her about it.

Jasper obviously had similar thoughts running through his head as he asked her, "It never occurred to you to speak to the police or at least to me? Has it crossed your mind what he could've done to Aden?"

"How can you even say such a thing?" Alyssa bristled. "Aden was all I thought about, but Juan threatened to hurt my little boy if I told anyone about this whole mess. This time I couldn't simply leave again either because you moved here."

"Then why did you refuse vehemently to move to the states?" Jasper demanded roughly. "No way in hell he would've found you there!"

"And what about my parents, Jasper?" She hissed. "Should I have left them vulnerable to him? I wouldn't have put him to use my parents to get to me if he couldn't reach me directly anymore."

"And because he was so fucking trustworthy, you kept silent, hoping that he would stay true to his word and not harm our son?" Jasper thundered.

Hurrying over to him in two quick strides, I lay my hand on his shoulder and soothed, "Jasper, please calm down a little. Nothing about this can't be changed anymore, but from here on out there's enough evidence to go to the police and have him put away for a long time."

Gripping my hand tightly, Jasper questioned, "How do you expect me to be rational when my son's health is jeopardized like this?"

"Jasper," Alyssa spoke. "Can you rant on another time? I'd like to get some rest before I have to repeat the story again to the police."

"As you wish," Jasper muttered, the sarcasm heavy in his voice. "But don't think we are done yet with this topic."

"There's nothing more to say," she replied. Kissing Aden's forehead tenderly, she whispered a few Spanish words to the peacefully sleeping baby and handed him to Jasper whose stony expression lifted a little as he gazed down at his son.

"Call me when it's convenient for you, Alyssa," Jasper sneered and secured Aden in his portable seat. Linking his hand with mine, he addressed me, "Let's go babe."

Without another word to Alyssa, we left the hospital and were on our way home. Jasper was still tense and fuming, not saying a single word in the whole twenty-five minute drive while Aden slumbered in the backseat. This I was subjected to and my own whirling thoughts; the just occurred conversation between Alyssa and Jasper certainly hadn't gone well. Even though I could understand Jasper's reaction, his harsh words weren't very helpful, considering Alyssa's condition; she already went through enough without him laying all the blame on her.

Arriving at home, I carried Aden to his crib while Jasper ordered Thai food for us; hopefully for real this time. Satisfied that Aden was still fast asleep, I joined Jasper in the living room. He was sitting on the couch, his arms crossed over his chest, his eyes tightly closed.

Sitting down next to him, I gently caressed his face with my left hand; an attempt to chase the frown from his beautiful face. "Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him.

"What's there to say?" he sighed. "No matter what she thinks, she made the wrong decision in keeping this from me."

"I know," I agreed, tracing his lips with my finger. "But…"

"No need to repeat yourself, babe," he said. "I realize that the damage is done and we all have to live with it. I only wish to understand why she acted the way she did."

And he was right; despite Alyssa's explanation some things didn't add up. For instance, it didn't make one bit of sense that she was so scared of her ex when the only physical violence towards her existed in holding her too tightly while verbally convincing her that she was wrong in his eyes; at least until he had beaten her a couple of days ago. Without wanting to endorse Juan's actions, her level of anxiety towards him hadn't been warranted. Of course Juan had beaten the man Alyssa dated, but especially because of that she should have told Jasper who obviously was in danger from her psycho-ex as well; he was after all the father of her son.

I wondered what triggered the change in behavior on Juan's part; he had never truly harmed Alyssa physically until he came to Barcelona. Maybe he feared that she could escape again and was now desperate enough to do anything needed to stop her from fleeing again.

The conversation with Alyssa had shed some light on the current situation, but even so, I wasn't convinced that she wasn't hiding anything else; there were still too many unanswered questions. If only I could figure out what appeared to be so fishy about it all.

Too absorbed in my thoughts, I was surprised to find Jasper on the phone, saying goodbye to whomever he talked to. Sighing, he sat back down next to me. "That was my boss, our other photographer is sick and he needs me for a very important event tomorrow," he told me. "I'm sorry but it will take two, maximum three hours. Can you watch Aden?"

"Sure," I agreed. "Actually, how about I take him to visit Alyssa? I'm sure she'd like to see him and you have another day to cool off before seeing her again."

"You honestly wouldn't mind?" he inquired, his eyes fixed on mine.

Shaking my head, I kissed him softly. "I wouldn't offer it if I did mind."

"It has just been a long day and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't frustrated by everyone interfering with our alone time."

Wrapping his arms around me, he pulled me closer to him until my back was flush against his chest. "Mhmm," I hummed, relaxing against him. I could only hope that he wouldn't be too mad at me for trying to get more details out of Alyssa when I visited her tomorrow; hopefully she'd have no other visitors.

"Now if I wasn't half starved, I'd enjoy this much more," I whined, changing the topic.

"The food should arrive any second now," Jasper promised, kissing the top of my head.

True to his promise, fifteen minutes later the best tasting Thai food I'd had in a while arrived. No matter how tasty though, Jasper had ordered enough to feed a small army and soon my stomach complained for shoveling too much food in it.

Too lazy to move merely an inch, I waited till Jasper finished feeding Aden and watched him as he walked the little boy around the apartment with my recorded CD playing in the backroom until he fell back asleep. With Aden settled, we also decided to call it an early night; after our eventful day that might just be what we needed.

Waking up the next morning I was surprised to find that I slept almost twelve hours without waking up a single time. Even more surprising was the mouthwatering smell of coffee and bacon emerging from the kitchen; to top it all off, Jasper was standing shirtless in front of the stove, his hips shaking to some Spanish song.

Slapping his ass to get his attention, I accused him jokingly, "And you always try to make me believe that you can't cook."

"A man has to have a few secret weapons after all," he winked and kissed me good morning. "Now sit down over there and stop distracting me before I burn the bacon."

"At least you have a good reason when the bacon is burned," I teased while grabbing a cup of coffee. "I didn't hear you get up for Aden last night."

"I noticed," Jasper grinned. "Aden woke me up shortly after 3 AM and again around 9 AM while you slept like a rock. Although… I doubt that a rock snores as much as you do."

"What the hell?" I protested, trying hard to keep the bubbling laughter in me. "I don't snore!"

All throughout breakfast we nickered back and forth as we enjoyed our, momentarily carefree, morning together until we had to get ready to leave. While Jasper packed up his camera equipment, I put together a small bag for Aden in case we needed a change of diapers while visiting Alyssa.

Aden woke up perfectly in time to be fed, cleaned and changed before we set off towards the hospital with enough spare time for Jasper to get to his job without being late.

Knocking on Alyssa's room door at the hospital, I waited for her okay to enter and greeted her as I walked towards her bed. "Good morning Alyssa, look who wanted to see you."

Greeting me back, her eyes lit up as soon as her gaze fell on Aden. Smiling, I helped her nestle Aden on her uninjured arm and stepped back to sit in one of the chairs close to her bed. "How are you feeling?" I asked.

"Could be worse," she shrugged. "Waiting for news from the police since I've given them pictures of Juan yesterday evening."

"Since you already started the topic," I began. "Is there maybe more that you didn't tell us about? Some things don't add up."

"And who the fuck gave you permission to play police, Edward?" She spat, instantly offended by my words. "As I've told you before, this is none of your damn business and guess what? It still isn't."

"Stop right there," I interrupted, working hard to keep my voice calm. "This became my business when it was clear that Jasper, too, might be in danger. Or didn't you tell us yesterday that your psycho-ex beat the man you dated to a pulp?"

Grimacing, Alyssa answered in a quieter voice this time, "Edward, this is none of your concern. Please stay out of it."

"No, this time you won't shut me up so easily," I promised. "The moment in which you knowingly endangered my boyfriend this turned into my concern as well and I want to know what you are hiding."

Instead of losing her calm again, Alyssa started laughing, her face contorting into a mask of pain because she moved too much. "You are hoping that Jasper will come back to the states if he is in danger."

"Don't be absurd, Alyssa."

"Forget about it," she sneered, ignoring my words completely. "There's no chance in hell that Jasper will come back to the states without his son and I promise you, Aden and I won't move."

"Has Juan damaged your brain cells or what the fuck is wrong with you?" I muttered.

"You," she stated as if it was the most obvious in the world. "That's what has gotten into me. You showed up and butted into our lives without being asked. But you know what? In only a couple of days you will be gone again and everything can go back to normal."

"That's my cue to leave before I throttle a helpless and injured woman," I conceded, picking Aden from Alyssa's arm despite her protests. "I'll find out what you are hiding and that's my promise to you."

Without looking back I walked out of her room and the hospital, wondering what had just happened and what I was supposed to do now. Alyssa had acted like a different person; bitter and anxious. Her behavior only strengthened my impression that she was in love with Jasper; why else would she be so upset by my presence? Or had I overstepped my boundaries by asking her again what happened and upset her?

More importantly though, my visit with Alyssa had taken roughly forty minutes and now I had to wait for Jasper to finish his job or explain to him why I had taken a cab home. Opting for honesty, I first called a cab service, then left Jasper a voicemail, stating that he wouldn't need to pick me up and I would explain the reason when he got home.

Back a home I carried Aden to bed and started cleaning the mess Jasper had left in the kitchen this morning. I was about to be done when Jasper came through the front the door. Kissing me hello, he wasted no more time before asking me what had happened. Sitting with him at the kitchen table with two cups of coffee in front of us, I started recollecting my conversation with Alyssa.

He stayed silent the whole time I talked, the frown on his face growing minutely. Worrying that he might be mad at me for going behind his back with this, I tried to make clear that I was merely asking her a normal question when she freaked out on me; which definitely hadn't been my intention.

"Tell me then what was your intention, Edward?" Jasper asked roughly. "Asking a woman who was brutally beaten by her ex-boyfriend what she was hiding while accusing her of endangering everyone around her on purpose?"

"Excuse me if I'm wrong, but yesterday you were just as mad at her because something could've happened to Aden and now I'm the bad one because I worry that something could happen to you?" I wondered, taken aback by the accusation laced through his voice. "What exactly did I do wrong?"

"You shouldn't have accused her of all these things, especially when she just started to come clean about her history with us which wasn't easy for her."

"Awesome, I just can't do anything right, can I?" I muttered.

"Eventually you should start by staying out of other people's business after they told you to do so," he sighed.

"Damn, Jasper," I ranted. "Have you thought about what she could be hiding? What if Juan isn't as bad as she made him out to be? Have you thought about what her ongoing contact with him could mean in relation with Aden or are you just too fucking busy to blame me for something Alyssa has done? Maybe you know deep down what it could mean and blaming me is just easier than accepting it."

"What exactly are you indicating, Edward?" he provoked. "Come on, spit it out."

Upon my silence he continued in an eerily calm voice, "You know what? Fuck You. You can either man up or speak out loud what's on your mind or you can pack your things and leave right this second."

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**AN:**

**Is Jasper naïve or Edward overly paranoid? What do you think? :)**

**Please don't kill me for this, it was bound to happen. Let me know what you thought though :) Also, thanks again for the great responses to the last chapter (I even got to respond all the reviews, yay me! Don't get used to it, I was just being home sick with too much time on my hands :P)Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for being my awesome beta, you rock bb!**

**And I've started a blog (Have I mentioned I was bored?) There'll be teasers and drabbles for my stories. The teaser for chapter 23 should be up a little later today :) The link is on my profile as well. http:/spraine[dot]blogspot[dot]com/**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**Previously**

_Upon my silence he continued in an eerily calm voice, "You know what? Fuck You. You can either man up and speak out loud what's on your mind or you can pack your things and leave right this second."_

**JPOV**

Fuck, fuck, fuck… How could he even think such a fucking thing? Hadn't we fought just a day ago because he kept things from me? And now he went and did it all over again by talking to Alyssa behind my back. Standing up, I paced through the kitchen as I waited for him to answer, but there wasn't a single sound coming from him and the longer he stayed silent the angrier I became. Was it so hard to answer a simple question?

Swirling around to face him again, I ground out, "Man up already and tell me or get the fuck out!"

"Did it really never enter your mind that Aden might not be your son?" he asked quietly, his eyes filled with anguish.

Even though I already knew what he would say, it would've surely been less hurtful to have a knife stuck in my chest and have it twisted a few times. For a moment I couldn't believe that the man in front of me really was the boy whom I've been in love with all my damn life. Our gazes locking, I demanded, "Why, Edward? What the hell brought this idea to your mind? Explain it to me because I can't follow your reasoning."

Shrugging half-hearted, he began to explain, "There are too many things that don't fit, but let's start at the beginning. How long did you know her when she told you that she was pregnant? Five months? Six months?"

"Six," I answered curtly. "I fail to see though why it matters."

"It matters because you don't know a person well enough after six months to be a hundred percent sure that they wouldn't lie to you about a child growing inside them, especially when her ex is a stalking psycho."

"And that's all you've got?" I questioned.

If not for the serious conversation we were in, his disbelieving expression would've been comical, but his gravel voice as he continued talking, spoke a whole different volume. "No. You were never allowed to come to any of her doctor appointments, were you? She outright refused to move to the states, even though that Spanish freak would've never found here there. What about her freaky moods and the outright dislike she has shown towards me? All a coincidence?"

"Edward, please," I tried to reason with him. "Of course she is scared, not only because she is a new young mother with a stalking ex-boyfriend, but also because the father of her kid is in a gay, long distance relationship and could, at least theoretically, decide at any moment to go back to his home country. Just because I wouldn't just get up and leave her to fend for our son alone, doesn't mean that she doesn't have her doubts and she would never come with me to the states if it meant to leave her parents behind."

Falling silent, I took a few deep breaths to keep my temper calm before I explained further. "She felt uncomfortable taking me with her to her doctor appointments because things between us were already awkward enough after the night we had spent together."

Watching Edward intently, the look of hurt crossed his face as I mentioned my night with Alyssa was easy to spot; although it disappeared just as fast as it appeared. I realized I was a sore subject, particularly after he had spent a lot of his time here to learn how to take care of Aden. Thinking back, I grew even more puzzled, Edward genuinely cared about Aden and then all of a sudden Aden wasn't my son? Slowly but surely I was speechless; all the people around me acted odder minutely and I was still none the wiser.

"Where does this come from all the sudden, Edward?"

Shaking his head, he stood up and started pacing. After several minutes of silence he finally answered, "Look, I don't have any proof if that's what you are looking for. Things don't add up in my book and you can call it intuition, gut feeling or whatever you want, but a DNA test is needed for clarification."

"Edward, please be rational," I frowned. "Neither can I pay for a paternity test nor do I need to have one taken because I already know that I'm Aden's father. I don't get it. Is this the jealousy speaking?"

"No," he sighed, his face a mask of frustration. "Don't you think this is a shit load more important than jealousy?"

"Over and over again we hear what jealousy evokes in people," I explained. "Just look at Juan."

"Did you just fucking compare me to Alyssa's abusive ex-boyfriend because I suggested that Aden might not be your son?" he hissed.

Sighing I shook my head, "It was just an example, Edward. Do you even realize how much your unfound accusations hurt me?"

"Do you know how much it hurts that you rather think of me as an irrational, jealous lover than consider that there might be some truth behind my words?" he retorted angrily.

"No, and I don't fucking care," I yelled, something inside me snapping as I punched my fist on the table between us. "You came here and played house for a couple of weeks, made me believe that you accepted my son as part of our lives and now, four days before you leave again, you try to convince me that Aden isn't my son. And you don't even have any fucking proof!"

"I've told you to do a damn DNA test, but you are too stubborn to accept any other view but your own and that's just not fair; not to me, not to you," Edward said, the last part quiet enough that I had trouble understanding him. "Or maybe you are just scared that I'm right on this one."

"I know that he is my son; there's no doubt about it in my mind and either you accept my son in our lives or you pack your things and leave," I snapped without hesitation. If Edward couldn't accept Aden, there was no hope for a future together.

I couldn't just sit and let him insult my relationship to my son, not when it felt like something inside of me broke every time Edward repeated his theory. I loved them both, but if it came to deciding between the love of my life and my son, Aden would always come first and I knew that Edward couldn't let it rest if by some misjudged opinion, he was as convinced of his theory as he seemed to be.

Nodding contemplative, Edward leaned back in his chair, but his calm exterior couldn't fool me; the anger glinting in his emerald eyes might have been overseen by a stranger, but I knew him well enough to see right through his façade.

"If that's your final decision," he murmured.

"It is," I confirmed quietly.

"You know," Edward said calmly, his gaze on mine. "Fuck you, too, Jasper. I'm trying to help and protect you, but all you do is tell me to leave because you don't want to hear the truth. I'm done."

Without waiting for my reaction, he stood up and walked out of the kitchen towards the bedroom to pack his things, I assumed. Looking after him, I sat back heavily – that was it. I had waited for most of my life for this relationship to happen and now, in a matter of minutes, it was over.

Sitting silently at the kitchen table, I waited for it to sink, for the panic to start, but there was only numbness and possibly a slight shock. I wasn't even mad at him because after all I had been the one that told him to leave. I knew that there probably would come a time when I would regret a lot of things said today, yet all of it couldn't overpower the betrayal I felt after his accusations.

Dragging his suit cases to the front door, Edward paused a moment before he entered Aden's room which told me again that I didn't have a clue to what was going on in his mind. After ten minutes he emerged from the nursery and his eyes, oddly red rimmed, locked with mine once more before he and his luggage were out of the front door without another word.

I wasn't able to have a chance to digest today's events as reality set in; my attention was demanded by Aden's soft cries over the baby phone. Fixing a bottle first, I retrieved Aden and sat with him in the living room and gave him his bottle. Gazing down at my greedily drinking one, I wondered once more how Edward had gotten these weird ideas.

This reminded me that I would need to check up on Alyssa sooner or later, not only did I want to hear her side of the story, but I was concerned about her mental health. I couldn't be sure that Edward's words hadn't made matters worse for her; it was only a couple of days after she had been beaten up by several men.

Brought out of my thoughts by Aden squirming in my arm, I set his bottle aside and waited for him to burp before I brought him to the bathroom and filled his baby bath tub with warm water. Gently undressing him, I was careful to support his little head above the water as I let his body sink into the water.

Aden loved to bathe and Edward had come to like this task almost as much as my son. The memories of the pictures I had taken one day, when Edward supported a happily splashing Aden in the water resurfaced, but I forced them out as soon as they came; for all I knew there would never be a repeat of these happy moments as a little family.

Rubbing Aden tenderly dry with a soft towel, I dressed him and took him to visit his mommy. Edward hadn't been the only one to act rude towards her; I had some apologizing to do, too. My anger hadn't been completely unfound and I would make sure that she understood why I had been angry in the first place, but I couldn't fault her for being afraid of Juan.

By the time I arrived at the hospital, I had a little over two hours before visiting time was over; plenty of time to sort things out with the mother of my son. I had picked up her favorite chocolate on the way here, thinking that she could use something to cheer her up a little; no matter how small.

Entering her room, Alyssa's tired eyes shifted towards me, but she didn't say a word. She still didn't look like herself, too many bruises covering her skin, but her complexion seemed to be better than yesterday.

Handing her the chocolate as a peace offering, I apologized, "I'm sorry Alyssa. You made a mistake, but my harsh words were unnecessary."

"It's okay," she whispered. "I'm sorry, too."

Leaning down I kissed her cheek softly, hoping that I wouldn't hurt her roughed up face and placed Aden in her waiting arms. "I want to put this behind us," I offered. "But can you promise me that you talk to me if there's ever the slightest chance of Aden or you being in danger?"

"I promise," she said quietly, two tears running over her cheeks. "I know that I have been stupid, there's no real excuse, but I've been scared and I'm glad that everything is in the open now. I only hope the police will find Juan soon."

"They will," I assured her, stroking my thumb over her hand. "You can come stay with me for a while when you are released; he won't hurt you anymore."

"I don't think Edward will be very fond of this idea."

"Edward left for the states today," I said without offering further explanation. "We'll make sure you and Aden are safe again."

"You mean it?" she breathed, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

Smiling, I nodded at her, "Of course, we are in this together, remember?"

"I do," she smiled back weakly.

Taking a deep breath, I considered my words carefully. "Look I'm sorry about what happened between Edward and you today. I had no idea what he was up to and there's no excuse for his accusations."

"Don't worry, Jasper," Alyssa assured me. "I'm sure the situation wasn't easy for Edward either. I can only imagine how hard it must be if your boyfriend has a child with another woman."

"That doesn't explain his behavior," I retorted and instantly felt the anger about Edward's actions bubble up in me again.

"Did something else happen between you and Edward?" Alyssa asked cautiously.

I shook my head, willing her to understand that I couldn't talk about it yet; saying out loud that we were over would make it real and I couldn't bear it at the moment, maybe I never could. Sensing my discomfort Alyssa switched to lighter topics, asking about Aden and if she had missed something new he had learned.

Thankfully for the change of tone the time seemed to fly by and soon it was time for me to leave. The nurse was ushering me and Aden out after I promised to Alyssa that I would be back in two days to pick her up when she was released from the hospital. I had wanted t visit her again the next day, thinking that her days might be extremely lonely at the hospital, but she promised that her mother, who was still riddled by her guilt for being on vacation when Alyssa was attacked, would probably be around the whole day.

On the ride home, Aden had fallen asleep and once he was safely tucked into his crib there was nothing left to do, but review my day as the silence started to press down on me. Retreating to my bedroom, I saw an opened photo album lying on the middle of my bed. I walked closer, it was the one Edward had given me when I left for Spain and for the first time today I truly choked up.

Thumbing through the pictures my heart grew heavier with each new picture. The happy memories, each of the pictures brought, faded with the realization that we might not have the chance to create new ones. Finally it hit home that Edward leaving meant that he wouldn't be back; not as my lover or confidant and probably not even as my best friend.

Putting the album aside, I watched the daylight fade from my bedroom and wished my sorrows would vanish as easily as the sun. Engulfed in the darkness, I lay on my bed while emotions inside me waged a war. I was torn between my lifelong feelings toward Edward, the knowledge that I had driven him away and the betrayal I still felt over his harsh words, especially after I had thought he was accepting our little unusual circumstance.

For hours I lay awake, contemplating where I had taken a wrong turn, yet I wasn't able to single out one action that triggered these chain reactions. There were too many factors to include in the whole mess. I couldn't stop myself from wondering where Edward was right now, was he already back on a plane to the states? Would he rethink his decision again and even more important would it change anything at all?

No, I decided; it wouldn't change a thing. The situation would stand between us for the rest of our lives, possibly destroying a relationship that neither of us ever thought was breakable before. We had both made our decision and reversing them wouldn't change a thing because deep down we were convinced that each of us knew the truth, as different as they were. There was no way that we would be able to go back on this without secretly wondering about the accusations that had fallen from our lips earlier.

Again, Aden's whimpers took my attention away from my own despair. Wiping the tears off my cheek, I stood to prepare Aden's bottle. I wasn't alone this time, I had Aden to care for; this time I couldn't fall apart and hide in the darkest corner of my room.

Thinking about mistakes of the past and how they could've been prevented wouldn't help me; there was a future to think about. As bleak as a future without Edward seemed to be, I had to be strong, if not for me then for Aden. He was the only innocent in this whole mess and deserved better than to have a father who was only a lifeless shell.

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**AN:**

So, who do you hate most? Jasper, Edward or maybe still Alyssa?

**Important: I'm looking for a beta/pre reader to go through a couple of contest O/S (one of them or more however you like). If one of you could help me out please let me know! :)**

Thank you all for the reviews and PMs on the last chapter, I loved all of them.

This wasn't an easy chapter to write and I'm still not a hundred percent sure I like it but no amount of deleting and rewriting seemed to help; it made me stuck with the original version in the end. Let me know your thoughts, good and bad :) And sorry for the slight delay in posting!

Special thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy who often had to deal with my insecurities lately, thanks hun!

Before I stop babbling, have you guys heard that there'll be a second round of the backslash contest? The last time it took place there were tons of awesome stories, here's the link for the slash-lovers (Probably all of you, considering that you read this story!) http:/www[.]fanfiction[.]net/~slashbackslash

Take care,

Sanny


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**EPOV**

Standing in front of the crib where Aden lay sleeping, I couldn't stop the tears from overflowing my eyes anymore. Saying goodbye to Aden was just as hard as breaking things off with Jasper; especially considering that Aden didn't do anything wrong. He was just a baby caught in the middle of this mess and didn't deserve to be dragged into this; he was still so innocent.

Stroking my thumb over his little cheek, I whispered, "You have to look out for your daddy, little man. Make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid."

Leaning down, I gently kissed his forehead, wiped the tears off my face and left the room silently. I walked towards the front door; my head bowed down and only raised my eyes for one short second to be met by Jasper's stony gaze before I was out of the door with my bags in hand.

Sitting down right in front of Jasper's house, another wave of tears crashed down on me; it was hard to believe that everything happening right now was real. I didn't want it to be real; I wanted to wake up finding this to be only a cruel nightmare. I hadn't meant for things to get so completely out of hand and while I understood that my thoughts had hurt Jasper, comparing me to Juan, when all I strived for was to protect him, had been too much.

I realized now that voicing my thoughts straight out hadn't been the wisest idea, but in the end it didn't matter. I had this gut feeling about Alyssa that wouldn't leave me alone and Jasper was one of the few people who could provide the truth, but he refused to do so vehemently. Maybe we both needed some time right now to come to terms with what had happened; especially Jasper.

I didn't delude myself into thinking that this wouldn't be standing between us for a long time, eventually a lifetime, but I couldn't fully smash the remains of my hope, that we could sort this out once we calmed down, just not yet. Sighing I wiped the tears from my face, took a shuddering breath and hailed a cab.

After several attempts in broken Spanish, because the driver didn't understand a single word English, he finally took me to the closest airport where my patience was tested once more as I tried to make it clear to the lady at the check-in that I needed a flight to the States as soon as possible; two days from now or even tomorrow wasn't good enough. I wanted to go home and wallow alone in private.

It had taken one hour until I finally had my flight booked. The boarding had already stopped, but there were still empty seats and the plane wasn't ready to take off just yet. Throwing a tired smile in the lady's direction, I made my way through the check-in; happy when I was finally seated. At least I had a little luck on this fucked up day as I had gotten a window seat; buckling the seatbelt, I drew the baseball cap on my head far down onto my face and angled my body towards the window. With my face shielded from view, I didn't care anymore when tears slid noiselessly over my cheeks.

I wished I'd have the fourteen hours flight behind me already, but as long as people left me alone, I would be fine. Only a few hours and I could fall apart all I wanted; I told myself over and over again. Still I was relieved when the plane was finally in the air, heading straight towards Seattle. Obviously thinking me asleep, the flight attendants left me alone; grateful for at least small wonders, my eyes grew heavier with every passing minute until I finally fell asleep; curled in on myself.

"_Jasper," I yelled, running towards the edge of the cliff where I let myself fall to my knees. Bending forward, I saw Jasper hanging just barely onto some rocks. _

"_Fuck, fuck, fuck," I cursed, extending my arm as far as possible, but Jasper didn't even react; he simply hung there. _

"_Jasper," I bellowed, panicking. "Take my fucking hand!" _

_This time his head turned upward and I was startled to see his face devoid of any emotion. Not knowing what else to do, I kept screaming at the top of my lungs, but there was nobody around to call for help; tears streamed down my cheeks until they were soaked up by my shirt._

_Then he whispered, "It's your fault."_

_I still wondered how I could've possibly understood his whisper, yet it echoed through my mind over and over again; my fault. "Jasper, c'mon," I begged as the tears streaming over my face blurred my view. "Please take my hand."_

_Nothing, not the least reaction showed in his eyes and then he opened first one hand and then the second ever so slowly; everything seemed to move in slow motion._

"_Nooo," I sobbed, shock coursing through my body as I sprang forward to grab a hold of him and fell right after him; darkness swallowing me. _

Waking with a start and a madly thudding heart, I was disoriented for a long moment before I realized that I was still sitting on the plane and falling off the cliff with Jasper had just been a terrible nightmare. The people around me stared and even though I didn't have a single idea what I did in my sleep, I could feel a blush rising to my cheeks.

Ignoring everyone, I rubbed my blurry eyes with both hands, hoping to rub some of the lingering shock away, but instead I was surprised to find my face tear streaked for the fourth time today. Willing my body to relax, I sunk back into my seat with the baseball cap hiding most of my face; maybe for once the "if I can't see you, you can't see me either" concept would work and people would stop staring at me like I was a circus freak.

Closing my eyes, I could still hear the Jasper from my dreams claiming that it was my fault. Could it be true? Had I overstepped my boundaries and destroyed my relationship, one of the things I loved dearest in my life?

I shook my head, trying desperately to push these dark topics from my mind; at least until I landed and had the privacy of my own home. Sighing, I clenched my eyes shut tightly and prayed for the remaining seven hours of the flight to pass fast. After I ordered a double scotch from the flight attendant, unconsciousness thankfully claimed me fast; this time without nightmares.

Landing at the airport, I realized that in my hurry to get the earliest flight back, I had forgotten to arrange for someone to pick me up. Claiming my luggage, I went to search for a cab, but came up empty. What the fuck? Never before did I have a problem finding a cab at an airport; I was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home. Cursing, I resorted to my least liked option and called my parents.

"Hello?" Esme's cheerful voice greeted me and it was all it took for my lousy self-control to snap once more; I wanted to be five years old again and crawl into my mother's lap, letting her soothe and cuddle me until I forgot where it hurt.

"Mom," I sobbed; my voice was rough and scratchy from hours of non-use.

"Edward, what happened?" Esme asked, directly switching into panic mode.

"I-I-I…," I stuttered through my sobs, not able to form a coherent sentence.

"Edward! Are you hurt? Are Jasper and Aden alright?" Esme pleaded with me for answers. "Please tell me what's wrong, honey."

Taking a deep breath, I croaked, "Pick me up please." And after a short pause I added, "Seattle airport."

Leave it to Esme not to sound the least bit surprised that I was back from Spain four days too early as she calmly said, "Stay where you are, your dad and I will be there in thirty minutes."

I could already hear the front door slam while I agreed to wait before we hung up. Looking around, my eyes fell on a bench that would provide direct sight of the entrance. Tugging my luggage towards it, I sank down on the bench and tried to get the handle on my emotions back on. I closed my eyes and focused on breathing in and out deeply; the last thing I needed right now was a panic attack.

Time past fast and soon I was tightly engulfed in my parent's hugs. Loading my entire luggage in their car, we took off for home; the first couple of minutes fairly silent until Esme started to speak, "Edward…"

I knew that she would question what had happened and interrupted her, "Mom, I know, but I feel filthy, gross and completely drained. Let me eat something and catch a shower as well as a couple hours of sleep and I will tell you everything."

She agreed, nodding her head, but I could see the look in her eyes; it clearly told me that she would wait no longer for an answer. She was in mama bear mode and wanted to know who had hurt her cub; the sooner the better. Fortunately the rest of the ride to my parent's house went by in a quiet fashion; Esme and Carlisle silently holding hands while I stared out of the car window, holding a tight leash on my emotions.

Arriving at their home, Esme shooed me out of the way, telling me to take a nap and relax while she prepared lunch for us. I knew it was useless to argue with her and simply slouched off towards my old teenage bedroom with half of my luggage in tow. The moment I entered, I realized the mistake I had made; one of the walls was plastered with pictures of me and my friends, most of them showing Jasper and me. The pressure started to build behind my eyes, burning with tears which I could hardly hold back.

I was so tired of crying and feeling betrayed; I wished I could just stop feeling – a pleasant numbness was all I wanted to feel right now. Grabbing the first clean clothes from my suit case, I moved to the adorning bathroom and stripped down naked. Standing underneath the hot flow of water, I let go; tears mingling with the water before they washed down the drain.

In my emotional state combined with the time difference between Seattle and Spain, I lost every concept of time, standing under the water until my skin started wrinkling. Turning off the water, my tears stopped as well. I didn't even bother with drying off, simply wrapped a towel around my hips and walked back into my room; this time I was more careful to avoid the pictures on the wall. I didn't feel necessarily tired, but once I lay down on my bed, I fell asleep until Esme woke me for lunch almost two hours later.

Thankfully my nap was dreamless; the panic from my dream on the plane was still fresh on my mind. Throwing on the clothes I had lain out before my shower, I went to join Esme and Carlisle in the kitchen where I was met by the smell of lasagna. I'm sure Esme meant well, knowing it was one of my favorites, but all I could think about, was Jasper cooking the same dish for us and the sex we had instead of eating it. My stomach turned at the thought, but I still sat down at the table; smiling tightly at Esme as she handed me a plate filled with lasagna. Eating every last bite, I politely declined seconds while Esme scolded me for not eating enough and being too thin.

"Don't worry, mom," I said, rising to my feet to help her with the dishes. "I promise to take better care of myself."

Hugging me with all her strength, she seemed satisfied by my answer, at least for the moment," Now stop being silly and join your father in the living room. I'll just get the desert before I join you."

The desert turned out to be Esme's heavenly, self-made cheesecake, another of my favorites; almost as if she knew that I would come home today. It was clear that once the cake was gone it would be time for me to do some explaining. I didn't mind, my parents had a right to know why I had called them crying and asked to be picked up. It wouldn't be easy for me to explain the whole situation without causing myself to snap again and I still contemplated how much to tell them.

I slowed down eating until I decided it would be best for them to know everything; which is exactly what I did. I told them about our communication problems at the beginning of our separation, and then I moved on to Aden's birth, telling them how I felt about this part of Jasper's life; an experience I could never share with him. Next I recollected the story about Alyssa, Juan and what he had done to her. I told them in smallest details about Alyssa's behavior, hoping to hear that my parents saw in the same way I did; that I wasn't paranoid and crazy with jealousy.

The longer I talked, the more the worry in their eyes grew. When I told them how Alyssa said that it wouldn't matter what I did because I would be out of their lives in a couple of days, Esme sprung to her feet, cursing Alyssa like I've never heard Esme curse before. Turning to my dad with raised eyebrows, he grinned and shrugged at me, obviously not even half as surprised at his wife's antics as I was. Shaking my head, I interrupted her rant, "Mom, let me finish telling you everything, will you?"

"I'm sorry, dear," she apologized, visibly working to regain her control. "Go on, please."

Taking a deep breath, I told them about me and Jasper breaking up while I continued explaining the reason behind this mess; everything about my feelings regarding Alyssa's honesty and Jasper's fatherhood. Sharing my theory about Aden not being Jasper's, Esme's control was forgotten as she hissed, "Wait until I get my fingers on this little whore."

And as much as I wanted to cry while talking about all of this, my mom's fierceness brought a little smile to my lips. "Mom," I interrupted her again. "Jasper is a hundred percent sure that Aden is his. Don't talk to him about it, it's enough that we broke up because of this, there's no need for you to fight with him as well, okay?"

Averting her eyes, Esme nodded slightly, but that wasn't good enough; things with Jasper would only escalate more if Esme talked to him and I didn't want that. There was nothing to worry about Carlisle; he would mind his own business but Esme… I wasn't so sure about her.

"Don't tell Maria either, promise me, mom," I demanded.

"Fine," she agreed grudgingly. "Not a single word to Jasper or Maria, I promise."

"Thanks," I said relieved. If Maria heard of this she might jump on the next plane to Spain and drag Jasper home, making him hate me even more in the process because I brought our moms against him. He was old enough that he should be allowed to make his own decisions; it was his life.

Getting everything off my chest, I felt better, telling them hadn't been easy just like I had suspected, but knowing that I wasn't paranoid, like Jasper made me out to be, helped a lot. It didn't make things easier per se, but at least I knew it wasn't all on me. Sipping the glass of scotch my dad had brought me, I actually felt oddly calm. Things were out of my hands now and there was nothing more I could do but hope that Jasper might come to his senses. I could only hope that once he calmed down, he might start thinking about what I told him; that he might see through Alyssa's facade.

By the time I went to bed, I had accumulated a nice buzz, but unlike I would've wished; it made my thoughts swirl more and more. Soon I would need to tell our friends that we weren't a couple anymore, I doubted Jasper would take over that part and I didn't look forward to it either. I couldn't be fully truthful with them because I knew that some of them wouldn't hold their tongue. Telling people about our break up made things seem real and I couldn't pretend anymore that it hadn't happened; not that I could with my tear ducts on the loose anyway. Never in all the time had I even considered what would happen if we would break up, I had simply assumed that we would be together forever; it sounded naïve just thinking about it.

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**AN:**

**Is Edward really as naïve as he thinks? And will Esme hold her promise?**

**Tell me your thoughts, good and bad like always! Thanks again for all the great responses on the last chapter :)! Thanks to Kathy for being awesomeness in person and dealing with all my insecurities.. Oh, and beta reading everything I send to her!**

**A teaser for the next chapter will be up on my blog around Saturday :).**

**Important (maybe :D): I'll be posting a couple of Contest One-Shots soon; one slash, one non-canon (a first for me - straight lemon!) and one isn't finished yet but will be slash as well. If you are interested check out my profile by next week or put me on author alert.**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**JPOV**

Once Alyssa was home from the hospital and I started working again, time seemed to fly; thankfully pushing the topic of our breakup out of my mind. Sometimes it would still creep up on me, but I simply tried to ignore these thoughts after allowing myself to wallow the first day _he_ was gone.

I had found a comfortable rhythm between work, taking care of Aden and spending most of my evenings watching movies with Alyssa or just talking to her. It was almost like I was back to doing my internship with the exception of Aden and if I put enough effort in it, I could almost pretend that I would soon go back to the States and resume my friendship with _him_. Meanwhile Alyssa did her best to keep me distracted from any glum thoughts and most of the time it worked.

Refocusing my attention to my son who lay sleeping in my arms, brought _his_ insinuations back though and with it the rage bubbled up in me. I wondered how we could ever make it through this and regain our friendship when I couldn't even get over my anger after two weeks. Sure it would fade within time, but wouldn't it be an undying accusation, especially if Edward held onto his theory while I refused to acknowledge it?

_That's useless_, I scolded myself silently. Brooding over this time and time again wouldn't change a thing; I only tortured myself with it. Carefully standing up, I went to the nursery and lay Aden down in his bed; it was unbelievable how fast he was growing.

Making sure that he was still deep asleep, I turned the baby phone on and tiptoed out of the room just as Alyssa called my name from the bathroom. Knocking, I waited for her to call me in before I entered. She was relaxing in the tub for a while already it seemed as there were barely any bubbles left to hide much of her body.

Averting my eyes quickly, I asked, "What is it?"

"Jasper, there's nothing you haven't seen here," she giggled. "Your construct to keep the water off my cast came loose and I didn't plan on getting out of here just yet."

Nodding, I scooted down to my knees and her arm towards me; the tape that was supposed to hold the plastic bag around the cast on her arm, to keep it dry, had come off. I could understand how she wouldn't want to get out of the tub just yet, it was the first bath after two weeks of sponge baths; this morning her last stitches finally came out. Fetching the tape, I reapplied it and made sure it was all waterproof before I released her arm again.

"There you go," I smiled.

"Thanks," she smiled back and leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek, giving me an unexpected view of her whole chest which she didn't seem to notice. Leaning back, she leisurely propped her legs on top of the tub and sighed happily.

"Since you are done with your medication," I said. "How about a nice glass of red wine?"

"Sure, sounds awesome," she agreed, her eyes closed.

Pushing off the floor, I retrieved two glasses and the wine from the kitchen before I rejoined her in the bathroom. I sat down on the floor with my back against the tub and filled both glasses. Handing Alyssa one, I took a sip from my own glass.

"Mhm," I breathed, enjoying the rich taste on my tongue and hoped that it would chase the thoughts from my head.

"Yes," Alyssa murmured. "It tastes really good."

Sighing contently, I let my head rest against the cold tiles of the tub, my eyes closing as my exhaustion started to take over. I hadn't slept well lately and avoided sitting still for too long, not wanting my thoughts to take over. Then Alyssa's fingers weaved through my hair, her nails scraping my scalp as I relaxed more and more under the heavenly ministrations of her fingertips while I slowly sipped m wine.

When Alyssa's hand pulled away a couple of minutes later, I groaned in protest but she chuckled, "It's getting dark already and I'm all wrinkled."

"Alright," I conceded. "I'll leave you to it then."

I didn't even reach the door before Alyssa called me again. Turning towards her, I waited for her to go on. "I'm a little dizzy," she admitted sheepishly.

"Looks like the medicine is still present in your system," I chuckled and fetched the huge towel she had lain out. Opening it in front of me, I stepped closer, averted my eyes and said, "Step out and I'll catch you if something happens, just be careful."

Doing as I told her, she slowly stepped into my arms, swaying on her feet for a moment; I wrapped the towel around her.

"Thanks, Jasper," she whispered, kissing my cheek softly. "I think I'll be okay now, if I feel dizzy again, I will call you."

"You are welcome," I nodded and picked up our glasses and the wine before I left the room for Alyssa to dress.

Today seemed to be a perfect evening for lazily lounging around. Thus I quickly ordered a pizza, turned on the TV and settled down on the couch with a refilled glass of wine. Ten minutes later, Alyssa still hadn't joined me and I was already bored of the stupid movie playing on TV. It didn't take much longer until my eyes started falling shut, but just as I was about to drift off, Alyssa bustled into the room; dressed in shorts and a top. She chose a random movie from my DVD collection and settled down on the couch next to me. About to press play, the doorbell interrupted, startling Alyssa.

"I've ordered pizza," I explained hastily, knowing that she had developed an aversion to uninvited guests since her attack. I had already tried to convince her to go to therapy, but she refused vehemently and I didn't want to keep arguing with her unnecessarily; she knew that I would always be here for her and in the end it was her decision.

Paying the guy, my stomach rumbled loudly when the delicious pizza smell hit my nose. Bringing two plates, I loaded both with two slices and sat back down next to Alyssa. We both ate quietly, watching the movie, which I didn't quite like, until the last slice was gone. I hadn't even realized how hungry I had been till I had the food in front of me. Now though I was full and contently relaxed into the couch, pulling Alyssa against me to cuddle.

While she snuggled against me, I contemplated why things couldn't be easy for once. I was convinced that I could love her, maybe not on the same level I loved _him, _but our son would be able to grow up in a real family. And wasn't that what was most important; our son? Being able to live with both parents, instead of spending his time split with each of them, surely couldn't be a bad thing. Or maybe it could, if our relationship couldn't convey the love every child should be taught. Just like my parents had done until death did them apart and my mom still did.

Mine and Alyssa's relationship was more like a friendship, even though I loved her in a way one could only love the mother of his child. I was beyond grateful to her that she gave me a chance of fatherhood although it wasn't planned and had me scared shitless. By the time the movie credits ran over the screen, I decided that I would never know unless I tried.

"Alyssa?" I murmured, not sure if she had fallen asleep. Sitting up she smiled at me and waited for me to go on.

"I want to try," I continued, almost stumbling over the words as I tried to get them out as fast as possible before I could change my mind again. Upon seeing the confused expression on her face, I clarified, "You and me as a couple. I know it is really soon after my break up which I'm not over yet, but if you want to try as well, even when things might be slow paced for a while, then I'm in."

Noticing that I started to ramble, I shut up and glanced at Alyssa warily. She had tears in her eyes when she spoke, "Of course I want to. No matter how much time you need, I think Aden deserves it that we at least give this a shot, right?"

Nodding, I kissed her cheek; it was all I was able to muster and she suggested that we should go to sleep because of an early doctor appointment to get her cast off, insisting that I sleep in my bed with her. Taking a deep breath, I agreed; the couch had become extremely uncomfortable in the past weeks and it was only sleeping, right?

Four weeks later, I still had trouble falling asleep together in bed with Alyssa because I feared the moment of waking up. Every morning in a state between awake and still asleep, I was drawn to the warm body next to me until I started wondering why it was all wrong. Instead of lean muscle, slightly scratchy chin stubble and a flat chest I was met by a soft body with breasts and no facial hair. Every morning, I had to go through the torture of my sleepy mind realizing that _he _and I had broken up almost two months ago. And still even thinking _his _name hurt so much that I completely avoided it. I had even started avoiding mum and my friends from the States; their casual mentions of _him_ had hurt too much to bear.

Daily, I convinced myself anew that it was the right choice to try and pursue a relationship with Alyssa; she was the mother of my son after all. She was still at home most of the day, giving me the chance to increase my working hours while she took care of Aden. I had been pulling enough working hours to easily cover most of the day; it went so far that my boss asked me if I was in financial problems because I was working too much. It had taken a while to convince him that I wasn't in trouble and simply wanted to further my degree. It sounded like a good excuse to me and he let the topic drop, though I suspected that he never truly believed me; nevertheless I was thankful that he let it rest.

Once a week, every Saturday, I took Alyssa out on our date night while her parents looked gladly after Aden. We would go to nice restaurants, a movie or a simple walk afterwards. Safe, standard things and we never progressed further than kissing which already made me slightly uncomfortable. Alyssa understood and gave me all the time I needed without ever pressuring for more.

Tonight was no different as I stood in the bathroom, getting dressed after my shower. I had reserved us a table in a small, cozy Italian restaurant. Bustling into the bathroom, Alyssa held the phone out to me.

"It's your mom, "She said, struggling a little with the baby bag as she shifted Aden in her arms. "I'm off to bring him to my parents and visit for a little. I'll be back in time for our date in two hours."

Nodding my head in agreement, I kissed her lips chastely before taking the phone from her hands. "Hello mom, is everything okay?"

"Of course, what wouldn't be?" she asked, her voice colored in irritation.

"Because it must be late for you with the time difference and all," I explained, wondering about her mood. My mother rarely grew irritated and even then she hid it well from others.

Ignoring me completely, she said, "You barely ever call and when I call there's always this woman on the phone. Is that why you and Edward broke up?"

I winced upon hearing his name, but simultaneously knew that this mess was my fault; I should have explained things to her a while ago already. Suddenly I was beyond nervous answering her, "No, we broke up because… things didn't work out. Alyssa and I decided to try as couple and she moved in."

There was a short, grave silence before my mother's voice, now two octaves higher than usual, cracked over the phone, "You what? You can't even say his name out loud, yet you thought it a good idea to hook up with that woman who lured you to Spain in the first place?"

"Mom," I groaned, knowing this would be useless. My mother disliked Alyssa for, as she put it, luring me to Spain. "Please, her name is Alyssa and you know that it was my decision to move here."

"Only because she refused to move to the US," my mother retorted, outraged.

"In the end it was my own decision to live here. Can't you let it rest, mama?" I tried reasoning with her. "Wouldn't you rather hear about your grandchild?"

"You are making a mistake, son," she said, the intensity fading from her voice before she finally conceded, "Yes, tell me about my little sunshine and send me more pictures, I'm sure he has grown a lot since the last ones you sent me."

Glad that she finally gave in, I told her about Aden and my work for the next hour then it was time to say goodbye for now and get ready for my date with Alyssa. The evening with her was nice with a lot of laughing and talking, she obviously mastered the art of distracting me. Later that evening, I still lay in bed awake most of the night; with thoughts about the argument with my mother swirling through my mind until I was basically passing out from exhaustion.

The following week everything was back to its usual rhythm; waking up, working, spending time first with Aden, then dinner with Alyssa, a quick shower and back to bed. Sometimes I wondered if this was a glimpse of my future; the same damn thing day in and day out. To top it all off, I had never felt this uncomfortable in my own skin. Giving up wasn't an option though. _It's probably just a phase, _I told myself several times a day.

On Thursday my routine was jostled, coming home I ran into Alyssa who had apparently just hopped out of the shower. She only had a towel wrapped around her, her hair still dripping when my eyes came to rest on the blue, green and purple bruises covering her shoulders and upper arms.

"When was he here?" I growled taking a step closer to get a better look at the bruising. Taking a step back, it took her a moment to realize that the towel didn't cover her shoulders. Her whole body started shaking, her eyes growing wide as she swallowed visibly before answering in a whisper, "Yesterday."

"And you lied to me _again _because…?" I inquired, trying really, really hard to mask my anger; I didn't want her to be afraid of me as well.

"He said that he would hurt you and Aden if I called the police," she sobbed and sank to her knees. "And I can't lose you."

Now this was just rich; this fucking looser needed a threat to hurt a new mother's child to have her comply with his wishes. It was hard to fight against the furry building inside of me; Alyssa was already skittish without being afraid of me, I didn't want to add to her discomfort. Kneeling down beside her, I wrapped my arms tightly around her and soothed, "Shhhh, don't cry my sweetheart, I won't let him hurt Aden or me."

Feeling her hesitant nod against my chest, I lifted her as I came to stand on my feet and moved us to the couch. Sitting her down, I went to get two bottles of water and handed her one. I waited till she drank a bit of it before I spoke up again, "We've been over this, Alyssa. No more lies about Juan showing up, promise me."

"I promise," she sniffed, snuggling closer to me.

"Thank you," I murmured, hugging her to me and kissing the top of her head. "We have to tell the police about it, but don't worry about me or Aden; Juan won't be able to hurt us."

I wasn't exactly sure what happened because one minute we were cuddling and the next Alyssa was straddling me, her lips moving against mine. After over two months without an orgasm, one quick movement against my groin was enough to get me hard, neither did it matter anymore that these weren't rough male hands exploring my body, but soft, female ones.

One of Alyssa's hands slipped under my shirt, dragging it over my chest before she pulled her lips from mine to lift the shirt over my head. Maneuvering our bodies so that I could lie down with her on top of me, it didn't take long for our lips to come back together in a heated kiss; her probing tongue pressing against mine.

Her tiny body writhed atop of me while I tried to ignore every single cell of me that screamed in protest at the wrong body moving against me; it was too small, without hard muscles and simply not the one I wanted so desperately – yet I couldn't seem to stop. Clenching my eyes shut tightly, I ignored the feeling of wrongness and focused my attention wholly on kissing Alyssa until we both saw stars.

My hands moved to her ass, pressing her pelvis into my erection for some much needed friction.

"Alyssa," I groaned, breaking the kiss. Alyssa didn't let that stop her. She just moved her mouth over my neck, sucking hard. Only when I groaned her name once more, did she pull away far enough to gaze into my eyes.

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**AN:**

**Will Jasper sleep with her nor not?**

**Please don't murder me, let me know your thoughts though :).**

**Thanks for the reviews, alerts and PMs on the last chapter; I'm sorry that I didn't get around to replying. I read them all though and loved every single one!**

**Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for her beta skills, you are the best!**

**The One Shots I mentioned in the last AN are now up, read them if you like :)!**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**Previously**

_My hands moved to her ass, pressing her pelvis into my erection for some much needed friction._

"_Alyssa," I groaned, breaking the kiss. Alyssa didn't let that stop her. She just moved her mouth over my neck, sucking hard. Only when I groaned her name once more, did she pull away far enough to gaze into my eyes. _

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**JPOV**

Taking a deep breath to fill my head with enough oxygen to think halfway clearly, I said, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I don't think I'm ready for this yet."

I didn't even care how girlish I sounded right now; I only felt relieved when I finally sat up, bringing some distance between us. Only mere seconds after I saw her chin quivering, I realized that she was crying and guilt started creeping up on me.

"Am I so ugly now that I've given birth to a child?" She sniffed before I could even ask what was wrong.

Pulling her back into my arms, it wasn't easy to suppress the chuckle that threatened to escape my lips. From all the reasons she could have chosen, she had chosen the silliest one.

"You didn't just bear any child," I chided gently. "You've given birth to our son and if anything, it made you more beautiful."

"Do you really mean that?" she asked, whispering.

"Promise," I assured her, and pecked her lips softly. As always Aden found the perfect moment to wake up, his cries alerting us even without the baby phone. Pulling away from each other, I held Alyssa back with a hand on her arm and said, "I'll feed him, go on to bed. I'll join you when I'm done."

"Thanks," she smiled; her eyes still a little red as she leaned in to peck my lips once more.

Fixing a bottle swiftly, I went to get Aden and bring him back to the living room with me. It didn't take him long to empty the bottle and burp before I changed his diaper and walked him through the apartment. Luckily, he lately seemed to have a phase in which he slept through most of the night; we could only hope that it would last.

Now if only someone hadn't gotten my son hooked on music to fall asleep; hearing his compositions still hurt like nothing else. Once the music played though, Aden happily quieted down and I could leave the room while the rest of the CD played. Turning off the lights, I made my way to the bathroom and stripped down to my boxer shorts before I quickly brushed my teeth and joined Alyssa under the covers.

She was already fast asleep, a circumstance in which I was thankful for. My mind had already enough thoughts whirling through it without Alyssa adding to them. On some days, I contemplated seeing a doctor in hopes of a sleeping pill description. Lying awake every night for several hours until utter exhaustion forced me to sleep, started to mess with my life.

Not only did I make more mistakes at work, but my eyes wanted to rest badly while I was driving home on the highway yesterday and I almost crashed into another car. Tonight was no different; I was awake till almost 4 AM before I succumbed to sleep.

When my alarm went off at 7 AM the next morning, I really would've liked to throw it against the wall. Nonetheless I sat up grudgingly and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. In the end I had to get up anyway, today was Aden's check up and there was no way that I would've missed it.

It was hard to believe that four months had passed since his birth; it almost seemed like yesterday when Alyssa told me about her pregnancy. The appointment though turned out to be a complete information overload.

Aden let the doctor check and poke him without fuss until the doc declared that everything progressed perfectly. After assuring us once more that Aden had caught up to the development of a baby carried to term, even though he was roughly four weeks premature. Furthermore, he told us that Aden would soon start to develop sleep patterns and gave us tips on how to establish these habits better. Aden might still wake sometimes to feed though because of a growth spurt that usually hits between the third and fourth months, leaving him more hungry than usual. He might even get his first teeth soon.

Happy that everything went well, we went for a short walk through the city before I drove Alyssa and Aden home; for me it was time to get to work. First I called the police though; it was time to let them know about Juan's continued visits. With a frustrated sigh I ended the short call, wondering how they still hadn't managed to get a hold of that guy.

I just hoped his threats of hurting Aden were nothing more than empty threats, but so far he had apparently been in my son's presence at least twice and never hurt him, although Alyssa had been hurt both times. There was nothing I could do at all and it frustrated me endlessly.

It was a slow day at work as well and instead of brooding about all the shitty things from the past weeks, I edited pictures of Aden; tinkering a little with their effects and colors before I sent them to my mom like she requested on the phone last weekend.

Opening my e-mail account, I was surprised to find not only an e-mail from Esme, but also my mom, who usually preferred phoning over e-mailing as it seemed to make nagging at me easier. Hovering over the two e-mails with the cursor, I contemplated which to open first. I had no idea what he had told his parents about our break up, thus Esme's mail might entail things that I might not want to hear.

Deciding that the one from Esme might be harder to read, I clicked on it and started reading before I lost my nerve.

_Hello dear,_

_I hope you are doing well or at least as well as can be expected._

_I promised Edward to keep out of this, but when Maria told me about your relationship with Alyssa, I couldn't hold back any longer. Edward told us everything and I'll be honest with you, I expected better._

_You both made a huge drama about something that could be easily fixed with two hairs, yet you are too stubborn._

_I've known you all your life and find it hard to believe that you so carelessly threw away your relationship, but it seems you did without a second thought._

_I'm not sure if you realize how fast you have thrown a lifelong friendship away for a person you've known roughly two years. Edward is my son and I love him, but I love you like my son as well; it breaks my heart to see you two like this._

_Edward and Carlisle have told me numerous times to let you lead your own life; they are right, but I can't help and ask you to rethink matters at least once more. I don't want you to regret these decisions for the rest of your life. _

_Furthermore I feel the need to warn you. Nobody told Maria what truly happened and we won't – it's your place to tell her .However she saw Edward a couple of days ago, for the first time since he's been back and he isn't at his best right now. She was outraged. I wish you good luck._

_Love, Esme_

Reading her e-mail twice, I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths before I clicked on my mom's e-mail and started reading it.

_Jasper Whitlock, this is everything but a simple "We didn't work out"._

_I'm tired of you avoiding your own mother; I want to hear the truth. I expect to hear from you by the end of the week, else I'll take it upon myself to visit my son and find out the truth for myself. _

_It is completely unlike you to lie to me like that; I'm highly disappointed._

Alright, this one I had definitely brought on myself. I knew beforehand that my mom would be furious with me if she found out that I wasn't telling her the truth, yet I had chosen to do so anyway. Sighing I put my head in my hands; the whole reason I didn't tell her, was that she already disliked Alyssa and the reason for my break-up with him would only edge her on more. I decided to call her on the weekend, it would leave me a couple of days to think about what to tell her before she made good on her promise to come to Spain.

Turning off my laptop, I scrounged my things together and thanks to my enormous amount of over hours, my boss had no problem with me calling it an early day. I needed some time for myself to clear my head from this mess before I went home.

Opting for a walk, I wandered through Barcelona for hours. It didn't exactly clear my head, but I had managed to walk off my restlessness. I was starting to get hungry and thought it a nice idea to cook for Alyssa after I had refused her yesterday evening. It would hopefully lift some of the awkwardness between us.

Thus I stopped at a grocery store, buying everything to cook a nice chicken parmesan and by the time I was done shopping and on my way home, I was still two hours earlier than when I worked and hoped to have some more time to play with Aden today.

Walking into my living room though, I had to look twice to determine if I was dreaming the scene in front of me or not. There was Alyssa lying on the couch in nothing but panties with her eyes clenched shut, on top of her was a man in an equal state of undress. Someone I could easily recognize from the pictures Alyssa had shown to the police; Juan.

"What the fuck?" I growled, dropping the shopping bags carelessly to the floor as I stepped closer. Both of them startled at the sound of my angry voice, Alyssa's eyes widening as she starred at me in shock while Juan's face quickly morphed into an ugly sneer.

"What is you fucking problem, man?" He scowled, his English almost free of an accent. "I'm just showing her whom she belongs to, aren't I babe?"

"Enough," I interrupted before Alyssa had the chance to say a single word. It took a great effort to stay calm, but I couldn't risk Alyssa or Aden getting hurt if I gave in to my desire to beat the shit out of this piece of scum. "You won't. Not in my house, on my fucking couch. I give you three minutes to get your ass out of here; else I'll call the police. Breaking and entering combined with assault sounds lovely, doesn't it?"

"Whatever," he murmured, still sneering as he got up and started redressing. "This isn't over yet."

"Just get the fuck out before I lose the rest of my control," I hissed, my anger rising along with his attitude. When he was finally out of the door, I turned my attention back to Alyssa whom I had ignored until now. She had only sat up, but made no move to put some clothes on; her eyes unfocused and starring at nothing but air.

"Alyssa?" I asked quietly, afraid to startle her. "Do I need to call an ambulance?"

Focusing her gaze on me, she shook her head frantically and started crying almost hysterically which didn't help me in the slightest. Inching forward, I grabbed the blanket lying on the loveseat, wrapped it around her and made my way to the nursery hastily. Making sure that Aden was unharmed, I watched him sleep for a few seconds; my anger melting slowly.

On my way back to the living room, I fetched a bottle of water from the kitchen and placed it on the table in front of Alyssa as I sat down next to her; in what I was hoping, a not too uncomfortable distance for her. Her sobs had slowed to hiccups; tears trailing over her cheeks. She didn't say a word, only smiled sadly at the bottle while I wondered if I should say something first or wait for her to talk.

Sitting back, I decided to wait for her; she would explain what happened on her own time and I didn't want to pressure her unnecessarily.

"I'm sorry," she hiccupped after some time, her eyes fixed on her lap.

Hoping that she would continue, I gave her some more minutes which we spent in silence before I started to speak, "What did I walk in on here tonight? Explain to me what happened please?"

Sighing, she finally turned towards me, her big eyes still filled with tears. "I'm so fucking stupid, Jasper. I was more afraid of him than I believed in you."

Listening to her words, I had no damn clue what she was talking about. Picking up on my confusion she continued explaining hesitantly, "H-he said that he would kill you if I d-didn't…"

"If you didn't sleep with him?" I prodded gently. How my voice sounded unbelievably calm when my interior was about to explode in anger, was beyond me.

She nodded, stuttering," Y-yes, he said t-t-that I was his and he needed to r-r-r-r… reclaim me."

"He's one sick piece of shit," I hissed, frustrated with myself now that I hadn't come home instead of taking a walk; I could've been able to prevent this. "Why didn't you call the police or at least me?"

Wordlessly she pointed to the floor right behind the couch where her cell phone lay broke, surrounded by a dozen tiny pieces of plastic.

"We have to call the police now, you realize that, right?" I asked, waiting for her to nod her confirmation and continued talking, "I'll get you some sandwiches, you need to eat something and I can call the police meanwhile."

Again, she nodded half-heartedly and I went to the kitchen to get sandwiches done, the phone wedged between my head and shoulders as I worked. The officers asked me a lot of questions as I wondered why he'd even ask me; I hadn't been the damn victim.

When I answered his question if there was a forced penetration with a growled _I don't know_, he had the nerve to tell me that they couldn't do much then except take Alyssa's statement. In the end it would most likely stand word against word because without any outward signs, nobody could truly tell which of the parties was lying. Apparently there wasn't a single thing right now to prove that the almost sex wasn't consensual.

Through clenched teeth I asked him if she could shower and dress since there was no evidence to be found on her body anyway. He told me that would be fine as long as there wasn't any intercourse and that her body should be checked for bruises or similar first. Afterwards he assured me to come by our place in a little while to take our statements and I felt like I had just spoken to one of the biggest idiots alive.

At least Alyssa had eaten her sandwiches, though her eyes were still glued to the plate; she almost seemed afraid to look at me. Relaying my phone call as calmly as possible, I repeated three times that she needed to check her body for bruises; making sure she understood what I said.

"There are only the ones on my shoulders which are extremely faded," she whispered. "They'll know without a doubt that they aren't from today."

"Please, Alyssa," I practically begged. "Check anyway, okay?"

"I will," she agreed, quietly shuffling towards the bathroom which left me sitting alone in the kitchen with my emotions all over the place.

Checking the clock, I realized that it was way past time to wake Aden from his nap and I didn't want to make it harder for him to develop a sleeping rhythm; waking him up regularly might help. Tiptoeing to his room, I gently ran my fingertips several times over his tiny cheek before I lifted him into my arms and carried him to the living room where his play blanket still laid spread across the floor.

Aden's eyes slowly opened as I lay him down, a hearty yawn parting his pink lips. Bending over him, my fingers tickled his belly and his happy gurgling made all my worries disappear for a moment. Reaching towards my face with both tiny hands, he grasped a few strands of my hair, reminding me that I needed to get a haircut badly.

Playing with Aden a little longer, it didn't take long until he started fussing around. Thinking that he was most likely hungry, I hoisted him on my hip to take him with me to the kitchen and fix a bottle. The task of preparing bottles with Aden awake had become increasingly difficult the older he got; he wouldn't stop wriggling and grasping everything in his reach. Glad that the struggling was over once the milk was heated; I sat us down in the living room and fed my son.

I was shocked how fast he emptied the bottle and made a mental note to check for more solid baby food tomorrow; the milk alone didn't seem to fill him enough anymore. Covering my shoulder in a towel, I lay Aden against it and rose to my feet. Alyssa entered the room as I walked up and down, patting Aden's back gently, but she didn't pay us much attention; she sat down, still starring into empty air.

About to ask her if there was anything I could do, Aden burped; spewing white goo all over me. Grimacing, I lifted him away and cleaned his face before I handed him to Alyssa. "Hold him please while I clean up will you?" I murmured, setting Aden down in her arms without waiting for an answer and went to dispose of the towel.

Pulling off my shirt, I threw it in the hamper and then the door bell rang. I hurried to redress, knowing that Alyssa wouldn't open the door and hastily let two police officers into our apartment. They politely declined a drink, but sat down and started questioning Alyssa immediately while I entertained Aden. I wasn't keen in hearing about Juan's cowardice again and did my best to blend out most of the talk; having Aden gurgle happy sounds at me, helped immensely to keep my attention away from Alyssa's statement.

Even my anger kept at bay until one of the officers asked Alyssa if Juan had threatened her for sex before. My eyes snapped to her as she hesitated to answer and I guiltily realized that I hadn't thought about this before. When she finally nodded her head affirmative, it took all my willpower to keep my anger in.

The officer didn't pay any attention to me, asking her now if it had resulted in intercourse. This time there was a longer pause before she quietly whispered, "Yes."

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**AN:**

**Let's all take a deep breath; he didn't sleep with her that counts for something, right? ;) I'm curious who'll pick up on the little hints in this chapter :) Let me know your thoughts, good and bad!**

**Thanks again to everyone who read, reviewed or left me a PM. I know that I didn't reply to any, I've been on vacation and hotmail decided to swallow my e-mails and throw them into the nirvana. The last chapter had the most responses of the whole story and I'm still a little surprise about all the hate for Jasper!**

**Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for being my beta even when I make a mess of things ;)!**

**Now I've talked enough!**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

**Info to this chapter: Just to avoid any confusion the timeline of this chapter overlap with the last 2 chapter. This chapter picks up after chapter 24 (the last EPOV).**

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**EPOV**

After the first night at my parents' home, it was time for me to go back to my own house. It was a strange feeling to come home to an empty house after I was in constant company for about three weeks. In Spain there had always been commotion with Jasper and the three month old Aden around; only thinking about them, made me feel like I was about to suffocate.

Pushing them from my mind, I busied myself with unpacking my bags; sadly it didn't even take me two hours. I didn't want to sit around doing nothing; I knew how fast the depressing thoughts would creep up on me. There was one more week to get over though before my new semester started and it turned out to be the longest week of my life.

At first I started doing chores around the house like laundry, cleaning and mopping the floors, but not even four days later the house was spotless; I couldn't remember if my house had been this clean before. Then I began working in the garden. Weeding and mowing turned into planting and by the end of the week, my garden displayed dozens of different colors; I had made sure to pick the brightest colored flowers in hopes that they would bring some cheerfulness back into my life.

All in all, I had found a new hobby in gardening, yet I was beyond grateful when it was time to continue with my studies. As much calm as I found while gardening, it wasn't something to occupy my mind with once it grew dark in the evening. I really hoped that going back to school would help and I knew that if I steered clear of the piano, I could do this.

The piano had always brought out my emotions and while writing music was one of my fiercest passions and favorite way to pass time, I knew it would bring back memories of me and Jasper; memories I was too afraid to deal with at the moment. Like predicted school kept me busy most of the time, I didn't completely stop writing music though; after all, composing was one of my majors.

Time flew as weeks blurred together and I learned to live with the void that Jasper had left in my life. The only time I still socialized was every Sunday when I went to my parents for lunch. Emmett, Rosalie, Bella and Seth had given up on spending time with me; apparently I refused to talk, no matter if I went anywhere or they visited, or so they told me. Alice hadn't given up so far, but I knew it was only a matter of time. I hadn't explained to them why Jasper and I broke up and I never intended on doing it. I wouldn't mind if Jasper told them because in the end it was about the paternity of his son; it was his decision to tell them or not.

Today, was another Sunday at my parent's place with my mom dotting on me and my father telling one story after another to keep the conversation flowing and avoid awkward pauses. I was actually surprised that Esme had held her promise and hadn't spoken about the circumstances of our breakup to anyone, not to Jasper or Maria, nor to myself. It wasn't the norm that my mom kept silent about things important to her; promise or not. I wouldn't have told half-lies to my parents though – it was already bad enough to hide the truth from my friends. Jasper had taken the easier route, leaving me to deal with the aftermath of our breakup; as well as our friend's and family's questions.

I hadn't realized how deep in thought I had been until I looked up and saw that I was sitting alone at the table with Carlisle. "Where's mom?" I asked, blinking.

"The phone rang," he said and simply continued telling his story, obviously not worried that I hadn't heard a single word he'd said in the past couple of minutes.

Excusing myself, I left Carlisle alone to his ramblings and visited the bathroom. Had I known beforehand what exactly I would overhear, I would've rather peed into my pants. As it was though, my heart nearly stopped beating when I heard Esme speak, "What is that boy thinking? He can't date Alyssa!"

I was frozen mid step as Esme's words registered with my brain. Jasper was dating Alyssa. No, he couldn't. _Of course he could_, I reasoned with myself; _he was single and could be with whomever he wished. But why did I feel so betrayed by him then_?

_Because you were dumb enough to question his fatherhood and he didn't even trust you enough to get Aden's paternity tested_, my mind supplied. The thought of Aden, only multiplied the hurt; it had been too easy to love the little guy, spitting goo on me and everything. Sometimes it was still hard to believe that everything was over, at least it had been until I heard Esme's words.

Hearing that Jasper and Alyssa were a couple now, was like a slap to my face or maybe like a knife twisting in my stomach. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I realized that the short gasps I heard, was my own breathing. The realization came too late because a moment later the world around me turned black.

Blinking my eyes open, Esme's worried face came into focus first, followed by a totally relaxed looking Carlisle. It didn't take me long until the events came swirling back into my mind. Overhearing Esme on the phone as her words made it unmistakably clear that Jasper was actually dating Alyssa, ugh. I pushed the thoughts out of my mind, I'd have enough time to sulk over them at a later time; right now Esme was fluttering around me like a mother hen.

"Mom;" I said and tried to stop her hands from checking every inch of me that she could reach; to no avail. "I'm fine."

"You fainted," she deadpanned before she rounded on my dad, "And stop just standing there. Why aren't you doing anything, Carlisle?"

"There's nothing I can do, he just fainted," dad responded calmly while I tried to sit up, only to be pushed back down by my mom. "He'd already be up again, if you'd just let him, Esme."

Esme opened her mouth to reply, but this time I was faster to talk, "I'm really fine, mom. I overheard you on the phone and I just forgot to breathe for a moment there, I guess."

"You forgot to breathe?" she echoed, looking at me uncertainly until it seemed to dawn on her what I might've overheard and her hands came back to fluttering over my face. "I'm so sorry, honey."

"Mom, please. You make me feel like a five year old," I told her as my patience began to wear down. "I'll be fine, I promise. Now let's finish lunch, I have work left to do for my classes tomorrow."

Still reluctant, Esme finally gave in and we were able to finish lunch. This time around the silence was heavy as even Carlisle's chatter had died down while Esme didn't let me out of her sight anymore. I had to assure her at least ten times more that I was alright before she let me drive home.

By the time I unlocked my front door, I was over the initial shock and the longer I thought about Jasper, the angrier I became. Not only had he never trusted me enough to give my doubts a second thought, no he blatantly ignored it and started a relationship with that woman. But what he could do, I could do as well. I had moped around long enough and now it was time that things changed.

Before I could change my mind again, I took a fast shower and slipped into my favorite jeans and jade green button up while my hair was left as it was, it rarely obeyed me anyway and off I was to a club. I had seen my fair share of clubs in company with my friends, yet today it would be different, I decided. I didn't call any of my friends to join me; this was something I had to do on my own and headed to one of the more known gay clubs.

I had managed to stay calm until I stood in front of the club. The bright blue _Moonlight_ neon sign above its doors glared at me as I tried to gather my courage. I hadn't been to a gay club before; this was completely new territory and once I managed to swallow down my nervousness, the beat of the music, that came flowing from the building, seemed inviting enough.

Taking one more deep breath, I stepped closer to the entrance and waited for a large bouncer to wink me through. Inside there wasn't much of a difference to any other club I've been in; the walls were lined with plush dark blue love seats of which many were still unoccupied this early in the night, but the main eye catcher definitely was the huge bar.

It, too, fit into the color scheme with various shades of blue; even its top was made of blue marble, accented by a dark silver metal. With the bar smack in the middle of the large hall-like room, I was instantly drawn to it, it seemed to be the best place to observe the other club-goers and that was all I wanted to do at the moment: observe others while I inwardly warred with my confidence.

It had been easy to make the decision of coming here when I'd still been in the safety of my home but now, in the middle of too many people, loud music and the flashing lights – my confidence in the this decision sunk steadily. Warily I sat down on a barstool and let my eyes wander over the merrily dancing crowd. In contrast to the usual clubs I had seen, same sex dance partners dominated here; a sight that easily mesmerized me and for a brief moment I wondered if Jasper and I had looked this good together.

The longer my eyes scanned the faces and bodies around me, the easier I could admit to seeing beautiful men all over the dance floor, an option I hadn't even entertained before my relationship with Jasper. I was startled from my observations by a pleasant sounding voice that asked me what I wanted to drink.

Twisting my body on the stool, I came face to face with one of the many barkeepers and with him much closer in my personal space than I would have thought by merely hearing his voice. This one, I guessed, was about as tall as me with spiked, black hair, stunning dark blue eyes and a friendly grin lighting up his features; on the second look I discovered black ink peeking out of the collar of his shirt and my curiosity was aflame.

"Whiskey, neat," I smiled at him, my voice just loud enough to carry over the beat of the music.

"First time?" he asked, his smile widening while he poured my drink and after needing a moment to figure out what the guy was talking about, I nodded my head affirmative.

"Here you go, handsome," he drawled and handed me a glass which I accepted gratefully. "On the house and I'm Daniel."

"At least one person I know now, only hundreds to go, "I joked lightly. "I'm Edward; it's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Daniel agreed and as he turned away to another customer he added, "Don't worry, you definitely won't be alone for very long."

Winking at me, he then turned completely to his customer and left me alone to smirk into my drink. I was quite sure, that for the first time another man, other than Jasper, had flirted with me and it felt really good. Sipping my whiskey, I relished the burning sensation as it dripped down my throat and before too long I could feel the muscles in my body loosening; for the first time in weeks I felt truly relaxed.

Most of the night passed faster than I thought possible, even though I never strayed very far from my spot at the bar; I was content to watch other people flirt and dance. A few guys had approached me, but none of them particularly drew my interest. They weren't bad looking or dislikable, but my barkeeper, as I called him in my head, had already secured any interest I might have.

All throughout the night, he kept bringing me drinks and kept the flirty banter between us alive. I had a little moment of doubt when I considered that it might just be Daniel's character to be this flirty and easy going and it probably made for good tips, yet these thoughts were fast scattered when he stood next to me on one of his breaks.

"All evening I watched you look at other people dance," he mused, startling me for the second time in only a couple of hours. "Don't you think it's time to dance yourself?"

There was no hesitation as I grabbed his outstretched hand and let him lead me to the dance floor. I was curious and it had been weeks since someone showed any remotely romantic interest in me. He pulled me flush against his body and from the second we started to move to the beat, I was lost. His hands felt heavy sliding over my body, exploring a new territory and our groins grinding against each other let the heat in my belly build steadily.

For the first time since my breakup I genuinely had fun and as soon as the thought of Jasper crept into my mind, I pushed it out again. Instead I focused on Daniel's piercing eyes and how they seemed to grow in intensity the longer we danced. The chemistry between us was undeniable and while I knew that I wasn't ready for something new, I yearned to explore these feelings more thoroughly. By the time his break was over, the heat between us had grown almost unbearable and as much fun as I had while dancing; I welcomed the break to cool down again.

"How are my chances for your acceptance of a cup a cup of coffee when my shift ends in two hours?" Daniel asked while he placed another whiskey in front of me.

Smirking, I teased, "Unless someone else comes in to sweep me off my feet, I'd say your chances are pretty high."

Thus we were sitting in a small diner at four AM in the morning and sipping our coffee. The conversation stayed light and even the pauses of silence didn't make me feel uncomfortable. Daniel was easy to talk to and I caught myself hoping that the night wouldn't be over so soon already and the more pleasantness was the surprise when we found out that he lived only two streets down from me.

It was a mild night with a light breeze and we decided to walk home, after all it would be a twenty minute walk at most and it would give us more time to talk as Daniel appeared equally reluctant to end the night just yet. The conversation strayed from work to music and I lost every sense of time while I talked about my passion.

Arriving at my house, we switched telephone numbers and I readily agreed to meet him again. And why wouldn't I? I was young and should be able to have fun and meet new people instead of moping around alone at home. There was a short pause, then he leaned in and I had a short moment of clarity as I realized that he was going to kiss me before his lips closed over mine; warm and soft and better than I could have imagined.

Sweeping his tongue over my lower lip, I gladly opened my mouth to him and met his tongue with mine; pushing softly against the heat of his lips. His hands weaved in my hair, tugging me closer to him as our kiss grew more passionate. His breath tasted like coffee and mint and for a few seconds I forgot the world around me as I enjoyed this new experience; it felt like everything stood still.

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**AN:**

**Is Edward finally waking up and realizing that he can do better than Jasper? What do you think?**

**Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favs on the last chapter (I know, I failed once more to answer, sorry guys!). **

**And to warn you, it could be that I won't be able to post on schedule for some time because I've got finals coming up in a little more than 2 months (which is half an year earlier than the rest of my class… as in I have a shitload of things to study on my own without teacher assistance). But I promise to do my best to keep the chapter coming as regularly as possible, please be patient with me if I don't manage :P**

**Let me know your thoughts like usual :) And a huge thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for letting me borrow her beta skills, thanks hun!**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

**Info to this chapter: Just to avoid any confusion the timeline of this chapter this chapter follows up after the last JPOV (Chapter 26).**

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**Previously**

_The officer didn't pay any attention to me, asking her now if it had resulted in intercourse. This time there was a longer pause before she quietly whispered, "Yes."_

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**JPOV**

As soon as Alyssa's words and their possible effects registered in my brain, I froze. The rest of the policemen's questions grew into a vague background noise as did Alyssa's answers. I was only thankful when the police finally left and I had the chance to inquire about all the things I heard; for once I wanted the truth – no more lies, there had been enough of them already.

"Are you going to explain?" I asked calmly after several minutes of pressing silence.

"What's there to explain?" Alyssa sighed and my level of anger rose steadily.

For a moment it took every ounce of willpower to regard her calmly, instead of giving in to the desire to yell. "I want to hear the truth, all of it. No more lies of omission and more hiding of past events. I have a god damn right to know, don't you think?"

Alyssa's eyes locked on me and after a little while she gave a tiny nod and relented in a quiet voice, "Everything I told you in the hospital, about the time before I moved here, was true. Juan almost killed the man I had been with, how he got rid of the charges and still walks free, I'll never know.

When I came to Barcelona, I wanted to start life anew. At first I had been paranoid, but gradually my fear lessened and I'd grown more outgoing. Meeting you was a whole new experience; you were the first man, beside my father, who I wasn't afraid of. Our friendship, as unexpected as it came to me, was easy and I could relax with you. And then I fell in love with you."

Closing her eyes, Alyssa leaned her head against the couch and drew a deep breath. Even from the distance between us, I could easily see her whole body shaking, yet I found myself rooted to my seat, not able to give her even the simplest words of comfort. When her eyes opened, she stoically fixed them on a point in front of her and continued talking, her voice mechanic and cold, "I still didn't know that Juan was in Barcelona when we slept with each other, else I would've never slept with you and put you in danger of Juan's wrath.

But as it was, I got the shock of my life when I opened the door two nights after our night together and Juan stood there. I was shell shocked and he easily forced his way into my apartment. He started rambling about reclaiming me and how he would hurt everyone close to me if I didn't comply."

By now, tears overflowed her eyes, falling onto her cheeks as she shook her head almost apathetically. No matter how angry I was at the moment, it was still hard not to gather her in my arms and shush her fears, but in the end the burning need, to know what had happened, won.

Instead I sat still and silently watched her shudder, taking shallow breath after breath until she continued talking, her voice impossibly colder. "I know that you don't approve on how I handle these situations, but trust me, it wouldn't have mattered. Juan would have taken what he wanted, no matter what. I was afraid of him then and I still am because I know what kind of psycho he is; the one who always follows up on his threats. Talking to the police today was possibly the worst thing I could've done."

"What else?" I asked; swallowing the question, which was on the fore front of my mind, back down. Alyssa should have the chance to explain things on her own before I pestered her with more explicit questions.

"Nothing else, I swear," she sobbed, her eyes big and glassy. "As if that wasn't enough already."

She couldn't possibly think that I wouldn't ask the most obvious question, could she? She couldn't truly think that I wouldn't mention the issue of Aden's paternity, especially after Edward planted the seeds of doubt in my mind and even confronted her about it himself? She just couldn't be that self-absorbed and ignorant.

Hastily I pushed the thought of Edward away, it still hurt too much to even think his name and right now I had to focus on the problem at hand; Aden and Alyssa. Focusing on Alyssa, it almost seemed like too much effort to ask even one question. The thought alone had hurt me already badly, what would I do if Aden wasn't my son?

"Nothing else, huh?" I repeated and was shocked at the artificial, high sound of my voice. "What about Aden?"

I didn't need to say more as all the color drained from Alyssa's face and she froze into place; she knew exactly what I was asking and her reaction only confirmed my fears further.

"I don't know," she whispered, her breaths coming in fast, little puffs as if she were about to panic. "It's been two fucking days apart, how the hell am I supposed to know?"

"I can't fucking believe you," I exclaimed as it became harder and harder to control the swelling anger. "Edward and I broke up because of this; because I swore up and down that Aden was my flesh and blood and now you tell me that you've been fucking lying to me for over a year? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Can't you see that I'm scared?" She whispered. "Scared because I am in love with you, scared because I became a mother at the age of twenty-two, scared because I have a violent psycho ex who forced me to have sex with him and might hurt me further and my loved ones on top of it? Scared because Juan might take Aden in a second if he knew that he might be his son."

"And it never occurred to you that I would have stilled helped you if you had talked to me?" I snapped. "Did you even think about what would happen if I ever found out the truth?"

"I wanted Aden to have a father, one that wasn't a sick bastard which I can't guarantee him anymore," Alyssa sniffed.

Angrily I stood and started pacing back and forth; the more the possibility invaded my mind, the harder it was to sit still. I had given up my whole life for Alyssa and Aden; my mother, my friends and the lover I had always dreamt off. I had done it gladly and now this is where it brought me.

The pacing at least helped with the aggression welling up in me, enough to allow me to speak in calm tones once more. "I want a test done and then I need to start fixing some things in my life that have gone terribly wrong and I advise you to do the same, Alyssa."

"What is there to fix? Everything is ruined now," she whispered, looking utterly broken.

And that at least, was one thing I was scared of as well; that nothing was left to fix. I had majorly screwed up in many aspects. The relationship with my friends as I had avoided them for weeks was one thing I fucked up; although they probably would be the most forgiving. Fixing things with my mum would be definitely harder, especially now that she already demanded an explanation by the end of the week.

Edward though, was without doubt the hardest to reconcile with. Not only had I lost a lover in him and also my best friend, but he was the one to warn me of Alyssa; he had assumed that Aden might not be mine while I had blatantly ignored him and basically threw him out. The mistake with Alyssa was the first one to be corrected though. The only thing I still felt for her was pity as she sat there and cried softly. She'd need help, maybe a therapist and good friends, but I couldn't be her lover any longer – our relationship was just another lie, from my side at least.

"Look, I think we might be able to rebuild our friendship and I don't even need to tell you that I love Aden," I explained cautiously. "But I can't be your lover any longer."

"No, no, no…," Alyssa whimpered, burying her face under her arms.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly and I truly was because I'd lied to her almost as much as she lied to me, even if I hadn't done it completely conscious. "I… my feelings for you aren't the ones for a lover. I tried really hard because I wanted Aden to have a real, complete family and convinced myself that it was the right thing to do, but it wasn't. I'm so sorry."

It was bad to see her so broken, knowing that I partly contributed to it, but the pain about the truth she had just told me, was still too fresh for me to comfort her. She just nodded and shuffled off towards the bedroom with a bowed head. After only a couple of steps, she froze.

"It's fine, I'll sleep on the couch," I told her, guessing her problem. This time she gave no sign of understanding, simply walked on and closed the bedroom door softly behind her.

Sighing I bent down and retrieved Aden from his portable crib where he had fallen asleep while the police was here. Entering the nursery, I carefully settled him in his crib and watched over him. Seeing it realistically, Aden didn't look like me in the slightest, but that didn't mean that he wasn't my son; he was basically a small, male duplicate of Alyssa – except for his eyes. Aden had blue eyes and so did I. _And so does Juan_, my mind supplied.

Shaking the thought off, I told myself over and over again not to panic until I had clarification. Sadly that was easier said than done as I spent most of the night lying awake and worrying what the morning might bring. As soon as the sun rose, I stopped torturing myself by rolling around on the couch, not able to sleep anyway and got up to take a shower.

The hot water felt really good on my tense muscles, but in a manner of minutes the tension was back. I waited for Aden to wake up before I fed and bathed him. By the time we were ready to leave, Alyssa still hadn't shown her face and in afterthought of her panic of Juan, I wrote a quick note, saying that we went to the doctor and left it on the kitchen table. I only hoped she would find it before she panicked about Aden being kidnapped by Juan if she woke up and her son wasn't in the apartment.

The drive to the doctor's office was short, as was the time in the waiting room. I delicately explained the situation to the doctor who assured me that with a little salvia from me and Aden, I'd have clarity in one or maximal two weeks. All in all the doctor visit had taken forty minutes and then the waiting for the test results began; for now, I could only guess how many sleepless nights I would spend in the next week and with that thought I was on my way home.

The days after the doctor visit were even worse than I had anticipated. My dreams though nightmares might be the better word, were filled with Juan mocking me about not being Aden's father and how he would make a much better father anyway. After being haunted by Alyssa's psycho ex in my sleep for two nights, I decided that no sleep at all might be the better choice; that lasted only two days though. According to my boss, I was walking around like a zombie by Friday and didn't really take notice of anything around me.

It took only a handful of questions before I told him all about the source of my distraction in as little details as possible. Luckily, my boss was one of the most compassionate and understanding people I ever met, only Carlisle would've surpassed him, and I was told that I had more than enough over hours to take off until I had the test result. On one hand it was the best solution, but on the other hand, it gave me even more free-time, in which it would be easier for troubling thoughts to invade my mind.

On the way home I remembered that I still owed my mother an explanation and it was high time to give it to her before she boarded the next plane to Spain and came barreling into this whole mess I called life right now. With a little contemplation, I decided for one more lie, this time though it was for both our nerves. I wanted to have the test results when I told her about the question of Aden's paternity and I would tell her no matter if the result was positive or negative.

For the moment I only told her about the tensions between Edward and Alyssa and how it had put a strain on our relationship. She wouldn't be my mother though if she hadn't wanted details and it was a hard piece of work to shake her off with the argument that the details were ultimately something between Edward and I. In the end I thought that she only gave in because I've told her that my relationship with Alyssa was over as well; it wasn't like my mother had ever liked her anyway.

Alyssa kept out of my way as she mostly barricaded herself in the bedroom and left Aden to my care whenever I was home. I didn't understand why she acted the way she did, but I was thankful for the extra time with Aden. Sometimes it was weird to spend time with him, knowing that I could be told in a couple of days that he wasn't my son and all the more I cherished my alone time with him.

B y the time the letter arrived on Wednesday morning, I was a nervous wreck. Alyssa was in the bedroom as usual and Aden was taking a nap when I retrieved the letter from the mailbox. My hands shook badly enough that I needed three tries to unlock the door and let myself back into my apartment where I placed the letter on the kitchen table and sat down in front of it.

With my heart beating like I'd run a marathon, I contemplated calling for Alyssa, she would want to know as well, but swiftly decided against it. I would have enough trouble dealing with my own emotions; no need to add Alyssa's. The envelope looked harmlessly enough, a plain white standard envelope and yet I couldn't bring myself to open it.

It would decide my whole future for me; whether that would be in Spain or America I had yet to figure out and only the words inside that damn envelope could help me to make that decision. Would I be going home to friends and family in America or would I build my own family right here in Spain?

The only thing I knew without a doubt though that I would always love Aden no matter what the piece of paper would tell me about his paternity. He would always be a part of my heart and that was the most important, I told myself.

Without further thought, I grabbed my car keys, made my way to the car and drove. There wasn't a special destination I had in mind, all I knew was that I needed just a little more time before I could open the letter which lay safely on the passenger seat. I didn't know anymore if I was ready for the truth, but when I stopped the car again, two hours later, it didn't matter anymore if I was ready or not; I had to know now and the rest could be figured out later on.

Sitting in my car, I grasped the envelope in both hands opened it quickly before the courage left me again. My eyes flew over the paper as my mind vaguely perceived that the test had a certitude of 99.9 % and then my eyes finally found the words which would decide not only mine, but also Aden's future.

There, in front of my eyes, was Aden's paternity; in black and white.

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**AN:**

**Is Aden Jasper's son? Even though I know how most of you think, it's your last chance to guess or change your mind ;)!**

**Thanks for the reviews, PMs and adds on the last chapter :) This week I've got an even better excuse why I didn't reply; life decided to be funny and reward me with another klutz moment, the last was after all in January when I put an almost 2 inch long gash into the inside of my left hand. Well now, I've broken my left hand altogether. Thanks life, you are awesome! *End rant* Sorry about that ;)!**

**Ohh another important thing, exactly one year ago, I woke up and nervously checked out my first reviews on this story! Yes it's been a year already, damn. I know that other writers do 90 k words in something like a month but nonetheless I'm a little proud that I've gotten this far with 2 jobs, school, study group and other little projects on the side. Thanks again to all of you!**

**And also thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for letting me borrow her amazing beta skills!**

**Enough from me; see ya in two weeks!**

**Sanny**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

**Info to this chapter: The timelines come back together now, as in this chapter takes places after the last one (after Jasper received the paternity test!).**

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**EPOV**

I hadn't noticed how much I missed simple touches like hugs and kisses until I started hanging out with Daniel. He was always holding my hand or kissing me casually even after we decided to take it very slow and start out as friends for the moment. He knew all about my past relationship with Jasper, it had been surprisingly easy to talk to someone neutral and Daniel seemingly understood that I wasn't ready for something serious; he went as far and assured me that he liked me, but he liked playing around as well.

Gradually my moods eased up and with every evening out, dancing with Daniel, my dark thoughts retreated. Tonight we had decided on movies though and cuddled together on my couch as we shared a pizza and laughed about Adam Sandler and Kevin James in their newest movie.

It was strange how comfortable I felt with Daniel after only knowing him for a few weeks, but I felt uncomfortable around my year long friends and family. Although I guessed the fact that my friends appeared to walk on eggshells whenever they talked to me, only added to my discomfort. Their wariness on certain topics constantly reminded me about my breakup with Jasper and the pity in my friends' eyes was unmistakable.

And that was nothing compared to my family, Carlisle stayed in the background as usual, but Esme wouldn't stop mothering me every chance she got and my fainting had made matters indefinitely worse. Daniel however was completely different, he liked talking, but was a good listener as well, but mostly what impressed me, was his wide knowledge about music and the fact that he wanted to open his own tattoo studio.

The ink on his skin still intrigued me as much as it had on the first evening we met. The only parts of it I had ever seen, were the black lines creeping out of his collar and another array of colorful ink as he stretched and his shirt lifted; sadly, the moment had been too short to even make out specific shapes and as curious as I was, I was too shy to ask him outright about seeing his tattoos.

One day, I promised myself and turned my attention back to the TV. Granted, it didn't take long before my attention strayed once more. The planes of Daniel's muscled upper body were flush to my back as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me to him, and it had been a really long time since my last release.

I was hyper aware of every vibration going through his body, caused by his laugh, and wondered how long I could take this before I had a problem on my hands. Luck seemed to be on my side though as the movie ended a couple of minutes later and Daniel sat us both up.

I hadn't expected Daniel to lean in and peck me on the lips though. While I usually prided myself with my self-control, all caution was forgotten when Daniel's lips touched mine; warm and soft. It was the last bit needed for my resolution to snap and before I fully registered what I did, I was straddling Daniel; our lips locked in a heated kiss. My fingers pawed at his shirt, eager to feel the smooth skin underneath while my tongue thrust into his mouth, meeting Daniel's.

Breaking away, I stripped the shirt over his head and sucked in a deep breath. Most of the left side of Daniel's torso was covered in bright, hundreds of colors flowing into each other; some divided by black lines. It was almost impossible to capture it all at once, as the tattoo consisted of many smaller details. Most prominent was a Celtic motive that I wasn't familiar with which was engulfed by many swung lines. There were whole flowers in every color mentionable as well as single petals, and after starring at the tattoo for some time, I made out two sayings. _Nosce te ipsum*_ was written in black, delicate lines right on top of his heart and just a little underneath were, in the same script, the words _ego sum, qui su**_.

I was too fascinated by the sight in front of me that I only vaguely recognized the rasping breaths as my own. I was hyper aware of the growing tightness of my pants however. Daniel apparently decided that I had starred long enough and pulled me once more closer to him, his mouth moving to suck on my neck while my hands buried in his thick black hair.

Groaning he pulled away and shifted his body until he lay flat on his back with my body nestled between his spread legs. Grasping the hem of my shirt with both of his hands, a pleasant shiver coursed through my body caused by only the slightest contact of Daniel's fingertips on my skin. Tugging the shirt over my head, one of his hands wrapped around my neck and pulled me down until my body was flush against his.

It felt undeniably good to feel the body of someone else warming my skin, but as soon as the thought appeared in my mind, it was gone again when Daniel demanded my attention by tracing my lower lip with his tongue. Opening my mouth for him, I grinded my hips down until Daniel's erection pressed firmly against my own, electing a deep moan from him.

Delighted by his reaction, I repeated the movement with my hips while I dragged my lips over his neck, sucking and biting my way to the hollow at his throat. I licked along his collarbone to his shoulder where I bit down gently and this time, a small whimper escaped his throat. He was almost like a new instrument and I was eager to learn what buttons I had to push before I was rewarded with the right sounds.

Tickling along his ribcage with the fingers of my right hand, I descended further down until my fingers met the waistband of his jeans. Slipping a finger underneath the fabric, I pulled slightly away to unbutton the jeans when the door bell rang. It was enough to break the spell. Leaning my head against Daniel's shoulder I desperately tried to catch my breath and with a "S_orry_" whispered against his skin, I fetched my shirt and made my way to the door.

Pulling the shirt on, I tried to smooth down my hair as much as possible and opened the door. I could literally feel my mouth drop open at the sight in front of me. There standing, in ragged jeans in which he would've never been caught outside under normal circumstances, his blonde locks in disarray and his reddened, swollen eyes with big dark circles accentuating them, stood Jasper. My heart gave a painful squeeze as my mind tried to come up with something to say, anything, but my mouth only opened and closed again; without a single word.

Jasper wasn't acting any differently; he simply starred at me, his eyes flicking over my whole body before they came to rest on my face once more. Suddenly it occurred to me that I might very well be dreaming; the frenzied make out session with Daniel never happened and Jasper didn't actually stand in front of my house; I simply must've fallen asleep watching the movie.

This dream swiftly developed into a nightmare when Daniel's voice called out my name and he appeared right behind me only seconds later, his hand reaching out to my shoulder. Startled by the situation I swung back to face Jasper whose eyes widened in shock as he took in the sight of the strange, shirtless man standing behind me. Several emotions flickered over Jasper's face and if I hadn't known him so well, I wouldn't have been able to identify them as hurt, sadness and maybe a hint of betrayal.

Then everything went incredibly fast as Jasper thrust a piece of paper into my hand, turned around and almost ran down my driveway. Still gob smacked by the situation, my eyes were still fixed on the path Jasper had just taken. Closing the door, Daniel gently wrapped a hand around my arm and steered me towards the living room where he sat us down on the couch.

He gave me a couple of minutes to sort my swirling thoughts before he inquired, "Would you tell me what the fuck just happened?"

"That was Jasper," I whispered, thinking the rest of the reaction self explaining. Now however, I remembered the piece of paper that I still clutched. Looking down, I opened the folded paper and swiftly read through the contents. Only when I read the sentence "_Hereby Jasper Whitlock isn't Aden Whitlock Sanchez father by a certainty of 99.9 %."_ did I realize what I held in my hands.

I read through the sentence once more, just to make sure that I didn't imagine important words in my shocked state and handed the letter wordlessly to Daniel; he already knew most of the story about the breakup with Jasper and deserved to know this last tidbit of information as well. Reading through it, he handed the paper back to me once he was done, his gaze locking with mine.

"I don't know what to say," he said quietly. "You suspected it all along."

And if it had only been this easy. Yes, I had been right, but that didn't change the heartache I felt for Jasper at the moment. I wished I hadn't been right, Jasper loved this little boy more than the rest of the world and I didn't want to be right anymore, but there was nothing I could do. I couldn't even offer Jasper comfort, seeing how he walked away again without even saying a word.

Letting my head fall into my hands I tried to sort out this huge mess in my head. I felt Daniel's big, warm hand rubbing my back and as much as I welcomed the comfort it gave me, it only confused me further. Here I was stuck between a confrontation of my ex-lover and the comfort of a possible future lover and all I could think about was that little boy whom I had come to love dearly as well; now I would most likely never see him again and my heart broke all over with the realization.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Daniel asked. He waited until I shook my head negative before he continued speaking, "I understand if you need some time for yourself now."

Lifting my head, I looked at him and for the first time since I knew Daniel, I saw a hint of insecurity in his features.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I need to make sense of this by myself first. Can I call you tomorrow?"

"You can call me whenever you need me," he assured me, the hint of a smile playing along his lips.

Rising to his feet, he gathered his things and straightened out his clothes. Grabbing his arm, I pulled him towards me and pecked him on the lips before I let him go.

"Thank you," I said, trying for a smile which I was sure turned out to be more of a grimace.

"Nothing to thank me for. I'll talk to you tomorrow," he promised and quietly left the house.

Sitting in the silence, I contemplated what I should do now. I didn't know where Jasper went and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to see him. There stood so many things between us that I didn't have a single clue how to work out the many problems standing between us. If not my lover, I missed my best friend and yearned to have him back in my life, but I wasn't sure if I could forgive him this easily.

I hadn't been alone for ten minutes before my phone rang. Checking the display, I answered quickly, "Hey, did you forget something?"

"No," Daniel answered to my confusion. "But could you come out for a minute maybe?"

"Sure," I said frowning. "Let me fetch a pullover and I'll be outside."

"Thanks," he sighed and hung up.

Doing as promised, I threw on a pullover and stepped out of the door where Jasper was sitting on my front steps. It took me a moment to realize that Daniel hadn't wanted me to meet him outside, but rather initiated another meeting for me and Jasper; seeing how Jasper still hadn't found his guts to ring the bell again and talk to me this time. Sitting down on the steps next to Jasper, he startled by my presence.

"Edward," he whispered, tears forming in his eyes.

His voice hit me like a bullet to the chest, his normally smooth baritone, sounded ragged and tired as if he hadn't slept in days. Lifting my eyes to his, I inclined my head; hoping that he'd understand the gesture as what it meant, my willingness to listen at least.

"He's not mine," he continued whispering, the tears finally spilling over; running over his cheeks.

Wrapping my arms tightly around him, I let him weep. Lover or not, best friend or not; everything was forgotten for the moment because nobody deserved what he went through right now. My anger at Alyssa spiked, but I pushed it away, focusing on rubbing soothing circles on Jasper's back as he sobbed the words _"How could he not be mine?" _over and over again.

He was completely and utterly destroyed by the truth and broken or not, he still looked as gorgeous as ever.

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* "Nosce te ipsum." - "Know thyself." by Cicero, de finibus 5, 16, 44

** "Ego sum, qui sum." – "I am who I am."

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**AN:**

**Did I restore some of your faith in me? :) Now who will it be, Daniel or Jasper?**

**Thanks again for all the reviews, PMs and alerts on the last chapter – I loved all of them (and even replied this time!); took me only a shit load of time to type them with one hand, the chapter has taken indefinitely longer, even though it has less words than usual. **

**Go ahead and let me know your thoughts about this chapter as well, good and bad!**

**As usual a big thanks to my lovely beta, Jasper's Darlin' Kathy. Thanks for always being there for me and letting me bounce my ideas off you!**

**Now take care,**

**Sanny**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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JPOV**

Nothing had gone as planned; absolutely nothing.

After receiving the letter that Aden wasn't my son, I had directly grabbed my keys and boarded the next flight to Seattle without packing a single thing. For Alyssa I had left a copy of the paternity test with a handwritten note that I would be back in a couple of days to retrieve the rest of my things.

Arriving in Seattle almost sixteen hours later, my only thought was Edward. I had been well aware of how bad I must've looked as I stood in front his, door but I couldn't bring myself to care. I needed to tell Edward that he had been right all along and he deserved a big apology. Afterwards there would be time to reconcile with my friends and family.

But then Edward opened the door and my heart might've stopped for a second before it jumped almost out of my chest and just like that all the words, which I had wanted to tell him, vanished from my mind. My vocal chords seemed unable to produce even the slightest sound and only when this strange man appeared behind Edward, did I snap out of my haze. Thrusting the letter with the paternity test results into his hands I turned around and more ran than walked out of his driveway.

Knowing exactly when I would be out of sight, I stopped and let myself sink to the ground. I only vaguely noticed the pebbles digging into my knees as I struggled to get my breathing under control. As it was, I didn't do well and was seconds away from a blown out panic attack. Closing my eyes, I focused on breathing in and out, in and out, in and out, in and out…

When I was sure that my breathing had normalized several minutes later, I opened my eyes again and wondered what the fuck I should do now. I must look like an idiot to Edward for running away like that, especially since I was the one who brought this situation on us in the first place. I slowly walked back up the driveway until I reached the steps in front of Edward's house. Sitting down, I put my head in my hands and thought about what to do now.

The other man was most likely still here since I hadn't seen or heard anyone leave and he would've needed to walk past me when I battled against the panic attack and I couldn't stomach to see Edward with another guy; as it looked right now, Edward was getting over me – if he wasn't already. Why else would he have a half naked man in his house?

I startled when the door opened behind me and said man stepped out, closing the door behind him. He calmly looked at me and after a couple of seconds of eye contact he simply walked away without saying a word. I wondered if this was the lesser of two evils and how I could manage to ever beat this man in a battle of Edward's affection. The answer was simple and came to me rather fast; I couldn't. The guy was good looking and as much as it pained me to think, he appeared pleasant right away, why wouldn't Edward like him better than me?

He probably wasn't as broken as me neither and didn't have an ex who told him they have a child together just to be safe from her psycho ex. He wasn't broken because he just learned that his son wasn't actually his son. He probably hadn't ruined his whole life for a lie either and apparently hadn't cut Edward out of his life after over twenty years of friendship and the best months of his life with Edward as his lover. No, the stranger seemed to be better than that and Edward deserved the best, but why couldn't I be the best for him? Why did my life break in around me and why wasn't Aden mine?

Too wrapped up in my thoughts, I startled when someone sat down beside me and even without looking I knew it was Edward as my whole body seemed to vibrate in reaction to his closeness. Lifting my head after long stretched seconds of silence, I whispered, "Edward."

I was waiting for any reaction which would indicate that he wanted me to continue and only when Edward inclined his head slightly, I spoke, "He's not mine."

My voice broke on the second word and I could already feel the tears spilling over when Edward embraced me, his arms locking me into the warmth of his body as I sobbed, "How could he not be mine?"

Edward stayed silent and just held me while my tears fell faster. In that moment my best friend was back and a little hope flared in me. I knew that not everything of the past months was forgotten nor forgiven, but the way he rocked me and shushed me softly, gave me at least some hope.

I didn't know how long it took me to run out of tears, but when they finally subsided, Edward pulled away and locked our gazes. His eyes were red as if he'd cried as well and the expression on his face was indefinable which I hadn't thought possible after our friendship. There was another minute of silence before I was shocked by the impact of his voice, full of emotion as he finally spoke for the first time, "Would you wait a moment, please? I'll be right back."

That was the last thing I had expected when Edward opened his mouth to speak and in my daze I simply nodded and watched him disappear behind the door. Just as I started to wonder if he would came back, the door opened and Edward stepped out once more. He handed me a water bottle and draped a blanket over my shoulders. At my asking glance he shrugged, "You are shivering. And I'd like to stay out a little while longer."

"Thank you," I whispered, my voice still rough from all the crying I had done. Watching him sit back down, I gathered my courage to finally do what I should have done all along. "I'm so fucking sorry. I was too blind to see what was really going on and I took it out on you. I don't even know how to ever make this up to you."

Looking me directly in the eye, I could see him considering his words carefully before he replied, "I'd like to know why…."

And that was most likely the hardest question right at the beginning since I wasn't sure if he could understand my crosswise logic from then or if I even could explain it properly; and still I tried. "Look, somehow I thought it impossible that the mother of my child would lie to me. When you hinted that Aden wasn't my son, I literally exploded. It was like a slap to the face and I didn't want to believe it was true. I didn't want to have my little wonder taken away from me. And in the end, I drove everyone away, my best friend, my lover, my friends and my family and I still ended up without a son."

And the tears were back; damn it, I was so sick of them. I didn't want Edward to talk to me because he took pity on me; I wanted him to talk to me because he decided he'd want to. And his eyes spoke volumes about pity and compassion. "I'm so sorry," I whispered. "You don't even have to listen to this if you don't want to. I can just go."

I didn't get farther than standing though before Edward tugged me back to sit beside him. With his hand still clamped around my arm, he spoke, "Let that be my decision, alright? I asked and I'm glad I did because I never realized how much my words might've hurt you. I'm sorry for that as well. Though and I think you know that as well, we are still far from where we've been. You've been my best friend since I can think and I don't want to throw that away, but I can't just forgot about it all either. I hope you understand."

"Of course I do," I murmured. "I didn't actually expect such a calm talk, but then again, there's much I didn't expect in the last 48 hours."

"If by any chance, you are talking about Daniel," Edward said defensively, while I assumed Daniel was the strange half naked man from earlier. "When you told your mum that you started a relationship with Alyssa, she called Esme and I overheard bits of their talk. Let's just say that I didn't react well. I went out and met Daniel in a gay bar, we've been friends ever since. I really like him and don't want to see him hurt by the mess you and I created."

Once he saw me shocked expression, he grinned slightly and added," Yes, I've been to a gay bar and really enjoyed it, too."

"I can't believe how much you've changed from two years ago," I said, secretly admiring this slightly different version of him; he had truly grown up now.

Seemingly lost in his thoughts, it took Edward a moment before he spoke again, "What now?"

"I think, I need to catch some sleep now before I collapse from sleep deprivation," I said as I knew that the stress of talking to Edward fell away, realized how tired I was. "I'd like to continue this talk in the morning though and I need to visit my mom, she made it clear that she would come to Spain if I didn't explain things to her by this weekend. And then there are our friends whom I avoided for weeks now. I'm not sure how to fix this all but I have to try."

Giving a small nod, Edward answered, "How about you come in? Eat something, take a shower and you can sleep on the couch. We can talk more over breakfast in the morning and see what else we can sort out."

Nodding as well, I agreed gratefully and let Edward lead me inside. I watched him as he made us a couple of sandwiches and once again wondered how I could've thrown away all that we had; the only conclusion I reached was that I might've been temporarily insane, there simply wasn't any other explanation to my stupidity. I was surprised by the lack of awkwardness as we sat in the kitchen, eating our sandwiches in silence.

Once done, Edward moved to his bedroom to retrieve a couple of sleeping clothes for me while I loaded the dish washer with our empty plates; it was almost like I've never been gone, at least in my mind and I'm sure Edward's take on this was an entirely different one. When he came back, his arms were full of blankets, pillows and sleeping clothes for me. He placed the things in the living room and handed me the clothes.

"Here, you know where everything is," he said. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Thank you," I told him, and hoped my voice displayed my heartfelt gratefulness; not only for the clothes and sleeping place, but also for giving me this chance in the first place. "Good night."

And with a whispered "You, too," he was gone and I turned towards the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I shed my clothes quickly and stepped into the shower. The hot water did wonders on my tense muscles and it almost felt like my grief washed away, even though I was well aware that it would be back sooner or later. For now though, Edward hadn't sent me to hell the first chance he had gotten and I might just get my best friend back.

With my thought on Edward who was most likely reclining in his bed only two rooms away, my cock stirred almost instantly. How I could be aroused after the last two days was beyond me, but instantly the images, of me fucking Edward against the very bedroom wall he stayed in at the moment, conjured up in my mind.

The images were clear in my mind; his delicious backside as he spread his legs widely for me and I pumped my hand faster over my erection, eager to find relief after abstaining for weeks. It didn't take long until my breath came in fast gasps while I thrust relentlessly into my fist; all the while imagining Edward's heat engulfing me. All too soon I came violently, my cum staining the white tiles before the water washed it away, my mouth opened wide in a soundless cry.

I gave myself several minutes to catch my breath as the water flowed over my shoulders, relaxing me further. Then I hurried to finish washing, dried and dressed. Too tired to make a big fuss, I grabbed one of the many pillows and a blanket and lay down on the couch. My head was still filled with various thoughts of Edward and now that the haze of my lust cleared away; I focused on the warmth that filled me in his presence and with a clarity I never had before, I knew that I would do anything in my power to have him back as my best friend, my lover, my confidant and everything else he would give me; even if it would take me the rest of my life to make my previous mistakes up to him.

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**AN:**

**What do you think, is Edward too easy on Jasper?**

**There's a lot of Jasper's thoughts, I hope they don't appear too rambled but it's just my way of expressing things; sorry if it's confusing for anyone! And it's been so long since there was some sexy time (except the little make out session between Edward and Daniel) I just had to sneak the wanking session in ;)!**

**This took me forever to write, not just because of my cast (which I'll probably get off this week, yay!)but also because I barely find any time. Thus I haven't answered any reviews but be assured that I read and squealed over every single one. **

**On this note, thanks for all your lovely comments, PMs, and alerts – you guys are the best! And a huge thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for being the best beta I could ask for when I continuously send her the chapter last minute before my "posting deadline". **

**Next up will be Edward again and we'll get a little more of Daniel (whom I personally really, really like)!**

**Alright I've talked enough now, see you all in two weeks!**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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EPOV**

I've never in my life been happier to see the glowing numbers of my alarm announce that it was 07:00 AM. The night had been terribly long after the eventful evening and I was glad when 7 AM rolled around. It wouldn't make me appear too desperate and I could finally escape my thoughts.

My whole night consisted of rolling around restlessly in bed while I thought of my situation with Jasper who was currently sleeping on the couch in my living room. From time to time Daniel snuck into my thoughts and there I had to wonder as well. Why had he asked me outside and consciously gave Jasper another chance to talk to me?

Throwing on some clothes without actually looking what they were, I quietly padded into the living room where Jasper indeed still slept peacefully. The lines of worry, which were edged into his face yesterday, had smoothed out as he slept; his face now was more relaxed than I had seen it since he stumbled back into my life. I decided to let him catch up on some more rest while I moved to the kitchen and started to fix pancakes, bacon and most importantly coffee.

Even though the closest I had gotten to sleep were a handful of moments where I was about to fall asleep before another thought popped up in my mind and kept me awake once more, I was surprisingly awake; actually not just awake, but downright restless. I was completely overcharged by the whole situation. I was glad that Jasper was here and we'd have the chance to sort out the mess between us, but while I wanted him back as my best friend, I knew that really forgiving him would be much harder.

I had been incredibly hurt by his actions that it was hard to find words for it and I also understood now that I was at fault as well; I had never paused to think how much my accusation, no matter how true in the end, would hurt him. And while I wanted him back as friend, I wasn't sure how I felt about having him back as my lover; I wasn't sure if that was a possible option. To complicate matters further, I felt drawn to Daniel and I definitely wanted to explore my feelings for him before I came to any conclusion. He, at least, deserved as much for being such a great friend to me in the past weeks.

In the end it would all come down to sort out my feelings which were such a mess at the moment that I didn't know where to start. And before I had the chance to start sorting out what I felt, there came a rustling from the living room, followed by Jasper shuffling into the kitchen. My pajama pants hung low on his hips, his hair was standing in all directions and his eyes barely opened, but still my breath caught.

"Do I smell food and coffee?" he mumbled sleepily, his voice rough from sleep.

The scene in front of me felt so utterly familiar that my heart ached. It took me a couple of silent seconds before I found my voice and could actually respond, "You know your way around, take whatever you like. The pancakes are done in ten."

Nodding, he grabbed two cups from the drawer beside him and filled them with coffee, adding a little milk to mine while he took his black. His movements were done without a further thought as if it was still a daily occurrence that he filled us cups of coffee while he waited for me to be done with cooking breakfast. Swallowing hard, I adverted my eyes and focused on the pancakes; I felt not in the slightest prepared to have him here in my kitchen and continue our talk from yesterday.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked just to fill the almost tangible silence in the room.

"I hadn't slept in almost 48 hours, so I probably could've slept standing, but yes," he answered with a tight smile stretched over his face.

This was stupid. This wasn't Jasper and me, this were two strangers who tiptoed around each other because they were too afraid to speak their minds. Taking a deep breath, I gathered my courage and spoke what was on my mind, "Look, I'm sorry, too. I've never realized how much my words might have hurt you until you told me about it yesterday. What I mean to say is that I'm at fault here, too but in the end it doesn't change the situation we are in."

"Still one to come straight to the point, huh?" He asked rhetorically as a hint of his real smile appeared on his lips. "But I agree with you, even though I don't know where to start fixing this mess."

"Why don't you start with telling me what you plan to do now," I suggested while I stacked the last batch of pancakes on a plate and moved towards the table. Taking a seat across from Jasper, I handed him one plate and placed the other in front of me, all the while my eyes fixed on his.

"Sure," he murmured. "I can do that."

Taking one more sip of his coffee, he started talking, "I haven't really thought about what to do per se, when I've gotten the letter all I knew was that I needed to fix my life and the mistake I made. Without packing I drove to the airport. You were my first destination and after breakfast I wanted to visit my mother. She must already be packing to come to Spain and smack me in the head until it sits straight back on my shoulders. Then there are our friends, although I'm not sure if they still consider me there friend."

Pausing, he took a bite of his pancakes, his eyes fixed on his plate as he chewed thoughtfully. I stayed silent giving him the time to sort his thoughts; I could still pester him with questions later. Obviously finding the words he searched for, he looked at me once more and continued speaking, "I realize that we can't fix things with two talks, but I'm hoping that we make a good start. I plan to stay for at least a week before I go back to Spain to pack my things and wrap up all businesses I left open such as work."

I nodded in understanding, he would come back home to start over in the States once more. And then all of a sudden I fully realized how hard this must be for Jasper. I had already felt utterly destroyed when I had said goodbye to Aden and to me he had been only the son of my lover while Jasper had thought him his son.

"I can come with you," I offered quietly.

When I was met by silence, I opened my mouth to clarify but Jasper interrupted, "Thank you. You can't possibly know what that means to me; I will think about it."

Tears were pooling in his eyes and I had to remind myself sharply that it would bring us nowhere if I forgave him out of pity. Yes, I wouldn't want to trade with him, but that didn't mean that we had to work through our problems instead of just forgetting about them and stumbling over them at a later point.

"You are welcome, Jasper," I assured and added in afterthought, "Why were you with her?"

Jasper's face scrunched up as if the reminder of Alyssa alone disgusted him. He took a while before he started to explain in quiet, measured words, "I thought that if I couldn't have you, I should at least give our son the chance to grow up in a whole family. I wanted him to experience a love two people can share, but I understood too late how wrong that was."

Again I waited for him to sort his thoughts until he continued speaking, "I've never loved her and I wouldn't have either. Now I recognized that I would've thought Aden had nothing more than wrong placed feelings of obligation."

Letting his words sink in, I felt at least a little better, though I felt like slapping him upside the head for being stupid enough to feel obligated to be with her, but at least he hadn't been in love with her. And still there was a little voice in my head that wouldn't stop nagging and before I knew what I was doing, the words were out of my mouth, "Did you sleep with her?"

Jasper's head snapped up, his eyes widening; it was almost comical if the situation weren't so serious. I was afraid of the answer and what it might to do my emotional state, yet I needed to know.

"I…," he stuttered, still trying to regain his composure. "No, I didn't. Her body was all wrong... female and so painfully not you."

"Don't be so surprised," I said, actually surprising myself by the harshness in my voice. "It's not like you haven't slept with her at some point in the past."

Jasper looked flabbergasted by my outburst and only after a couple of painfully silent seconds he got his facial expressions under control and started talking, "I'm not going to apologize for something I did when we weren't even a couple."

His answer snapped me out of my haze of jealousy and I knew now, firsthand, that I wasn't ready to forgive no matter if I wanted to or not; there were still too many repressed wounds, but I could accept when I had been in the wrong. "I'm sorry, Jasper. That outburst was uncalled for, but I think it shows us both that we aren't yet where we need to be."

"Yes," he agreed. "We should maybe take a break."

"Good idea," I nodded. "I've got only one morning and one afternoon class today, we can meet back here tonight around 7; that okay?"

"Works for me."

"Alright then, feel free to take anything you need from my closet, you know where everything is," I told him and stood to start cleaning the kitchen.

"Thank you," he said once more and I simply nodded, not finding it in me to say anything else right now. It wasn't even 9 AM in the morning and I already felt utterly emotionally drained.

My body relaxed the moment I heard Jasper moving out of the kitchen and I took several deep breaths to chase the tears, pooling in my eyes, away. Busying myself with cleaning I listened to Jasper rummaging through the house until he reappeared in the kitchen completely dressed in my clothes; and damn it, the effect it had on me was instantly judging by the stirring in my lower body parts. These stupid mood swings made me feel like an over emotional teenage girl and I really hoped that my emotional rollercoaster wasn't as obvious to Jasper.

"I'm off to see my mom then," he said, a tense smile on his lips that couldn't fool me; he was scared shitless of Maria's reaction and rightly so. "I'll see you tonight."

"Later," I mumbled back, immensely grateful when he turned and I heard the door close behind him.

Reaching for my cell phone I texted Daniel and asked him to meet me over lunch if possible at his place and then I was off to grab a quick shower and get dressed for my class. By the time I was ready to leave the house, Daniel had agreed and I swiftly texted him that I would bring the food. So far, so good; now I only needed to know what to tell him or better yet how the hell I could explain the mess my life presented currently.

All throughout my class my thoughts were on Daniel and my feelings about him; I hadn't heard a single word the docent had said. He had been there when I needed someone the most and never questioned my decisions. He had been listening to my depressing whining freely and offered great advices. He had always easily taken my mind off things and taught me to have some fun again. He became an important person to me and I wanted to have him as a part in my life; I just didn't know yet which part exactly.

When lunch time finally rolled around, I picked up some Chinese food and made my way to Daniel who greeted me with his usual broad grin at the door; it was almost impossible to not grin back. In that moment another weight lifted from my shoulders as I grasped that he would be here for me no matter in which role.

"Hey," I greeted him with a kiss on his cheek. "You've got some explaining to do and I thought there's no better way to do that than over your favorite Chinese food."

Holding out the bag to him, I watched in amusement as he sifted through the bag's contents until he found the egg rolls; his favorite. Smiling hugely, he led the way to his living room where he sat down on the floor in front of the small coffee table. I sat down next to him, still smiling as well. Daniel's whole demeanor was too positive to feel bad around him for long.

"I only asked you outside yesterday because this guy's face was alight with his love for you. He looked completely devastated, obviously by what he had witnessed or thought he had witnessed between us, but anybody could've seen his love for you through that."

"That's what I really like about you," I admitted, searching out his gaze. "Always honest, no stupid games unless you are explicitly asked for them."

Daniel's boyish smile widened and he nodded his thanks; too busy chewing a mouth full of egg rolls to talk.

"I truly appreciate it," I told him and meant it with every fiber of my being. "And I want to be honest to you as well, I like you, but I still love Jasper. I don't know yet if you were supposed to be in my life as a lover or as a friend and I'd like to find out in time."

Swallowing down his food, he nodded and his face grew more serious. "Take all the time you need, I don't want you to regret your decision. Just know that you'll always have a friend in me. I do like you as well, but I don't know if I could love you the way Jasper does, I don't know you well enough to say such a thing at this time."

"I know that," I agreed. "And I would never ask such a thing of you, I simply want to explore where time leads us or doesn't lead us. I don't want to hurt you along the way though and I would completely understand if I ask too much of you with my request."

"You don't," he assured me, a hint of his smile back on his lips. "I'd like to explore as well. Doing what feels natural is completely fine by me."

My heart thudded a little faster at his admission and I couldn't help myself but grab his hand, pull him a little closer to me and close my lips over his in a gentle kiss. He tasted like egg rolls and I could feel him smile against my lips; for the first time since yesterday evening I felt remotely happy with what was happening. I could just relax and enjoy the moment.

Just then my stomach rumbled loudly, destroying the little moment of genuine happiness and with all the heavy things said I was painfully aware of how hungry I really was; I had barely eaten anything this morning because I was too distracted by my talk with Jasper. Pulling away from Daniel, I fished my sesame chicken from the bag and dug in. A little moan of pleasure escaping me as the delicious taste hit my tongue; I was positively famished.

With both of us eating like starving wolves, the room grew silent. We were both too busy eating and the silence felt easy, not the slightest uncomfortable even after the talk just minutes ago; something I was immensely grateful for.

After finishing lunch, we spent the rest of our time together lounging around at Daniel's flat, talking about everything and nothing like usual. There were light touches and small kisses spread all over the afternoon, but at no point did these actions make me feel pressured that I had to decide about the immediate future. I knew that I would need to decide at some point and I would, however right now the world wouldn't perish if there wasn't a decision made.

By the time I had to leave, I felt lighter than I had all day long. I promised Daniel to call later today and was out of the door with one more light peck on his soft lips. As soon as I left Daniel's flat though, my moodiness came back. One more class, then I'd have to face Jasper again and I had no doubts that there was another emotional talk waiting.

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**AN:**

**had nowaiting ing therelass andhere was no doubt another emotional talk waiting there.l'ng because I was too distracted by my t****Jasper, Daniel, Jasper, Daniel.. or maybe Jasper? :) Still convinced that Edward is making things too easy for Jasper?**

**Thanks to all of you for reading, reviewing, commenting on the last chapter. I didn't reply to any of the comments (sorry!) but I read and loved them all, thank you!**

**Thanks as well do Jasper's Darlin' Kathy, my lovely beta. You are the best hun!**

**Not much babbling this week! See you all in 2 weeks,**

**Sanny**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**JPOV**

As it turned out, Edward's little outburst in the morning had only been the start of a strenuous day. While I could completely understood that he questioned the honesty of my answers about not sleeping with Alyssa while we were a couple, it still hurt me. I had maybe betrayed him and hurt him, but I hadn't lied to him; I had acted from the knowledge I've had at the time. I would've been lying had I said that there wasn't a little bit of my hope crushed after my talk with him.

And then came my mum and as much as I loved her, she made me feel like hitting myself with a baseball bat, repeatedly. I had counted on her joy when I told her that I would be moving back to the states in the very moment I walked into my childhood home. Even though it did inspire her joy, it did nothing to lessen the blow of the following news. She had been cursing for minutes without end on sight when she heard about Aden's paternity; that she didn't board the next plane to Spain, to scratch Alyssa's eyes out, was the only positive aspect of my sad news.

Once she ran out of curse words, she sat me down and made me explain every little detail; it had made feel like the five year old who had broken his arm in solidarity of Edward's broken arm and was getting the first chiding of his life. This was so much more than a simple chiding though, my mom hadn't left me alone until she had the past couple of months wholly reconstructed.

By the time I had extracted a promise from her that she wouldn't board the next plane to Spain and I was finally allowed to leave, I felt bone tired and would've liked to sleep for the next twenty-four hours. However that wasn't an option as I knew there was another talk with Edward ahead of me; there were things to be cleared before we could start rebuilding our friendship.

And so I found myself on Edward's doorstep once more, trying to work up the nerve to actually ring the bell. While I waited for my courage to make an appearance, I wondered once more what the deal about the stranger from yesterday was. Edward had explained that his name was Daniel, they met at a gay club and they were friends. And yet, I couldn't believe that it was all of it, since friends don't walk around in each other's houses half naked.

The thought alone, of Edward being with another guy, sent a painful jolt through my body. Yes, it would be my own fault, but it didn't mean that I'd have to feel happy about it especially because I was feeling quite the opposite way. I wanted to see Edward happy and that would preferably be in my own arms, not the ones of another man.

Just as I was about to knock, I heard the soft piano tones flowing from somewhere in the house. Curiously, I made my way around the house and came to stand at the living room window with a perfect view of Edward sitting at the piano. Despite my behavior, which I assumed came close to the one of a stalker, I savored the moment of seeing Edward the least unguarded he had been since I arrived. His eyes were closed, a peaceful expression stretched over his face as his fingers danced over the ivory keys.

The song ended and I thought it a good time to ring the bell before Edward actually found me lurking outside his window when he started playing a new song which I easily recognized; Aden's lullaby. My heart soared at the thought of Aden, I missed my little man so much, but in that moment I also realized how this must be on Edward who had come to care about my little boy so much; him playing this song brought up all the pictures in my mind of Edward feeding Aden, bathing him and being so damn proud for changing his diapers without getting peed on.

Taking a couple of deep breaths, I willed the tears away and made my way back to the front door. I rang the bell and heard Edward stop playing before he appeared at the door, his face a mix of melancholy and hurt. Lifting my eyes to his, I saw that I wasn't the only one fighting the tears right now. Smiling slightly I greeted him and let him lead me towards the living room.

"Hang on, I'll get us drinks," he sat and motioned for me to sit.

Nodding I sat on the couch and listened to Edward clatter around the kitchen before he reappeared with two beer bottles, handing one to me. Taking one, I smiled my thanks and waited for him to sit as well. I didn't know where to start with my thoughts swirling around my head after hearing the lullaby.

"I'm sorry," I said at last.

"Please," Edward murmured, "Stop apologizing. We'll never be able to build our friendship if all we do is apologize to each other. I know that you are sorry as I am and at some point I'll also be able to forgive but until then, let's not drown each other in apologies, alright?"

Contemplating his words, I nodded my agreement, "You are right. It's just that I heard you play Aden's lullaby and it hit me like a brick in the head that this isn't easy for you as well."

"Of course it isn't, but it's not your fault that Aden isn't your son," he said quietly. "Yes, I did love him and even though I was forced to say goodbye to him already some weeks ago, I only realized today that I won't be looking after him anymore either; won't be able to care for him. And please, don't feel bad, you are already hogging enough guilt – I can see it in your eyes."

"I'm just so frustrated," I sighed. "I can't believe how easily I believed every single one of her lies until the end. I've thrown everything away for her and Aden, just to have her kick me where it hurts."

"You can't change the past, Jasper. Just don't mess up the present."

"Hear, hear; wise words," I joked halfheartedly, suddenly more than a little worried by the subtle message his words carried. If it was in my power I wouldn't mess up my friendship with Edward ever again, but who was I to say that I'd never fall back into the utterly idiotic cluelessness that possessed me these past months? I softly added, "I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking," he whispered. "Now tell me, is Maria in Spain yet?"

Despite the serious level of our conversation the comment about my mum drew a small laugh from me. Edward knew my mum well enough to know that his question wasn't terribly unreasonable.

"It took her quite a while, but eventually she ran out of curse words," I winked and noticed a slight blush appearing on Edward's cheeks in reaction with a flutter in my stomach. "The fact that I'll be moving back here might've won her over though."

"I'm really glad about that as well, even under the bad circumstances," Edward admitted almost shyly.

Although I didn't want to read too much into comments like this, I couldn't quite stop the hope in me from flaring a little brighter. That was, until a little voice reminded me about the good looking stranger called Daniel. Gathering my courage, I finally asked what was nagging at me since yesterday evening, "Is it really just friendship between you and Daniel or is there more to it?"

Edward grew silent and the more seconds ticked by, the more nervous I grew. His eyes were fixed on the floor in front of him as he considered my question and when he finally looked up there was this intensity in his eyes that I couldn't quite identify.

"I won't lie to you," he began, licking his lips nervously. "I've seen Daniel today and told him that I want to explore what's between us, be it friends or lover. I honestly can't tell you at this point because I don't know him well enough myself. All I know for sure is that I feel more comfortable and alive around him than anybody else in some time now."

Edward fell silent again and I avoided his gaze; I felt no need to figure out the strange intensity in his eyes when Daniel was the reason for it. Nodding to myself, I muttered, "I see."

"I wasn't done," he told me firmly. "I told him and I'll tell you as well, I'm not over you and I don't know if I'll ever be, but I can't and won't discard Daniel just like that because you reappeared in my life."

"I understand."

"But do you, Jasper?" Edward murmured. "Do you really understand?"

"Who the hell knows, Edward?" I bristled as the anger welled up in my despite my emotional state of tiredness. "I know I screwed it all up, alright? I know that I don't have the right to feel the slightest bit hurt by your decision and still I do because as you so eloquently put it, I'm not over you either. My life changed completely for the third time in two years and I can't even seem to keep track of the changes as fast as they happen. So you fucking tell me, Edward, do I understand?"

"I'm not telling you this to hurt you," he replied quietly but strongly. "I don't want to deceive you or lead you on and if you decide that you'd rather not stick around 'till I figure out my feelings, it'll be your decision and I won't begrudge you for it."

Shaking my head, I tried to find the right words to explain how I felt. "I have been forced to question every decision I made in the past two years, I don't want to decide anymore. I don't trust myself to decide and while the thought of you with another man is deeply hurtful, I know that I must give you the chance to sort this out if I want to see us together again at some point in the future, else it would just be another thing to stand between us."

"You know," Edward sighed, "I don't do this to make things unnecessarily harder on you."

Draining the rest of my beer in one draw, I nodded. "Yes, I do. I won't give up on us, however I need to clear my head. Tomorrow I'm hoping to meet the rest of our friends to set things straight with them, but maybe we can meet up for lunch the day afterwards?"

"Sounds like a good idea, giving us both some time to cool off. Where are you staying then?"

"At my mum's," I said before I started to explain, "She stored some of the things that I couldn't take with me to Spain in my childhood bedroom. No need to keep relying on your hospitality and your clothes more than I already did."

A small rueful smile appeared on Edward's face and my heart gave a little tug at the look of disappointment; maybe things weren't as hopeless as they had just sounded. Wishing him a good night, I said goodbye and made my way back to my mum's house. Arriving there I still felt bone tired and retreated to my bedroom after a quick talk with my mom. She had at last calmed down, realizing that there wasn't a thing she could do to change the situation in the slightest.

Once my head hit the pillow, exhaustion took over and I slept like the dead until my alarm woke me up in the morning in time to get ready for breakfast with Emmett and Rosalie. Although I knew that Alice would most likely throw a fit because I didn't talk to her, I thought it wise to talk to Rosalie and Emmett first.

I knew that Emmett would be fine with whatever I told him, but Rosalie was the harder party; she would be most likely the hardest to reconcile with. And my thoughts were confirmed as we were seated in a small café in the middle of Seattle.

Both of them had listened patiently to my explanations, but Rosalie told me in no uncertain terms that I had screwed up big time by avoiding my friends who would've stood behind me no matter what. And even though Rose never outright said so, it was easy to understand that she blamed me for Edward's misery over the past weeks and I wholly agreed with her. We all left with the hope that I wouldn't be as stupid again.

For lunch, I met with Alice, Bella and Seth who had managed to coordinate their lunch breaks to meet me in a diner. To my relief, Seth reacted similar to Emmett, as long as I was back and tried to sort my mess out, we were good. Alice true to her little firecracker nature was rather subdued when confronted with Aden's paternity and Bella was her usual calm self; offering me comfort without many words.

By the time we parted, I felt like I could breathe easier. My mum had forgiven me, as had my friends. Tomorrow would be a new day to try and sort things further out with Edward. Now, I only needed to talk with Esme and Carlisle. While Esme had sent me encouraging e-mails even after my break-up with Edward, there was nothing but silence from Carlisle.

Both of them had always felt more like a second set of parents to me and now that I hurt their son, I wasn't sure where I stood with them. From what I gathered from my friends, Edward had reacted very badly when finding out that I dated Alyssa; not that I could hold it against him. It must've put Esme through a lot of distress. As for Carlisle, it was always hard to tell with him; even if he usually kept out of things, I had hurt his son deeply and caused his wife hurt through my actions as well.

I simply hoped they would give me another chance because I would do anything needed to redeem myself in their eyes; they were too important to me. I had also asked my mother to keep quiet why I was back, I needed to explain myself to them personally; I owed them at least that much.

Lying in bed that evening, I wished I had brought the scrapbook Edward had given to me. I ached to hold him in my arms and the pictures of us would've at least provided some comfort. As it was, I resigned with the fact that I'd have to wait until tomorrow to have another chance with Edward to revive the familiarity between us.

Unlike yesterday, I lay awake for a long time, prodding how I could show Edward how much he still meant to me without making him feel pressured. For hours I cooked up ideas for surprises, gifts and dates only to dismiss them without a second thought; nothing seemed good enough and I felt like I had to figure this one out on my own. I wouldn't feel right to ask someone's advice for this because how much could it mean if I couldn't actually come up with it on my own?

Edward deserved to have the world laid out at his feet and while this wasn't something I could give him, I could give him all the fond memories we shared in the form dearest to him. I would still need Esme and Carlisle's help and imploringly hoped that they wouldn't deny me this.

My thoughts revolved around my loved ones for a while longer and at least, I could not pretend that I didn't feel the hurt about the loss of my son when I focused on the people still in my life.

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**AN:**

**Am I driving you crazy yet with Edward's indecisiveness? :) Let me know your thoughts, good and bad!**

**Some small outbursts, some harsh words... But we are getting there – closer and closer to the end.**

**Thanks for your reviews, PMs and alerts. I appreciate all of them so much, even if I don't have time to reply to most of them. And sorry for the delay in posting, my beta and I had slight technical difficulties :).**

**To the person asking what a docent is, it's a professor, teacher or lecturer. I unconsciously wrote docent instead of professor (which seems to be more common in English) because it's how I usually refer to them in German :).**

**One more important thing, my finals start in less than two weeks and will go on for around one week, and I'm sorry to say so but don't expect the next update before roughly three weeks. Studying is crazy right now and my head feels like exploding, I don't think I'll find the time to update; sorry!**

**Thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for my being my awesome beta, you are the best hun!**

**See you in 3 weeks, hopefully sooner ;)**

**xo Sanny**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**EPOV**

As I had hoped, the day away from Jasper provided me with enough space to be able to look rational upon matters. I could now see that Alyssa had never showed him her bad side as openly as I had seen it. In his eyes, she had been the mother of his child and there was no reason for him to distrust her. While it still hurt that he believed her words over mine, I could understand it; I had finally managed to separate my anger at Alyssa and my hurt over Jasper's decisions.

When my parents had called, telling me that Jasper came to see them, it was a pleasant surprise. He didn't seem to waste any time making amends to friends and family. I was happy to see that once more Jasper seemed like my best friend and not the watered down version that was dominated by Alyssa's manipulations.

More than once I thought about ways to help him deal with loosing Aden; I could only guess how hurt he was after Aden had become his whole world the second the little boy was born and now he would most likely never see him again. But there wasn't a thing I could do; I couldn't miraculously turn Jasper into Aden's father, no matter how much better Aden would be off with a father like Jasper instead of Juan.

In the end I had to accept that the only thing I could do was to be there for Jasper with an open ear and a shoulder to cry on. I knew it wasn't exactly what he hoped, but it was all I could give at the moment. I wished I could just simply decide for one, Daniel or Jasper, but it was more complicated than that and I truly hoped that neither of them would get hurt in the confusion of my feelings. I'd be lucky to be with either of them and that was exactly my problem.

When it was finally time to meet with Jasper for lunch, my stomach was filled with nervous butterflies. I was curious to see how things would go now that I might be able to control my emotions a bit better.

Arriving at our favorite sushi restaurant, I noticed that I was way too early; all the more, I was surprised to see Jasper already sitting in our usual booth. It had been ages seen we'd been here together and seeing him in exactly the same spot where we used to sit, woke many unexpected emotions in me.

As Jasper saw me enter the restaurant, his face lit up with a breathtaking smile and just like that my nervousness was gone; I knew we'd be alright, no matter what. Greeting him, I sat down across from him and took a moment to appreciate how well he cleaned up; in washed out jeans and a simple dark grey button up, with his hair in slight disarray, he looked good enough to eat.

"I hope you don't mind," Jasper started, "I've ordered two beers already."

"That's fine," I told him smiling. "Esme called me earlier; she was very happy about your visit."

He, too, smiled slightly as he answered, "I confess, I was terribly nervous about having to face them after everything that happened. I've seen Esme often enough in mama bear mode to know that it's nothing to make fun about."

"Right you are," I conceded. "Though there's one flaw in your logic; to Esme you are like a second son. She might've been outraged and disappointed, but make no mistake and assume that she appointed all of the blame to you. She knows very well that this whole mess wouldn't have happened without Alyssa."

Nodding, he waited till the waitress reached our table and placed a beer in front of each of us before he continued to speak, "Yes, I know that now."

Falling silent, Jasper's gaze swept through the restaurant until his eyes seemed to be rooted to one spot, his expression darkening. Turning slightly to see what he was looking at, I saw a young family seated two tables away from us. The couple looked happy and in love as they both helped their maybe two year old son maneuvering the food to his mouth. I didn't need to be able to read minds to guess what Jasper was thinking about. Clearing my throat slightly, the spell broke and Jasper's eyes met mine.

"How are you coping?" I asked gently.

"To be honest, I try to forget about it most of the time; I don't succeed very often. I never even thought about having children before Aden and then he became my everything, just to be ripped away."

Covering his hand with mine, I gave a gentle squeeze. "I'm so sorry."

And I truly was, even when my words felt inadequate for what Jasper must've been going through. But the past couldn't be changed and spare him the feeling of loss, no matter how hard I wished that I could. Once more, silence had descended on us as we were both hung up on our thoughts until the waitress approached us with our food.

Her eyes were transfixed on the table and following her gaze, I realized that I was still holding onto Jasper's hand. I didn't want to pull away, it felt strangely right, but my mind won over my heart; even with the little progress we had made, we weren't yet at a point where we should be holding hands, there were still too many things that I hadn't fully forgiven.

With deliberate slowness I pulled my hand away, the food had given me a good reason to pull away as we started to eat and Jasper didn't seem to question my decision. I was glad to find no awkwardness left between us which only showed how far we had come in gaining back our friendship in such a short time.

The rest of our lunch conversation was indefinitely lighter; Jasper listened with his usual unwavering attention as I told him about my coursework and newest compositions. In return I offered my opinion on Jasper's newly laid out plans for the future.

"I'm glad you decided to get another degree," I told him. "But why graphic design and not photography or journalism?"

"While I love journalism and plan to use it to earn money while getting my degree, I love photography even more. Through my internship I learned a thing or two about graphic design and experienced firsthand how many options it gives one to accentuate the expression of my photos even more, it combines everything I like to work with."

"You always tried to capture every expression possible," I teased. "And I'm glad you found something that brings you joy, where do you plan to apply?"

It seemed to be an innocent question on my part, but in reality I was asking if he'd leave again. Did I have to learn once more to cope without my best friend or could he accomplish these dreams close by?

"There are two excellent Art Schools in Seattle, of course I hope that I'll get in one of those as I'd like to stay close by," he replied, perfectly understanding the reason behind my question. "Another school is in Portland, those three are my main goals for now."

Immensely relieved by his answer, I smiled and assured him once more how much I liked his plan. It, too, would help him deal with everything that had happened as I'd learned firsthand how much it helped to keep busy.

By the time we left the restaurant it was almost 3 P.M. and the day had gone way better than I'd even dared to hope and with the promise to set up another lunch or date this week we parted ways; Jasper to see his mom and start on his applications while I went home to work on a class assignment.

The assignment itself wasn't too hard as we were supposed to tell a story out of our life; sad, happy or dramatic – we were given free reign. It would've been a lot easier if Jasper wasn't the only thing on my mind. After a lot of trying, scribbling notes on music paper and erasing them again, I found myself telling the most recent story.

There was everything there: the betrayal and hurt I felt after Jasper broke up with me, the desperation to forget the whole mess by burying myself in work, the pain when hearing that he and Alyssa were a couple, my newfound will when I decided to go out and meet Daniel, the feeling of finding something new and good with Daniel, the renewed hurt when Jasper reappeared, the feeling of indecisiveness when it came to choose between Daniel and Jasper and lastly the happiness as I welcomed Jasper once more as a friend in my life.

Only when the last note was written down, I noticed that it was well the middle of the night. Throwing together a sandwich, I ate it quickly and took a fast shower and when my head hit the pillow, the exhaustion caught up with me and I fell asleep almost instantly.

The following day was packed with classes from morning to the late afternoon. The only break I had gotten was a surprise visit from Daniel with two cups of coffee. The caffeine had been exactly what I'd needed, yet being with Daniel made me strangely feel like betraying Jasper; a ridiculous thought, considering that I wasn't with either of them. I simply tried to ignore it and enjoy the precious moment of free time, but the feeling wouldn't leave. It stayed until Daniel left with a kiss to my cheek and even then I couldn't shake the feeling completely, it was still in the back of my mind.

The rest of my classes were utterly useless because I couldn't concentrate on a single thing, my mind once more a swirl of confusion. I was more than happy when our professor dismissed us after our last class and I could finally go home.

Arriving at my house, I slumped down on the couch and started on the pizza I picked up on the way. I hadn't even finished the first slice when my cell rang. Reading Jasper's name on the display, my heart skipped a beat before I answered.

"Hello there," I greeted him.

"_Hello yourself, how were your classes?_"

"Exhausting and obviously too long," I chuckled tiredly. "How are you applications coming along?"

Jasper launched into a tale of the complicated process of perfecting a portfolio and the longer I listened to him speak, the more I relaxed. Once more, I was surprised by the reacquired easiness of our conversation. Things were truly getting better between us, lunch yesterday wasn't just an one time occurrence.

After reassuring him that he'd do just fine and that every school would be lucky to have him, I asked, "Actually, how about breakfast tomorrow? My first class doesn't start before noon."

"_Sounds great,_" he agreed. "_How about pancakes? I totally missed real American pancakes._"

"Meet you at IHOP at 9 then?"

I was barely able to keep my eyes open due to my long composing session the night before and when Jasper agreed to the place and time, I wished him a goodnight. Putting the leftover pizza into the fridge, I decided to take a shower in the morning and made my way swiftly to bed. Stripping down to my boxers, I simply dropped the clothes where I stood and crawled under the blankets. With one last effort I remembered to put my alarm on for the next morning before unconscious claimed me.

Like usual the next morning arrived all too soon and all I wanted to do was throw the alarm against the wall, at least until I remembered my breakfast date with Jasper. The thought alone had me awake in seconds and aware of the erection straining against my boxer shorts. For a second I pondered if I had time for this, but even before I made a conscious decision that I didn't care right now, my hand had already wandered to my hardened cock, freeing it from its silk confinement and stroking lightly.

Closing my eyes, my mind was filled with pictures of Jasper; his lust-filled, blue eyes, his large hands and mostly his full lips reddened by minutes of frantic kissing. Picture after picture of Jasper and me flittered through my head; our first, intoxicating night together after dancing for hours in a club, making love to him after our first official date, Jasper taking me against the wall and numerous other encounters. I could still remember the feeling of his lips wrapped around my cock which was enough for me to become undone in an embarrassingly short time. Cumming for the first time in weeks, spurts of sperm splattered against my stomach as I relaxed back into the pillows, my breath coming in short gasps.

When my breathing finally calmed, I noticed that I was already too late to make it to IHOP in time. I quickly hopped into the shower to wash away the evidence of my orgasm, brushed my teeth and threw on the first clean clothes I could find only ten minutes later.

Arriving fifteen minutes later than agreed, I walked inside IHOP and found Jasper seated in a quiet booth. Sitting down opposite of him, I greeted him with an apology for my tardiness which he just shrugged off.

"Don't worry," he winked, making me weak in the knees. "Overslept?"

"Errr, yeah… somewhat," I stammered caught off guard by his question and not able to think of another excuse fast enough, other than _busy jerking off_.

Arching his eyebrow, he obviously wasn't sure what to make of my answer and I hurriedly tried to change the topic. Letting him know the truth would only give him hopes which I couldn't promise to make true. "Did you work more on your applications? How are they coming along?"

Luckily Jasper didn't question my change of topic and launched into a tale of trying to find the right pictures to complete portfolios for each school. The longer he talked the more I relaxed as he seemed to forget about the topic of my tardiness.

The morning seemed to fly while we thoroughly enjoyed our breakfast. Like always Jasper had ordered chocolate chip pancakes and devoured them with his usual enthusiasm. When his lips slid over the fork and he moaned softly; I was, for a moment, transferred back to weeks prior, the last time we'd been at IHOP together. Just like the last time I wished to be the fork that Jasper's lips closed around. For the second time in a couple of hours I was almost painfully aroused.

Averting my eyes, I focused intently on my French toast and prayed that Jasper wouldn't comment on my strange behavior as I highly doubted that I could talk myself out of this compromising situation. Maybe my prayer was heard or maybe Jasper was simply too enticed by his pancakes, but luckily we slid into a comfortable silence as we chewed away on our food.

I still marveled at how comfortable I started to feel with spending time with Jasper regularly. Despite both of us being hurt immensely by the whole mess with Alyssa, I had learned one thing; if we could make it out of this and still be friends – there was nothing that could destroy our friendship, a fact I couldn't be happier about.

The atmosphere changed abruptly though when Jasper's cell phone started ringing, a frown appearing on his face as soon as he glanced at his display. For several long seconds he just starred at his phone, obviously warring with himself if he should pick up or not. In the end he excused himself, grimacing. He rose to stand and flipped his phone open. "Hello?"

There was a short break as he listened to whoever was on the phone, his frown deepening, before he answered with a curt, "Si."

This one word alone told me that nothing good could come from this and my fears were confirmed when Jasper's face darkened even more and he broke out into a rapid flow of Spanish, too fast for me to translate even a single word.

There was only one person who could be behind this - Alyssa.

What had she done now?

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** AN:**

**What did Alyssa do now? :) Is there even anything left she could've done to hurt Jasper/Edward even more than she already did?**

**Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and so on – I know that I haven't responded to any of them (and probably won't get around to it) but please bear with my e-mail account was filled with over 250 e-mails by the time I got back from my studying break :P.**

**First off, sorry for the long wait (I know that it took longer than I had originally planned) but I have good news– My finals are all done and I'm back to my regular writing although there shouldn't be much chapters left (I think that I already said as much around 10 chapters ago lol). **

**A huge thnaks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for fixing my mistakes, you are the best hun!  
**

**I'll see you all in two weeks on the usual schedule :)**

**Take care,**

**Sanny **


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**JPOV**

"What's wrong?" Edward asked alarmed as soon as I sat back down after ending the phone call.

"That was a Spanish child service worker," I said, still more than a little shocked and desperately trying to sort my swirling thoughts. "Apparently there's been an accident and due to that there's nobody to take care of Aden, they placed him in a foster home until they could get a hold of me to pick him up."

There was dead silence as I waited for some kind of reaction. Studying Edward's face which must look similar to my own, it was easy to see the shock written there; neither of us had expected to have our breakfast interrupted by such news.

"That means…," Edward started carefully.

"That I'm still registered as Aden's father, yes," I sigh, rubbing a hand over my eyes as I grew steadily more tired of this fucked up situation.

More silence passed before Edward whispered, "What now?"

"I don't know," I muttered dejectedly. "It feels wrong to leave him with people whom he doesn't know just because Alyssa is a lying whore. As much as I wish I could, I can't turn off my love for him, no matter how much it hurts me and I can't bear to think of him with strangers."

"In other words, you'll be flying to Spain."

The pain in Edward's voice was easy to detect, but really what else could I do? I didn't want to leave him, not now when we had finally grown used to each other once more. But Edward was a big boy while Aden was just a couple months old, Edward and I would hopefully be able to work things out once I came back.

"I couldn't live with myself if I didn't," I murmured. "I would've gone back anyway to get the rest of my stuff, now that trip comes a little bit earlier than planned."

Pausing I looked at the beautiful man opposite of me whose gaze was fixed on the table, his face lined with worry; my heart soared at the thought of leaving him so soon, but in my heart I knew it was the right thing to do.

Sighing, I continued, "I just hope we still can work out things between us once I'm back, I don't want to leave things unfinished once more."

My words seemed to break his stupor and blinking, he replied, "You wouldn't be my Jasper if you didn't go, I completely understand. It's just…"

He trailed off, obviously not sure how to word his thoughts and my heart constricted at the next words that would come out of his mouth. I braced myself to hear that he couldn't wait this long because there was still another man fighting for his affection. All the more was I shocked when I heard a completely different set of words.

"…do you want me to come with you?"

"But..Wha…?" I stuttered in my hurry to speak all questions assaulting my mind at once. I took a deep breath before I tried again, "Are you sure about this Edward? What about school and your… other obligations?"

_Such as Daniel, _I thought but quickly pushed the thought away. The other man in Edward's life was a matter that could wait a week or two, especially if Edward decided to come to Spain with me.

"More than sure," he confirmed. "I know that this won't be an easy time, being confronted with the fatherly feelings for a child that isn't biologically yours and I don't want you to go through that alone. We are best friends and I want to be there for you. I'll handle my teachers, I can compose anywhere and I'm sure they won't mind in case of an emergency."

"Thank you," I breathed, still not really believing what Edward had just offered. "We should get going then, I have to check for flights."

Taking my hand in his, he gave it a gentle squeeze. "Don't mention it, go ahead now; I'll settle the bill and clear things with my professors. Call me when you've found a flight, will you?"

"I'll let you know the moment I've found a flight," I agreed with a little pang of sadness when his hand let go of mine. "Thanks again."

Edward gave a nod of acknowledgment before I turned and made my way home. Who would have thought a simple breakfast date would turn into a trip to Spain, not a very pleasant one, but a trip with Edward nonetheless.

Arriving at home, I immediately called several airlines and secured us a flight for the following day; I would have preferred an earlier flight, but it was the best I could get and I reminded myself that it could have been worse. Running into mom, I briefly explained the new development which had her furious at Alyssa once more. It took several minutes of calming her before I could convince her to stay at home; the last thing I needed was my mother skinning Alyssa alive.

Calling Edward to inform about the booked flights, I was glad to hear that things worked out with his professors easily. By the time we had agreed on a time to meet and hung up, I wondered how I could ever repay Edward's seemingly endless support. It was much more than I deserved after what I did to him and all the more grateful I was.

Starting to pack my bag, I tried to keep busy as long as possible. I didn't want to think about the feeling of leaving Aden again when all of this was over; I knew it would shatter that little part of my heart that I had managed to put back together with Edward's help after the last goodbye. The familiar pressure built up behind my eyes, but I refused to give in to the tears that always seemed to accompany these dark thoughts.

The afternoon was dragging on as I ran out of things to do and all the happier I was to receive a call that announced Edward's present was done. In mere moments the decision was made and I was on my way to pick up the gift, after all it was meant to show Edward how much history there was between us. He meant the world to me and I needed him to understand this desperately. If the upcoming trip didn't go as smooth as I hoped and if I was honest with myself, it was more than likely considering the feelings in upheaval by this situation, I would at least have one thing to show Edward what he meant to him.

On my way back home I stopped to show Carlisle and Esme, who had readily helped me with my idea, the result of my plan. By the time I said goodbye, Carlisle was smiling and Esme still hiccupped; she was convinced that things would finally take a turn for the better and it seemed the tears that had come with this realization couldn't be stopped – not on her part, not on mine.

It was late when I finally walked into my childhood home. Pouring myself a whiskey, I made my way to the bathroom for a quick shower. Reveling in the heat of the water which relaxed my tense muscles immensely, my thoughts strayed back to Edward. His offer to accompany me came as a surprise, although a very pleasant one. I still wasn't sure if it was a wise decision, seeing how fragile our relationship appeared to be, but there was no chance in hell that I would back out now.

Downing the rest of my whiskey, I crept under the covers and set in for the night. And what a night it was, filled with turning and tossing as I failed to stop the thoughts of Aden and seeing him again. Now that there was nothing to keep me busy, my worry of not being able to handle what lay ahead of me increased by the minute.

I had barely caught any sleep by the time dawn rolled around in grey hues, nonetheless I got up and ready for the day ahead despite the feeling of dread sweeping through me. Sitting down for breakfast with my mom didn't help matters either, she was a bundle of nerves. She talked constantly, steadily avoiding the topic of my visit to Spain. I barely heard a thing she said, but all the same I was grateful for her attempt to distract me.

Thankfully it was soon time to leave for the airport where Edward had agreed to meet me. Picking up our tickets, we were soon seated in the waiting area and awaiting the announcement to board our flight. As it turned out, Edward's presence had me even more on edge. My leg was bouncing up and down nervously when his hand halted the movement gently, startling me out of my thoughts in the process.

"Is there anything I can do?" He asked, worry etched into his features.

I shook my head. "Not really, thank you though."

"Let me know if you think of something," he told me, squeezing my knee softly once before his hand held still. His warmth seeped through my jeans, reassuring me that I had a friend with me who would stand behind me no matter what happened.

Luckily we didn't have to wait much longer until our flight was announced. The ten hour flight itself seemed to drag on, but with the help of two glasses of whiskey and Edward's reassuring words I soon dozed off with Edward's hand firmly wrapped around mine.

It seemed almost ironic that the sky was colored in red and orange hues as we left the airport in Madrid, after all the cheerful colors were completely at odd with my dark mood. Picking up our bags in record time, I directed a cab to my flat. Entering it upon our arrival seemed almost surreal, almost as if I stepped back into another life of mine with baby toys strewn around most of the flat.

"Do you want to shower first while I organize some food?" I asked Edward.

"Sure, you are better at the food thing than me anyway," he said, grinning wryly.

Smiling back, I watched him move towards the bathroom and only when he was out of sight, did I turn around to search for something edible. Luckily enough, I found two pizzas in the freezer and more than enough beer to last us through dinner. After putting the pizzas in the oven, I sat down at the kitchen table, not quite in the mood for the memories that were awoken by the toys all over the place. I still hadn't decided if it was a blessing or not, but it was already too late to contact the police like the social worker had told me to do over the phone.

I was glad when Edward emerged from the bathroom only ten minutes later; his presence alone helped me immensely. Excusing myself, I took a quick shower as well and by the time I was done, Edward had the pizza and two bottles of beer placed on the table.

We ate in relative silence, each of us deeply in thought when I realized that there was only one bed. I knew that sharing a bed, even if it was only to sleep in, was out of question; we weren't back at that point in our relationship yet. By the time we had devoured the pizza, I spoke up, "You can have the bed if you want to, I'll take the couch."

"Don't be silly, Jasper," Edward countered. "Sleep in your bed; I'd actually prefer the couch."

"Why the hell would you prefer sleeping on an uncomfortable couch?"

Edward blushed lightly, but steadily avoided eye contact as he mumbled, "No reason."

"You don't make any sense, but if you insist," I muttered, not wanting to press the matter either.

With the sleeping situation cleared, we both settled in for the night. It felt weird to be back in this bedroom where I had many reminders not only of Edward, but also of Alyssa and Aden. I hadn't been able to bring myself to enter the nursery and still was clueless about my reaction tomorrow. Not knowing what actually happened to Alyssa, made me only more nervous.

Just like the previous night, I spent hours tossing and turning. I tried to tell myself that it was only because of the jetlag, but failed to convince myself of the lie. Morning couldn't roll around fast enough and once more I was up and running with the first rays of lights. I was very aware of the nightmare that haunted the few hours of sleep I had gotten. I had dreamt that no matter what, I couldn't save Aden; over and over a stranger told me that he wasn't my son, not caring how often I insisted that he was.

With the bad feelings from my dream still occupying my mind, I washed up and dressed. Walking into the kitchen, I found Edward; two cups of coffee already waiting on the table.

"Didn't sleep well?" I asked.

"Jetlag," came the muttered reply and it was a small comfort that Edward's lie didn't convince me any more than my own lies.

Sitting down, I took a sip of coffee. "Same here."

"So, what's the plan for today?" Edward wondered, sitting down as well.

This was something I had already thought about as well. "I should call the police officer first and then we can take it from there."

Said and done, I dialed the police officer whom I explained the previous call from the social worker. He already knew what I was talking about and told me to stop by at the police station around 8 a.m. He told me the address which I wrote down and thanked him before hanging up.

I swiftly relayed to Edward what I was told and he agreed that we should just head there first thing and see where we could pick up Aden. With a little luck, the police officer could also inform us about Alyssa's whereabouts, but Aden came first; always.

Seeing that both of us were dressed and ready to go, it was exactly what we did. I hailed us a cab and showed him the piece of paper with the address of the police station and within twenty minutes we arrived at our desired location.

Upon entering, we encountered a small front desk with a friendly looking woman who directed us to a waiting area where the officer would pick us up in the next couple of minutes. Thanking her, we took a seat and set out to wait. Both of us were silent as we waited and my tension steadily rose. After five minutes which felt more like five hours, I was completely drenched in sweat; my shirt sticking to my back uncomfortably.

When the officer entered, I quickly explained Edward's presence as my friend and my wish for him to be present for the following conversation. The officer agreed easily and led us to a small office where he gestured for us to sit while he sat himself behind the desk.

He asked me a couple of questions about the call from the social worker and it was quickly worked that I knew basically nothing but that Alyssa was incapable of looking after Aden and thus I was called in by the authorities. The man's face took a stricken look as he explained that there was a car accident with Alyssa, her parents and Aden in the car which smashed frontal into a tree.

"Lo siento mucho, señora Sanchez sucumbió a sus heridas unas horas después del accidente de coche," the officer told me, pity all over his features.

He fell silent then, watching me closely as I tried to piece together what he just said. I opened my mouth three times before I could finally word my thoughts, "No, debe ser un malentendido. Ella no está muerta."

The pity on his face increased and I vaguely felt his hand on my shoulder as he spoke, "Lo siento mucho."

Suddenly I was very aware that he didn't even try to contradict me anymore. The last thought, before I blacked out, was that she couldn't be dead. What about Aden?

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**Translations**: (Be aware, my Spanish isn't the best and I apologize sincerely for any mistakes I may have made, feel free to correct me. I hope google fixed what I couldn't translate myself.)

"_Lo siento mucho__, __señora__Sanchez sucumbió__a__sus__heridas__unas horas__después__del__accidente de__coche."_ – "I'm very sorry, Miss Sanchez succumbed to her injuries a few hours after the car accident."

"_No,__debe ser__un__malentendido.__Ella__no__está__muerta__."_ – "No, that must be a misunderstanding. She isn't dead."

"_Lo siento mucho__."_ – "I'm very sorry."

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**AN: **

**No more Alyssa, what do you think? :) Let me know your thoughts, good and bad!**

**I realize that I'm posting late and instead of giving you a million excuses, I'll just say that real life is going crazy at the moment (and not in a good way) – I'm really sorry for the delay but I can't promise to post the next chapter in time either. **

**Thanks for the reviews and PMs on the last chapter as well as the warm welcome back from my little break, I appreciate all of them very much as they often have me squealing like my 6 y/or cousin ;)!**

**Like always a huge thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for beta reading and reassuring me time and time again – you are the best bb!**

**I hope you all had a great start into the New Year,**

**Sanny**


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**Previously**

_Suddenly I was very aware that he didn't even try to contradict me anymore. The last thought, before I blacked out, was that she couldn't be dead. What about Aden?_

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**EPOV**

The feeling of helplessness was overpowering as I watched Jasper turn white as a sheet before his eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted, luckily the police officer jumped directly into action and thus prevented Jasper from falling out of his chair.

The officer balanced Jasper in his chair and called out something in Spanish while I hovered uselessly next to them. Only moments later another man brought a glass of water and left again after a quick exchange with the man holding Jasper upright. Slowly but surely I cursed my inability to understand Spanish and started to worry more with every second that ticked by when Jasper's eyelashes started to flutter.

The officer kept speaking to him in low tones and finally his eyes opened completely and he murmured, "I'm fine." Evidently more for my sake than the officer's. Before I could inquire what the hell was going on though, the officer started speaking once more. Jasper simply nodded and listened, occasionally answering with a short sí or no.

I had to literally bite my tongue to stop myself from interrupting their conversation. Even though I knew that Jasper would tell me everything said, I couldn't wait to find out what happened and if he was as fine as he'd said; one didn't just faint for no reason.

After what seemed to be an eternity, Jasper finally thanked the officer and shook his hand before standing to leave. After shaking his hand as well, we were on our way out and as soon as we left the building, Jasper spoke up, "Damn it, how could this cluster fuck happen?"

His face was still positively ashen and for a moment I thought he would faint once more. Looking around, I spotted a bench close by. Guiding him towards it, I said, "Let's sit here for a moment and you can explain what just happened."

"I don't even know where the hell to start," Jasper replied, gruffly. "There was this accident. Aden and Alyssa were out with her parents and their car crashed frontal into a tree." There was a slight pause before he continued, "Only Aden survived."

It took me a moment until I understood the meaning of his words. Alyssa was gone and so were her parents. My mouth opened, closed again and only on the second try words emerged, "But how…?"

Shaking his head, Jasper took a few seconds before he answered, "They were still waiting on reports as they were puzzled by the circumstances of the accident when a few days later they received a call about a madman standing on a bridge hell bent on jumping. As it turns out that madman was Juan who was apparently sobbing over and over again that _she wasn't supposed to die_. They don't know how he knew about what happened, the only thing that they could find out was that only Alyssa's parents and Aden were supposed to die if one was to believe Juan's absurd logic. According to him, they were the only thing left that kept Alyssa away from him."

I swallowed heavily, it was hard to believe what I heard, but after all the stories about Juan, it fit his description exceptionally. I stayed quiet, waiting to see if Jasper wanted to say more and he did.

"There wasn't much more they could get from him and shortly after they diagnosed him with schizophrenia and he went into some kind of catatonic state."

"At least he can't hurt anyone like that," I whispered, shocked by the newly unraveled events. "What about Aden?"

Rubbing his hands over his face, Jasper took a deep breath and continued speaking, "The officer told me that it took them a while to locate me, thus they placed Aden with a foster family until they could locate me. They still think that I'm his father, Edward."

"But that's good, isn't it?" I blurted without thinking. Realizing my slight mistake, I carefully took Jasper's hand in mine. "I mean…"

"I know what you meant," Jasper interrupted as he gripped my hand tightly. "And yes, that might just be the only thing good from it. Apparently Alyssa never had a chance to make it official that I'm not Aden's biological father. Do you know what that means?"

It was easy to hear the tones of growing hope in Jasper's voice, something I couldn't begrudge him. Drawing him into my arms I hugged him tightly and whispered, "I do. Let's pick him up, pack your belongings and introduce him to his grandma, shall we?"

"Yes," Jasper rasped, tears of joy running over his unshaved face.

Biological father or not, Jasper loved that little boy; it had broken his heart to find out that Alyssa had lied to him on such a serious matter. Now though, he had a new chance to raise Aden as his son, maybe not his son by blood, but definitely by heart and I could completely understand how he felt as I had come to love this little boy over my stay in Spain as well.

Squeezing his hand, I waited patiently while Jasper talked to the woman from child services to retrieve the information of Aden's location and by the smile stretching over his face the call went really well. Standing, I gestured to Jasper that I was going to get us a cab and left him to finish the call. Not even two minutes later, he joined me as well and relayed the address to the cab driver.

On the drive he told me that the woman from child services would meet us there; that way he could file all necessary reports and take Aden with him without having to pay child services a visit. A positive nervousness rolled off Jasper in waves, finally things might take a turn for the better again and I was genuinely happy for him.

When we finally arrived at the address, Jasper was a complete wreck. It probably wasn't as obvious to everyone as it was to me, but I could see how bad it really was. One of his hands gripped mine tightly, so tightly in fact that I feared the blood flow to my fingers got interrupted while his free hand reached to rub at his eyes about every ten seconds and there was a faint tremor to his fingers .

Placing a hand on his jaw, I gently turned his face towards me, "Everything will be alright now."

"How can you be so sure about this?"

"Because I know you," I smiled softly. "And I know how much you love Aden."

Shaking his head, Jasper muttered, "I wish I could have as much faith as you do."

"Shush now, let's do this," I encouraged. "I'm right there with you."

Without giving him much more time to make himself even more nervous, I pulled him with me to the door and rang the bell. Within minutes a woman in her thirties opened the door and greeted us in Spanish with a friendly smile on her face.

I watched as Jasper stuttered through a few Spanish sentences, no doubt explaining why we were here before the woman invited us into her home. She led the way to the living room where another woman with graying hair waited for us and greeted us as well.

"She's from child services," Jasper explained while the younger woman walked out of the room. "Aden is taking a nap right now, but Senora Costa went to bring him."

"All will be well," I repeated my earlier words.

He simply nodded and turned back to the woman from child services, patiently answering her questions when Senora Costa brought out Aden. The moment I saw the little boy my heart soared. It had been only a few weeks since I last saw him and I couldn't believe how much he had grown in such a short time. Once I could tear my eyes away from Aden, my gaze fell onto Jasper; he wasn't sitting any longer, but had taken a few steps towards Senora Costa as tears of joy ran over his cheeks. And then he finally held Aden in his arms, the smile on his face radiating pure happiness.

From there on out everything went relatively fast, Jasper signed a few papers and thanked both women profusely before we were back in a cab and on our way to Jasper's flat. Arriving there, it was obvious that Jasper was completely absorbed in the boy nestled into his arms, thus the duty of paying the cab driver fell to me.

Opening the door to the apartment, I let Jasper walk in first. He led the way to the kitchen where he sat down at the table and I followed him, wondering why of all rooms he would choose the kitchen.

Jasper must've seen the confusion displayed on my face as he explained, "Aden should be hungry since it's about noon already. Senora Costa said he'd had his last bottle around 8 am."

"I can prepare it," I offered enthusiastically. The situation seemed a bittersweet reminder of my first visit to Spain.

Nodding Jasper agreed. "That'd be great."

Starting to prepare the bottle, I wondered if Jasper truly realized what had happened over the course of the morning. Alyssa wouldn't be back and there were many things left to organize, with her parents dead as well, Jasper would be expected to take care of things as they had lived together and had a child together as well; at least that's what the officials thought.

After pondering the matter for a while, I came to the conclusion that there was nothing to be done right now; decisions could be made when things settled into a somewhat normal routine. Jasper, at least, seemed more than content for now holding his son.

Screwing the baby bottle shut, I tested the temperature on my wrist just like Jasper had taught me all those weeks ago; it felt good doing this again. Satisfied with the temperature, I handed the bottle to Jasper and settled down to watch him cooing to his son as he fed him. It was a beautiful sight; one I doubted would ever get boring. I waited patiently for Aden to finish his bottle and Jasper started to walk him around until he burped.

"Let's move to the living room," Jasper motioned. "He doesn't seem to be tired just yet, we can talk while I play with him for a bit."

"Sure," I agreed, following the two of them.

Jasper sat with Aden in the baby corner and placed a board that made animals sounds in front of the little boy who was easily delighted by the many different sounds.

"Whoa, he can already sit by himself, when did that happen?"

"Just before I left," Jasper answered quietly, a smile playing around his lips as he watched his son intently.

Chuckling, I said, "A smart one, isn't he?"

"Did you expect anything else?" Jasper grinned.

"'Course not," I winked and made myself comfortable in the love seat. "Now what's the plan?"

"Well, I thought about stopping by at work tomorrow," he mused. "My boss already knows that I want to resign, but I haven't done so officially. I also need to organize all the papers, so that Aden can come with us to the US and lastly we can start to pack everything up."

"Sounds like a plan," I agreed. "I can watch Aden tomorrow morning while you go to work and take care of Aden's papers."

I only received a nod from Jasper in response and it was obvious that he was once more absorbed in the little creature playing in front of him. Keeping silent, I let them be, they deserved the time together. There would be more time to talk when Aden went down for a nap and as it turned out that was sooner than expected.

Jasper excused himself to put Aden in his crib and I was more than surprised when I heard the CD I had recorded for him playing. I hadn't even thought about it until now and was more than a little shocked to hear Jasper play it, although it was a pleasant kind of shock.

"He loves it and puts a huge fuss if I don't play it," Jasper murmured upon his returned, apparently having read my thoughts straight from my facial expressions.

Smiling, I motioned for Jasper to join me on the love seat. "I'm glad he takes so well to it, I can't wait to teach him to play."

"Let him learn walking and talking first, will you?" Jasper teased.

Nudging him lightly, I laughed, "Stop making fun of me."

"It's good to see you laugh so freely again," he said, the light tone betraying the serious meaning behind his words. "I can't thank you enough for being here with me."

"We aren't friends since we were kids for nothing," I replied, my tone equally light. "You won't get rid of me so easily again."

Jasper grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers, whispering softly, "I wouldn't want to; it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life."

"Let's leave the past in the past, alright?" I questioned and gently squeezed his hand. "It's about time to move forward, especially with the little one back in your life."

"You are right – as usual," he murmured in answer before we lapsed into a comfortable silence, each lost in our thoughts.

With my thoughts still on Aden, the thought about the reaction at home when we brought the little boy with us made me smile. Between Maria, Esme and Carlisle the chances stood good that he would be spoilt rotten. And I, too, was more than happy to have him back in my life. I only hoped there weren't any more surprises for Jasper and Aden, they've had enough to last them a lifetime.

I must've fallen asleep over my pondering because the next I knew, evening drew nearer and Aden woke from his nap. I gave father and son some alone time while Jasper went to give Aden a bath – they both more than deserved the quiet time together after all the uproar. Meanwhile I snatched a bottle of beer, made myself comfortable on the couch and thought back to Daniel's words with a fond feeling in my chest…

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x- FLASHBACK -x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

"What happened?" Daniel asked as soon as he opened his door.

"Nothing bad," I said carefully. "At least I hope so."

"Come on in and then you can tell me calmly what's going on," he replied, pulling me inside with a hand on my arm. "You sounded almost hysterical on the phone."

I could feel my cheeks heat at Daniel's words and ducked my head, slightly ashamed of my extreme reaction earlier. When Jasper had heard the news about Aden being with a foster family and I had promised to come with him to Spain to see what the hell was going on, the first logical step seemed to be calling Daniel.

Quickly I retold the story about the phone call Jasper had received and explained that I would accompany him as support for whatever might turn up. "I just couldn't let him face this alone," I finished.

"Don't worry, will you? I honestly understand," Daniel told me warmly.

I wasn't sure what reaction I had expected, but this certainly wasn't it, even if I should've known better.

"Just make sure of one thing, promise me," Daniel said after a pause.

"And what would that be?" I wondered, curious as to what he was on about now.

He smiled at me indulgently as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "Get your man back, of course!"

"I.. ah.. What?" I spluttered, completely shocked by his words and without a single clue as to what he was talking about.

Daniel's smile softened a bit as he began to talk, "I see the look in your eyes when you talk about Jasper. I know that you were honest when you told me that you like me, and I do like you as well, but I'm certain that we would never have what you two have and it wouldn't be fair to either of us to miss something this amazing. I thought you would have realized that by now, but apparently I have to nudge you a bit into the right direction."

Still too shaken up to form any coherent response, I hugged Daniel tightly, kissed his cheek and left with a softly spoken "Thank you". We both knew how much these words meant.

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x- END FLASHBACK -x-x-x-x-x-x-x**

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**AN:**

**Now, aren't looking things so much better? What do you think?**

**I hope this chapter clears most of the question you left me in your reviews, if not please tell me so and I'll gladly get back to it!**

**Again, I thank you for your patience as I'm very aware how late I post this - life is hectic, not only for me but also for my beta and thus it took a while to get this chapter out. Another thanks for the kind words regarding the mess called RL – I'm really happy that you are all so understanding. And lastly, another thanks for reviewing and the kind PMs you left me, they mean a lot even if I never manage to respond to reviews.**

**A huge thanks to Jasper's Darlin' Kathy for always s being there for me and listening to my rambling – you are definitely a dear friend and the best beta I could wish for!**

**Take care and until the next chapter,**

**Sanny**


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer: Everything Twilight-related belongs to SM, you know the drill. Everything else mentioned belongs to their respective owners. I merely own the storyline. =]**

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**JPOV**

As the days passed I finally started to comprehend that Aden was now my son. True, he wasn't my son by blood and I planned to tell him all about it when he was older, but I would always love him as my own, no matter of his biological parentage. I had called my mother on the first evening to tell her everything and she had been just as ecstatic as me.

I was beyond thankful that Edward had come with me on this trip; his presence alone had helped me immensely to calm my nerves on our first day here. And in the following days he had also helped a lot by caring for Aden when I was out and about settling all official matters. But not everything had been as easy, the flat held many reminders of our brief time here together and when I had offered him the bed for the night on our first day, I hadn't even thoughts about how he might feel.

It had taken some prodding until he finally muttered that he didn't necessarily want to sleep in a bed that I had shared with Alyssa as well. I had felt like the world's biggest idiot for not even realizing my mistake until it was too late, yet I was thankful for his honesty all the same – how else could we put the past behind us and make a new future, hopefully together? Luckily Edward wasn't one to hold grudges and the atmosphere relaxed once more.

Every day I waited for the right moment to give Edward the present I had made for him before we left for Spain. I had been lucky to pick it up in time and couldn't wait to see his reaction, but the time had never seemed right so far. The small moments of quiet we shared hadn't lasted long enough before Aden woke, cried for his bottle or I had to leave again for another appointment.

I had taken over the funeral arrangements for Alyssa and her parents as there was nobody else to do it and while there was no love lost between Alyssa and me in past weeks, I found that Aden's mother and grandparents at least deserved a proper burial. Edward agreed with me and even promised to take care of Aden while I arranged everything but that had been as far as he was willing to go. For me that was more than enough, as I would've completely understood if he didn't want to hear a single word about it after what Alyssa did to him.

The time apart from Edward had also made me forget one little thing that I was now forcefully reminded of whenever saw him and Aden together – there was nothing sexier than when he took care of my son. Changing Aden's diapers, feeding him a bottle or humming him to sleep, it didn't matter what Edward did as it always resulted in me drooling after him. I almost felt like my 17 year old hormonal teenage-self who had his first crush ever on him.

For days I tiptoed around him and hoped he didn't notice my hormonal troubles as I didn't want to pressure him unnecessarily and whether he was terribly oblivious to everything happening around him or if he simply ignored it, I didn't know. Luckily the first option seemed very likely because remembering back to those teenager days, he hadn't ever noticed my crush on him either.

Daily my flat became emptier with Edward and I packing up all my belongings in every free minute we had. While there was no pressure to fly back home, Edward did have to get back to his university courses at some point. Two days before our scheduled flight, I attended Alyssa's and her parent's funeral which was a rather quite service with barely any people while once again Edward had agreed to babysit.

When the service was over, I felt a huge weight lift off my chest. I had logically known that nothing could take Aden away from me anymore but the burial had made everything seem more official. And regardless how bad these thoughts sounded even in my head; I was itching to go back to the States and start my new life with Aden and hopefully, at some point, Edward as well.

Entering the apartment, all the stress of the day fell of me when I was met by the most adorable view - Aden napping together with Edward on the couch; it was a scene I hoped to see more often in my future. I couldn't resist and quickly retrieved my camera to snap a picture of the two. Only once I'd taken the snapshot did I look around and found that Edward had packed most of the apartment. Only the furniture was still in place and exploring further, I found dozen boxes stacked in my bedroom. As it seemed, we would only need to pack everything into a container for over-sea-travel which was to be delivered tomorrow morning and after that we were ready for our flight home.

Beyond giddy by the thought of introducing Aden to my family and friends, I made my way back to the living room. It would soon be time to wake up my boys for what I had planned for the evening but for now I could busy myself by getting everything ready. I stocked Aden's stroller with nappies, juice, a few toys and two warm blanket before I moved to the kitchen and started to prepare a small picnic basket.

By the time I was done, it was late afternoon and time to leave if I wanted to follow through with my plan of watching one last sundown on a Spanish beach. I joined my boys in the living room and took another moment to enjoy the view of them napping together before, as if on cue, Aden started wriggling in Edward's arms until his sleepy, blue eyes opened. Disturbed by Aden's movements, Edward's eyes opened as well.

"Hi," he whispered, his voice still rough from sleeping and his green gaze fixed on me.

"Hi back," I smiled. "Let me fix Aden's bottle and then I'd like to take you both for a walk if you are up for it."

"Sure," Edward agreed easily, shifting into a sitting position with Aden still in his arms. "Where are we going?"

Searching for the right words, it took me a moment before I answered, "It's our last evening in Spain and I want to keep some positive memories of this place. I'd like to see the beach once more before we leave tomorrow."

With Edward's nod of agreement, I turned back to the kitchen and fixed Aden's bottle to bring it back to the living room where Edward handed me my little boy once I was seated comfortably.

"I'm going to freshen up a little while you feed Aden, then we can go," Edward told me after a moment of silence.

"Alright," I murmured just for the sake of saying something.

Being alone with Aden, I still marveled that nothing had changed about my feeling towards the little boy in my arms. At first I had worried that it would be hard to hold him and care for him after knowing that I wasn't his biological father. But now it seemed that my feelings were stronger than ever because I came so close to losing him.

With that, my thoughts turned to Edward and my present for him. It was incomprehensible to me why exactly I was this nervous to give him something that I already knew he would like. It was important though that he would understand the thoughts behind the present and I intended to do everything in my power to make those clear to him.

Aden's sudden squirming as the bottle had emptied broke me out of my thoughts and I started to walk Aden around the room until he burped. Meanwhile Edward joined us, now dressed in washed out jeans and a light green shirt and watched me change Aden's diaper.

"Are you ready to go?" I asked smiling.

And with Edward's nod we gathered our things and were on our way to the beach. The walk was relatively short and mostly filled with silence, although there was no awkwardness. There was a warm breeze as we made our way to a more excluded spot, a little bay close to the water and mostly hidden by rocks.

I lay the big blanket down while Edward freed Aden from his buggy and sat with him on the blanket spreading toys for them to play with. Taking the picnic basket I had packed earlier, I sat down with my boys and couldn't care less about the big, goofy grin that, without a doubt, stretched over my face; seeing Edward care for Aden in such a loving, natural way, made me feel all warm and fuzzy all over again.

After watching them play for a while, I started to unpack several sandwiches, cut fruits and two beers. The smile I received from Edward, for fixing us a picnic, almost erased all my troubled thoughts from the da; it seemed like we finally had reached a level where we could be comfortable around each other again.

Chatting for a while with Edward about light topic such as school and my applications, I finally gathered enough courage to get the present from the basket. Seeing Aden doze off, I took my chance. Smiling slightly, I put the present in my lap and tried to sort my thought before I started talking, "As you can see I've got you a little something and I put a lot of thought into it over the past weeks. I can't seem to find the right words to tell you how grateful I am that you here with me at the moment despite everything that happened between us."

Taking a deep breath, I handed him the package and continued talking, "Go ahead, and open it."

I couldn't decide if I would rather see Edward's reaction or not and finally settled on watching his fingers slide under the silver wrapping paper, pulling it aside until the green leather bound book appeared. Scraping together the last of my courage, I lifted my eyes to his face just in time to see his eyes light with wonder as he read the inscription on the front; _Frozen Moments by Edward Cullen._

Catching the movement of Edward's hand in the corner of my eye, I watched him thumb through the book while started to explain quietly, "You once told me that I inspire your songs since you can think and not only do I love your compositions but I also wanted to show you how much our history matters to me. All the years of friendship and especially the short time being your lover, I wouldn't want to miss any of it; the good and the bad. This book symbolizes, for me, our journey together."

Turning towards me, I was Edward's eyes were glistening with tears. "Please say something," I pleaded nervously.

"Wow, I... don't know what to say," he murmured, "Just wow."

"You like it then?" I asked quietly, the insecurity still audible in my voice.

"Don't be stupid, Jasper… I absolutely love it."

Feeling the anxiety fall away, I relaxed at last and smiled hugely at him. "I'm really happy then. Esme and Carlisle helped me a lot as they found most of your older compositions."

"I'm not sure if a simple thank you is enough," Edward said, smiling broadly. "But thank you so much, these really mean a lot to me."

Smiling back, I answered, "As they do for me. It seems like a recollection of our time together, a time I never want to end. And I want to apologize once more for being stupid enough to ruin it all."

"Please stop apologizing… I've already accepted all your apologies," he whispered and took my hand which doubled my heart rate. "It was not only your fault and it's in the past now. I want to look forward and while I'm nowhere near ready to be lovers again, I can't imagine a life without you, or Aden for that matter."

Smiling hugely I squeezed his hand as the relief swept over me. "That's more than I dared to hope, especially with Daniel in the picture."

"Then you might be happy to hear that Daniel and I decided we would be better off as friends," Edward told me. "Actually he nudged me I the right direction."

Hearing Edward's words, my hope swelled even more and there was a burst of gratitude towards Daniel as well. I hardly knew him, but another man would've tried to win over Edward, no matter the cost.

Overwhelmed by my feelings and lost for words, I sat quietly for a moment and watched the sun disappear behind the ocean, bathing the sky in pink and orange hues. It was a beautiful sight but couldn't even begin to compare to the feeling of Edward holding my hand. It was such a simple thing but it meant the world to me at this very moment.

Edward, too, sat quietly and let me work through the turmoil of my feelings, he seemed to understand me without words and I was beyond thankful to have him here, at my side. After sun had disappeared completely, he started talking once more, "I've been thinking the past days we've been here and with every day it feels more right to ask you." Pausing he turned his to look at me. "You know that I've got two guest rooms… we could turn one into your room and one into Aden's. I know that your mom would help you with him while you go to school but…"

"Edward," I interrupted. "Stop talking and let me answer because I would really like that."

"Really?"

The surprise in voice evoked a loud laugh from me. "Of course, seriously what's not to like?"

"We aren't moving too fast, are we?" he backpedalled. "I just don't want to put too much pressure on you."

Shaking my head lightly, I answered, "Don't worry, I get it. I mean… I'll have my own room, what's not to get? We can still take our time and grow closer again before taking the next step."

And with that cleared, we settled into easier topics for the rest of the night. Every now and then I caught Edward looking at the book with his compositions, the awe still etched in his face while I silently contemplated what else I could do to show Edward how much he meant to me.

The evening was over too soon and even though I felt a little sad about that, the happiness and hope of the successful gift overpowered everything else. At home we said our good night and I tucked Aden in his crib before I went to bed as well.

The next morning brought the expected stress of last minute arrangements like piling all my belongings into a container to be shipped to Seattle while looking after Aden. My feelings about leaving Spain behind were mixed. On one hand there were many bad memories here like Alyssa's lies, Juan, my break up with Edward and ultimately Alyssa's death but on the other hand, there was Aden and many good memories about the little family Aden, Edward and I had become; already before the break-up and of course now there hope for the future.

By the time everything was packed and the container was dispatched, it was also almost time for us to make our way to the airport. I was a little skeptical about Aden's first flight but Edward managed to keep me mostly calm; at least the cab ride went without any problems.

One thing I wasn't prepared for was the enormous relief I felt when the plane took off in Spain. I realized that I could leave the bad memories behind but take the good ones with me and built more of them in Seattle. The past was just that, the past. I couldn't change it and I finally accepted that. I left behind the guilt and looked forward into the future, a quite possible and very bright future.

As it turned out, I didn't have to worry about Aden. He acted like a twelve hour flight was something he'd done a dozen times; he slept calmly through some minor turbulence, demanded his bottle and our attention once he was awake and was basically the poster infant for plane travelling. He probably wouldn't have minded being on the plane for another couple of hours but I was immensely grateful when the plane finally touched down in Seattle.

After claiming our luggage, we stood in front of the airport to hail down a cab. Edward was at my side his hand in mine while I carried Aden and for the first time in a long while I felt truly settled and at home.

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**AN:**

**So, what do you think? Do you like the present?**

**I realize it's been a long while since the last update, I apologize. Also this chapter isn't beta'd yet, since real life comes before FF and my beta's RL is busy :P. So again, I apologize for the mistakes I made. Feel free to point them out and I'll fix them, otherwise, I'll replace this with a beta'd version later on.**

**Thanks for all the PMs, alerts and reviews (which I suck at answering)! I loved each and promise you that this story will be finished (There's not so much left of it anyway ;)).**

**The next chapter will be there hopefully sooner, but I can't promise anything.**

**Take care,**

**Sanny**


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